Would you classify this as playing hard to get?

Question

Would you classify this as playing hard to get?

Influencer

If you e-mail them so often it becomes obvious you like them

But you don't include any hint of personality or emotion or desire or sexual availability in your messages

Would it work?

24

7

Most Helpful Guys

LordSnuggles
Xper 6

4 d

Imagine being a guy getting a ton of emails from a woman with no hint of personality, emotion, or desire and thinking, "Aw yeah she's just playing hard to get". Then, he goes after her and she says, "what's wrong with you, my emails had absolutely no hint of emotion or sexual desire." I imagine he'd be very confused.

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Most Helpful Girls

AmandaYVR
Xper 5

4 d

Call it "ball of confusion". Why would you do that? Don't do that. This is the kind of thing that guys are going nuts trying to interpret. Declare your feelings, but subtley, and take the consequences, or reap the rewards. It'll be so good if it works out. I think the men of the world are going to crazy if something doesn't change.

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- lizzielolx
  
  4 d
  I second this!
- MM442
  
  4 d
  @AmandaYVR , exactly, men don't want to play head games and trying to figure out what exactly a girl wants from me. It's, no, maybe, soon, yes and no, just friends, not friends, mean & angry, don't care attitude, she wants money, she wants vehicle, she wants sex then no she doesn't want sex. She gets people to harrass the man, spreads false accusations the man is gay when the man is straight sexually. Then she wants to have a relationship after all. She wants gifts then she doesn't want gifts. She doesn't have anything to do with me for months or years while she is with a different man, then they break up and she regrets letting the the other man get away.
  She just wants to be a player with all the men, but the man she wants better toe the line. The man is expected to take care of her children while she goes ot and plays the field with other men and lie straight faced about it all. Then the girl or women blame everything on the men. Men refuse to deal with all of this bull and dishonesty from girls and women.
- lizzielolx
  
  4 d
  Well that was abit deep!
- Show All Show Less
- MM442
  
  3 d
  @lizzieloix, yes it is very deep the extent girls and women turn against men in a slipt second and the truth.
- AmandaYVR
  
  2 d
  @MM442 Ok, we hear you. Sorry you had some really terrible experiences. That's not cool.
  But also just because the asker here, Jennifer, is asking that question does not mean that she/or the hypothetical subject of the q, therefore plans to "be a player with all men". That is a separate scenario and the two are not necessarily linked.
  Some women have found the exact same things with guys, so they wonder if they play hard to get a bit, does it make them seem more desireable? And what I hear over and over from men is "yes, from some/a few, but a resounding 'no!' from most. Hopefully women will read this, and others like it on gag, and change some of their thinking.
  Women get bored, men get bored, they both want variety, they want to shop around and experiment... SOME OF THEM. But a whole bunch of others who want none of this, and really want to get into a great, lasting, committed relationship. People just have to find the right match, and what they really want, but may not be saying out loud. So in the end, be straight, and no games, People. There's enough people to go around, probably.
alice55
Master

3 d

This would just make the guy think you don't like him in a romantic way then..

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What Girls & Guys Said

522

PrincessGrail
Influencer

4 d

No clue. Never tried that.

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AlexanderBrunnrgaard
Yoda

4 d

I'd be weirded out if someone continuously e-mailed me, that's creepy and annoying. It's not the usual tool of communication anymore first of all. Secondly, not showing any emotion or desire etc. would just confuse me as to what this lady wanted from me.

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AndreasM96
Xper 5

4 d

Playing hard to get would be more like "receiving 10 emails and replying only to 1 just because you can", so no. But on the other hand, if you do like the person, why be "cold"? Messaging a lot makes "kinda" obvious you find them a nice person, not necessarily more than that.

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JKingOff
Xper 3

4 d

No, it would just make you look like a creeper. Constantly messaging someone sends a huge red flag and scream stalker. If you don't indicate anything about your personality, or your sexual desires then how do you expect them to know? be a man, not up, ditch the Gmail, and talk to them in person face-to-face! Stop being a weirdo!!!

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R_Cakes91
Xper 6

4 d

Hard to get would mean barely communicating with him. Emailing him constantly, although you haven’t indicated you like him, still shows that you are thinking of him.

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MusicMayhem
Yoda

4 d

If this is your game it's terrible and won't work. A guy has to care about you first to get invested and he sure as shit won't care if you don't show personality.

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Xaniac
Xper 1

4 d

Well, a few persons have tried getting me recently and I kindly declined to all of em because they weren't my type. But once that "my type girl" hits me up, I'll probably be super easy to get. Depends from guy to guy though.

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OrangeBoy2
Xper 6

4 d

Not exactly, it kinda suggests you see him more as a friend, or partner to simply chatting.

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LoU_Hades
Xper 6

4 d

no...
you have to depict yourself in some extent as a sexual being... otherwise it will be taken as friendship or obsession

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bklynbadboy1
Yoda

4 d

Why do people have such a hard time expressing what they feel. Just tell them you like them instead of sending all these mixed signals hoping the receiving party gets the message

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slatyb
Guru

4 d

I would classify it as annoying. Games won't get guys. If you want a date just ask him.

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JamesRandiDebates
Xper 7

2 d

No. That would come across as bland and uninteresting.

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winterfox10
Guru

4 d

No, that’s not playing hard to get; that’s just plausible deniability. A girl I used to think of as something of a pre-girlfriend used to pull that crap, and it just created needless conflict

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kinkavel
Xper 1

4 d

No that's playing a bot, playing hard to get is including personality, sexual availablity, desire and making them want you but holding out just long enough Ur torturing them but not so long they give up

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crazy8000
Xper 7

4 d

What kind of person are you after to get?
What kind of relationship dynamics are you after?

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Leo1991
Xper 2

4 d

Yes i would and probably lose interest in it tbh, depends on the guy but we don't mind a chase. But we need a little something to go on otherwise its friend zoned

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sexphobe
Xper 5

3 d

who is flirting via e-mail in this day & age lmao

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Jjpayne
Master

3 d

Nope, I think that be be clingy at least to me

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GhettoGirl
Xper 4

2 d

Annoying is all it is, is this the best you got?

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Dongtai
Xper 5

4 d

Sounds like friendship

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HereIbe
Guru

3 d

Just give it up and become a cat lady.

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cuttl
Xper 6

4 d

No, this just sounds like being an ass.

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dragoblack
Xper 5

4 d

It shows not interested, not hard to get

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- Blueeyes81
  
  4 d
  Agreed
Anonymous

4 d

I like the chase, myself

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Fuentes
Yoda

3 d

Stop emailing

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samael_kmarty
Xper 5

4 d

I hope it works.

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ISarithI
Xper 5

4 d

hmmmm...

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holograph Xper 5 · Accepted Answer

So your only hint is that you're emailing them often but not using language that would convey this? I don't consider that playing hard-to-get, no. I also don't think playing hard-to-get is attractive. I know a lot of women tell each other that men find it attractive. But most of us do not - at all. I cannot stress this enough. I have been friends with women that emailed me often who turned me down for anything more than that. And that's fine. But my point there is that it's not obvious to men that emailing often means you like him.

Would you classify this as playing hard to get?

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