What do men really think if single moms?

[lyssagirl]

I recently separated from my husband who i have been with since the age of 17. I was loyal whole time, he wasn't n i had enough. Guys no judgement would u really date a good lady even if she was a single mom. Why or why not. Trying to figure out if its worth it to try dating or just accept that thats not happening any time soon and i want to know this from a guys angle

[Anonymous]

For a lot of guys it's a deterrent, but I would never tell to you just not bother trying. There are guys that won't mind. But, it will be harder for you to find them for sure.

It's not an automatic deal breaker for me personally, however I do give it serious consideration. I don't want to be a father figure to a child that isn't mine, and even if that's not your intent, the child is going to become attached to me over time likely. So there's not only you to consider, but the child as well. Not only that, but just as importantly (maybe more), a child takes up a huge amount of your time and energy and I automatically wonder, what's left for me and the relationship? Are we going to have any private time together? And if we do, are you going to have any energy for anything? I don't mind sharing you of course, but I know the time and energy a child takes from you and that's the HUGE concern for me. So that's why a lot of guys avoid women with children.

[lyssagirl]

If the children are in a good routine they feel settled and feel safe. With my previous marriage i never had a problem with giving him the care and attention he wanted. Honestly prolly gave him more than He deserved. And the child attatchment is something i would be concerned with as well. Its one of the main reasons im hesitant to try for anything serious. Is it wrong to ask the man to wait to meet the children until your relationship is farther along and both parties are sure they are on the same page?

[Opinion Owner]

I'd personally assume/expect that. I'd understand totally if it were me.

[lyssagirl]

Thank u for the really insightful discussion.

[Vicimer]

I personally have no problem with a women having a child from a prior relationship; I like kids and I can work around schedules. But I will say that single mothers are often unavailable and have unresolved issues with their baby daddy, which can be a challenge for me to work around. But the kids themselves are never the problem.

[lyssagirl]

What a respectful way to put it. Take notes boys. Thank u for sharing your opinion

[bamesjond0069]

Most men would fuck them. Most men with other options would not date them. Meaning if you are hot and looking for nsa you will do fine. If you want a new relationship prepare to dig through the bottom of the barrel for the leftovers. You probably won't do any better than what you had tbh.

[lyssagirl]

Got it stick to nsa. Lol.
Thank u for sharing your opinion.

[Philyouup]

You just called me the bottom of the barrel.. I married a Single mother. I am no slouch or 2nd prize, She got a great husband, and a father for her child that I love. I got a loving wife and child. Saying that the men a single mother finds is somehow less than optimal is actually pretty horrible. And certainly not true.

[bamesjond0069]

@Philyouup dude no man in his right mind if he had two equally good women to pick would choose the single mom over someone w no kids. You had few options and went with your best one. Good for you. But to say you were mr. Popular and had all these great women after you... be real, you didn't.

[Philyouup]

You really don't have a clue.

[bamesjond0069]

@Philyouup yeah i have a clue. I can get cute nice women w no kids wtf would i date a single mom? You freaking nuts?

[Philyouup]

Dude, settle down.. Didn't mean to upset your manhood.. Wow... But remember, you called men who marry a single mother bottom of the barrel. Well with this statement, you are certainly not the top catch either,

[bamesjond0069]

@Philyouup well they are. Single moms either had a baby with a fuck boy meaning they are attracted to losers. Or they had a good man and drove him away. It takes a damaged man to make that work... or the girl fixed herself but comes with baggage for a cuck to clean up. Sorry not sorry. No good can come from getting with a single mom.

[Philyouup]

This is the only situation you mind can come up with? Single moms either had a baby with a fuck boy meaning they are attracted to losers. Or they had a good man and drove him away.

You are a little misogynistic aren't you? What little you have learned in life.. I think you are the fuck boy because those are the only situations you can come up with... It's a shame really...

[lyssagirl]

Some of us didn't just have a baby. We married devoted ourselves and created a family but were screwed over by our partner. My soon to be ex husband will tell anyone that there was nothing i did that drove him away. Not one thing. It was all him and his own issues. Just because were strong enough to walk away and decide wed rather be single than be treated in a way we dont want doesn't make us damaged. Everyone has a different story as to how they end up in situations and its wrong to assume what happened. Now i will say i appreciate your blunt honesty cause most of us would rather know upfront that your not on the same level. Keep that. But maybe lose the judgement on how people end up where we are.

[bamesjond0069]

@Philyouup besides being widowed which makes up less than 1% of single moms, what other possibilities are there?

@lyssagirl why were you attracted to a man with mental issues? Let me guess, you want a stable man this time around? But a stable man wasn't good enough for you the first time smh.

[Philyouup]

@lyssagirl this guy is a MTGOW and very bitter.. ignore him he has a single track mind, he isn't going to learn anything , not even a hammer is going to make anything sink in to the head. you and all women are just a vagina for him to use.

[lyssagirl]

My husband wasn't instable. he's a fantastic father, but why should i put up with cheating. Would u, even if u had a kid with your partner. He could get me sick like that. I honestly dont know yet what i want prolly more than likely ill remain single doing the nsa thing until i met someone whod change my mind. And i was 17 dude when i met him i was 19 when i had his first kid and married him. What really did i know other than he made me feel beautiful and was 100%on board with being a full time parent with me. I was a kid who had to make grown up decisions.

[Philyouup]

@lyssagirl this guy will find fault in EVERYTHING you say or use to defend yourself. It's about being "right" for him

[bamesjond0069]

@Philyouup lmao how am i mgtow? I actively date girls. I just dont date single moms or divorcees and things like that. Not my problem.

[bamesjond0069]

@Philyouup yeah exactly. If you ain't right for me then kindly piss off and bother someone else i dont owe anyone shit

[lyssagirl]

Very true u dont owe anyone anything. Guys lets wrap this up. this discussion has been interesting to watch play out. I appreciate both your views and thank u for answering so honestly

[Philyouup]

You have a right to date anyone you choose, agreed. But your language is so horrible,. "No man in his right mind" ? Who are you to make the determination? It's the enforcement of a stereotype , that single parents are sub quality. Its insulting. My question wasn't insulting, it was asking women how they felt about that mindset. You can in with a rather misogynistic comment, and insulting as well , no one insulted you in the questioning, as if you were defending the men that think that way... ... It is MGTOW behavior. MTGOW date, they have sex.. they aren't incels.. just bitter men..

[Anonymous]

Every heard the term MILF? :)

OK, kidding aside, for me it depends on her story. In other words, how did she end up as a single mom? How did she behave during the divorce? How did she treat her husband during the process, what was he left with, does he get to spend time with his child now? Lots of details like that make a big difference to me because they tell me who she was, which is a pretty good indicator of who she is now and will be in the future.

[Opinion Owner]

*ever

[Iron_Man]

Yes I will date you maybe even marry you. Only if we have our own new kids together. But the original father is the original father I cannot interfere and tell the kid what to do because
I'm not in charge of him

[lyssagirl]

Thank u for sharing your opinion.

[Iron_Man]

👍

...

[Philyouup]

I have no issues dating a single mom, Why would I.. Younger guys might, if they aren't fathers.. they have no idea of the commitment one needs to be a parent.

[lyssagirl]

I appreciate the your viewpoint thanks for sharing it

[Philyouup]

I dated and eventually married a single mother.

[lyssagirl]

Good for you and her

[Jackieboi]

You should probably date guys older than you or somewhat in similar situations. They will be a lot more understanding i think.

[lyssagirl]

thank u for sharing your opinion.

[Jackieboi]

Maybe its just an opinion but think of it from a younger persons standpoint, who probably doesn't have attachments like kids. Its highly unlikely theyll settle because they still have tons of time and experiences to make, even less with likely with someone with something as serious as kids. Im not trying to darken your looks just trying to prevent you from pissing away time on guys wholl act like theyre in it to win it because of your kid (s) but actually just be looking for sex. If thats what you're after however then browse all generes by all means!

[lyssagirl]

I appreciate the advice.

[Haelaeix123]

Personally I would, nothing wrong with a single mom

[lyssagirl]

Thank u for sharing your opinion

[Haelaeix123]

No problem :)

[Anonymous]

No not taking care of another person kid. Also that just means the guy will not be her priority and also she has given birth so that pussy is probably destroyed

[lyssagirl]

I appreciate your opinion thank u for sharing

[Opinion Owner]

Yep I would just focus on your kid and yourself now you kinda already had your chance at love it just didn’t work out it happens

[Marshymallow]

Lol, what’s up with ur comment bruh? What age do you live in? The 60’s? Who told ya there’s only one chance at love? Lmao, your comment is seriously cracking me up 😂

[Opinion Owner]

@Marshymallow it’s called being honest. Guys don’t want to raise other guys kids that’s not smart all and like I said a guy knows he won’t be the women priority which he shouldn’t be the kid is what’s most important

[lyssagirl]

He shared his opinion. And his age states under 18 he hasn't even had a chance to realize what real life is about. He allowed to his opinions same as everyone else

[lyssagirl]

I appreciate your candour

[Marshymallow]

I’m a kid too and I know it doesn’t work that way. It’s his opinion but I’ve seen plenty of guys who date single moms and even marry them. You should go out some more @OpinionOwner

[lyssagirl]

Thank you for the defense of single moms honey i appreciate u speaking up.

[Pete671]

Single mums are awesome, if guys have a problem dating a woman who has kids they aren't serious about them imho,,,

[lyssagirl]

Thank u for sharing your opinion

[moo07]

For me it's surely YES, but to be honest it depends on her personality, age and being single mom are nothing but personality and woman intelligence for me are the keys.

[lyssagirl]

Thank u for sharing your opinion

[TheRealQuestion2]

As someone who wants a family, it depends heavily on:

1. Do you want more kids?

2. Are you a responsible family oriented mother?

[lyssagirl]

Im going to answer these even tho im sure ur asking in general because a lot of u seem to say u want bio kids. Yes id want more kids with my next spouse, i have a large family and have no problem adding more children.
And the second hell yes i am.
Also its nice to see guys actually care about that.
Thank u for sharing your opinion and the questions

[TheRealQuestion2]

Im glad to hear that you prioritize your kids, i know people who dont and it upsetting.

And yes i do want kids of my own, sadly the only women who've expressed any interest in settling down with me either can't have more or don't want more.

[lyssagirl]

I had plans to become a foster mom. Right now that may not be in the cards but id def like to come back to it again. It amazes me how many kids are without a stable home life. I dont understand these parents, i gave up a full ride scholarship to be able to carry my son full term and give him a good life. But some people can't even give up their time? Their attention. Really worried for the next generation tbh

[TheRealQuestion2]

I know exactly what you mean. Drugs are common in my area and a friend recently told me that she was broke because she gave all of her money to her boyfriend for drugs and gas, then 2 minutes later she asked to borrow some cash because her kid was out of formula and diapers. I feel bad for the kind of life her kid will have if she doesn't straighten out her priorities.

[rusteenutts]

I date single moms because I'm a single dad and when I can't be with my son I still have the sense of family and those kids need that the most

[lyssagirl]

Thank u for your opinion

[rusteenutts]

You're welcome

[ItsAMeA]

I only speak for myself. I personally wouldn't date a single mother.

[lyssagirl]

Well thank you for your honest opinion.

[ItsAMeA]

Of course. :)

[Exorcist_Rampage]

They wonder why you don‘t want to be a double mom, a triple mom or a homerun mom.

[lyssagirl]

Im trying to understand your answer. Please clarify

[aceruser101]

this is what happens when you date nd fuck too young, i wouldn't no.

[lyssagirl]

Thanks for your opinion. And yeah it is too young, but i got the best things in my life from it. Just sayin.

[aceruser101]

that is actually a very good point, all the best!

[Anonymous]

Not a problem if the dad of the child is out of the picture , and no feeling for him are left.

[lyssagirl]

Out of kids life or r u just saying moms feelings. Im only trying to clarify.

[Opinion Owner]

Moms life.
I’ve dated single moms that had flings with their ex.

[lyssagirl]

Thats awful. Im sorry you had to deal with that. Cheaters r the worst. Thank u for sharing your opinion

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck

[Anonymous]

there are guys out there, im not one of them, sorry

[lyssagirl]

Im not looking for a date on here. Im just curious over opinions. Would u mind stating why this would be a problem for u. Ni judgement

[Opinion Owner]

Nope

[lyssagirl]

Well thank u for the comment anyway

[outside_Toronto]

Some men like them, others not so much

[lyssagirl]

Thank u for sharing

[zagor]

A consideration, but not a show-stopper.

[PrinceOfAljazera]

ewww

[lyssagirl]

Thats not an explaination really.

[PrinceOfAljazera]

well i don't like single moms, they are red flags, can't deal with other ppls kids.

[lyssagirl]

See not hard to explain why. Thank u for your opinion.