Do women need men more than men need woman?

Question

I used to think it was the other way around, but seeing how everything in the world is playing out with the way women live their lives "free" maybe it's the oldschool values I was raised with but I see a bunch of women, progressively becoming bigger and bigger hoes as they age and remain single.

I see them not really going anywhere in life, not building anything, not a family, not even any material possessions. And the older single women get, the more miserable they seem. They either mellow themselves out with fruitless relationships and meaningless sex or go totally crazy.

With men, they tend to either feel sorry for themselves and live in their moms basement or become hugely successful, making their coworkers and friends their family and leading fulfilling lives.

There's exceptions to both sides, I know. But I think this is true at least in the type of area I live in a vast majority of the time.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I feel like this is wishful thinking, unfortunately.  When women are single for an extended period of time they tend to go back to school, travel more, and develop their friendships with other women but men who are single for an extended period of time are more likely to lash out and commit crimes or even join decentralized cults like Incel forums.  Men's life expectancy goes up when married to a woman but women's life expectancy goes down when married to a man. Especially now that more men expect women to pay half of everything, meaning they work just as many hours,  and  do all of the domestic labor, childcare, and household administration duties. So women literally get worked to an early grave.   Single women without children also tend to be the happiest and healthiest group of adults because in most families the mother ends up doing all the caretaking, even for her adult husband so women really appreciate having free time.  The main issue is that before women could have an education, a career, a bank account, credit cards, or own property, they needed to marry a man just to survive! Now women can function as the adults they are in society and they can actually pick a man because they want him not out of necessity.  But men haven't caught up with the fact that now they have to work harder and go to therapy so that they are attractive life partners since women can survive and even thrive without being married to a man.  You mentioned "fulfillment" but you can't overlook the historical context of traditional marriage. A staggering number of 1950's housewives had to be numbed into a false appearance of contentment with large amounts of barbituates and other pharmaceutical drugs because they often had minimal education and their passions as individual human beings were crushed in favor of household duties, serving their husband, and raising their kids. Some women do only dream of those things but it's not all that common, women are people who dream of writing books, starting a business, inventing things, and making art etc. So drugs, alcohol, and even lobotomies had to be used to numb the sorrow and anxiety of women who were prevented from pursuing their intellectual interests in life.   I think that eventually a balance will be reached again and human beings will adopt a more natural dynamic that more closely resembles hunter-gatherer dynamics where the division of labor is more based on individual skills and preferences than just genitals. Our ancestors used to live in community rather than separated little family units and that is much more fulfilling and natural for the human brain. The nuclear family was created during the industrial revolution to isolate and control people better and unfortunately, we fell for it and have been paying the price ever since.  Naturally, if a girl was interested in setting traps and hunting small game she would be able to keep doing that as a woman. If a boy was interested in weaving and tanning hides to make clothing and blankets he would be able to keep doing that. Tasks were more based on individual skills and interests whereas now they are based on genitals which makes a lot less logical sense. Mothers would not be stuck inside a house caring for her children all alone, she would go out with the other mothers and their children to gather and set traps as a group. This way she would be socializing with other adults and staying intellectually stimulated and all of the adults in the community would help care for and teach the chidren together.  The nuclear family has stripped us of our power by cutting us off from the strong community ties we would naturally have. It has also trapped men into the role of the provider in a way that kills off their natural instincts to nurture. Men need time with their children and women need time with other adults otherwise we just end up with toxic families where the dad is emotionally distant and the mom is overwhelmed and resentful because she feels like she has lost her sense of self.  It's far more complicated than whether men need women more or the other way around. We all need COMMUNITY most of all and society becomes weak and toxic when we don't have it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’d say no. Statistics show women are on average happier being single than men are and it’s also a well known thing men are more desperate than women, even if it’s about sex (they need women for that). I mean, just look at the gender ratio at dating apps. Women can become desperate for children but nowadays they can have that through adoption or a spermbank without a man in their lives. Lonliness is a bigger problem for men as they tend to have less close friends/family as they get older compared to women and so if they stay single or divorce a lot of them end up very lonely. The woman is more often the one who handles the couples social life, arranging get togethers and stuff.

I think the dating culture the way it is now with all its shallowness, lies, manipulation, hookup-culture, commitment phobics and what not has made people lost though. Both men and women lost a real sense of purpose. Men shut down and retreat to their basements and women give up and dedicate their lives to their kids or cats. Neither trusts the other, and honestly rightly so as people today unfortunately can’t be trusted and ”to love and to honor until death do as part” either doesn’t exist at all or lasts until its not just fun and easy anymore. I believe both men and women would be happier if the dating culture would be healthier and there was a more realistic approach to relationships and what warrants divorce/separation and what doesn’t and how much work and effort both people need to put in towards the relationship and partner. That you could actually trust that your life partner wouldn’t leave or wrong you at any time.

I don’t care what men say about loving to sleep around, in the long run that’s not healthy or the road to happiness. Men need a sense of purpose and feeling of being needed, granted that can come from different of sources but for a lot of men that would come from being a husband and a father who takes care of and provides for his family and leaving a legacy. Women need feel loved, protected and taken cared of. A lot of women have the need to care for others and for many raising children feel like a physical need. The biological clock and longing for a baby can hurt physically in women or take over their entire life. Both men and women need to feel appreciated. They can give all this to each other and conpliment each other perfectly - in a perfect world. Like mentioned this is not the case nowadays though. Culture in society encourage other ways of life and it’s obviously not making people happy. There are so many broken people today who’s been through relationship/dating trauma and will never be able to form healthy relationships again, at least not without extensive therapy.

USLegionary · Accepted Answer

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of watching the Dutch version of Survivor (Expeditie Robinson) with my feminist roommate. That particular season would have two islands, one populated by men and one populated by women. My roommate had been promoting that particular series to me and the other students in the house for weeks because it would show us, according to her, what a society run by women (free from the evils of patriarchy) would be like.

Oh boy...

Survivor Experiment: Women vs. Men

Here is what happened: initially both groups were dropped on their respective islands, given some supplies to get started and left to fend for themselves. In both groups there was some initial squabbling as people tried to figure out a local hierarchy. The men pretty much did whatever they felt was necessary... there was no leader giving orders.

Men who felt like hunting, foraging or fishing did so. Another guy decided he was fed up with sitting on sand and started making benches. Others built a hut that gradually grew and evolved. Another guy cooked every night. Within days a neat little civilization was thriving, each day being slightly more prosperous than the previous one.

The women...

They settled into a routine as well. The hung up a clothesline to dry their towels, then proceeded to sunbathe and squabble. Because unlike men, women were unable to do anything without consensus of the whole group. And because it was a group of at least a dozen women, consensus was never reached. During the next few episodes, the women ate all their initial supplies, got drenched by tropical storms several times, were eaten alive by sand fleas and were generally miserable. The men on the other hand, were quite content. There were disagreements of course, but they were generally resolved.

Eventually, the people running the program decided something had to change. In order to help the women out, three men would be selected to go to their island!!!

In return, three women would take their place at the men’s island.

Initially, the three men selected for the women’s island were ecstatic, for obvious reason. But then they arrived at the island and were greeted by the women.

"Where is your hut?", they asked.

"We have no hut"

"Where are your supplies?" they asked, dismayed

"We ate all the rice"

And so on. The three men ended up working like dogs, using all the skills developed by trial and error in their first few weeks – building a hut, fish, trying to get the women to forage...

The women...

They continued to bitch and sunbathe. The three women who were sent to the men’s island were delighted. Food, shelter and plenty of male attention was freely available. They too continued to sunbathe.

And that my friends, is what patriarchy is!!!

Feminist Camille Paglia once said "If women ran society, we'd still be living in mud huts."

I always thought that was a little harsh, but Survivor US, UK and Dutch, the SAME thing happened.

That particular season of Dutch Survivor is not unique. CBS broadcast several Survivor seasons in the US, where men and women started off in separate groups. In most cases (the Amazon and One World), the result was the same. The men quickly got their act together, getting access to food, fire and shelter while the women spent a lot of time and energy on petty little squabbles, eating their meager supplies, getting drenched in storms and generally being pathetic. The opposite situation, where men didn’t get their act together while women quickly built a functional micro society, has not yet been observed outside of feminist fiction, and it probably never will. Ha!

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

Women have been expanding to not need or rely on men for economic support.

If you feel uncomfortable with this concept, remember that there's a difference between "I don't need no man." And "I don't want no man." If a woman doesn't need you, then you know she is with you because she WANTS you. This is a problem men tend to run into. We feel like we have to be needed or required, or else we feel she will abandon us or otherwise have no reason to be there.

The traditional idea is that a man would lead a life and a woman would follow as if to be an unnecessary sidekick. But in actuality, as long as men have to keep everyone at arms' length, they often have to rely on the women in their lives for things like emotional intimacy, support, and close companionship.

A lot of this is funneled through sexuality, so it can feel like emotional intimacy is either sexual or distant. Something they take note of in a brothel in Australia, where their members are encouraged or paid to take psychology courses, because they often play therapist to men who were unable to express these things outside of a sexual context. Also highlighted in several points in Game of Thrones, and why I think society might benefit from legalized prostitution that is organized and regulated.

But yeah, I think women currently live generally freer lives in many ways. More freedom in clothing, freer in range of personal expression, often a healthier work/life balance, and are less defined by their careers. But mostly it has been a collection of tradeoffs, there's just been extra emphasis lately on freeing women and not really analyzing the situation with men.

In terms of the rise in basement-dwellers, I'd be interested to see how it compares by gender. Historically, girls often lived with their parents until they married, while men had to leave the house and get a job before even thinking about marriage. So it could just be evening out between men and women.

But also the rise is from economic constraint.

And when it's from things like emotional fragility or failure to launch, it is probably coming from the fact that with our focus on raising girls to have more options or to be workers, we kinda assumed boys would need to be raised the same, and forgot that boys and men have slightly different developmental needs.

Things like clear signifiers of reaching manhood which helps alleviate insecurities we often mock as "fragile masculinity".

Things like extra emphasis on helping them socialize and connect with others.

Or one psychologists noted the gendered difference in motivation between "would you please..." and "bet you can't..."

If we can get a better grip on the different needs, I think that would help men grow up more confident and more "free".

Bethany22 · Answer

Yes, you're right. Women who do channel their energy and become successful still gain much less satisfaction and emotional fulfilment from their jobs than men do. It seems that men actually feel a sense of fulfillment from their work.

Apple1996 · Answer

Nah there are lots of studies proving that women are far happier on their own without men so just on that I'd say women are better off alone without men.

And I don't know why think women are miserable if they don't have a partner. I've never met any single older woman that seemed unhappy. It's always the older single guys that seem lonely/unhappy.

Obviously in society tho we both benefit from each other just not in a relationship sense.

BlueScorpio · Answer

We need each other, men build societies but women birth societies.. that's how it works, that's how it's always worked throughout human existance and history.

Summeroflove · Answer

Honestly I think it’s the same amount. I mean we NEED men and women to even be alive. Just being honest.  Most people want love and companionship and for many it’s definitely a need as well.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I would say I need a guy if I love him and if I’m not in love, then I can depend on family so I do not need a guy.

Avicenna · Answer

It depends how society is structured. In Western countries today, a minority „need“ each other and it shows.

xJeremyx · Answer

Men and women were created for each other.

Men need women, as women are often home-makers and caretakers. Women are a primary source of emotional support for their men (lets face it, men do not express emotions as well as women). A woman gives a man a sense of purpose. A man needs a woman to share his burdens with, when he cannot carry them alone. And also, a woman eases her man's loneliness. She advises him on important life decisions and is the best cheerleader a man will ever have.

Women also need men. Men offer their women security and protection. Men are the ones keeping society running by working the garbage disposal, keeping the grid up, keeping our cars filled with gas, and building our houses. A woman needs a man to share her burdens with, when she cannot carry them alone. A man makes his woman feel comfortable, safe, and loved.

Men may be the head of the family, and women are the neck. A head needs a neck to connect it to the body, and a neck needs a head to function. A body will die without a neck, and a body will die without a head.

Women and men need each other very much, for different things, I would say. Its not a contest. Life for a man is good when he has a good dependable woman, and life for a woman is good when she has a good dependable man.

ManOnFire · Answer

What I can say is that women seem less often to know how to create their own happiness. There's a saying that goes something like: if you can't be happy with yourself then you won't be happy with anyone else. And I think that's true. An enormous number of women seem to be plagued with inner emptiness and are always desperately craving constant changes, whether it's getting a new man, new house, or going on a trip. Instead of making the changes on the inside, which will quell the need for perpetual external changes, and create more contentment.

A lot of these women are faking their happiness or even living fake lives on social media, wanting to show all the places they're traveling to, having smiles on their faces, excessive selfies, making it a point to let us know they have a social life, etc. But they're still unhappy with themselves and unhappy about being single.

But yes, I too seem to see a lot of women living in a constant Ho state, even the ones who are substantially older than me. And I think it's because of the inner emptiness I described, and also a refusal in them to resolve and heal from whatever has happened to them in their pasts i. e. thinking there are no good men left because a guy did her wrong 10 years ago, or because she even keeps choosing the wrong guys.

Anonymous · Answer

Men have enabled women to do what they are doing.

We invented the radio, TV, mass media and internet to give feminists a platform to bitch on
Sympathetic men supported early feminism (which had some good points at the time) because they actually cared. Feminism would of never made it if it wasn’t for men.
Men created advanced technology that allows many people to make a good living without needing heavy labor.
Men promoted and advertised the woman’s body via marketing and later pornography. Early feminists were against this but now many support it. Many porn studios are now owned by women of all things.
Most men have a hard time turning down easy sex. Especially if their options are limited.
Female sexuality is more fluid. A woman can fool around with other woman and revert back to straight easily. They have more options to get their needs taken care of

Men inadvertently shot ourselves in the foot for better or worse by supporting “alternative” women in the early stages.

Nomina · Answer

I think part of the modern look on relationships really dispelled the fact that men and women just need each other but for different reasons. It's not a matter of who needs whom the most. To me, that entails some kind of competition or rivalry or desire for one upping the other. And I think that's sad.

It may or may not be the case, but when I see things like that, it seems like it would breed a sense of competition in the world of relationships (not with the people you may compete with to get someone but with the person you want to get), which is unnecessary.

I also think it would lead people to overestimate their worth.

Finally, I think it doesn't take into account individuality. It's just focused on the umbrella "woman/man", as opposed to "this woman/that man that I'm dealing with". Does that make sense?

Oigit · Answer

No and the idea of a man needing a woman or a woman needing a man is from a time long past. Sure when the majority of us where living in a small village or outside of it and we still needed to farm and hunt for food, we needed each other. But for a long time a person being completely self sufficient and not needing someone else has very much been achievable. Over time it has also become much more easier to accomplish.

Also the idea of needing a man or woman and a relationship being pushed onto people can create some issues. Because people can become so fixated on it that it can cause them to not become self sufficient and never develop the skills to be self sufficient.

DoctorSex · Answer

Chess:

The Queen is the most powerful piece in the game of chess. She looks at herself as better than every other piece, and if you watch what she is able to do, you may have to confess that she is.

She BELIEVES she has supreme power and she does, a queen in chess is worth 11 points I believe, more than any other piece.

Yet who designed the game of chess and ascribed her that value? Answer: A man.

[This life is spiritual, not physical]

When the game of chess is stopped, or there is no men who wish to play that game, then the queen no longer holds the title of queen, she returns to what she infact is, just a 4 inch block of crafted wood with no super powers at all.

The only power she truly has is in the minds of the men who wish to play the game of chess and in their use of her.

That's why married women who know how to work with men and be used by them are truly the most powerful and valuable women.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

sassy_receptor · Answer

as most of the women have already said, men need women more than the other way around. that’s extremely evident when statistically women’s quality of life and happiness declines in a relationship with a male and a male’s quality of life and happiness increases in a relationship with a woman. men often weigh women down, mainly because most of them are grown man babies who are super codependent and who are unwilling to do anything for themselves. women are more independent and can find happiness in their social and career circles and be just fine. if she wants kids she could adopt or go to a spermbank. if men want kids they can try to adopt but have a higher chance of being rejected. women can have that model dream life without a man involved easily.

fbk94 · Answer

In many ways, we can say yes to this issue. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you could comment on my question.   #Reigner

DermalPunch · Answer

Men need women far more than men need women. Eve came from Adam's uppermost rib. The rib that protects the vital organs. When his rib is gone a vital part of him is missing.

The woman -- the rib -- is missing the protection when she is separated from her man but she is still whole if that makes any sense.

Between individuals one partner may be more in need of the other.

Now, do you think about your ribcage and pay attention to it? Probably not. But if it were aching you, or you were experiencing pain; or worse gone, you would not be well.

So this is why men can easily take women for granted because if we are there and silent everything in his mind is good. But when we start causing pain or worse leave it's a BIG BIG problem.

wittymilf · Answer

Why not just let women live their lives, why must people need each other. Want each other, enjoy each, but don’t be the dead weight of need. I don’t need a man and I don’t want a man who needs me. We are adults it’s ok for both men and women to act as such.

JDavid25 · Answer

I think we both equally still need each other.. Without women humanity wouldn't exist and men wouldn't have the motivation to build and take on the elements.. Without men, the world wouldn't progress the way it did.. The powerful ambition and drive of mem to be conquerors and builders wouldn't be around..

shaysh87 · Answer

men need women more than women need men. its a fact.

take a look at dating apps, its filled with desperate men who outnumber women BY FAR.

women can start a family without a husband. Men can't start a family without a wife / girlfriend.

Subarugirl · Answer

Depends what for? Id rather stay single than settle. Statistics show that single childless women are happier and more successful than their married counterparts. Ironically enough it's the opposite for men. Married men are happier, healthier and live longer on average than their single counterparts.

hahahmm · Answer

It's women who play the victim so often so there's your answer right there. I also wrote

Do women need men more than men need woman?

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