Who do you think is more depressed, men or women?

[Simslover92]

I think men are more depressed and it often goes overlooked because men are taught to be strong. They get to a point where everything becomes overwhelming and eventually snap either by committing suicide or committing a crime that lands them in a mental institution or jail. I see more men in the mental institution I work at than women which is just sad.

I wish that society would look after men more when it comes to mental health, but of course it won't happen because women are viewed as the weaker sex and so therefore are seen as needed to be looked after more which is a problem.

Guys have feelings too and need to be supported just as much if not more because they're feelings often go unchecked if they are not seeing a therapist which many don't because they are taught to hold everything in. Women need to check in with their guy and make sure he is doing okay. Women may be depressed but he may be even more depressed for having to hold it in all the time where we can just often express how we feel openly.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I agree that men are pressured to be strong but unlike your diagnosis, I don't think the problem is that men are pressured to be strong.

I think the problem is that men aren't taught to be strong anymore to rise to the pressure. This was my problem being raised by a single mother. This is a problem we can statistically say is multiplied by single motherhood in ways independent of other variables like poverty.

I'm still learning how to be strong absent a father figure most of my life. I'm at least a nerd with a hunger for knowledge to learn ideas like Stoicism, Buddhism, CBT, Logotherapy, etc. But I'm still learning in the absence of a father figure.

Women want to encourage me as I see to be all mushy like a woman, like if I don't cry every single day, I'm a broken woman. At my politest way, I would say women are broken a lot too and trying to turn me into one complete with my muscles and testosterone is probably a horrible idea.

I need a lot of history and a lot of philosophy and a lot of psychology. And I am tired of feminists taking on the armchair quarterback equivalent of armchair psychologists diagnosing men. A lot of us need something for sure, but you can't diagnose us like something is wrong because we're not like women.

[Simslover92]

I definitely see your point. And I'm definitely not a feminist lol

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Apologies if I said that too harshly. I can see you're coming from such a kind place! But I think the societal pressure for men to be strong is inevitable.

And largely women make that inevitable; as long as a woman wants to feel safe and protected around a man, he has to be stronger than her at least mentally. He can't be more afraid than she is to walk the streets at night even if statistically men are more likely to be killed doing so.

So let's teach men how to be strong in a healthy way. That's the way I see it. That's more productive than expecting men to turn into a mush all the time. Being strong can still mean being open about our thoughts and feelings. I'd argue it's not strong if someone fails to communicate and wants to close doors that others don't demand need to be closed.

But society expects us to be strong, to stand up for ourselves, and so let's encourage that. At least I think that's the way to help a boy grow into a man who really knows how to navigate society. You teach him to depend on others too much, on safe spaces and all this feminine crap, and you're creating the most helpless and hopeless man out there so insecure about his height and what other nonsense, the incel, and this is so inadvertently cruel despite coming from a kind place.

[Simslover92]

No you're fine and you're right. Men are meant to be strong and masculine but I just mean that they should be able to express themselves as openly as women do. Not be like women but be allowed to express their emotions from time to time. Not keep all that in all the time. It's quite unhealthy.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I would like true Stoicism as the cure for that, not the vernacular. Like this:



I think spilling our emotions all the time doesn't necessarily heal that much either. You find that broken-hearted friend who can never stop being broken-hearted about a lover. They aren't healing because they aren't changing their minds on the subject.

The reserved one doesn't speak enough to change their minds on a subject because they don't talk enough to see their opinions challenged. But the one who wears their hearts on their sleeves and still doesn't heal might be even more at fault because they don't change their minds despite a myriad of contradictory opinions.

The healthiest mindset as I see it is towards constant self-change and self-growth.

[Simslover92]

True. I guess you're right on that front. I just wish society would not ignore that men have deep mental health issues that go unresolved and turn into either them successfully offing themselves or going into a mental institution or jail.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

My solution is self-defense, philosophy, Stoicism! For not just men but also women as well. Since women attempt to commit suicide at 3x the rate of men to my understanding, but men are just way better at succeeding. 😁

I like this way too that you encourage. It's like a societal change to create a more hospitable environment. That's something I've noted expresses itself in the way we raise children.

When a stereotypical father notices he has a bully victim of a child, he doesn't try to change society. He teaches the child how to stand up for themselves, throw a punch, maybe with a bias towards sons which I think is wrong today but he's trying to teach them to fend for themselves.

When a stereotypical mother notices the same thing, she calls PTA meetings, maybe joins in anti-bullying protests, and there's a nobility there but how's her child supposed to navigate the adult world which will always have some bullies here and there when she is away, incapacitated, or dead? She has not prepared her child for this.

So I'm a big fan of the "paternal" way in this respect. Because it prepares a child to fend for themselves without their parents. The world is messed up. Let's not "victim-blame" but let's "victim-help". Strength. The world presents a lot of illusions of safety that I think a lot of women take for granted more than a lot of men.

So let's teach strength. But I would like to teach it to both sexes.

[Simslover92]

Very true. Let's definitely teach it to both sexes.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think that's the closest to the ideal society we can live in is that we both know how to be strong. Including how to open up to each other, to negotiate, to compromise, to listen, like a strong leader. We're in this ship together. It sinks or floats based on our ability to work together.

Apologies for the ramble. But this is what I think we need. And I see a lot of what I consider "feminine" types (not necessarily even women) to be softer than the real-world actually is: participation medals, bonus points for effort absent merit (try expecting a promotion with that), safe spaces, you know.

Lots of "let's protect people from the world as it is and hope the world catches up" mentality, and the world doesn't catch up fast enough until the people we're trying to protect so much become adults. And I think that's what makes depressed and confused and nihilistic adults more than anything. They haven't been prepared for the harshness of reality because everyone tried to soften the blow of reality so much that they fly 100 feet backwards when struck by the blow and see their ribs caged in since they never took a real punch before.

[Simslover92]

No need to apologize. I definitely agree with you on that.

[Drew-1990]

I think women show it more and seem more depressed but I think men are. We hide it so much better which is honestly not the best thing. Men have a higher suicide rate. There are a lot of men you would never in a million years guess are depressed tell it's too late.

[Simslover92]

My thoughts exactly.

[Drew-1990]

It's the honest sad truth

[RavVid]

General happiness has been polled for quite a long time and women used to come out being happier than men until relatively recently and are now unhappier than men. This seems to correlate with how women's lives match what feminism tells them it should be. Higher correlations match higher happiness.

Depression seems to be more a female complaint than a male complaint as the former have a higher incidence. Women seem to be more prone to jealousy at another woman's success than men are of another man's success.

My source for the above is YT Aydin Paladin, a statistical sociologist who examines scads of peer viewed papers for her videos. Not citing her as an authority but just saying where I took info from. I could go to those papers if I had reason enough.

I think you are right that women's advocacy groups would prefer to not leave a cent behind for men's mental health. if it was general funding for mental health then women would still get preferential selection over men because they are poor wounded birds.

But I don't think it is that simple.

Therapy has been talking since Freud. it might suit women as that is what they do with each other and therapy has evolved to suit women. It is doubtful that talking therapy suits men. Another YT pyschologist Pysc Hacks makes this point and claims to be one of the few pyschs that specializes in men.

I have experience with this as a client. Where I am, we get free counseling if we are assaulted (as I was). The female pyschologist didn't want to do any talking and was very action oriented. Worked (imperfectly) for me. I referred a female friend to her and it seems she does more talk therapy with females and targets the genders differently. Good for her.

At times I of course experience events that upset me - that is life. I will say to that female friend that I am pissed off to warn that I am not going to great company this time. She will want me to talk about it. I refuse because, to do so, is like picking at a scab - it is just going to make things worse not better. For me, it is best if I do tasks and achieve.

There is ample evidence of gender differences in mental heath. Schizophrenia is more common in men than women for example. There is also gender bias in research and treatment.

Mostly where I am disagreeing with you is that gyno centric views and treatment are not necessarily pertinent to men, which is kinda making your point again from the backhand.

If highly respected bodies such as ADAA & APA are saying masculinity is a mental illness then it is not going to change anytime soon.

Thank you for caring!

[TonyMetal___86]

What you said is true about men but thank god i'm somewhat different, i never hold my problems in my mind or keep it a secret, i talk more than women and nobody dares to tell me that i'm weak 😏

Also i'm thankful because my entourage always listens to me and they try to help as much as they can, i'm teaching men how to become like me but as you said, the society gives a lot more importance to women than men, a lot of men comes to me to open up about their problems but in the end i'm not a society, even women are oppressed in a way or another because many women also come to me to open up about their problems and when i asked them about why they come to me and not going to where they can get help from their societies, i was shocked when they told me that i'm their society and if it's not me who's going to listen and they will never open up their hearts to anyone else!

I believe that the majority of societies are corrupted, no one wants the best for men and women, they work depending on their agendas only!

You see if women had the will and power of a man than women in today's society will be committing a lot more suicide than men, women in their nature are more suicidal than men, studies have showed that the number of women who tried committing suicide are a lot more than men but they men who are suicidal are more successful in doing it because they use more lethal ways...

A simple calculation, men in today's society especially in western countries are being treated like sh*t because of feminism, women are getting an ultimate boost, looked after and get help from everywhere, YET with all these, they maintain the highest number of unsuccessful suicides, what if they were treated like men 🤔 will they go extinct by then 🤣🤣

This shows that men and women aren't happy and the societies works only for it's own benefits, while men are the most who's going to be hurt and suffer!

[molonski2]

I'd say 100% these days its men , I think if we go right back to 70/80s it was women , probably mostly out of boredom , women are more likely to attempt suicide , but men are far far more likely to succeed , I think that's a vital stat.

Just thinking , we have all been touched by suicide , I think I know of 4 men all succeeded , I know of zero women. That's the stat to override all stats with regard to depression.

Doesn't help that in the USA 80% think taking anti depressants is okay , happy pills do not work are massively over prescribed and provide no solution to anything.

[Simslover92]

I definitely agree they don't!

[CriticalCatDad123]

Men are depressed because they’re demonized by our current gynocentric social order.


Women are depressed because of feminism but we can’t admit that because feminism is all about “EQUALITY” 🤣

[Simslover92]

I agree 1000%. The whole "equality" mantra is bs. A hypnotic, brain washing tactic to get the masses to avoid or not even think about what's going on with men's rights and totally focus on what's going on with women's rights. Depression and suicide is at an all time high in men because they are neglecting men's mental health and totally focusing on the woman's mental health just because we are the weaker sex and should therefore be tended to more which is insane. Our young men are losing their minds with the state of masculinity and have become lost because of it. It's just sad.

[CriticalCatDad123]

No one cares about men because women make babies, or more accurately women play god and decide whether a baby should live or die…

[Simslover92]

That's true. Women do play God and decide whether a baby should be born or not. But I do think there are some who care. I know I do. I am not for abortion at all and if it was up to me would ban it except in cases where it must be done like medical conditions or rape. But I think the people who do care about men's rights are getting overshadowed by all the people advocating for women's rights so it would appear that no one cares. But there are lots of men tired of dealing with women's bullshit. They just aren't brave enough to come out like you and state the issues on here and beyond here.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I know, and even feminists are still having kids and teaching those kids to hate men in the name of equality. And I’m sure there are women who are having kids and doing the opposite too. In some instances it might even be the dad who is the feminist.

Also, I’m not advocating anymore, remember?

[Simslover92]

That's a horrible reality if the dads are the feminist. But yeah I remember. I was just saying they aren't brave enough to come out like you were doing.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Yeah, and I wouldn’t consider it brave I’d consider it stupid but necessary

[Simslover92]

Well I certainly don't think it's stupid but I do agree with you that it's necessary.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I only say it’s stupid instead of brave because, like you said, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. 🤷🏻‍♂️ Either way unless someone already agrees with you you’re not changing any minds

[CriticalCatDad123]

You probably have a better chance at changing some minds than I would though.

[Simslover92]

I don't know about that. I'm looking at the comments and I see it's that it's like talking to brainwashed people. They are so lost in women's rights that they don't see any other way.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I guess the only way to get through to those people are to get them to think about things during their daily life and eventually they’ll come to a realization and start advocating alongside us eventually… still a long shot though but it’s the best we can hope for

[Simslover92]

Yes it's certainly a long shot but it's worth giving it a shot.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Well, good luck. What topic do you plan on doing next? I recommend toxic masculinity. That’s the topic that got me to quit advocating

[Simslover92]

Ok I will try to come up with a question on that tomorrow.

[CriticalCatDad123]

How much do you know about that topic?

[Simslover92]

I will admit I will have to look at some videos on it because I don't know much about it. I've heard it being tossed around on here and other places but I'm not quite sure why the phrase is used so much. Most men aren't toxic to me. I was thinking about asking do you think women can be as toxic as men or something to that affect but I'm not sure yet how I will word my question. I need to look into it more.

[CriticalCatDad123]

They claim Masculinity isn’t inherently toxic. That there are toxic versions though, ie “boys don’t cry”, “men must be stoic”, “don’t be vulnerable around your girlfriend”, “being a light weight is weak” which makes it extremely difficult to argue against. Because at the same time it’s causing people to view men in general as toxic to not just other men but everyone and that getting men to embrace their feminine side is better for their mental health.

[CriticalCatDad123]

There’s a video I just found called “The insidious ‘toxic masculinity’ myth is damaging humanity” on the Thoughty2 channel

[Simslover92]

So basically toxic masculinity is where a man is portraying himself to be a "real man"? Or trying to be a "real man" via aggression, showing no emotion, being dominate, and being chavunistic?

[Simslover92]

Ok I'll check it out!

[CriticalCatDad123]

Here’s another video about it, “you should be a monster” Jordan Peterson motivation on the wordtothewise channel

[Simslover92]

Ok I'll look at both of them!

[CriticalCatDad123]

I wish I could retain info and articulate said info in order to get people to see what I’m trying to say instead of hoping people just understand what I’m saying… because they never do

[CriticalCatDad123]

You should ask something along the lines of “If men were feminine instead of masculine would the world be a better place?” And mention toxic masculinity in the bio and say that men need to be masculinely dangerous in order to protect their families and loved ones.

[CriticalCatDad123]

As well as protect themselves of course.

[Simslover92]

Toxic masculinity is a tough topic to get across though in my opinion because lots of people don't quite understand it. I'm trying to understand it myself. I don't get the whole being masculine is toxic ideology especially when I believe being feminine is far more toxic these days. SJWs are super toxic.

[Simslover92]

Ok I can ask something to that degree.

[CriticalCatDad123]

It’s probably because femininity is considered caring and loving and masculinity is considered brutal. There’s a really good quote by Warren Farrell:
"Men’s greatest weakness is their facade of strength, and women’s greatest strength is their facade of weakness" - Warren Farrell

[CriticalCatDad123]

I always think of the bunny in Monty pythons the holy grail where it looks all innocent but it will kill you and spit out your bones. That’s women in my mind. And I can’t fear them or I’m ridiculed for doing so

[Simslover92]

That's a great quote. I may use that in the question tomorrow if that's alright.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Go for it I’m not using it I’m not advocating I guess I’m just the advisor now lol

[CriticalCatDad123]

I found that quote by looking up anti-feminist quotes. I also found a lot of man hating quotes just by looking up feminist quotes. It’s crazy no one does that on their own… the similarities between feminist quotes and misandry quotes are insane

[CriticalCatDad123]

If you’re from the US you should consider joining the app/website called Show of Hands. You could advocate there too it’s just like this app/website except it’s just for the US. It’s cool cuz it shows demographics like sex (male or female) age, political affiliation, and a map of which state you’re from so you can see where people are from but you’re using a username so no one knows your actual name @Simslover92

[Simslover92]

Ok I will do that! Thanks! And I'm not surprised by you finding man hating quotes from looking up feminist quotes. It's a shame really.

[Simslover92]

I decided to post the question and video now. I will look at the comments on it tomorrow. Goodnight!

[CriticalCatDad123]

Alright, sounds good. Good night 🙂

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't think men are more depressed... they more often hide it or brush it away... but both genders have their struggles

[Simslover92]

Both genders indeed have their struggles, but don't you think society pushes for women to be more open about their depression than men? Like I work in a mental institution and that's what the men constantly talk about. Being not able to talk about their depression and having to hide it or brush it away as you say more often which only hurts us as a society. Men should be able to be more vocal about their struggles as well.

[Simslover92]

This is why I say men are more depressed because they feel like they have to conceal their depression more often than women do because of how society has made it seem like men would be weak to not do so.

[IslaTheWitch]

They can talk about they depression. Most of them see it not manly or bothersome... but it doesn't change the fact, that even if women speak openly about depression, they still suffer because of it. Only talking doesn't change much. The therapy and often medication are needed...

[Simslover92]

That's true. I suppose both genders suffer about the same whether women talk about it more or not.

[Anonymous]

"About twice as many women as men experience depression."

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression/art-20047725#:~:text=About%20twice%20as%20many%20women,can%20occur%20at%20any%20age.

[Simslover92]

Thanks for the article. Didn't know that.

[Opinion Owner]

No problem. Thanks for caring about men' struggles though. I wish there were more women who did.

[Simslover92]

Of course. I see it too often go unnoticed in the community especially working with mental health patients where I work. I see it a lot.

[Opinion Owner]

If I may ask, in what country do you live?

[Simslover92]

USA.

[DrPepper12]

Men. Societal constraints on feelings, "rugged individualism" mystique, "therapy is for pussies", lack of strong support network, wrap their identities in all the wrong things (job, sports, etc), never developed healthy coping mechanism, failure to pursue higher, education, drowning sorrows in drugs n alcohol, need I go on? It's truly a MAJOR mental health crisis in USA. Angry young men today just want to burn it all down just to rule over the ashes.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'd say women from a body point of view lol. they wish they looked prettier or better physical things. Men, probably rarer.

[Simslover92]

Overall though men deal with more crap than women do. Sure we have to deal with our looks but that's one thing compared to what men have to deal with on the daily. Their taught to be masculine all the time, to work hard and often more than one job to support the family and if they don't their seen as weak. It's a lot of pressure on a guy don't you think?

[Apple1996]

Women because of our hormones, birth menopause. All that stuff can cause depression.

And I've know many men that reach out for help for depression and many women that hide it. Maybe just my experice tho

[strateguy632]

lady more common. post birth depression and post abortion depression.

[Apple1996]

Yep I've had postpartum depression 4 times now. And any time I've brought it up people told me to get over it and focus more on the baby/stop being selfish. It gets overlooked a lot

[Rangers]

Well, I've been in a depression for the past 5 years, and only recently fell into alcoholism

[Simslover92]

Oh wow I'm so sorry. That really sucks. I hope you can get help for it. My current step-dad who I love was heading down that road but he got better and I'm hoping the same for you.

[Rangers]

I'm not sure I want to get better, alcohol numbs the pain of knowing that I'm incapable of doing anything right, and I'm the only family member who can't be successful, no matter how hard I try

I've failed at everything I've ever tried, I've even somehow found a way to fail at getting drunk properly. I usually throw up and pass out, and wake up hallucinating, trembling, and twitching, having never felt the giddy feeling of being drunk

[Simslover92]

Once again I'm so sorry. That's rough. I wish that there was something that could be done to ease what you are going through without alcohol.

[Unit1]

Men obviously. Look at them committing suicide or turning into ladyboys.

Being male sucks if you aren't rich.

[Starrrboy]

Men can be severely depressed and suicidal yet no one has a clue.. yes , they're more depressed..

[Fabrizio6699]

Yeah I'm a man and I agree we are depressed a lot and just bottle it up which is crazy unhealthy and has had a toll on my own life

[dolemite58]

I think men are more depressed and women deal with more anxiety issues

[gorydetails]

Women. By far.

[Simslover92]

Why do you say women?

[gorydetails]

Women are more emotional. Plus they are more likely to be deeply involved with social media.

[RedInnocent69]

Men. But women show it more.

[msc545]

These days, men.

[CubaPirate]

Probably men if you look at suicide stats