What makes a 'stud' or a 'ladies man' unable to maintain one long-term relationship?

[CubsterShura]

It's kind of an unpopular opinion, but men who impress women a lot with their charms and looks and all that aren't all that impressive to me. Not that I think they are bad or anything, they know how to impress women and court them, date them, have sex with them and please them in bed, all that good stuff. But I can't help but think in my mind 'if you are so good with ladies why can't u like, just marry one woman and stay with her? Especially when many men who are rather mediocre are living happy lives with their wives and children at home?'

My ex boyfriend told me that he knew a man like that who was tall, handsome, ripped and all and women would flock towards him. And he's divorced, I couldn't help but think why is he divorced if he is that big of a deal and why can't he marry another woman then?

My ex himself was kind of (not entirely) like that. He knew how to make women feel better with words and in our nearly three years of relationship I've seen random women from his past come up to him especially when they needed his advice or comforting. On the other hand I always felt like he was extra harsh with me and even though I tried hard to accept that he does that because he takes me seriously, sometimes when I needed him to comfort me badly I still didn't get that and it made me even more depressed.

And dudes wonder why women rush towards the 'bad guys'. The difference between how the same guy treated other women vs his own girlfriend was astounding. It made me question my worth and competence many times.

Updates

+1 y

Just to clarify: Some men genuinely don't want a long-term relationship. I don't mean them, I mean ones who would like to and could marry.

[ZZed5]

it's like a game for them, which they like to play & see if they win.
p. s. Personal opinion, not sure if most would agree

[Massageman]

Putting themselves first, before any prospective mate.

[CubsterShura]

Good point!

[Massageman]

Thanks for the MHO.

[MzAsh]

Long term relationships are a skill to maintain happily and many men just don’t have what it takes. Most often the “studs” are simply too shallow and selfish to make one work anyway, so they play up the ladies man identity because it’s what gives them the instant gratification they are looking for. Meanwhile they don’t ever seem to realize or want to admit that it damages their reputation and ability to be loyal to one woman once they do ever want to settle down. You think Jay Z is loyal to Beyoncé? Hell no he’s not. He just got better at making it look like he’s settled down. Plus he’s probably packing stds. No thanks.

[NickAdy9405]

Because they feed their ego with more than one women.
Looking good as a guy and being fit, tall and rich makes him wanted by more than one girl, he notices that and he can be the coolest guy in front of his friends making them feel inferior to him.
Also most of those guys are very insecure and feel like having sex with more than one women make them feel better about their self.
Is education as well some guys don't want a relationship for no reason some have their reasons.
Some like to fuck married or taken women to boost their ego.
Is just that being wanted give them power and they do not appreciate a women the same way an average looking guy would do.

Me on the other part i always been ignored or rejected and when I finally had a girlfriend i appreciated and still apreciate her, i am nice with her, i offer her my attention, care and seriousity, i never been clingy or insecure i always understood that in this fake world looks matter and fake stuffs matter to impress fake people. I never got insecure because I were rejected, thanks god i am not some good looking man or rich man who would be surrounded by loads of fake girls who doesn't want me for what I am but they want me because of my looks or money.

[CubsterShura]

Some men turn out like this after they get divorced. Do you think they are somewhere bitter about it? Maybe they felt despaired and wanted to feel validated for all their good qualities by multiple women?

[NickAdy9405]

Not just after divorce.
Trust me most man out there if had the chance to sleep in a day with 5 different women's they would do it.
People in general not only man, do not appreciate anything anymore, life nowadays is about being rich, looking good and having succes. Sadly this is the truth

[CubsterShura]

That's definitely true. Media has made people chase different things!

[AlphaGhost]

I personally believe its his partner insecurity due to amount of attention he receives and if I am really honest collection of idea's which I will try to explain,
Relationship requires commitment and sacrifice after the Honey-moon phase but stud has capability to just move-on and jump to next one... which he does instead of investing in relationship cuz "we will love to get pussy without hassle"
The objective of playing with multiple is NOT TO HAVE COMMITED relationship with them but to play with them as long as you are sexually attracted towards them after that on to the next one BUT then you develop a taste for it AND 1 women can full-fill your NEEDS and you crave for that... lets say Options !

Its knida difficult to put the concept into words BUT why would you do all those things like commitment, love and doom yourself with 1 pussy... when you know you are better than beta trash and majority of women are plain stupid. You can always dump them with or without Primer (keeping backdoor open by giving specific reasons that will give her false hope of saving it and hence She is available if you feel like it) and go after new one... WHY WOULD STUD SETTLE WHEN THEIR OTHER WAYS WITH MINIMAL DAMAGE... WHY GIVE IT UP ALL.
NOW I am just replying to your question don't jump the gun and Pounce me over it... and as your case is concerned.
He was extra hard on yea cuz he knew you will catch feelings for him cuz every woman has inherit weakness and emotions is very potent weapon if used properly... in your case if he emotionally comforted you at that moment. It will have spoiled your friendship and you would have asked him for more... or start acting stupid around him which jealous woman do... its known as SETTING BOUNDARIES !

[CubsterShura]

Men who marry and settle down are beta? Giving your s. o. support is spoiling them?

Give me a spoiling and simping beta male then, please!

[AlphaGhost]

"You ask me why they do it and here is the answer" BUT in the end they eventually learn their lesson and stop this immaturity cuz just like woman, men are biologically engineered to provide and settle down due to LEGACY, kids and we try to make all this suffering and hardwork WORHT SOMETHING IN THE END. If you wana have kids then best way to raise them is in stable family and that requires saying NO to using women !

for the RECORD "I ain't doing none of the above mentioned shit now" and have such a perfect partner that I will probably don't deserve her. We will give everything for eachother still we don't do any stupid shit...
I never said Men that settle are Beta but I was trying to tell you what a PLAYER thinks like... AND I have learned my lesson

[CubsterShura]

Lol ok.

[msc545]

You probably should have questioned your judgment rather than your worth and competence. I have questioned my own worth many times after being involved with beautiful, seductive, intelligent, and hurtful women. I wound up swearing off all women after finally deciding that my own judgment is horribly impaired.

[CubsterShura]

I definitely think my judgment needs work. I think I trusted my ex too much with letting him represent himself.

[msc545]

I think from time to time we are all guilty of that. Don't feel bad.

[Jjpayne]

I'd say they simply want to be with as many women as they can to have many different experiences, much of those experiences involving sexual partners.

But I agree with you, charm and wit are nice but it's good to want a man that knows you and wants you for more than just your body. To find a deep connection with someone

[Chris_u006]

We have a name for people unready to settle down.
Player, which means many men not ready to settle down are players.
For some boredom is enough, for others they want more than one lady to pleasure.
Why? The way of life just is like that, deal with it or FUCK IT. If It's not possible to change destiny, then so be it!😈

[CubsterShura]

What is this destiny that you speak of? Keep in mind many fat acceptance people use this same logic to excuse remaining fat.

[TallAnon]

You tell me and perhaps I'll get a long-term relationship 😂

[CubsterShura]

If I knew I wouldn't be asking lol. Maybe bookmark this question and come back to read some good answers later?

[TallAnon]

That's the idea 😁

[Torari]

It's not an issue of not being to maintain a relationship. Chad's just are not interested in LTRs. They get enough sex without a committed relationship, and thus, devote their energy to other, more important things.

[CubsterShura]

Tbh men who are not genuinely willing to marry don't count in my question but it's an interesting thought that maybe subconsciously they don't even have the drive to pursue marriage because of the ego boost they get from pleasing a new woman every other night.

[MountAverage]

Hey, quick question. If this was a woman you're talking about, not a man, what would you have called her instead of a "stud" and a "ladies man"?

[CubsterShura]

Women typically don't do the pursuing so a perfect female equivalent of a stud is quite rare. Maybe when I come across such a woman I can find a word for them.

[MountAverage]

Haha oh you're veeeery very wrong about that. There's many women out there like that. I don't know how many women you've dated, but I've dated a lot. And I can assure you, there's many like that.

[CubsterShura]

Then you could find a term for them!

[MountAverage]

Sure I could, but I personally don't feel a need to label them one way or another. I actually wasn't sure if "stud" and "ladies man" was your male equivalent of a "slut". Because to many people it is, which of course is a disgusting double-standard. Anyway, that's why I was asking. :)

Thanks for the downvote! :P

[CubsterShura]

That downvote isn't mine. And no I wouldn't necessarily call all of them sluts but some of them can be.

[dwiller943]

The fact that they generally see women as "conquests" or "obejects" causes them to never find nor keep a loyal woman of long-term relationship value.

[bklynbadboy1]

Its like that cause they don't want a relationship their addicted to the hunt the chase

[Gedaria]

Seems a little strange. How different men and are..