Can a Guy Be the Prize in a Relationship?

Can a Guy Be the Prize in a Relationship?

First consider how different types of relationships work. In a traditional relationship, the guy PROVIDES things to the woman in exchange for loyalty/respect, her having kids. But mostly it's all being provided by him. The tangible stuff that you can put in the bank or buy property with is all on his side. In a modern relationship, the feminist says that you have to share 50/50 but we also know that even the most hardcore feminist is totally fine with getting more than she puts in so what ends up happening is that the guy actually gives more than half. Especially since she believes him giving her things is proof that he values her. It doesn't even matter if she's worth $1 billion and he's only worth $400k. She will still expect him to give her things to 'prove' something.

So in both types of relationships the guy must be the prize when it comes to ability to provide/expectation of providing. If you don't like thinking about money then you can think about physical protection aka security. When a criminal shows up at 3AM to kill/rape/loot, she ain't going to run to protect you. You're expected by tradition & society to protect her. It's not even negotiable. It just is. And ignore the women who claim they would protect their man because talk is cheap. Fact is that very, very few women die protecting their man. Lots of dudes have died protecting women. Insane numbers of dudes. How much is your life worth? If you think it's worth a lot then you're the prize. If you think it's worthless then you're not.

And this is probably why -- not counting really young & desperate dudes -- men control marriage. We decide when we get married & to who. Not women. Women control who has sex with them tho. But guess what? Sex is cheap & easy. Marriage is not so a lot of women who look hot have never gotten a ring even tho they want one.

Lastly the value of dudes increases with age usually. So does socio-economic standing. The value of women fades with age. But the other thing to understand is not every woman even starts out with the same value... and some can go up in value at some point & decline later than others. It's not all about looks either. Dudes consider her character and that's very important when it comes to the ring thing I mentioned. But meaningless if it's all just about sex.


This is NOT to say that a woman is worthless. It means that from the male POV, you should be the prize, not her. And women don't respect guys who worship them anyhow so there's no upside to you thinking otherwise.

Can a Guy Be the Prize in a Relationship?
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  • KrakenAttackin

    Women have zero clue how important men are to keeping society safe and moving.

    Like 5 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • hahahmm

      True. They think there is a magical amazon force that keeps them safe when they walk down the street but actually it's that most guys respect the rules/laws of society and give them their freedom. If they go to a 2nd world country they won't be walking down back alleys, catching the bus/taxi or jogging alone tho. It'd be like going into a zombie apocalypse unarmed for them.

    • @hahahmm. It's deeper than that, women have no idea how the lights stay on, gas at gas stations, air conditioning during their gender studies classes, roads to get to SJW rallies and police for slut walks and on, and on, and on. Women really have no clue what it takes to maintain their lifestyle and protective bubble.

    • hahahmm

      @KrakenAttackin Oh, yeah. Totally agree. If they achieve their goals of making most men soft, civilization will collapse. It's one of the reasons I'm determined to help educated dudes.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • OlderAndWiser

    1. Being worshipped makes many women feel uncomfortable.

    2. Worshipping a woman makes her strongly suspect that you are desperate and immature and, therefore, pathetic.

    3. Most women are aware of their flaws, even if they don't publicly acknowledge them, and they think that a guy who worships them is not very perceptive.

    There's nothing wrong with thinking that a woman is a prize if you are in a good relationship, because then your partner will also consider you to be a prize just as much.

    LikeHelpful 3 People
    • @OlderAndWiser. One of the big reasons women reject "good men" is they know they are not good enough for these men.

    • "3. Most women are aware of their flaws, even if they don't publicly acknowledge them, and they think that a guy who worships them is not very perceptive."
      And that's dumb as hell. We're not calling out her flaws because we're trying to be nice and courteous and not be a bully.
      So SHE's the one who's not perceptive enough. Lol

    • @Jamie05rhs The guy who leaves her on read or treats her poorly gets her attention. If you try to treat her respectfully she sees you as an NPC. See this for example,

      All the dumb male simps just repeat some variation of her being perfect/queen. She ignores them because their just boring robots in the background.

      The one guy that calls her out, she hones in on and notices.

    • Show All
  • RomanticRealist

    I have a few issues with this first:

    1. First, everyone provides things in a traditional relationship and they always have. Men have traditionally provided financial resources and security, yes. Women don't merely give loyalty and respect. Women often invest a shit ton of emotional labor in relationships, especially as most men aren't really encouraged to develop in specific ways and don't have many opportunities to learn or practice vulnerability, introspection in terms of their psychological development, etc. Men often explore emotional development through relationships with women. And "having kids" is mentioned here as if that isn't providing a TON of unpaid physical and domestic labor. Women are providing a lot of things in traditional relationships, not just men. But yes, men traditionally provide money and security.

    2. You're completely divorced from reality. Women in modern relationships typically work to bring in full-time income AND still do the vast majority of domestic labor, while also having kids and doing the same emotional labor that women have always done. I strongly disagree that men are doing "more than half" the work. Quite the opposite in my opinion. If men were expected to show up for all the other things and still had housewives to support, maybe. But they're not and they don't usually. Also we probably shouldn't be comparing in this way to begin with, but since you wanted to go there... here we are.

    3. Most men are not providing any active physical security in 2022 tbh, at least not in Western countries and middle class / upper class backgrounds. A lot of men themselves aren't equipped to fight off any criminals, though, it's true they would be expected to try first.

    4. Hitting the wall at 30 is largely a myth in Western countries, or at least in major cities. If we're talking Eastern/other regions where things are even more openly patriarchal and sexist, then yes, this mostly true. Maybe more rural regions may be different as well. At 32, I still have more options for sex and relationships than most 32 year old men. It is true that men are allowed to age, while women are judged for it, yes. At the same time, 32 year old women have the option of dating more people, arguably. There are young men who are into older women my age, men the same age who want someone age appropriate, and older men who want younger women. That's how it works in my experience anyway and what I see with many women around me. I think 30s is an interesting time as a woman because many women have kids in their 30s (I think most now) and have options across a wide range of ages. I think if there is any disadvantage in actual dating based on age for women, it probably starts in like mid-late 40s, or maybe like 50s. But even then, context matters. Here in NYC, in a place that's very career-oriented and liberal, I think older women have more options even while we have young models everywhere. It's just how it works. The cougar stereotype exists for a reason as well, lets just say that lol

    Finally, I'm not really sure what the point of this post is, but I can say one thing : No woman with self respect would ever date a guy who has the mindset of "I'm the prize, not you." I can only imagine what kind of behavior flows from that mindset, and it doesn't sound like anything I'd actually tolerate. I can think of guys I've rejected extremely early on who had attitudes I'd describe as rude and disrespectful and I somehow imagine them thinking this way. My intuition was always right about them, as several had temper tantrums when I said I think we are compatible.

    There's nothing wrong with seeing yourself as a prize, as long as you recognize that the other person is the prize as well. I think women are used to putting up with disrespectful behavior from men, so the "I'm the prize" mindset is aimed at uplifting and encouraging self esteem. Still, I think the mantra should exclude the "not them," as it takes on a different tone in my opinion. Also, why would you date someone you don't think is a prize in their own way? What exactly would be the point?

    Helpful 2 People
  • Rosexøxø

    I get you may be a little hurt, and I shouldn't answer starting with this because I don't know how it will appear, but eh.

    Now an additional apology for any pain or aggravation to you.

    I read this question without context and automatically said:

    no one is a prize because a prize is something handed to one person by another. No man or woman is a prize.

    Then I read further into this question.

    Now considering benefits- I think men and women can provide both.

    I agree a lot of women who struggle with general fear, would not want to die or be harmed by a physical threat.

    Personally- I would most likely discuss plans to neutralize or eliminate threats- and that would be discussed with my man. I wouldn't leave much to chance, or assume my man is immortal, so he can have a run on the carousel with some danger lol

    Technically in older times, women would help, and all members of a clan would help fight off any animal threats or natural disasters.

    I'm just saying want my man healthy and realize we both only get one of everything in this life (anatomy-wise, with the obvious exceptions). I would definitely help defend, as long as it wouldn't be a distraction to him.

    Also, a lot of stupidity between the sexes is thanks to society and celebrity figures.

    But I don't know if this counts: about the "man having to provide."

    In caveman days, I'm sure men provided something- a killed game/ a material.. something.

    Nowadays, the provisions seem extreme, and at the very least: unreciprocated/underappreciated, and I personally think: sometimes taken advantage of.

    Should guys be recognized and appreciated? Yes, but not just by the loving women figures in their lives, and men should offer that same recognition wherever applicable,

    and show appreciation to their beloved women.

    Too much complaining nowadays.

    Everyone should solve this problem individually with their own families/friends/companions- not society or trendsetters.

    Apologies again, but no person alive is a prize. Everyone is useful, beneficial, and appreciated. (In MY opinion).

    • Jamie05rhs

      That was a very well thought out and we'll written answer.

    • Rosexøxø

      @Jamie05rhs Thank you so much. I tried because I mean, it looked like a serious enough topic. <: )

    • Show All
  • Screenwriter

    "she believes him giving her things is proof that he values her. It doesn't matter if she's worth $1 billion and he's worth $400k. She expect hims to give her things to 'prove' something... and the value of women fades with age."

    In a solid relationship. partners with equal earning/money power give each other gifts because they're thoughtful, not because they're expected. And no woman who has any kind of respect for her spouse who does NOT have the same earning power, as in far less money, expects lavish gifts to prove anything about her worth.

    That sounds like a woman with self-esteem problems.

    And elder women have important roles in families and society. I know I'm of serious value to my adult son who's just making his way in work and in relationships. He talks to me about this and his work experiences and asks for input. If I had grandchildren, which I don't, I could contribute by helping to raise and instruct them.

    If ANYTHING, women who are freed from child-bearing years and responsibilities have MORE to contribute because they are not tied down by raising infants and young children as well as attending to a career.

    We can devote energy to a career full time without being guilt ridden or split. And we CHOOSE to spend time with grandchildren at OUR behest. When it's convenient. It's no longer a JOB, it's a gift to the next generation.

    My great-grandmother was a great influence in my life. I only had one grandmother and she was OK. But my great-grandmother was a wonderful person who was generous and kind to my brother and me! That's generativity and if you've had a good life you get to that point where your knowledge and experience are gifts you can offer to your children and others.

    Maybe you don't KNOW the value of older women. I know my worth. As a partner and as a parent and grandparent. I've been lucky to have great parents and great grandparents and I know my value without gifts from anyone!

    • @Screenwriter I agree with everything you said. But he's not talking about value to society. He's talking about value in a romantic relationship. It's different.

    • Screenwriter

      @Jamie05rhs I'm precisely talking about value in a romantic relationship. I mentioned the value that older women have and that is more societal.

      But an older woman brings gifts of experience to a relationship, just as an older man does. This is why few May December pairings work out. It's the experiential gaps that cause issues especially in light of marital expectations. And again social differences matter too.

      Older people want to give to causes outside of themselves because those causes and people need those who are child-free and not financially encumbered by early parenthood. This means the young and elders have energy to affect these causes. In the middle, it's more complicated.

      My worth encompasses personal, romantic and society roles. None are separate. THey all overlap.

  • TheSpaceGnome

    Thats not how real relationships work.

    People date/marry based on shared interests and looks, not based on what the other person offers them or what their social or economic status is.

    Like 1 Person
    • hahahmm

      Dating and marrying aren't the same thing at all! Go look up stats on divorce and how in 90% of cases after a divorce the woman benefits financially. Also 70% of divorces are started by women. Now according to you this is all just coincidence. It's been female nature to marry up for eons which is exactly why a lot of women today believe they're entitled to the dude with a million dollar business even tho she doesn't have a pot to piss in herself. Women aren't chasing homeless dudes.

    • A homeless dude has no opportunity to be themselves until they find a home, so thats a flawed example.

      Most men want to marry just as much as most women, marriage is just dating finalized, and everything I said before was accurate.

    • hahahmm

      Nah, the homeless guy is a great example. There's many types of homeless guys... Guys who were successful but are now down on their luck temporarily. Guys who are just losers all the time. Guys who have great ambition and might make it one day but who knows. It's the flip side of a woman being super fugly. Normal dudes don't chase that either. It doesn't matter whether she has the potential to change in 5 years or not.

      "Most men want to marry just as much as most women, marriage is just dating finalized, and everything I said before was accurate." -- If you were right then there wouldn't be a huge number of women whining about how they can't get a ring. They say that because they don't want to marry just any guy. They want to marry dudes who can lift them up in some way. And the dudes who can do that are usually aware of this and don't just marry any random woman either. So if you have zilch & are desperate for a woman, maybe you would think marrying & dating are the same thing. Guys who have any achievements at all or even just a good sense of self worth DO NOT.

    • Show All
  • RiseofArtemis

    In a traditional relationship and marriage both have equal importance, and both are equally prized. You must be a fool to think otherwise that a woman or a man is lesser.

    Modern society destroyed the natural order of women appreciating men for what they do by making women entitled and bad behaved.

    There is only one road now most western societies will go and that's downhill until women and men are traditional again.

  • Nalix

    Guys are usually the prize in a relationship. This is because both men and women are the prize for each other, at least in an ideal relationship. If one isn't, then that means that the other is dissatisfied. A man should be proud of his wife and enjoy showing her off, meaning she is the prize. A woman should be proud of her husband and enjoy showing him off, making him the prize. Men and women compete for high quality women and men, making each other the prize in the other's eyes.

  • letuswaltzforthedead

    I don't exactly agree, I think both partners are the "prize" if they're both good people. Where the value originates from is vastly different for both genders and neither should be underestimated. Women get their value from the beginning since their duty lies in birthing and raising a good society. Men's value increases later on as they're responsible for building and maintaining society.

    Either way, I love this post. I think men are being undervalued currently in society for virtually everything they do. Good post! 💛

    Like 3 People
  • BJP21

    In a modern Christian traditional sense yes; however, if you look way back before Christianity, women were looked at as equals, from Native American culture to the Vikings. Women can be just as equally as prized as men.

    • hahahmm

      In ancient times women weren't even allowed to raise boys past the age of 4. So no, those women were not considered 'equal' in the way that word is used today. Which isn't to say that there haven't always been some women who were warrior/leader types. There have been.

    • True… also ancient times when they raided villages or wars happened they killed the men and children and kept the women. Women have always had intrinsic value while men have always been sacrificed.

    • hahahmm

      @VanillaSalt My take is some men had low value. Some had high value. Same with women. Same today too but the problem today is things are getting to out of balance. People are upsetting proven ways of running societies that worked for eons and acting like they know what they're doing. in my opinion.

  • Fuentes

    Of course especially if you make a lot of money and we don't care about a women's salary status we are defenitley the prize to financial stability for a family with children with no worries, where today tons of MEN can not even provide that. So if a man has that he's the PRIZE.

  • Liasa

    You see... you cannot look down on the amount of work the other gender puts into the relationship then expect them to consider you the prize.

    Only if you acknowledge the other, the other will acknowledge you...

    As long as you try to keep putting each other down you will accomplish nothing.

    • hahahmm

      Then you women should swap duties with the men and do 100% of what traditional men do and let the guy do what you women say is so tough. Let's see how quick you find excuses not to.

    • Liasa

      You talk as if a lot of women are not already doing that, ever heard of single working mothers?

      You see... you can make a woman's life easier but so can she for you... which is why you want to be in a relationship in the first place.

      Otherwise why is your ass complaining if you dont want to be in a relationship with a woman anyway... just find something better to do.

      You're only complaining about making money because you dont enjoy your job and its not paying you well and men who are more successful than you are snatching all the better women... go do a job you enjoy don't blame women for your unsatisfactory job life.

    • hahahmm

      Very, very few single moms are doing it on their own. Most have Uncle Sam, dad, ex husband, baby's dad and five other dudes helping. Single dads never complain and do it all without help.

      And nowhere did I complain about the money I make.

    • Show All
  • HighValue

    For the majority of relationships, the man is the prize because he brings much more to the relationship than the woman does.

    Helpful 1 Person
  • AssholeNumberOne

    Some girls are so stupid they think they can get away with whatever they want cuz they're girls. It's disgusting.

    Like 1 Person
  • suzzieQ

    Sounds like you see relationship more like a transaction than an actual relationship. That doesn't exactly seem like a very healthy outlook.

    Helpful 1 Person
  • 77five

    If you're not prizes to eachother then its an unbalanced relationship.

  • Justneedtokno

    Yes. It’s better if you both are. Long term your always building and finding new ways to make each of you happy

    Like 1 Person
  • FilmGuy93

    Yes, definitely! I would say that both genders need to treat the other like prizes.

    Like 1 Person
  • exitseven

    My wife always says "you are a real prize "

  • Hispanic-Cool-Guy

    The answer is no. According to the Bible women (assuming she's a good one) are the prize not men.

    • suzzieQ

      According to the bible women were property...

    • @suzzieQ: That's simply not true. Slaves were considered property not women.

    • hahahmm

      @Hispanic-Cool-Guy Even outside of a slave context. "Leviticus 27 - if someone, a man or a woman, makes a special vow and they want to dedicate a person to the LORD then they pay a dedication in shekels. And here is where it seems like women are worth less. A woman, in her prime, between the age of 20 and 60 is only valued at 30 shekels. While a man of the same age is valued at 50 shekels."

      There's scriptures that talk about how a good woman is precious to her man and great to have. But don't go trying to push the idea that the bible says women are worth more than men cause it's not in there.

    • Show All
  • MountAverage

    The prize? Is that yet another ridiculous way how incels imagine relationships work?

  • Show More (11)
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