I've seen so many people especially men who hate on single moms and I really can't understand why? Yes children need both parents but this isn't always an option. Sometimes they're widows or they divorced their husband because he was abusive and it's better for children to grow up without an abusive father than with one. I think it's really a noble and impressive thing when a woman is raising her children and also doing all the work alone, it shows how brave and powerful women really are. If any single mom is reading this I love you and I respect you ❤
@milf23 Oh yeah, well why do so many women hate men? Men are all perfect aren't we? There's absolutely no reason what so ever that a woman should dislike any man.
You're in an echo-chamber of opinions toward this. Most men are not haters of suvcessful women i know that u can't name or give life experiences of men haying m hating women cause of work lol. U can't bsse a few of your own personal experiences on the entire gender of men it's so obvious you only have surface propaganda as a reactive defense
I fucking I love you women. My God I would die without you here on this Earth. I couldn't think of anything better to celebrate then A girlfriend of mine getting a kick ass career. And is happy. Controls her own future and thoughts. And doesn't have me as a jealous guy derailing her happiness. I can go on and on with instinctive honest thoughts and actions in rules and whatnot in my mind when it comes to women. Come over to my place for a good ten that talk and in a few hours from that talk will look back and see your opinion as the opposite of what you thought you just need to find the good men out there there's billions of people you really think that there aren't top shelf Moon that are looking for is top shelf life just as you guys are come on give me a break come over my house I swear to God in 10 minutes to be laughing and Under The Best Time Ever you will not think any of that shit about me holla
See this is a human thing not a man or a woman thing. We are all broken as motherfukers. And more and more people are getting mental disorders by the handful. You better get your armor on and get your information proper because all of this comes down to knowing the truth right. Well God dammit most of you are far from the truth and so stubborn you won't even take the free gift of the truth. I sleep like a baby tonight thanking God for the Holy Spirit as my leader that dwelleth in me and comforts me carries me through the hardest of times. And I'm going to heaven y'all!!!
It is tragic to understand how retarded people are and some women simply think they are immune to falling prey the deception.
Of course it's either consensual or by way of life's nuances and tortuous path. It really is about money $$$ not love, being gullible, sleeping around out of the question! Really all cases are not from audultrous outcomes. If so, that would form the grounds for loss of custody or 50:50 in court established that the woman Is of 'questionable character'. The outcome is she would be just single with limited rights on her children if the theory was being a slut.
I mean aren't you all sluts really? Has it never occurred that even touching yourselves is suggestive of its likeness?
What's being sexual got to to with being a single parent? Poor analogy and retarded rationale. For most single mothers it's because of the following reasons:
1. An arrogant ex husband who screws behind her back , is dissatisfied with what he has: an ungrateful bastard. 2. Money and financial abuse 3. Domestic violence with intent to harm. 4. Inability to cope with the responsibility of raising children and mid life crisis 5. Infidelity of either partner 6. Medical reasons / psychiatric history and terminal illness of either partner. 7. The foundation of inability to see eye to eye and make excuses to run away. 8. Mismatched views in life and temptation for both genders 9. Diet and lifestyle 10. Cultural views which all are tenets of maladaptive stubborn behavior. Where were values when. You marry or get a girlfriend pregnant?
Excuses , instant gratification and cowardice are its foundations.
11. In Southeast Asia due to dowry 12. Middle East because of patriarchy and Its associated laws. 13. Criminal conduct of either partner which leads to complete loss of custody. 14. Traffic violations and DUI are counter too.
The list goes on sit and dream where you can go wrong as a single its amplified as a single parent ten fold.
Woah, they already get Welfare so you don't need to do that! If that was the case also, maybe that will give me an incentive to have children just because of the benefits financial and otherwise haha!
@SueAnon84 Ehhh more of the money comes from child support. Social safety nets, or "welfare" as Americans call it for some reason, are nowhere near enough to conceivably incentivize giving birth to and raising more children lol
I’m not a single mom but I have respect for them and the men who date them. I also have a high respect for men like you who truly get it. Not many around here do. Thank you so much for your presence here. 🖤
❤ you don't need to thank me for doing the right thing, but girls like you who support me are the reason I keep doing what I do even with all the haters around
He is not a man, he is a 14 year old child, when he joined the site he was a hardcore christian, now he has changed ideas, soon he will change again. he is not even an adult yet.
You know it’s funny. Some people have the audacity to cry about how I’m never nice or complimenting to men, but the times that I am, this is the shit that happens.
It isn't about "hating" single moms, it's about avoiding them. Why?
1.) Normal women don't get dumped -- therefore there's a chance she either has cheating tendencies [and don't expect her to admit that she got divorced for riding some Tyrone behind her ex-husband's back], is mentally unstable etc. 2.) By getting with a single mom, you're not creating a family -- you're joining a family and you don't have the same rights (yet have fully the same obligations and expectations) as a real father. 3.) A child is a constant reminder of other men in that woman's life. Obviously I don't expect to be some holy virgin, but at the same time a constant walking reminder is an eyesore. 4.) If a child is old enough to remember you're not his real dad, he'll treat you accordingly. 5.) You'll never be on the same level in the eyes of that woman of importance; it will be "her, her children, her mom and then maybe you" -- in that order, especially when opinion is required. 6.) If you'll have your own children with her, you are very likely to pay more attention to your own kids -- which woman will dislike and her children will dislike; and they (especially her child) can really poison your life -- or worse, life of your child. 7.) Real dad may suddenly show up and start poisoning your life. Bonus points if he was in prison, for example, therefore fuck knows what kind of connections he may have. 8.) Stemming from №2, №4 and №5, you'll be severely limited with influence over raising a child. If it will get to the point you gotta get a bit rough and scold a child, a woman is nearly guaranteed to interfere and sabotage your authority in child's eyes -- after all you aren't his father, hence you can't do plenty of things a real father can. If a child is old enough to remember you're not his dad (or simply knows you're not his dad, but doesn't remember actual dad), he can also simply ignore you or even tell you to fuck off with "you're not my dad!". Not only this will make you feel like walking ATM who dispenses money on ungrateful bitch & ungrateful child, this will permanently harm your authority as a "father figure" and "man of the house".
And plenty of other issues.
If you want to have them, go ahead, your life & your choices.
I said in the beginning: "It isn't about "hating" single moms, it's about avoiding them". I think you have a misconception that people hate them (well, perhaps they do in Egypt, I dunno), but over here they tend to be simply avoided instead of being hated.
Nadim, I want you to read this very carefully. It took time for me to gather all this.
43% of prison inmates grew up in single-parent house holds. 39% with single moms, 4% with single dads. single mother households produce a disproportionately high number of criminals. Single father homes do not. (US Bureau of Justice Statistics.)
60% of rapists and 72% of adolescent murderers grew up without a father. (Behavioral Sciences and The Law, Life Without Father, Policy Review)
63% of all youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (US Dept. of Health/Census)
Abusive Violence against children appears to be a function of poverty in mother-only homes, but unrelated to income among single fathers. (Child abuse and violence in single-parent families, Am J Orthopsychiatry.)
90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. (Dousing the Kindlers, Psychology Today)
85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes. (CDC)
85% of youths in prison grew up in fatherless homes. (Texas Department of Corrections)
Growing up in a female-headed household remained a statistical predictor of behavior problems even after adjusting for differences in family incomes. (Economic Deprivation and Early Child Development)
71% of all high school drop-outs come from fatherless homes. (National Principal's Association Report)
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.
I was raised by a single mother who is worthy of respect, that doesn't mean every bitch who got knocked up by a player because she was being a little slut and then couldn't settle her stupid ass down and find a man afterwards is equally worthy of respect.
I see too many single moms nowadays who should not even be moms, should have their kids taken from them and given to DECENT people who will actually raise the child and teach it something, like maybe how to act in public, how to have manners, how to speak properly, etc. And yet they all want to latch onto the "single mom" label as if it makes them a real hero like my mom was.
There are DAMN FEW single moms out there who aren't solely to blame for their own problems, and now their bad decisions are causing huge, massive, lifelong problems for the kids. And they want to be praised and glorified?
Nadim, I'm sorry if you never had a good father, I'm in the same boat, but I can assure you that gender has nothing to do with good or evil. The line between good and evil runs through the heart of each and every person, you cannot remove evil from your life by removing men from your life. Then you remove some good and some evil, and also keep some good and some evil.
You're a man. Be a good man. Be a good husband, be a good father. Help a good woman to be a good mother, because it's too hard for anyone to do alone.
But don't fall for this bullshit that women sell you that they're always the poor innocent victim. Women are world-class experts at sabotaging themselves, at playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes, they're like a dog that wraps it's leash around a tree and then doesn't know how to get unwound again, so it just sits there and strangles itself. A woman needs a man guiding her thoughts and actions, not the other way around.
Again, you need to stop painting things with these broad brushes. Growing up, my friend had a single mom who was a crack-whore, and lived with her for a few years before his aunt and uncle stepped in and got custody. Yep, "women" are "brave and powerful." They definitely aren't individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses.
Seriously dude, this is slimy as fuck. Stop it.
I don't have anything against single moms. That's not a deal-breaker for me at all, especially if she's got her shit together. I agree, that's an attractive quality in a person, even if (and probably because) it's not present in every woman.
What pisses me off are the ridiculous number of Tinder profiles I run across, where it's some lazy ass girl with 2-3 kids, no job, and no prospects, especially if she's overtly looking for a sugar-daddy. It's ridiculous how irresponsible and entitled some of these girls come off.
Damn dude, you're only 14. I'm sorry if I was a bit rough with you before, but you're young and dumb right now. You'll understand when you're dating and in your twenties.
Considering that statistically, most single moms made a bad decision which caused them to become a single mom, the logical conclusion would be that the negative stigma, "hate" as you call it" is earned via them not having the virtues most commonly associated with success and happiness. This would lead to an obvious perpetuating of the negative stigma by those whom keep mentioning "hate for single mothers" such as your question. The only thing to be impressed about for a single mother would be if they are a good person in general. The state of single motherhood should not change how anyone views the mother in any realistic sense. Moat men wouldn't date single mothers do to the fact that legally, if they marry this single mother whomst has a child then the mother divorces again, the man must legally pay child support despite the child not being his. This is also not including the cost of raising a child imparted to the man and mother. All of these complications go to be shown as a simple statement"It's too much trouble for everyone involved"
Because if you’re a single mom, that means you most likely have poor judgement. Stats show that women divorce a lot more often than men, so if a mother is single, chances are she divorced and broke up the family and robbed your child of having a strong male figure. There’s a chance she doesn’t value a man the way she should and there’s also a chance she doesn’t value what marriage and commitment actually entails. Also, if she wasn’t married, no one really looks up to people who have children out of wedlock.
Also, if you date a single mother, you have to deal with her ex husbands drama and the confusion that the kid will experience when he or she has two dads that are constantly colliding. You also will never be her number 1. Her kid will always be number 1, so you need to understand that you’re not going to be a priority.
i’ve known good single moms that had to leave unfortunate situations for the betterment of themselves and their kids. Fuck my best friends mom was a single mom because his dad kept cheating. That’s a legitimate reason to leave. but let’s be real... not all single moms are so noble and honorable. The majority of single moms that I’ve met in my opinion are really unpleasant women who don’t treat men right, have an extreme almost masculine sense of entitlement, and don’t value commitment or the importance of a male figure in their child’s life.
Also, abuse is really overused today. Literally anyone can frame out any altercation in a relationship to make themselves an abuse victim. I once told my ex she can’t hang out with one of her old fuck buddies anymore she’s with me, and her mom said i’m controlling and abusive for that alone. Legitimate abuse is something to take seriously, but you can make yourself out to be a victim in almost any relationship.
Sometimes it’s not the stuff that the good ones do, but the ones that are done with malicious intent.
I should know, because I was a product from it.
You see, in divorce, there’s this thing called divorce rape.
It’s where when a divorce occurs not because of a bad or abusive partner (because I know damn well my dad was a saint), but because they want to take all of the assets one of the partners have, and leave it in ruins for whatever is left; whether that means mentally breaking them to the brink of madness or destroying/using the children as metaphorical martyrs just to get what they want, but this is usually the worst cases.
As to why it makes people hate single mothers a bit more, the reason is that guys usually get the raw end of the deal, as far as I can see. Not to say that it can’t occur to women as well, but in forums that actually talk about these things there’s a pretty clear gender ratio.
Usually guys are seen to be more aggressive and more likely to be the ones who are abusive, even though honestly this stereotype is just going to be detrimental. We often get stereotyped in mental health and in abusive relations, where society (despite all odds) pretty much made us try to believe that us men don’t have mental issues nor abuse issues.
If a guy tries to divorce/leave somebody because of an abusive partner (which sometimes even leads to calling an abuse hotline, which the following case occurs), they’re often told to “man up” and take it or that they’re lying.
I hate to be pointing the finger at women, but the statistics are there, and I’m not going to stay silent when I was given hell because of the fucked up consequences this can have.
As to my story; well, it’s not a happy one, I can guarantee you that.
Back before it happened, there was arguments between them about some stuff, but even then it was pretty clear how much dad was on the defending end. When mom made snide remarks about me in her car on the way to work, my dad defended me. It even continued when they got home, and every step of the way my dad was defending me.
Especially when her anger turned on me instead of my dad.
We both suffered from it, and we both comforted each other through it. We understood.
Time passes to December 23rd, 2017. My dad got kicked out of the house because of a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) about my father owning a gun, which was later revealed to be fabricated from lies that was confirmed by my mom and her parents. Even when the safe was cracked open, there was no evidence that proved it, and all of a sudden the facade started to crack. I started to put the pieces together myself.
Later on when I got to see dad again, I visited him and then came back to where the drop off point was. Immediately after, when I got into my mom’s car, the doors locked and I was immediately drilled for information about dad.
You see, he was pretty much kicked out with only the clothes on his back and his car. My mom emptied their joint accounts and froze the rest that dad had (this was later proved with bank statements) so dad was left without financial support. He went to crash at his brother’s apartment until he could get back on his feet.
And once I saw him again, I soon learned that hell was about to occur.
Without my dad as a buffer, I felt the abuse full force. I was always getting ganged up on by my mom and her parents for every single little wrong thing I did. No matter; if I fucking sneezed, I “started” an argument, just so they could have an excuse to drill into me about every single thing that I know about my dad.
If I refused, either they would drag my siblings down from the family bedroom and make them witness it to traumatize them, or would threaten to take away any communications I had so I couldn’t find anybody to help me.
And if I was still defiant, physical threats would be made. Ranging from smacks to the metal end of a belt, to even some broken objects, they would be used for a threat. I never went any further than that because I knew very well that they could blame it on me if I tried any self defense.
For 8 months, the worst experience of my life happened. Threats like these became the norm. It could happen as soon as I came home or after my mom barges into my room in the dead of night. It became so bad that I had a knife next to my bed and that I couldn’t sleep. It became apparent at school that I wasn’t getting enough sleep, but they didn’t think anything of it.
My depression from before the divorce got worse. It started with even more self hating thoughts. Then self harm. Then suicidal thoughts. I wanted an end to it. I wanted some sort of freedom from the immense pain I went through. I tried to commit suicide a few times, but it didn’t work.
I even called CPS for help, but to no avail.
Near the end, I sent a letter to the person who is supposed to look out for the children’s best interests during the divorce. Nothing came from it. I tried sending it to the judge. Nothing. I even wanted to go to the divorce trial, but I was afraid to leave because I knew that my grandparents were watching me like a hawk.
I had hoped things would go my way, but my mom won custody, and a lot of dad’s assets. Not the house, but enough that she should be stacked. And to my horror, I later learned that the college fund my dad had been saving up for me had been completely drained by my mother.
However, it was sort of a Pyrrhic victory. They left me alone after that. They got what they needed. They could care less if I died in a ditch.
Comeuppance struck later when my mom got cancer, so I don’t need to worry about her being an abusive prick. Still is the same personality wise, though.
You see, I wouldn’t be saying this if I hadn’t experienced and learned the brunt of it. I’d be saying that this is ridiculous. But the fact that I can say that this occurred is more than enough to say that I can understand where some are coming from.
I mean, some reasons why people hate single mothers can be from misogyny or some sort of sexist bias (I will admit they’re not all winners), but this is sort of my lense that makes me understand why some people hate single moms. Hell, this event traumatized my dad so much that he’s afraid of opening up to people and getting attached.
The biggest part of the situation is having to put up with the drama of the baby daddy being a jealous asshole that will do anything to make the mom miserable even at the demise of the kid and an awesome future with a guy that actually cared. And the fact that for some reason the single guy that doesn't have any kids that chooses to date the single mom "knows nothing about raising a kid" so they don't have a say in how the kids is raised or how to be disciplined for they way they act. Taking this feature away from the guy you are dating that isn't the father that actually chose to stick around and be there for you and the kid, will also derail his interest in you for the same reason that the other guys out there won't even look your way. Just because it's your problem doesn't mean you have the only solution so you are better off taking the advice from someone on the outside, than not taking the helping hand while sitting in the mud trying to figure out how to get assistance yourself. Most will admit that they chose the wrong guy but would never take back having their kid, so it has nothing to do with the fact that they are a single mother, making it more of a problem with the resentment of men in general. However, and I'm just saying, you don't see Christian guys hating women in general because of Eve and the serpent although both instances can be classified as learned hatreds. Therefore, this issue falls back to single mothers not being ready to accept the help of single guys that actually show interest in them or their kid (s), to the extent that they may even give up their opportunity to have any kids of their own. Which, in my opinion, is the most selfless and honorably humbling trait that anyone could possess, to give up any hopes or dreams of what they could produce to give way to that which already exist and will never truly be their own. So in the simple words of Phil Collins, "Oh, think twice."
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Yes because you're only looking at one side of the coin. That single mother with the abusive husband most likely was abusive from the get go. But she stayed with him " because she loved him" lol then she had a kid. Somewhere along the line her stupid ass finally wised up and said. Hmmm you know what? Maybe this isn't the best enviroment to raise a child. Kudos to her for finally using her brain. But i'm not going to congratulate her for FINALLY getting her act together. And not to mention that many of those single mothers you talk about have multiple children from multiple guys. Which means not only did they make a mistake. But they didn't learn from it and continued to make the same mistake again and again. And since she's a single mother guess who ends up footing the bill for them kids because she can't raise them on her own... that's right the taxpayer, ME!
Considering i'm paying for them i do think i've at least earned the right to have an opinion on them. Believe me, many are getting much less hate then they've earned.
Sounds like you need to take a breath and relax. Hating people who have no effect on your life for doing things that you don't approve of is just pointless and just shows the type of person that you are, not them.
@Suzuki96 You should learn to read closer. At no point in my post did i say i hate them. Just that other men's hate is justified and for a myriad of reasons ( i listed some) i didn't say all single mother's either. If you were comprehending you would have caughr that. But thanks for making assumptions :)
Your statement which ends "it isn't always an option". There is significant evidence that many MANY women go into relationships with that knowledge looking for free housing, green cards and child support money with little desire to raise a kid or select it's father as a life partner. They may spend years "going along for the ride" faking being a good girlfriend whikst trying to conceive. With the addition of charities for displaced families (find me a single parent family with a male head that still gets assistance from a family support charity... You won't because branding and feminism means they are mostly called "women's charities") a young under 20 can get a home deposit, a few thousand in handouts and suck off the teat of the kids father for the next 18 years then moan about how poor daddy made the kids by leaving (even though she was even scalping off state child payments and they were still more than enough never mind support from dad). Afterwards the law is so biased that if a man doesn't do what a woman says they can be forced into court just to see thier kid (costing thousands), even if he keeps up with his payments. She can get a restraining order for practically anything (an argument can allow it for example under "harrassment") In other words if you don't have a moral compass and your thing goes in rather than out it's a great place to start a career.
Because people are fucking hypocrites and have a problem with women who victimize themselves by choosing to stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of kids but they also have a problem with women who end up leaving their men as well. Because people are hypocrites calling the Eastern culture backwards because people don't want to divorce no matter what once they have kids but also they gonna proceed to tell why they don't date single women.
People are judgmental and hypocritical. It doesn't go through their head that shit can happen even after having kids.
Yes! I want so badly to become a single mother. It suits me perfectly. Can’t wait to get to the point of my life where I can adopt! I know hate will come my way, as I’ve talked about this before and the responses weren’t that good. But fuck that. It’s my life and I know what I am capable of.
I don't think anybody hates on single mothers who adopt (at least not on purpose) because there's no perception of sexual impropriety that comes with adoption.
Well society is cruel to women in general, but some women are more judged than others. I guess the main reason why single mothers are hated is because people assume that they're "sluts" and that they're single mothers because they had sex with different men. Or that they weren't able to be in a relationship or to get married.
The single mom bashers think that there has to be a man in the picture or the kid will become a degenerate or something. They also buy into all of the disgusting, and sometimes misogynistic (yeah, I said it) stigma surrounding single moms. There's also the fact that some people are just looking for a group of people to blame for society's problems. I have a high level of respect for women who pick up the slack and raise their kid on their own. It's hard work and no one has any business looking down upon a woman who's doing what she has to do after her partner died or shirked his responsibilities as a parent. I'm honestly glad I was raised by a single mom. I believe that it played a massive part in helping me have a healthy, in touch perspective on the whole thing.
This isn't largely the case. Single moms tend to get a hell of a lot of compassion and consideration. Single fathers are virtually not talked about at all and at one point - not sure if still going on now - they were depicted as not being as effective parents are single moms.
However, the people who are hating on single moms are talking about the women who slept around or slept with a badass and feel like we shouldn't be giving so much love to those women. Which I can't necessarily disagree with.
After having worked in schools for years, I've noticed that many of the worst kids come from single mother households. The ones with the most promiscuous behavior at too young of an age tend to come from single mothers. And plenty of those kids would have a father if it wasn't for those mothers using the court to unjustly steal the kid from the father just so she can get child support by having majority custody.
And lots of them bring home different guys that are around their children too. Sometimes they pretend it is an uncle that the kids never knew before, but he sleeps in the mother's room, then after a while there is a different "uncle" staying there, etc.
To become a single mother they often had to make poor choices in a mate. And most good men will avoid single mothers when it comes to dating/relationships. No reason to pay for someone else's mistakes.
Not sure if there actual hate towards single mothers. They are certainly surrounded by stigma and it is indeed very silly. For us guys it is so easy: we put our penis into the woman's vagina, do our deed and that is it. The woman has to think about everything from contraceptives to ensuring that she limits having sex during her most fertile period in order to lower the chance of pregnancy even more. We have none of those concerns whatsoever. So any man who discriminates against a single mother who did get pregnant and gave birth to a child, is an idiot.
In all honesty, any discrimination against mothers, single or not, is stupid. We all had mothers, without them we would not exist. Our fathers just eject a tiny bit of sperm and after that the entire process of turning a few cells into a baby consisting out of trillion cells is done exclusively with the help of the mother's body. Knowing that, how on Earth can we be harsh to mums in general?
There are two sides to a coin, and sometimes men are single dads and sometimes moms are abusive to the husbands and that is an instigator in problems, or rather both are abusive because of whatever reasons.
That said, I've met a lot of single moms (too many... this is a messed up society) and I have high respect for them. The energy they put forth, sacrafice, working... going to school same time, raising kids, getting kids to soccer practice... they really give their all and it takes a toll on them. They get a lot of respect from me and extra consideration. Dads are important, I wish the relationships worked better. People used to stay together.
I don't HIGHLY respect them that's a bit too much! You shouldn't respect someone for being responsible. That's what you are SUPPOSED to do! Why put them on a pedestal that's higher than thou! They were the ones that made their bed so now they must do what is needed in order for their loved ones (yes I'm talking about their kids/children) to survive!
@SueAnon84 ok. I'm thinking of the ones I've known and their scenarios, my wand doesn't apply to every person. Some of the ones I know put in endless hours to do whatever it takes to get their kids to a good place. It's $, energy, and emotionally difficult... sometmies without family support or worse... against it. I highly respect because they could give up, give in and walk away. Some do. I am not saying I respect the idea of single mother hood... I think they are nuts if they want that. It's a lot to manage the needs of 2 kids.
If someone were to hate them, I think it'd just be because they don't understand them. They probably think the mother is the problem for getting with men capable of not sticking around and raising a kid. But that's a flawed way of looking at single mothers since there's not a 100% sure way of predicting if a man will stay with you and raise the kids. You just have to trust him. And trust is a bond easily broken. Sometimes there are no signs that the man will leave.
Pretty much all the women in my immediate family have been single mothers at some point. Maybe it was because they chose the wrong one, but at the time, it probably didn't feel that way.
But even if the woman made poor decisions and got with a guy without finding out if he'd be a good father figure, we still can't pin all the blame on her. After all, in his situation, it's still the guy that chose to leave.
"Sometimes there are no signs that the man will leave". And sometimes there are! They just didn't want to see it because they are already head over heels in love with the guy!
@SueAnon84 - Yeah, I never doubted that. I just only used that example because it's the only one that could give another explanation to why it wouldn't be the mother's fault. 👌
I think most people are filled with all kinds of insecurities about their own shortcomings, and many people soothe that by throwing stones at others. Deep down, we all know none of us are doing life perfect, and it’s easier for our psyches to turn their backs to internal issues and instead be like “hey! Look at what THAT person is doing!” It’s a lot easier to throw a stone than to get hit by one.
Your point is well taken about single moms, there are so many variables that can be at play, and even if you did make a poor decision, so the fuck what? Show me a person that’s never made a poor decision and I’ll show you a leprechaun riding a unicorn.
But rather than delve into all that, I take pretty much all instances of critical people as folks who are either running from or blind to their own shortcomings and missteps, in general, period.
If you see somebody in need - you should either feel sorry for them and try to help them - or respect them and move on - and if you really can't accept them - ignore them and ghost them. But being proactively mean when it's not necessary is not smart.
As a kid raised by a single mom I don't think she did a particularly good job Even compared to other single moms. I dont resent her for it though it is what it is
Many kids resent that their mom couldn't make things work with their dad, they don't understand the intricacies of things. But they understand how they felt. If I ever became a dad, i would never abandon my woman, and try my hardest to be their for them. How can someone abandon their kids, or the mother of their children...
Wish no kid has to go through life without a dad... shame on the father's who abandon women...
“Fathers typically offer economic stability, a role model for boys, greater household security, and reduced stress for mothers. This is especially true for families with adolescent boys, the most crime-prone cohort. Children from single-parent families are more prone than children from two-parent families to use drugs, be gang members, be expelled from school, be committed to reform institutions, and become juvenile murderers..”. Sources: www.ncjrs.gov/.../abstract.aspx?ID=167327
The government did a study that a majority of people who are in corrections, jail or prison have one thing in common. They were raised by single mothers. This is one of the reasons why people look down on single mothers.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Because *some* single mothers complain too much or are a burden, in a sense. For example, a single mom may leave work early and give (force) her work for some younger person to do, causing that younger person to adjust his or her plans (and other inconveniences). Sometimes, corporations will not even recognize or pay that younger person for that work. It's unfair for the younger person to be FORCED into helping that mother.
In addition, single moms complain a lot more as well.
The biggest part of the situation is having to put up with the drama of the baby daddy being a jealous asshole that will do anything to make the mom miserable even at the demise of the kid and an awesome future with a guy that actually cared. And the fact that for some reason the single guy that doesn't have any kids that chooses to date the single mom "knows nothing about raising a kid" so they don't have a say in how the kids is raised or how to be disciplined for they way they act. Taking this feature away from the guy you are dating that isn't the father that actually chose to stick around and be there for you and the kid, will also derail his interest in you for the same reason that the other guys out there won't even look your way. Just because it's your problem doesn't mean you have the only solution so you are better off taking the advice from someone on the outside, than not taking the helping hand while sitting in the mud trying to figure out how to get assistance yourself.
It's just people in general. Both sex's are losing their way. Our DNA has been tinkered with a little and is helpinh throw things off as well. It may sound kind of stupid, but the decreasing of our testosterone and the accelerating of women's estrogen levels I believe is in the top three of our biggest problems
I didn't know women get so much judgement being a Single Mom for fuck', s sake people divorce. And divorce is usually the best thing for the child overall. LOVE should be environment they're around. , mom and dad fighting all the time causes emotional damage, and takes away the parents Focus on raising a child cuz they're busy fighting all the time. A divorce can allow the parents-to-be parents and do their part individually to make beautiful child into an amazing adult
Those shaming single parents need to shift their blame towards deadbeat parents who abandon their kids. I was raised by a single mom and found it funny growing up that she got shamed for raising me alone but nobody shamed my father for abandoning us and not paying child support.
My mom always said the biggest mistake she ever made was marrying my father
That's the main thing about single motherhood I cannot ignore. All in all, the woman had poor taste and chose a bad father for the kids. She failed in one of the most important aspects of human existence.
@Prof_Don simple minded man right here. I didn't choose a terrible dad for my son. He passed away fighting for his Country. The fact you have expressed this opinion. Says a lot about you.
"Sometimes these dudes weren't asses and became asses" I wonder why the change? Even if all of a sudden? ! Did he just want a baby out of her? ! Did he just want to be married for the sake of being married? ! This is exhausting!
@SueAnon84 yeah... come to think of it, having a baby takes quite a bit of time to plan and execute. If you can't figure out that your guy's abusive by the end of the abortion window at least, you might have a judgment problem. That goes double for women who refuse to get an abortion for unexpected pregnancies when she barely knows the guy at all.
Because they are held up as virtuous and strong when they were gullible enough to take their pants off and get knocked up by a bum. And since when is being a tramp slut a virtue?
Thinking you knew how to pick a good man, not maintaining communication so there were no "irreconcilable differences" All of that your failures. "Being drugged at a party" Do you really want to stand on that being anyones fault but your own? Leave it lay dont race to embarrass yourself. Good night.
Good answer that from your original stupid logic and draw parallels you immature retard. I am reflecting your analogy. Eye for an eye. Single parent : slut And actually a ghetto girl who bends over like a slut she's accusing a mother of : to being immature.
Good luck to you. I'm a dentist and not a dumb ghetto girl who settles with crumbs that life throws in her face
I laugh how someone with such low self-esteem to give themselves a name like GhettoGirl, can then tirn around and be so smug and think she is better than everyone!!! Sweetie, it's ok we know what you're really doing behind closed doors and dumpsters...
It's not mature to make irrelevant analogy. I beg her to answer one question about finding the right man and being immune from deception by her mature thoughts on 'not being gullible'?
What do we all need to look for and how are we permanently immune from choosing incorrectly? Ok I stepped my line I apologize for my personal attack it was awful of me.
It makes me livid to read or come across a holier than thou art attitude.
To be a Mother is what God gifted and what a couple decided incidentally.
She's probably seen only such examples doI can't blame her. However relationships are a thriving industry as is the foundation of this app. Why? If it were the garden of Eden no divorce no single parents no war no tragedy no war occur. No suffering right?
No market no demand. No clothes because the concept of shame is non existent.
I won't continue with your maturity level, I doubt any conversation we find ourselves in will turn out better so go on somewhere else with the childish blabber and unwarranted fashion attack. Good night.
I actually agreed with a lot of what you said Ghetto Girl and the people that attacked you were VERY immature. It's hard to believe they're actually parents! What kind of example are they putting out for their child? ! I think the points you made in your answer made a lot of sense! Some people just don't know how to pick good men and or they are too horny for their own good and then they blame outsiders for their stupid choices!
@SueAnon84 yeah... come to think of it, having a baby takes quite a bit of time to plan and execute. If you can't figure out that your guy's abusive by the end of the abortion window at least, you might have a judgment problem. That goes double for women who refuse to get an abortion for unexpected pregnancies when she barely knows the guy at all.
It has nothing to do with being horny. Do all tinder or hook ups end up with bells, a wedding and a baby?
So please stop Ill founded association i. Lust with conception.
They are. on far ends of the spectrum. As to @SueAnon84: have you read psychology at all? Have you come across books or audio books to prevent or avert misfortune? If not start there sweetheart you’ll be in for some mind altering psychological issues with both genders.
Firstly men and women are not stock to be selected, chosen or bought. Attraction is based on many factors. Attraction need not be heterosexual for you to comply to one’s ideas over the other. Attraction can be relatability and concepts of personality you envision for yourself observed in others.
That is why you are quick to chastise what is unfamiliar yet so obvious. Your own family and your experience may have influenced you regarding parenting ideals and values.
One thing I’m certain of is the incorrect assumptions of lust with parenting or outcome as a single mom. Are all single moms promiscuous? I don’t think you know the United States family law and how critical it is. You single women are more promiscuous than us and viola no responsibilities either ! How audacious are you to suggest that we don’t choose the father well when you may never arrive at the footsteps of parenting, because either you have high opinion of yourself and are liable to be used like toilet paper on tinder.
Like Beyoncé says “ if you like it you gotta put a ring on it.” You might not be of such value to begin with.
@smg99 I'm not single I'm engaged. I don't go on Tinder. I had for like a week back in 2015 but I realized it was a useless (not to mention dangerous and stupid) app. I HAVE read many psyche books and I have two associate degrees (not in psychology but in Real Estate and Communications).
"You single women are more promiscuous than us and viola no responsibilities either !" Just because I don't have children... yet, does NOT mean I am irresponsible. I have a job and I pay my ways to live. ... So in conclusion, I don't know if you were referring to me but what you have described that you thought were bad qualities, does not apply to me whatsoever. Thanks.
People who do not like single moms are just to ignorant to understand them ! The father of the children may have passed away or the father was a drunk or abused them ! Single moms should join a site for single parents to have male friends ! Thanks
Single mothers who became widowed are respected. Single mothers who slept with bad boys and ignored the nice guys during her prime years, and then got pregnant by one, only for the bad boy to leave, forcing said single mother to go looking for s nice guy to support her child, are not respected.
Then that's their fault. They should've properly screened their boyfriends before marrying them. They should've delved into their past to see if they were mentally stable. This suggests that they didn't spend enough time getting to know them and were hasty with their marriage.
The responsible fellas with no kids, and an eye open at all times cause the one I'll fall for and know is from God. The little scared boy bitches have a pattetn of blasting some shit out of your little premature ejaculating pecker and just being a loser. It's a blessing to see such ones are the problems and which are not.
We need to separate ourselves from the things in the world that are superficial, artificial, narcisistic sociopathic... turd burglars. Now us Alpha make types that know the importance of the , connection needed 4 a real relationship and marriage. Thus leading to good parenting skills thus leading to a new generation of young adults who from mine do are getting out of control and deteriorating so I'm ready to help in any way I can anytime if you need me lol just kidding
The hate is to single mothers that had a kid outside a relationship/marriage. It shows lack of self control, awareness, and maturity. Kids born in this type of environment statistically do worse than kids born in stable relationships. Look at how people in jail were raised. ~75% come from single motherhood houses. Coincidence? I doubt it.
Obviously it's possible for a single mother to do a great job, it happens, but usually single mothers aren't the best individuals to raise kids anyways, hence why the are single mothers.
Well, tbh, because they need that societal support in order to raise kids. Also, there's the issue of some of them being abusive, using men for sex, getting the kid, and using the Male as nothing more than an income, and using the kid to get welfare/assistance from the state...
What does it take to get such assistance? Simple. Tell them the male was abusive. Poof. Easy $...
See the problem? Or are you going to have to find out the hard way by your future ex-girlfriend?
"the Male as nothing more than an income" More like free sperm for said child! ... What? ! Just stating the obvious! ... But really, I don't HATE on single moms. It's their life and their business and what's it to me? ! I get Welfare but it's little and the requirements are a lot to get it. If I had any dependents, I'd probably get Welfare on that as well but I don't. Children are innocent so you shouldn't bag on them for exsisting. It's BOTH parent's responsibility to raise the child but if one isn't available or the parents need some extra help for some weird reason, then unfortunately they qualify! NOW THE PEOPLE WHO DAMN ABUSE/CHEAT the system is what I hate! Single moms? ! I feel sorry for them.
Right. I wasn't trying to trash on moms doin what moms do. Moms do what moms gotta do, and society does what society's gotta do. It's the hucksters and fraudsters that are using the system for "an easy life" that aren't helping anyone but themselves, and doing harm to everyone else in the meantime, whether they're aware of it or not.
Also, when the system *automatically* cuts the father out of the family, or simply takes an account of abuse at face value, they do a disservice to society, and civic oversight needs to better handle situations of abuse by sensitively analyzing the dynamics in an unbiased manner. So far, the civic system hasn't progressed much beyond the Salem Witch Trials in that regard; whether they're demonizing the Male, or the female, makes no difference.
If society butts into people's lives, then it should probably do so as a physician more than a wrecking ball. We pay these people to help repair society when it gets torn; not playing bowling with "people pins"...
Women are the ones with pretty much all of the reproductive rights, but with that comes responsibility too. Bringing a child into this world is a huge responsibility and shouldn't be taken lightly.
When a woman makes poor life choices that result in a child who doesn't have a father, or worse, makes the conscious choice to conceive and raise a child without a father, they are and should be judged for that. Children raised without a father are at far greater risk for a long list of problems. The high rate of single mothers has had a huge negative impact in society.
And by the way, deadbeat fathers are judged for the same reasons, as they should be.
I saw very immature user on this question and they need get out of the trash bins brain that they have. I don’t really care about single mum any way.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I have no issues with them.
Only, when they think that world owns them everything, because she is single mum.
There is some of them who are not mentally stable stable and get men to insanity stage ( I'm not searching for any excuses in man behaviour here!!!)
In UK a lot of them just have kids and no husband so they can get welfare money, house and... Yes, now it is hard to get, but it stoped not long time ago.
From my position, if I would decide to get in to relationship with single mother, I would have to pay for her child from previous relationship and no right to have any influence on that child and father would be visiting... Another interesting thing most of those kids are kept secret untill you move together... WHY?
You are so right in your thinking. Of course you wanna try to keep a relationship between kids and their Dad. But on occassion, Dads turn and run and never to be seen again. Or they are around, but they're on drugs, abusive, or worse. But if all this fails, then super Mom gotta save the day. Be the 1 of the 2 people needed to nurture your child's development.
I know I may be saying this the wrong way and that I'll catch a lot of flak for this opinion but, personally, I have no problem with there being single mothers. I just wouldn't date one because personally, I don't want to be left to raise another man's child. I wouldn't want another man to raise my child either. I have nothing against single mothers, nor is there anything personal against them.
I did never hate single mothers. I don't know why some guys have such aversion to them. I understand that a man who doesn't have own kids won't accept to be a daddy for her kids, but as sex material are single mothers definitely better than 18 girls who want to cheat on their boyfriend.
There's a difference between hate and having preference. I think single mothers do a great job on taking both roles as the parent, respect where it's due.
However, personally I won't date a single mother, at the end of the day that's just my preference, doesn't mean I hate them.
Men hate. because maybe they want u. and u shine them off. plus men are pricks. im a man. but men are self centered nachos, think they have all rights, think they are smarter than women and they are doing women a favor. and see them as sex objects, and maids. and have major egos.
90% of the single mothers i know chose to end it despite being married to great men, and they ended up sleeping around... nowadays single mothers are women that want a change so they divorce the dad and live their life alone, no sane person (man or woman ) can ever respect that.
I certainly appreciate that single mothers, as long aa the father was abusive or passed. To cut a man out of his children's lives for convenience or for spite is an issue. To me the default should be joint custody in a divorce, unless there is compelling reason to exclude a parent. Unfortunately this common sense situation is being fought by many feminist groups. So what you are seeing is backlash against this lobying not backlash against single mothers.
Single mothers as a group are regarded as having made bad life choices. Sometimes unfairly. And regardless of their efforts, generally speaking, children do worse in such situations. For 14, you ask a mature question and frame it very well. Better than some of the adults. :-)
Sometimes single motherhood has to be done. But it is not something that should be normalized at all.
The issue is that single motherhood is being intentionally done with women going to sperm banks and INTENTIONALLY having fatherless kids. That is such an evil disservice to the children. Jesus is coming soon.
All single moms excepts widows either chose a bad boy showing they are immature and make terrible life choices and expect a "nice guy" to clean up their mess OR they are so shitty they scared the man away like he couldn't bear to be in a relationship with her she was that shitty.
Widows make up about 1% of single moms so that's a red herring and nobody looks down on them anyways.
There are too many factors involved here for a single answer. However, it can be percieved as a red flag. If the father was a bad person why did they wait to have kids before leaving or the non-committal theme that is sweeping through various parts of society rn. I would never have a problem with a widow because that's stupid, not their fault. Generally people won't have a problem with you if your thinking before you do things and doing whats best for your family and future.
I was raised by a single mom as were pratically ALL my friends. Single moms are CRUEL to their sons and project a lot of hate and anger of the mmen that abandoned on them on to their kids. Another thing is that raising kids alone is hard and single mothers are notorious for treating their kids like shit because of how hard it is.
I'm not particularly hating on her but she made a LOT of mistakes and they were mistakes that I know see younger single mother's in my family making. I also work in social services and I see the way these stressed out single moms treat 2 and 3 year old little boys. It's sickening.
I live in a "white" area and I saw a white mother mistreating a little boy the other day. Please don't try it. I also have a feeling that not all of your friends were abused by the women raising them. It doesn't sound very realistic.
@ShineDJJ "I also have a feeling that not all of your friends were abused by the women raising them. It doesn't sound very realistic." - Oh boy... you sound pretty sheltered. Yes... practically every single one was abused.
ronaldo75!! My Brother i wish all great things to come for you. I know a little secret my friend and i share a trickle of experience and/or Advice to the woke
I agree 5000 percent with you. My mother raised me and my 3 siblings on her own. There were nogovernment handouts or other help, she did it all on her own. Good for you if you are a mother or father raising and looking safter your children on your own.
I don't hate them, but it does disturb me how society is alright with no dad in the picture. That's not how is supposed to be. Yes some things are unavoidable like a death, but leaving a woman with the kids, so you can have conquests and fulfilling some mid life or a general crisis, just because. Thats messed up.
Baggage, baby daddy drama, made up family that is not his, set in her ways , ur an outsider, lots a bills, kids are not urs or will respect u. Plus you will have to deal with the rest of the shit that relation ships deal with. That's why. I would not call it hate I would call it fear. Red flags all over the place. Most of the time.
I don’t hate single moms. But I most certainly get annoyed when they try to date me... I’m not a bank account for your mistakes and I’m not raising a child that isn’t related to me.
Many guys dislike single moms because single moms tend to have babies with the bad boys and then expect the nice guys to help raise their babies.
I believe a supernatural experience, and a gift from God takes place with a Mom and her new baby. And ladies holla cause you know what i mean, lol. And i know certain women, that have had a kid, and experienced the power of this LOVE and PROTECT ION and all your questions about out unkown origin, purpose, ability, and where we get to go when we die, and our creator he loves us and everything is gonna be alright
What about single fathers? No one ever talks about that.
People also don't like celebrating single motherhood BECAUSE it's not ideal for the child, NOT because it's difficult. It's comparable to saying someone is a good cook because they tried.
There's also a misconception because men don't want to date women who already have kids. Why would they? That's a huge responsibility that men AND women don't want until they've been together (usually) for years.
Sissy, single fathers aren't treates like heros and kings but they are treated as attractive to women because women see that as a man who accepts responsibility and can handle having children with her.
Single mothers aren't treated like heros or queens but they are also not treated as attractive because no man actively wants the responsibility of raising another man's kid unless he's in love with the mother or looking to adopt. ^ I feel like that's what Sue was trying to say however cuckold probably isn't the right word because by definition that's a man watching the woman he's with get railed by another dude and then staying with her after the act.
I think it's mostly because they seem to love the title and demand respect. I got an example of this. One of the women I met, has a daughter that she "raises" that she says is "her world." The whole schpeel. Now what really happens is she is on disability, that makes it so she can't work, but will go out clubbing 2 nights a week. She has her close friend watch the child 4 or more days a week, but she still claims that she's doing it on her own. It's the title demands that people hate.
Shaming is a universal tactic to pressure others into behaving in a way that appeals to oneself. In the case of single mothers, many view them as the fallout of the traditional American family's breakdown and would highly prefer future mothers to take notice and stop the pattern.
Not my belief by the way, just my observation of others' criticism
It's simple others kids are extra package that is unwanted or add extra complications. Things are simpler with no kids in the picture, no need to deal with extra relationships such as with the kids and their father.
Hi all you amazing, God given companions lol. I'll take it to an even more honest tone. God damn are u kidding? A true hottie with a heart, that has experienced that intensity of love. I know what occurs. And as a man, it makes a woman sexier than anything to me. Oh you better know That we're out here, and u don't get insecure, or have doubts about your being desired. I look for women in their 30's or late 20's that have a kid even. You have special powers and love me some cute Angels
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