Because their pieces of shit who can't stand to see a woman be successful
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I’m not a single mom but I have respect for them and the men who date them. I also have a high respect for men like you who truly get it. Not many around here do. Thank you so much for your presence here. 🖤
I have a problem with single mothers who don't think fathers are necessary.
It isn't about "hating" single moms, it's about avoiding them. Why?
1.) Normal women don't get dumped -- therefore there's a chance she either has cheating tendencies [and don't expect her to admit that she got divorced for riding some Tyrone behind her ex-husband's back], is mentally unstable etc.
2.) By getting with a single mom, you're not creating a family -- you're joining a family and you don't have the same rights (yet have fully the same obligations and expectations) as a real father.
3.) A child is a constant reminder of other men in that woman's life. Obviously I don't expect to be some holy virgin, but at the same time a constant walking reminder is an eyesore.
4.) If a child is old enough to remember you're not his real dad, he'll treat you accordingly.
5.) You'll never be on the same level in the eyes of that woman of importance; it will be "her, her children, her mom and then maybe you" -- in that order, especially when opinion is required.
6.) If you'll have your own children with her, you are very likely to pay more attention to your own kids -- which woman will dislike and her children will dislike; and they (especially her child) can really poison your life -- or worse, life of your child.
7.) Real dad may suddenly show up and start poisoning your life. Bonus points if he was in prison, for example, therefore fuck knows what kind of connections he may have.
8.) Stemming from №2, №4 and №5, you'll be severely limited with influence over raising a child. If it will get to the point you gotta get a bit rough and scold a child, a woman is nearly guaranteed to interfere and sabotage your authority in child's eyes -- after all you aren't his father, hence you can't do plenty of things a real father can. If a child is old enough to remember you're not his dad (or simply knows you're not his dad, but doesn't remember actual dad), he can also simply ignore you or even tell you to fuck off with "you're not my dad!". Not only this will make you feel like walking ATM who dispenses money on ungrateful bitch & ungrateful child, this will permanently harm your authority as a "father figure" and "man of the house".
And plenty of other issues.
If you want to have them, go ahead, your life & your choices.Nadim, I want you to read this very carefully. It took time for me to gather all this.
43% of prison inmates grew up in single-parent house holds. 39% with single moms, 4% with single dads. single mother households produce a disproportionately high number of criminals. Single father homes do not. (US Bureau of Justice Statistics.)
60% of rapists and 72% of adolescent murderers grew up without a father. (Behavioral Sciences and The Law, Life Without Father, Policy Review)
63% of all youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (US Dept. of Health/Census)
Abusive Violence against children appears to be a function of poverty in mother-only homes, but unrelated to income among single fathers. (Child abuse and violence in single-parent families, Am J Orthopsychiatry.)
90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. (Dousing the Kindlers, Psychology Today)
85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes. (CDC)
85% of youths in prison grew up in fatherless homes. (Texas Department of Corrections)
Growing up in a female-headed household remained a statistical predictor of behavior problems even after adjusting for differences in family incomes. (Economic Deprivation and Early Child Development)
71% of all high school drop-outs come from fatherless homes. (National Principal's Association Report)
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.
I was raised by a single mother who is worthy of respect, that doesn't mean every bitch who got knocked up by a player because she was being a little slut and then couldn't settle her stupid ass down and find a man afterwards is equally worthy of respect.
I see too many single moms nowadays who should not even be moms, should have their kids taken from them and given to DECENT people who will actually raise the child and teach it something, like maybe how to act in public, how to have manners, how to speak properly, etc. And yet they all want to latch onto the "single mom" label as if it makes them a real hero like my mom was.
There are DAMN FEW single moms out there who aren't solely to blame for their own problems, and now their bad decisions are causing huge, massive, lifelong problems for the kids. And they want to be praised and glorified?
Nadim, I'm sorry if you never had a good father, I'm in the same boat, but I can assure you that gender has nothing to do with good or evil. The line between good and evil runs through the heart of each and every person, you cannot remove evil from your life by removing men from your life. Then you remove some good and some evil, and also keep some good and some evil.
You're a man. Be a good man. Be a good husband, be a good father. Help a good woman to be a good mother, because it's too hard for anyone to do alone.
But don't fall for this bullshit that women sell you that they're always the poor innocent victim. Women are world-class experts at sabotaging themselves, at playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes, they're like a dog that wraps it's leash around a tree and then doesn't know how to get unwound again, so it just sits there and strangles itself. A woman needs a man guiding her thoughts and actions, not the other way around.Again, you need to stop painting things with these broad brushes. Growing up, my friend had a single mom who was a crack-whore, and lived with her for a few years before his aunt and uncle stepped in and got custody. Yep, "women" are "brave and powerful." They definitely aren't individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses.
Seriously dude, this is slimy as fuck. Stop it.
I don't have anything against single moms. That's not a deal-breaker for me at all, especially if she's got her shit together. I agree, that's an attractive quality in a person, even if (and probably because) it's not present in every woman.
What pisses me off are the ridiculous number of Tinder profiles I run across, where it's some lazy ass girl with 2-3 kids, no job, and no prospects, especially if she's overtly looking for a sugar-daddy. It's ridiculous how irresponsible and entitled some of these girls come off.
Damn dude, you're only 14. I'm sorry if I was a bit rough with you before, but you're young and dumb right now. You'll understand when you're dating and in your twenties.Considering that statistically, most single moms made a bad decision which caused them to become a single mom, the logical conclusion would be that the negative stigma, "hate" as you call it" is earned via them not having the virtues most commonly associated with success and happiness. This would lead to an obvious perpetuating of the negative stigma by those whom keep mentioning "hate for single mothers" such as your question. The only thing to be impressed about for a single mother would be if they are a good person in general. The state of single motherhood should not change how anyone views the mother in any realistic sense. Moat men wouldn't date single mothers do to the fact that legally, if they marry this single mother whomst has a child then the mother divorces again, the man must legally pay child support despite the child not being his. This is also not including the cost of raising a child imparted to the man and mother. All of these complications go to be shown as a simple statement"It's too much trouble for everyone involved"
Because if you’re a single mom, that means you most likely have poor judgement. Stats show that women divorce a lot more often than men, so if a mother is single, chances are she divorced and broke up the family and robbed your child of having a strong male figure. There’s a chance she doesn’t value a man the way she should and there’s also a chance she doesn’t value what marriage and commitment actually entails. Also, if she wasn’t married, no one really looks up to people who have children out of wedlock.
Also, if you date a single mother, you have to deal with her ex husbands drama and the confusion that the kid will experience when he or she has two dads that are constantly colliding. You also will never be her number 1. Her kid will always be number 1, so you need to understand that you’re not going to be a priority.
i’ve known good single moms that had to leave unfortunate situations for the betterment of themselves and their kids. Fuck my best friends mom was a single mom because his dad kept cheating. That’s a legitimate reason to leave. but let’s be real... not all single moms are so noble and honorable. The majority of single moms that I’ve met in my opinion are really unpleasant women who don’t treat men right, have an extreme almost masculine sense of entitlement, and don’t value commitment or the importance of a male figure in their child’s life.
... Just being real here.Sometimes it’s not the stuff that the good ones do, but the ones that are done with malicious intent.
I should know, because I was a product from it.
You see, in divorce, there’s this thing called divorce rape.
It’s where when a divorce occurs not because of a bad or abusive partner (because I know damn well my dad was a saint), but because they want to take all of the assets one of the partners have, and leave it in ruins for whatever is left; whether that means mentally breaking them to the brink of madness or destroying/using the children as metaphorical martyrs just to get what they want, but this is usually the worst cases.
As to why it makes people hate single mothers a bit more, the reason is that guys usually get the raw end of the deal, as far as I can see. Not to say that it can’t occur to women as well, but in forums that actually talk about these things there’s a pretty clear gender ratio.
Usually guys are seen to be more aggressive and more likely to be the ones who are abusive, even though honestly this stereotype is just going to be detrimental. We often get stereotyped in mental health and in abusive relations, where society (despite all odds) pretty much made us try to believe that us men don’t have mental issues nor abuse issues.
If a guy tries to divorce/leave somebody because of an abusive partner (which sometimes even leads to calling an abuse hotline, which the following case occurs), they’re often told to “man up” and take it or that they’re lying.
I hate to be pointing the finger at women, but the statistics are there, and I’m not going to stay silent when I was given hell because of the fucked up consequences this can have.
(More in replies)The biggest part of the situation is having to put up with the drama of the baby daddy being a jealous asshole that will do anything to make the mom miserable even at the demise of the kid and an awesome future with a guy that actually cared. And the fact that for some reason the single guy that doesn't have any kids that chooses to date the single mom "knows nothing about raising a kid" so they don't have a say in how the kids is raised or how to be disciplined for they way they act. Taking this feature away from the guy you are dating that isn't the father that actually chose to stick around and be there for you and the kid, will also derail his interest in you for the same reason that the other guys out there won't even look your way. Just because it's your problem doesn't mean you have the only solution so you are better off taking the advice from someone on the outside, than not taking the helping hand while sitting in the mud trying to figure out how to get assistance yourself. Most will admit that they chose the wrong guy but would never take back having their kid, so it has nothing to do with the fact that they are a single mother, making it more of a problem with the resentment of men in general. However, and I'm just saying, you don't see Christian guys hating women in general because of Eve and the serpent although both instances can be classified as learned hatreds. Therefore, this issue falls back to single mothers not being ready to accept the help of single guys that actually show interest in them or their kid (s), to the extent that they may even give up their opportunity to have any kids of their own. Which, in my opinion, is the most selfless and honorably humbling trait that anyone could possess, to give up any hopes or dreams of what they could produce to give way to that which already exist and will never truly be their own. So in the simple words of Phil Collins, "Oh, think twice."
Yes because you're only looking at one side of the coin.
That single mother with the abusive husband most likely was abusive from the get go. But she stayed with him " because she loved him" lol then she had a kid. Somewhere along the line her stupid ass finally wised up and said. Hmmm you know what? Maybe this isn't the best enviroment to raise a child. Kudos to her for finally using her brain. But i'm not going to congratulate her for FINALLY getting her act together.
And not to mention that many of those single mothers you talk about have multiple children from multiple guys. Which means not only did they make a mistake. But they didn't learn from it and continued to make the same mistake again and again. And since she's a single mother guess who ends up footing the bill for them kids because she can't raise them on her own... that's right the taxpayer, ME!
Considering i'm paying for them i do think i've at least earned the right to have an opinion on them. Believe me, many are getting much less hate then they've earned.Your statement which ends "it isn't always an option". There is significant evidence that many MANY women go into relationships with that knowledge looking for free housing, green cards and child support money with little desire to raise a kid or select it's father as a life partner. They may spend years "going along for the ride" faking being a good girlfriend whikst trying to conceive. With the addition of charities for displaced families (find me a single parent family with a male head that still gets assistance from a family support charity... You won't because branding and feminism means they are mostly called "women's charities") a young under 20 can get a home deposit, a few thousand in handouts and suck off the teat of the kids father for the next 18 years then moan about how poor daddy made the kids by leaving (even though she was even scalping off state child payments and they were still more than enough never mind support from dad). Afterwards the law is so biased that if a man doesn't do what a woman says they can be forced into court just to see thier kid (costing thousands), even if he keeps up with his payments. She can get a restraining order for practically anything (an argument can allow it for example under "harrassment") In other words if you don't have a moral compass and your thing goes in rather than out it's a great place to start a career.
Because people are fucking hypocrites and have a problem with women who victimize themselves by choosing to stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of kids but they also have a problem with women who end up leaving their men as well. Because people are hypocrites calling the Eastern culture backwards because people don't want to divorce no matter what once they have kids but also they gonna proceed to tell why they don't date single women.
People are judgmental and hypocritical. It doesn't go through their head that shit can happen even after having kids.Yes! I want so badly to become a single mother. It suits me perfectly. Can’t wait to get to the point of my life where I can adopt!
I know hate will come my way, as I’ve talked about this before and the responses weren’t that good. But fuck that. It’s my life and I know what I am capable of.- s
Well society is cruel to women in general, but some women are more judged than others.
I guess the main reason why single mothers are hated is because people assume that they're "sluts" and that they're single mothers because they had sex with different men.
Or that they weren't able to be in a relationship or to get married. The single mom bashers think that there has to be a man in the picture or the kid will become a degenerate or something. They also buy into all of the disgusting, and sometimes misogynistic (yeah, I said it) stigma surrounding single moms. There's also the fact that some people are just looking for a group of people to blame for society's problems.
I have a high level of respect for women who pick up the slack and raise their kid on their own. It's hard work and no one has any business looking down upon a woman who's doing what she has to do after her partner died or shirked his responsibilities as a parent. I'm honestly glad I was raised by a single mom. I believe that it played a massive part in helping me have a healthy, in touch perspective on the whole thing.This isn't largely the case. Single moms tend to get a hell of a lot of compassion and consideration. Single fathers are virtually not talked about at all and at one point - not sure if still going on now - they were depicted as not being as effective parents are single moms.
However, the people who are hating on single moms are talking about the women who slept around or slept with a badass and feel like we shouldn't be giving so much love to those women. Which I can't necessarily disagree with.After having worked in schools for years, I've noticed that many of the worst kids come from single mother households.
The ones with the most promiscuous behavior at too young of an age tend to come from single mothers.
And plenty of those kids would have a father if it wasn't for those mothers using the court to unjustly steal the kid from the father just so she can get child support by having majority custody.
And lots of them bring home different guys that are around their children too. Sometimes they pretend it is an uncle that the kids never knew before, but he sleeps in the mother's room, then after a while there is a different "uncle" staying there, etc.
To become a single mother they often had to make poor choices in a mate. And most good men will avoid single mothers when it comes to dating/relationships. No reason to pay for someone else's mistakes.Not sure if there actual hate towards single mothers. They are certainly surrounded by stigma and it is indeed very silly. For us guys it is so easy: we put our penis into the woman's vagina, do our deed and that is it. The woman has to think about everything from contraceptives to ensuring that she limits having sex during her most fertile period in order to lower the chance of pregnancy even more. We have none of those concerns whatsoever. So any man who discriminates against a single mother who did get pregnant and gave birth to a child, is an idiot.
In all honesty, any discrimination against mothers, single or not, is stupid. We all had mothers, without them we would not exist. Our fathers just eject a tiny bit of sperm and after that the entire process of turning a few cells into a baby consisting out of trillion cells is done exclusively with the help of the mother's body. Knowing that, how on Earth can we be harsh to mums in general?There are two sides to a coin, and sometimes men are single dads and sometimes moms are abusive to the husbands and that is an instigator in problems, or rather both are abusive because of whatever reasons.
That said, I've met a lot of single moms (too many... this is a messed up society) and I have high respect for them. The energy they put forth, sacrafice, working... going to school same time, raising kids, getting kids to soccer practice... they really give their all and it takes a toll on them. They get a lot of respect from me and extra consideration. Dads are important, I wish the relationships worked better. People used to stay together.If someone were to hate them, I think it'd just be because they don't understand them. They probably think the mother is the problem for getting with men capable of not sticking around and raising a kid. But that's a flawed way of looking at single mothers since there's not a 100% sure way of predicting if a man will stay with you and raise the kids. You just have to trust him. And trust is a bond easily broken. Sometimes there are no signs that the man will leave.
Pretty much all the women in my immediate family have been single mothers at some point. Maybe it was because they chose the wrong one, but at the time, it probably didn't feel that way.
But even if the woman made poor decisions and got with a guy without finding out if he'd be a good father figure, we still can't pin all the blame on her. After all, in his situation, it's still the guy that chose to leave.
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