Why do single moms cop so much hate?

[Anonymous]

Not all single moms choose to be single some are single mom's because the father of their child passed away. Some women are single moms because the guy abandoned her and his child. Yet many, especially men themselves, target the woman and accuse her of pushing the guy away and of being selfish for bringing a child into the world without a dad. Why do people, especially guys, not say anything negative about the guy and call him out for abandoning his kids? Why is it always the woman who cops the hate for being a single mom

[Metallsturm]

Men get their hate if they're bad dads as well. Let's clarify this one. However, men typically outright say whether they want a child or not. And here comes something to think about:

In most countries where abortion is legal, men typically have no say whatsoever on birth of a child. If a man wants to keep a child and a woman decides to have an abortion, a man has no say on it. If a man doesn't want a child and a woman decided to give birth, a man has no say on it. And he is now also eligible to pay child support as an added "bonus". This is why in the USA plenty of low-quality women were opposed to Roe vs Wade being revoked, as basically (and ironically) it was all about equality: now both men AND women have no say on abortion in those states. Privileged right to make a decision was taken away and both sexes got equalized, and now those for "equality" are mad about it. Go figure 🤷‍♂️

But getting back on topic: since it's generally a woman's choice whether to keep a child or not, she should be better at considering with who she's breeding with. Plenty of girls prefer to date and fuck "bad guys" (because dating one releases them from pressure to be a "good woman" that they obviously aren't when they're dating a good guy), and women in general have far less accountability in their lives for their own actions. Obviously, she wasn't thinking at all when she was getting penetrated while not being on birth control. Yes, sometimes it fails, but different studies show that average percent of birth control failure is around ~4%. Thus she was either talked into having unprotected sex, didn't care for herself or even outright lied being on pill (that happens more often than you think). Thus in most cases, it's her own fault.

Next, it's no secret women initiate a divorce far more often than men (different researches show that women initiate from 70% to 80% of divorces) for a variety of reasons that they typically name themselves (which is typically some "self-feel-good" nonsense, as it's hard for women to admit their own faults, since there's already a whole generation of "yas queen" mentality entitled chicks with overinflated self-esteem and near-zero accountability);
But the real reason is that women always tend to think they can find someone better than they already have. Once the reality kicks in (that they've probably abandoned the best choice they deserve) and now they're stuck on a carriage on their hands, they are prone to become utter bitches that poison the lives of others, since misery loves company. She fucked it up for herself by herself.

Going further, it's a really bad idea to date a single mom, even if she didn't chase her man away, but is an unfortunate widow. One of the core reasons is that a man must adjust to "100% responsibility, 0% authority", meaning that a woman will expect him to do all the duties a father should do (mainly provide & protect), but won't ever see that man being "legit" dad when it comes down to authority and power to scold and stuff *her* (not *their*) child, thus she'll constantly interfere in upbringing process taking child's side every time, effectively destroying man's authority in child's eyes. In most cases, a man will be demoted to a walking ATM for her and her child, which *will* backfire terribly for that child one it grows up. I'm not even going to mention other downsides, such as a real dad suddenly appearing and claiming a legal right to be into that kid's life, etc.

[Asker]

I was married but he cheated on me more then once and dumped me the very moment I found out I was pregnant and where I live it is illegal to have an abortion but yet I'm being hated on for bringing a child into the world and for being a single mum. I legit was told I couldn't fall pregnant by doctors and I have medical records to prove this so I didn't baby trap him either

I have never cared about his money either. 98% of the time I was paying for everything. It sucks being hated on

[Metallsturm]

> I was married but he cheated on me more then once
Then why marry or stay married to a guy that cheats? Never noticed anything in his behavior before that'd alarm you he's not a good husband material?

> 98% of the time I was paying for everything
Then why marry him if that's the case? Besides, women are materialistic creatures, thus I find it hard to believe you never cared about his money.

You made some shitty decisions (and likely were chasing some Chad or Tyrone), now you face the consequences 🤷‍♂️ I don't feel sorry for you at all, but I do feel sorry for a kid being raised without a proper dad.

[Anonymous]

"Why do people, especially guys, not say anything negative about the guy and call him out for abandoning his kids?" <-- This is 100% bullshit. Deadbeat dads are among the most despised and criticized members of society.

The real problem is that deadbeat dads are judged FAR more harshly than single mothers, and those single mothers need to be judged much more harshly than they have been.

This is one of the primary factors in the decline of western civilization

Western society is in deep trouble and the exponential rise in fatherless children is a huge reason behind what has brought us to this point. The change has been driven largely by the changes in female behavior over the last 5 - 6 decades. Feminism set out decades ago to destroy the nuclear family by convincing women that fathers are not necessary and that women should have sex with whoever they want, even men they know are low quality and won't stick around to be a father to their child. This was a very deliberate strategy and women are responsible for it.

Over the same period of time, the divorce rate has skyrocketed. Today, half of marriages end in divorce and women initiate 70% - 80% of them. And what is the #1 reason for divorce? Lack of commitment. Google it if you don't believe me.

Women need to stop recklessly breeding with low quality men who they know damned well won't make good fathers. They need to stop destroying marriage the way they have been over the last 50 years. And they need to stop believing the lie that they can do their children justice without a father. This has all happened during a time when women had easy access to abortion, which is the female equivalent of a deadbeat dad.

Are men at fault here too? Of course, but the vast majority of the blame for the unprecedented rise in children raised without a father rests squarely on the shoulders of women. We need to openly recognize that fact and start holding women MORE accountable for their poor choices, not LESS.

[Asker]

I never see any hate comments towards the guys online only ever hate towards the woman. I get there are women out there who are jerks who do prevent the guy from seeing his kids and they do need to be held accountable but not all women are like this

I have proof to prove I have tried everything to get him to have a relationship with our baby i have even wanted him to help pick a baby name because it is selfish to keep a dad away from their child unless the guy is violent and dangerous but he doesn't care at all. Even though we were married and he cheated on me more then once and than abandoned me once I found out I was pregnant I've still being trying to make things work but he is dead set not wanting anything to do with the baby. I don't even care about his money either. 98% of the time I was paying for everything anyway. I never baby trapped him either as I have evidence from doctors showing that I couldn't fall pregnant so this pregnancy has been a complete shock for everyone. It just sucks that all women who are single mums get hated on even when many people have zero clue as to why she is a single mum.

[Opinion Owner]

How did you become a single mom with a guy like that? Honest question, what is the story?

[Anonymous]

It’s based on face-value assumptions, such as single moms often being poor, exhausted, and “hardened”, which means they were a tough shell. These assumptions create the idea that that the woman must’ve been unlovable and abandoned by the father, or the woman made poor life choices (like being promiscuous/slutty), and a great many other assumptions people make. Most of the time none of these things are true, but stereotyping makes sense to the haters I guess. Nevermind the fact that some women can be widowed, domestic abuse victims, or even just the father being deadbeat and ditching his responsibilities to go be wild and free.

[Asker]

Thank you. This is really helpful. I posted a question earlier and though I explained there was cheating and abuse involved and that I had evidence of him cheating on me and the abuse. This one guy criticised me and blamed me for chasing the guy away among a few others things. It was like why am I coping hate. We were married but he cheated and done things which he could have been charged with if i went to the police but i didn't. I'm not the one who is abandoning my child, he is but this guy basically gave my ex a pass and didn't see anything wrong with what he done but he hated on me

[Anonymous]

Men who are misogynistic or women who were taught to blame women and are too dumb to think for themselves are like that. My ex’s dad blamed me even-though his mom was a single mother who got divorced back when it was stigma. Hypocrite.

[Avicenna]

Being the son of single mom myself, I can tell you that isn't true. My father definitely got the criticism, not my mother, although it's rarely one parent that was at fault.

[Asker]

I honestly never see any hate towards men online, it's always usually the woman who cops the hate and backlash. Unless you know that woman's circumstances and her reasons for why she is a single mum, I think it is disgusting to judge her and hate on her

[Brando10222]

Didn't have any idea it is that bad for single moms. I don't jump to conclusions unless I know their story. I don't know why others do that

[Asker]

It's is actually bad. Single moms get so much hate and it sucks. I copped hate from some guy in a earlier question I posted. I wrote in my question he had cheated on me and there was abuse involved but some guy blamed me for chasing him away and for him abandoning his child and he also said some other things as well. Sucky thing is we were married when I fell pregnant but he still cheated and abandoned me but to this guy, my now ex husband done nothing wrong but to him, he felt it was okay to hate on me. You go on social media and often you find comments from people saying it is selfish to bring a child into this world as a child needs a mother and father and its like you don't know their circumstances as to why they are a single mom but he you are hating on them. Yet the guy who abandons his child never ever cops any kind of hate for doing so. It's only ever the single moms who cop the hate and backlash

[Brando10222]

I'm sorry you had to go through it. But it's not your fault. It's that person's fault who treated you like that and felt you alone with the child.

[Berethor]

Most single moms are single moms by choice, also many girls choose bad boys, it their problem.

[Asker]

Here is the thing many guys start out being sweet and kind but as time goes on that is when their true colours show and you see they are a bad guy but by than you are married and have a baby on the way. Why should the girl cop all of the hate, when the guy is not innocent. Why isn't the guy coping hate for abandoning his child? Abandoning your child is far worse than being a single mom, yet guys don't cop any kind of hate for abandoning their child. Instead they always seem to receive praise and get passes.

At the end of the day Why should a single mom be hated on especially if no one knows their circumstances as to why they are single mom's.
I get some choose to be single moms but I don't think it is right for anyone to judge a single mom for any kind of reason.

[Berethor]

They receive praise and get passes because a lot of girls like bad boys.