How do you feel about holding hands on a first date?

[OlderAndWiser]

A beginning. . .

I know that some people expect to have sex on a first date and holding hands means absolutely nothing to them, but other people don't even kiss on a first date and holding hands IS a big deal. While I hope that I will get a good night kiss at the end of a first date, I don't expect it; for me, holding hands is an exciting milestone on a first date. It's a way of establishing a small degree of intimacy in a non-sexual way that is not threatening to most people. If a lady will hold my hand for more than a few seconds on a first date, I take that as a sign that she likes being with me and is wanting to encourage me.

What does holding hands on a first date mean to you?

I've never had a first date

I've had first dates but never held hands on a first date

I've had first dates and held hands but it makes me feel uncomfortable

I've had first dates and held hands. It doesn't do anything for me but if my date wants to do it, that's okay.

I've had first dates and held hands and I usually enjoy it.

I've had first dates and held hands but I expect to kiss or make out, so holding hands is a minor matter.

I've had first dates and held hands but I expect to have sex on a first date, so holding hands is nothing!

[Can_I_Get_a_Do-Over]

I’ve never held hands on a first meeting. Is a meeting a date? Probably not. If the first meeting goes beyond 45 minutes, I think I kind of like the guy. If it’s 60+ minutes, then definitely yeah, I like him and some touching. Maybe his hand on my back as he opens the door for me or he reaches over the table and holds my hand. That is nice and it warms me up but not for first date sex. If it’s our second encounter, an actual first date, then yes, please hold my hand. I‘m for a bit of traditional roles, so I like it when the man advances the situation accordingly but I will definitively send flirty queues so he knows his advances will not be rejected. That’s fair, isn’t it?

[OlderAndWiser]

Eminently fair!

[aicarg]

As you've clearly stated, holding hands establishes a level of trust and intimacy. It is something that I'm completely comfortable doing and will initiate during small talk or when we're walking around as long as I feel that he's connecting with me. A kiss or a makeout session highly depends on how the pace of the date is moving, if it's natural and not forced and he initiates it, I'll go for a kiss. I however don't do sex on a first date and not much until we've established what the relationship is, and if I know that we have reciprocal feelings for eachother.

[CallMeDave]

As far as I can remember I have never done that and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have. I think holding hands is a sign of intimacy and connection that's beyond what can be established on a first date. For me, physical contact on a first date is usually limited to a quick hug and/or goodnight kiss.

I know people have sex on the first date but I personally can't imagine doing that. I feel like an emotional connection needs to be established before having any significant physical contact and I just don't think that can happen in a single date, no matter how well it goes.

[coachTanthony]

Unless you are roller skating... don't do it!

There has to be a reason for doing it! You don't want to send a "Relationship vibe" to them on the very first date!

[OlderAndWiser]

Roller skating? I guess you don't recommend the horizontal mambo, either! :) :) :)

[coachTanthony]

@OlderAndWiser You want to grab her hand and escort her through a door GREAT... do it! You want to grab her hand and LEAD her to the next bar next door... great do it! You want to grab her hand and gently put her in a cab... do it!

If THIS is what you mean then yeah I am all for it brother!

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, that's usually the extent of it for me.

[redpanda_]

Some hand holding to a kiss and gentle touching elsewhere (ie a hand on the bottom of my back and face stroking) is all fine with me for a first date, especially if I really like them. I said '.. usually enjoy it' as I did the hand-holding during and gave him a hug after (there wasn't any more touching than that) and I felt obliged to give the hug even when I felt no connection with him. Every other time there's been any kind of touching (like mentioned above), it's been fine with me and I've enjoyed it as I've connected with them and feel fine to progress to more (maybe) next time, like if I'm sitting next to them that they rub my leg or something - just as an example!

[HayleyMarie]

I selected I never held hands on a first date, but then I remembered that’s not true. This guy I dated though was a friend first, I knew him a little bit already before he ever asked me out, so I suppose I was more comfortable. First dates with guys that I’ve met online, no. With a stranger it takes time for me to warm up to them to be able to have that little bit of physical contact.

[maddog1213]

Can I ask you a question

[OlderAndWiser]

@maddog1213 I'm not sure if your request was directed to me or @HayleyMarie. You can ask me whatever question you have, if that is your desire.

[morimeme1]

Since I go on dates with people with whom I have already established contact and decided that I like them - I have no problem holding hands or hugging on the first date, helps break the physical barrier and feel more comfortable. I don't have sex or even kiss on the first date tho. Taking things slowly is best.

[FlutteringFeelings]

I’m always about the connection and “in the moment” person when it comes to dating. That does not mean I’m into doing whatever whenever but referring to the topic if I feel like there is a mutual connection and some how we so happened to slowly link hands then I am all for it. The saying “You’ll know when you know” is very precise and specific because when the connection is there nothing is forced and everything flows.

[Daniela1982]

I would classify hand holding much as I would kissing. I wouldn't do either unless I felt some kind of attraction or connection. If you hold hands or kiss anyone without some special feeling you are just cheapening the act in my opinion. You may as well walk down the street hand and hand with a couple of homeless guys.

[JackSmy]

Probably not the first date, or maybe the first few. A few ladies have taken my hand, after a few dates, and that made me smile, and they said they felt close enough, and comfortable enough that people can see us holding hands.
I've never really liked a lot of PDA things, but holding hands is nice, when she feels that way it's really a step forward in a good way.

[EmbraceThePain]

I don’t believe hand-holding is really a big deal, although I agree with what you said about what hand-holding implies, referring to a woman being comfortable/interested in you and perhaps encouraging positivity by holding hands with you during the first date.

[MelissaMarie9614]

I would most definitely love to hold hands on a first date! As long as I also get a nice long kiss in there! It makes you feel closer to them. Its definitely a turn on. I wanna hold hands and kiss on a first date (and everyday and date after that of course)❤

[whitehide]

I don't hold hands on the first date. Actually, now that I think about it, holding hands seems to be a very intimate thing where I live. Even touching someone you don't really know seems to be a bit rare here, except for handshakes which are supposed to be strong and fast.
Sorry, I went a bit off topic there.

[Jackieboi]

Weird i wouldn't like it. In fact just a while ago after meet a gal out we decided to walk to my place, she wanted to arm cross, or whatever its called the whole way. Just made for a frustratingly uncomfortable walk. Arms cross or holding hands i find a little too close on first date or meet.

[Mickey9999]

I was going to say it never occurred but actually it has. It wasn’t a formal first date but a planned outing if that really makes a difference. It was an amazing connecting experience in a non sexual way

[BrighteyedAsh]

I said I've held hands on a first date and I enjoy it but it's worth adding that (to me) it should be preceded by an obvious mutual chemistry and desire to connect.

[sjoes006]

Oh gosh, only once or twice
it it means way more than a kiss. Holding hands and wanting to is magic in a first or second date. That’s chemistry, magic in the air.

[LoU_Hades]

If I remember they grabbed always for my hands, most of them. I never considered this as desire for relationship or especially intimate, just some female hand fetish.

[taleets]

I’m not a huge fan unless we are both clearly super super into each other. That doesn’t happen very often though.

[Avicenna]

It's always been accompanied by sex on the first date when it happens. I studiously avoid doing it though, unless I am sure she wants me to and haven't done it since I was in my 20s.

[the_imperfectionist]

Well by time I have a first date with my partner, we're probably already about 1 month or so into a relationship. so holding hands is just something that happens automatically.

[Moonchild714]

I've had Sex on first dates many times, more thsn I can count. Only held hands on the first date 3 times, that is Too Intimate for me...

[Ianto]

Holding hands, beyond briefly, is actually quite intimate. I would only initiate it after the first kiss goes well. (Not including a helping hand at a step, etc) Bear in mind, I may be a bit out dated in this.

[Unirocks]

Nope. It takes me a lot more time to get comfortable enough to get physically intimate.