If a guy askes you to hang out, and you say yes, does that mean its a date for him even if for you it isn't?

[Anonymous]

just started university in a new country and they are more guys than girls in my program, I met this one guy who started talking to me casually and asked if I wanted to go to the movies sometimes I said sure, I didn't see anything wrong with just going to the movies and didn't think it was something more than that. the day after we went, he had bought the tickets before hand, when we met up he wouldn't let me pay for anything which annoyed me and even more during the movie when he actually tried to feed me a popcorn which I found completly weird and stupid, I pulled away and was wierded out the rest of the movie. afterward he insisted on taking me up untill my stop because it was late, I said goodnight and went right in. like half an hour later he sends me a text, the first of many in the next 4 days saying what fun time he had and acting all like a girl, really. the next day he texted me around 4 times offering to take me out again but I said no as I started to get freaked out. He always ended each conversation playing the friend card and putting ;) this expression afterward, offering if I needed anyhing, etc. later that day he texted me to tell me he had bought me a gift,i didn't text him back yet he still texted me two more time later that night like at around 12 and 2 am. the day after, I was getting annoyed, and found the whole to be quite ridiculous; he continued texted me, called me twice but I still didn't text back until the other day when I just had enough of the this guys intensee way and tried to make him understand that he needs to back off. texting two or 3 words at the most when replying but he still keeps on insisting. are all guys like this? in my country a guy and girl can go to the movies no problem as friends. if a guys ask you, does that means its always going to as a date?

[Anonymous]

hey I am a guy and just giving my input. but yeah most of the time if a guy askes you to "hang out" it is kind of meant towards as a date, unless he is a close friend of yours, or long time old friend that you havnt seen in for years. but wait, sometimes that old friend my had an old crush on you back in high school or something and wanted to get to know you more, and then it might be a date. I had two experiences like this, one was when I ask this girl I meant, and asked her if we can hang out sometime, she said yea, and I asked for her phone number in which she gave me, so I was like yea, she seems kind of intrested in me. but then I texted her 2 days after she gave me her number to hang out. she said yea, I paid for everything, and later on that night I tried to give her a kiss, but she said, hey umm, I didn't know this was a date. so I was stuck out, and kind of embarassed, so sometimes girls can be misleading, but what that guy did to you, well kind of stalkerish, maybe a little desperate. but yea try to show what you mean and not what you didn't mean. we are sometimes stupid minded, and tend to think the girl is intersted in me but she really isnt. so we don't know unless you tell us, or we make a move a take a chance, sometimes guys like it when girls are blunt out what they mean.

[Shine4eva64]

Because you stayed silent and never said anything thats called leading him on. When he asked you out you should have said "sure, as friends". Second you never answered his text messages. You ignored him leaving him confused. Thats pretty cruel. Basically he spent the night enjoying your company even if you didn't and you let him buy you stuff but instead of being considerate and honest you talk all about what YOU felt annoying. Thats pretty rude.

[DebiPie]

Many mistakes were made here by both of you. First of all, he most definitely asked you for a date, not to hang out. When he paid for your ticket, you should have known this was a date and insisted on repaying him for the cost if you did not consider it a date, and telling him right then that you did not have feelings for him in that way. You knew and you lead him on. You may be from another country, but you knew what was going on and you lead him on. We call that leading him on and using him.

When he started calling you and texting you, instead of being rude to him & ignoring him & sending 2 or 3 word answers you should have had the decency to tell him straight out that you did not feel for him in that way.

Girl complain about boys and men ALL THE TIME about this behavior, it's mean and cruel, and it's game playing. Woman-UP!

[Anonymous]

I don't know how old this thread is, but I am in a similar situation to you. I am studying and my class is mostly guys (there's only two other girls). One of the guys I kind of know, but don't really talk to outside of class, has asked me to see a movie with him. I thought "Yeah, I could see a movie" so I said yes.

Then it occurred to me that this could be a date. I don't want to date at the moment, so I'm a little worried he might think I am interested in him. He's a decent guy as far as I know, and because I haven't dated before I don't know how to tell him that I'm not interested in him (if this is indeed a date). I don't mind seeing a movie with him, but I have no idea what to expect if its a "first date" (if that's indeed what it is)...

[WovenEclipse]

It depends on the guy I suppose :) The guy who asked you strongly appears to have seen it as a date and it sounds like he is really into you :D Not all guys see 'going out' as a date though. I'd say guys who hang around with a lot of gals don't see it as a date, but guys who tend to stick around just guys may see it as a date. That may not be true but that's what I've gathered from personal experience :P

[rachiee]

Not all guys are like that. Its perfectly normal for two people of the opposite sex to hang out. But if you just met the person and they suggest going out one on one then usually one side considers that as a date type thing. Tell him straight up but be nice about it. Let him know that you're not looking for anything and want to just be friends.