Are you sapiosexual?

[AmandaYVR]

For a while, this was the reason for Homer's aptitude issues.

Oh yeah, baby. You betchya

I want them to be similar intelligence to me

Nah, I just like me some badonkadonk

[Obtuse]

I don't know. "Competence" holds tremendous appeal to me but we might need to expand upon the more narrowly-defined ideas of intelligence like this:

I tend to think that the type of intelligence most glorified and recognized is "logical-mathematical" and perhaps "linguistic". Yet "logical-mathematical" might be among the least appealing (I am not going to become more attracted to a woman discussing calculus with her). I would find the "intelligence" or at least "competence" of an elite athlete, musician, or artist to be more appealing than mathematical wizardry.

The quote on small talk is also one I often associate as being more in the "demisexual" range. The focus in that quote seems to be directed towards deep exchanges that reveal more about how each other think rather than robotic exchanges of knowledge.

I often thought I was working more towards the "demisexual" end as the types of conversations that deeply connect me to a woman and make her more appealing in my eyes has less to do with her regurgitating information that can be found in an academic paper or book and more to do with her subjective interpretation of it. I want to know what she subjectively thinks about it, how she feels about it, how it ties to her personal experiences, etc. I'm more interested in the "subjective" over the "objective" -- crudely speaking -- since that's a type of information I can only specifically acquire from her and no one else in the world.

[AmandaYVR]

I think you're conflating intelligence with knowledge.
No, of course the logical-mathematical is not going to be an attraction draw. It's useful in life or in business or invention, engineering, etc., but in relationships if you're stuck with one of these logic-dominant people... fuhgedaboudit. They are very unpleasant. They'll just be intolerant to the more feeling person, and will deem their emotions as flawed compared to their robotic and emotion-lacking thinking. Everyone wants someone who is kind and compassionate, at least to them (some people don't care about the world in general.)

Linguistic is helpful for expression and conveying how one feels about themselves, the world, and others. So very useful.

I posted that intelligence personality test, but the more I saw the answers roll in and thought about it, the more bunk I thought it was.

[Obtuse]

Perhaps EQ type over IQ? It's like those robotic programmer types we talked about before. They can accumulate knowledge very rapidly and solve some very complex puzzles of a mathematical sort. I find them extremely capable in the IQ sort of way but almost completely absent in EQ... or we might say they're skewed towards logical-mathematical forms of intelligence but perhaps significantly lacking in some others like interpersonal.

How do we distinguish a "demisexual" though? I suspect I still lean further towards that way because I'm minimally interested in theoretical knowledge, more interested in applied knowledge/skill/competence, and maximally interested in the subjective -- our hopes, dreams, inspirations, childhood, how we uniquely perceive the world, etc. If I'm going to be deeply attracted to a woman beyond a basic "hubba bubba", it's going to through the idea that I can so deeply relate to how she thinks and feels... to her metaphorical "heart".

It's like if you spoke to me about design:

1) You could share the theoretical knowledge with me like color theory, values, composition, the communication aspects, the most visually-oriented approaches to marketing, etc.

While that would fascinate me in an academic way, I wouldn't feel very drawn to you through such exchanges since you're teaching me things I can learn elsewhere from textbooks or other designers. I'd be getting to know mostly more about *design* rather than about *you*.

[Obtuse]

2) You could share the applied knowledge/experience/wisdom with me. At this point, we're largely departing the realm of right vs. wrong. You're sharing unique thoughts and ideas that you've personally developed navigating conflicting ideas among designers of how to do things. You share with me what you specifically think is most important in design, your unique methodology that works best for you, etc.

This will connect me much more deeply because now I am finding a lot about *you* over design (although I might still pick up some valuable design-related ideas and inspirations from a veteran), and not just what appears to be shared at face value.

In the process, you will be revealing to me a tremendous deal about how you think and not just what you think, your inner psyche, your struggles, and hopes and dreams -- what you find beautiful, what you find ugly, what you find awesome, what you find boring -- ultimately your values. There will be a tremendous amount of personal information being conveyed, especially to me, since I'm not one to just interpret these things at the bare minimum face value. I will try to project myself in your shoes and imagine how you perceive the world in the process. I can do that more now that you've revealed a tremendous amount about yourself and metaphorical "heart".

3) You just directly share less about design and more specifically what inspires you about it, how you got into it, how you think about it, how you feel about it, where you disagree with other designers and clients, etc. This operates similarly to #2 but more directly.

[Obtuse]

But also not all people who excel most at the logical-mathematical are necessarily deprived in "EQ" or interpersonal department. I've met some who are so funny, so charming, so relatable, for every 2-3 ones who are robotic.

Still, I wouldn't feel that connected discussing mathematical formulas or functions or algorithms with even the most charming among them since the subject is very emotionally dry, I think. It's not exactly a ripe source for humor:

>> Knock-knock?
>> Who's there?
>> A cubic polynomial.
>> ...

It's not exactly a subject where we can interject that much in the way of personal experiences and how we uniquely perceive the world... there is some information there of the sort when we meet innovators in the field if they described the rationale behind their innovations, but it tends to be minimal and the type of information most divorced from the logical-mathematical.

Mostly I'm interested in relating to people at the end of the day. So I tend to think I'm closer to "demisexual" than "sapiosexual". That said, I'm not really either since I can have a sexual attraction to any random women who can twerk upside-down... but I don't actually want to date her.

[jaybee281]

Yes definitely I've realized that throughout my life and it actually goes to the extent of hating stupidity to the point of intolerance (including potential friends) i know it sounds kinda bad but if the person isn't smart nor knowledgeable than it's not that i don't see a future with her it's more like i wouldn't like her to begin with (thank God a lot of girls don't like being just pretty faces while the minority are still kinda shallow so that's good)

[AmandaYVR]

That's reasonable.

[sejla]

Probably mostly attracted to a person’s intelligence but he has to possess some kindness and compassion.

[AmandaYVR]

Yeah it certainly can't be the only thing. There are plenty of crazy geniuses, or at least there have been in history, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them.

[KingdomForAKiss]

I don't think small talk neccesarily denotes a lack of intellect. Sometimes it's painfully exhausting to take up space with another person and not have something to take up that space--- without it I find that I give more attention to the other senses, which I don't care to relax or observe around people I'm not familiar with. I think that requires a general ease of self-awareness/existence, which I don't have. Or that I don't care to exercise in front of strangers.
But yes, I am attracted to intelligence. It does however have to come with a certain humbleness because an arrogant intellect is a total turn off.

[mk200195]

Not at all, I think. Sapiosexual is a person who is sexually attracted to intelligence. Well I guess i am not (not entirely). Pure intelligence, without other skills I want, is not at all sexually attractive or even attractive enough for me. So what are those other things I want? Social skills, communication skills, emotional intelligence, kindness, compassion, wisdom, introspection, awareness, a desire to learn new things, being interested in a multitude of domains, being sportif, being sorted / clear emotionally, being confident in your own skin, and so many of such other things that matter a lot to live a full, happy life. If this question wasn't about intelligence, intelligence would have featured in that list, but not first but maybe on 3 or 4 So, I'd say I am not at all sapiosexual.

[mattl338]

Well, I'm not stupid, but not the smartest, I have common sense, that's really all you need. Also the fact that I had to look up "sapiosexual" should say how intelligent I am.

[AmandaYVR]

Lolol. I like you.

[theCobbler]

Yes. Very much so! A Stimulating conversation is almost as good as great sex! I love to play chess ( although I'm not very good at it) and love it even more when I find a Lady to play chess with !
Air heads are a dime a dozen ; intelligent Ladies who aren't power tripping, are one in a thousand! Intelligence is Sexy !

[Sensmind]

I am probably a mix of a few of the "New Age" sexualities , definitely a demisexual maybe a bit of sapiosexual (I don't know all the sexualities , might have a bit of a few others ), in my day it was just called being a sensitive, intense guy haha.

[ShadowofRegret]

It's a nice trait to have, but it's not the highest thing on the list for me personally.

[AmandaYVR]

I agree.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Honestly I don't think that could exist, I mean could you really be attracted to a brain in a jar? I don't think that would happen, their has to be a physical element to it as well. That said intellect is attractive to me and I would definitely not be with some one I didn't think was intelligent.

[Desire-for-Greatness]

I always talk about these "intelligent" topics but I don't know if I'm necessarily more attracted towards those who talk about such topics neither do I feel the need to make a silly word like Sapiosexual to explain such a phenomenon.

I'm sure Tumblr will make this a new gender at some point if they haven't already.

[Dongtai]

No. Intelligence is a huge turn on for me but being female is still a requirement to trigger that sexual desire within me. I remember meeting this girl at school who told me she was a bio engineer major and she started talking to me about stem cells and I got rock hard. It’s extremely rare to find girls who have both a hot body AND an intelligent mind. But yeah if a guy talked to me about stem cells it definitely wouldn’t make me think about getting him into bed.

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. I think the context is within your own sexual orientation, though.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

I don't feel sexually aroused when I talk about death, books, ideas for horror, sci-fictons, puzzle games, history, wars, stats, fall factors, pandemics, social psychology, self-improvement, food combination, irrationality, the universe, climate change, existentialism. Therefore, I'm not sapiosexual. I'm just drawn to people who have these kinds of topics in their heads.

[Lliam]

Is that the same as being a sap? haha

I'm very much attracted to intellect, wit and wisdom. But not sexually aroused by it. So I guess I'm not sapiosexual, although I might be a great big sap.

[Teyfet]

A woman who can tickle my frontal lobes & stroke my amygdala is ubersexy.

[FictionalCharacter]

I may be sapiosexual, but to guys I’m still a dumbass 😅

[Kezzz]

Well intelligence has always been attractive to me so if I met a woman we with wisdom and intelligence, there's a good chance that I'll be attracted to her or fall for her.

[0112358]

Not intentionally. I’m terrible at flirting with women who aren’t smart though.

[LEADFOOTboi]

i'd like someone as intelligent as me or more... AND THAT ain't HARD TO ACCOMPLISH XD... not that i find it sexually arousing... but it makes for better gettin to know the person

[LoU_Hades]

Yes, but only in long run. In less serious relationships you know it's set to fail from beginning, it's only necessary that girls don't bring you in troubles with their BF/Spouses... etc.

[AmandaYVR]

Ay yay yay. Think you should have said that one in your inside voice. You sure you wanna make that public?

[LoU_Hades]

yes I had such a thought but the following one was 'damn do what you want you're anonymous'

[clampfan101]

Well, it doesn’t get exactly get me hard. But I do find intelligent women extremely attractive. (btw, how many words end with “sexual”? Geez. lol)

[whitehide]

It doesn't really arouse me, but it makes me more interested in learning more about the person.