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Yeah, I got to that point, too. I'd say 8 years. 19-27. I had issues, existential crisis, fundamental opposition to life. It took a long time. I lost many loved ones up to 19, and had to cut off many others whom were bad influences. Girlfriends dead, bleeding out on the bathroom floor; friends dead, jailed, or just got tired of my shit. It was an extremely harsh adaption. After all, humans aren't meant to be alone. We're incredibly social animals. Pack animals. The herd is where we belong, and without that, there are severe detriments. But after a time, you grow used to the cold and dark loneliness.
Sure, every now and then, pulses of loneliness will grow stronger, but it's easy enough with practice to ignore them or distract yourself and redirect your focus.
I was alone for a very long time. So. What can you do to cope? Distraction. That's ultimately what it boils down to. Learning distraction and how to redirect your focus to other things. Generally meaningless stuff like video games or media or books or, say, GirlsAskGuys.
A caveat though is that while the worst thing in life is people, people also happen to be the best thing in life. So, my coping means to adapt to being alone was essentially to become a person who was capable of finding people to be with, so that I wasn't alone.
You may not like women. You may resent them, too, perhaps for their high expectations or often narcissistic, self-centered trivialities, or perhaps for their sexual nature and its seemingly inherent opposition to malekind's. Certainly women have plenty of those complaints in regards to men. But the thing is women are, in effect, the regulating factor of men. They give motivation to achieve and build and grow.
I'll tell you. There's nothing better than falling asleep next to a woman. Forget the sex, there's nothing better than whispers in bed and her grooming you or playing with your hair or giving you a massage. It's one of the best things in the world, having someone to be there for you. Of course, you also risk the most terrible pain in the world if it goes wrong. But. Nothing is gained in this world without taking on risks.
Well good news is once you dont care your more likely to get one, girls are weird like that, showing a stfongbintedest somehow pushes them away, being indifferent to weither theyre around or not makes them wonder how you feel about them, and THATS what makes them like you.
Anyway to answer your question I've only ever had a girlfriend in high school so I've been single. . .11 years?
I just didn't care for most of it, I'm not around single women much so it's not like I'm constantly rejected, last year I started to care and started to try to find one, not easy cause I didn't know shit about dating then, the lack of matches was really discouraging but k kept trying, my female friend has told me a lot, she was nice enough to tell me what I did right and wrong with her cause yeah I liked her. I've been learning what I can online, it's why I'm here now. I now know much more than i did this time last year, I'm talking to a few girls on snap, my odds are much better now, more confidence and better self esteem.
Tho the more i learn about what the like it does make me a bit less interested cause most of them really like stupid mind games, nothingbis straight forward with them
look, thats a trap. Loneliness makes you think you dont want love, you only see bad sides to it. But every human has the need for intimacy and love is wonderful. Its just not easy to find good partner that maches you. And one has to come in terms with life dificulties, the way life is usually isn't how we like it to be. But it can be close to it if you are willing to bent a bit and try to see thigns from different perspective. Its damn hard. One think also is self work, however cliche that sounds, but it is. Life can be hard but you also stop you. I see nothing wrong with being alone till 31 except feel sad that life is like that and people have such dificulty finding someone for them. You have to know you are nothing less worthy for being alone for so long. Every relationship is different, its better not to have baggage but its also hard to be alone for so long. Bunch of relationships are crap. What i learned and always tell myself - nothing is as it seems. If you really look around most people are not really happy they may just be better at faking it. So try to be more positive and not bring ysf down. You are lovable and if you dont give up on love you have more chances of finding it. But take it at your own pace, its okay.
Currently at 12 years of blissfully singleness and counting. Before that, it was before I got into my first relationship at 19 or 20 years old.
As for how I deal with being single that long? I just do. I have hobbies, friends I talk to, work, and I exercise regularly. Basically I keep busy.
I came to the realization years ago that it's easier and less drama being single than chasing after something that may or may not ever happen. Dating just further lowers my already crappy self esteem.
And the few relationships I've been in? Put it this way, I was better off single. All I gained from my previous relationships was knowing what I DON'T want in a man, or a relationship.
I know, I know. That sounds so cynical... well it is. But as I said, for some of us, being single is easier than dealing with constant rejection, being ghosted, ignored, manipulated, or hurt from wishywashy people that don't know what the hell they want in a relationship, so they hurt you in the process.
There is no shame in being single! No matter what society tries to brainwash people into believing.
Opinion
63Opinion
I got in a relationship at the age of 23. Do I regret being patient? No. Do I regret dating that person? Kinda in a way. Because the whole experience wasn't pleasant at all. I shouldn't dated him, but hey I learnt few things from that relationship. After I broke up. I didn't even go out with anyone for 3 years. I'm not worried about getting older even though I am a woman and we don't have as much time as me do to settle down. Because I'd rather be single and appreciate other things in life than date a wrong person and be constantly miserable and angry. See, I believe that good things takes time. Some people are lucky enough to meet their right person bit early in life, while others find theirs late in life. If it's happen, it will happen.
31 years WOW i know that sux I've done 8, this last time the first time was the longest l was 19 when i had sex for the first time, i poked around a couple of times and the next thing i new 7 years between pokes, and ice came out i started smoking pot to get girls but that shit didn't work i got to stoned to talk to them but this shit was something else entirely sence pot didn't work i didn't even think of trying to get girls with ice i just wanted to smoke for free so i started selling the next thing i new... there was a knock on the door... it was late no one comes round that late i open the door... and there she was my first ice Queen she said i know you got some shit I'll fuck for some... how much... a quarter... SHIT YEAH the hardest thing i ever did was to stop selling ice cuz i didn't have to go nowhere to get pussy it just walked right through my door... untill i stopped selling ice and 7 years later wa. wai. wait a minute who's a meth i mean math major here let's add this shit up. mmm 19 ann7 is anthin 7 is an 8 is WHOLLY FUCK BATMAN. 44 FUCIN YEARS 44 MOTHAFUCKINYEARS? Long story short it's not good to be alone you become addicted to PORN yahh i bet you didn't know that shit did ya Hah I'd go to shake a guys hand and heir would fall down to my nees when i opened my palm... thats a lye cum does not grow hair how do i no I'm bald... you sick fucks you actually think i put my own cum on my head... i put hers cuz when i went bald i started getting pussy again the thing is pussy comes with a mouth and that mouth could bitch so I'm here at the end of my last pussy depression... i said last I'm 59 years old I've jacked off more times than 5 guys will in there whole intire life and i met my best friend she is 27 YEARS OLD and gorgeous from Africa and? that story hasn't been written yet but let me tell you it will be WAY better than jackin off? NOT THE END
32. Never been on a date, sex with 1 girl (to realize fantasy doesn't equal reality). Tried to fake a pregnancy even though I wore a condom & still never came in her. Let her do it just to experience, in person, a "simulation" of a reality many men face, where she threatened, demanded, controlling.
I try to treat everyone the same, not just focus on the fantasy of something outside filling an emotional void within, as relationships are literally pools, which anyone who fits the critera wanted by the receiever gets chosen - people are disposable - although this isn't acceptable "logic" in today's "it must feel good or be removed" society.
In place of relationships, having been rejected a lot when I was younger, learned advanced meditation, focus, discipline & removed emotional addictions to outside stimulus to satisfy within, by result, find I have more empathy, ethics, values, intelligence; effectively what many women want, because I didn't get attention too early, as a result of not being able to satisfy their wants younger (had time to mature first).
Had I been in a superficial (say this because, as stated, individuals aren't valued, but traits) relationship, I would've never learned to love myself, and the only unconditional love is when it's not dependant on another's approval, as divorce is literally punishment for violation of agreement actions would give satisfaction between partners.
Don't want to run this on too long as you have other responses to read. :)
Uhh... lemme see 🤔.
Before i talk bout that, i wanna tell bout the 3 types of love in everyone's life.
1. The first love : the one where we think it's love because we don't yet understand it. But it's actually not love but just something like an infactuation.
2. The second love : this is the love that changes it all. It makes your whole life ahead and truly changes you. It'll hurt, but that pain will teach you strong lessons.
3 the true love : since you've gone through so many things in the past, it'll help find the perfect one in the future. This relationship will be the actual loving relationship.
Coming back to topic...
Had a intimate relationship with my cousin at age 9.
Then touched by a teacher in school at 13, and then that became a small thing.
Got a bj when i was 16 by my maid, and we kept fooling around for 3 months.
Fell in love for first time (thought was love) when i was 18.
After college went to work in another state. Found someone at age 22.
Fell in love (this was the 2nd love... the mistake). Got hurt like hell.
Then the third kinda love was at age 23. Found her through tinder. Been 7 months. Going happy as ever ☺️❣️.
I’m 33, single, never dated or
been in a relationship. I just haven’t met my soulmate (:
My life; however, is super busy. I am family oriented and have wonderful friends. I have a full-time job since I was 22. I’ve also been working on my higher education. Received a master’s degree and working towards a PhD. I travel a lot on my own. Exploring the world is just awesome.
And until I meet the “one“, I’m super happy with my life.
28yrs.
Been single and lonely my entire life. Not that I wanted to or had a valid reason. Depressed for soon to be 14 years. Not handling it well at all but I have friends in similar situations that, like you I guess, don't care anymore. In a way I am envious of being able to have that mindset, to just be content with working 80% of your wakeful time, gaming 10% and surviving 10%.
But I feel like that's impossible for me. It would mean giving up to me. I just can't do that. I want to feel alive, to cuddle, to be allowed to care, to have someone that wants me.. even if only for awhile.
Rather lived and lost than not at all. But it's easy to say and relative to what kind of life you DO have. 'Cause we all have a life even if it's not THE life. And just a life is just as worth living as any.
My life is sad and pathetic. And i hate it. But its a life. And unless I change it by changing myself, nothing will.
I’m 30 and still single. My last relationship (not really a relationship, just hand holding) was 16 years ago in high school. He broke up with me cause his mom told him to.
I've had some emotional problems I’ve been working with and healing. That I haven’t dated or gotten into a relationship as the years went on.
That sorta recently last year, I decided to try online dating. To work on my communication and social skills. That it didn’t exactly work out. I was disrespected and judged on my lifestyle. For being a Virgin with no job due to social anxiety and shyness.
So, now I’m taking baby steps to grow and hope someone likes me as I am.
I think it depends on circumstances. When people say they are single i always question to what degree?
Are single but causally dating someone?
Are you single but have regular sex/friends with benefits?
Are you single and going on as many dates as possible?
Are you single and at talking stages?
Or are you single and not any of the above and completely single single?
I think this is important because the last option can be really depressing but if you not attached to someone but still having fun as it were it doesn't make you feel as alone
8 years. For me. I was in a relationship with a girl i really loved and it all fell apart then the next girl i dated ended up destroying my confidence. After a parent got sick so i have been taking care of them and now no one really wants to be with someone who is like me so i expect that number to keep growing. Relationships aren't for everyone as long as you are happy being alone, do what you want. With the right person though, life becomes a so much more wonderful place. As long as you are happy, that is what matters most.
Huhuhuhuhuh...
If dating with a "boyfriend" approx for 2 months is counted. I have been single for 16 years.
If that isn't, it's 35 years so far.
My life was dedicated to volunteering (10 + years) in hope that I can practice languages and social skills, then one day I'd go aboard from my own talents. I prefer working alone at home, or with kids rather than working in an office.
Hobbies and reading keep me alive.
My last relationship was about 2 years. I decided to be single to process a broken heart.
Meditation is my therapy. Art is my therapist. My emotion is my in every stroke of my pencil or brush.
Just challenge yourself and your beliefs. You don’t know what you don’t know.
I've never been in a relationship. It used to bother me, but now I'm ok with it. If I dated anyone, I probably would end up being in a abusive relationship, so I might as well remain single.
Plus, now I have other goals in life and I must focus on them. And even if I wanted to get a boyfriend where I live, it would be impossible.
Just because you're single, it doesn't mean you're alone. You can have a good relationship with your family and amazing friends.
20 years lol it's not too bad, I would actually be freaking out if I was 30 though, sorry dude, honestly, i just talk to friends and family and occupy myself with hobbies, also don't watch anything to do with romance or love, for me, it just makes me irritated lol
10 years
My partner died when our daughter was two. I wasn't interested in dating or a new relationship. I dedicated my time in working full-time and raising our daughther.
I didn't miss being in a relationship as per se, but I missed my partner so much.
I’ve been single my entire life and I really don’t mind it. Being in a relationship isn’t something that worries because there’s more to life and things to enjoy. I’ll meet my partner at some point but between then and now, I’m just enjoying life and making memories.
I think that's okay if you like living alone but trust me, you shouldn't need to live alone! You need to interact with your family members, and it's okay if you don't feel like having friends, but you need to socialise! I am 19 years old and I have not been in any relationahips & I am happy being single!
I'm 24 and never had an official relationship (excluding elementary playground stuff. Lol) I understand how it can be beneficial to an extent but at the same time, I want to spend my life around other people or a significant other, i love people to much, I'd be giving up on to much to not try. That's just me, were not all the same.
I had my first boyfriend at 16 and I really haven’t been alone since then. There were periods where I was single, but I’ve always had friends with benefits to fill those gaps. Once I started flirting and dating I got pretty good at it. I kind of always have a dude at my side.
My whole life as well.
I don't like the company of women either, and I struggle to articulate why...
I suppose I feel like I'd trust the devil himself before a woman. They make me feel so insecure and pathetic, even though in reality they're the ones inferior to me in every way.
I had a boyfriend for 2 years and a half when I was 18/19. Our breakup wasn't easy and he hurt me really badly. So I think I stayed single three or four years after the break up. Not by choice but because I didn't meet anyone who made me fell in love.
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