When you are on a date, do you want, or not want, to hear about the other person's past relationships? (Page 2)

Question

Let's assume, here, that it's a date, not a hookup. You're trying to get to know the person. They're not freshly off a really bad breakup.  They're not angry and ranting.  You're not a rebound person to them.  A decent amount of time has passed since they've been in these relationships, so their emotions are not too heated, but they do have some feelings of love, pain, etc. Now, do you want, or not want, to hear about their past relationships and people? Does it make a difference whether it's the first date, or subsequent dates? If you are answering yes, I assume you want to hear a bit about it, but not take up the whole date. That doesn't need to be specified.  There's no right or wrong answer here. I'm just curious, because I've heard people with strong opinions on this. My opinion is that I want to know. It's interesting to me, and it's informative.  I would be worried, though, that if I ask, it could open up a whole can of worms, and the person might get in a certain mood, and/or it could be hard to get them off the topic, once started. So then I have to think, is it worth the risk? And in most cases, I would probably err on 'yes.' Except if the date was going really, really well, and we were both flirting and having a lot of fun with banter. Then I wouldn't want to talk about anything serious at all. I'd want to live in that moment, and stretch it out as long as possible, no distractions. But if the date was more serious, had more lulls in conversation, I would ask the question.

nictarleton27 · Answer

Maybe there are some red flags and knowing a little of the split might shed some light!

LonewolfMeme · Answer

See I usually ask that before we date though with one guy it came out during our relationship since he wasn't able to bring it up but usually talk about that before we go anywhere so I know what I'm dealing with.

TheDad75 · Answer

It depends how far into the relationship we are. Not on a first date. Probably not within the first 5 or 6 dates.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I want to have that conversation before we even go on the date.

jemf1982 · Answer

It's those past relationships that we failed at, that makes uus the way we are today. Hearing their past may give valuable knowledge on how they see life with you can or can not be.

On_the_other_hand · Answer

When you know a persons past you can better navigate the relationship. And make informed decisions if you want to continue.

zagor · Answer

Something in passing is OK, but not a long monologue.

clampfan101 · Answer

I wouldn’t bring it up on the first date, but I’ll talk about it if she asks.

Angieeebabieee · Answer

If they feel comfortable to share than sure. It's not something I would intentionally bring up on a first date though.

klpic · Answer

A lot depends on Number of dates you have been on. i think you need to find out more info if it looks like it might get to full on status then yes ask a few questions. good luck

LovingLover · Answer

Not. But let allthings unfold naturally ... what they say is useful info. How they view the ex... for me to determine any red flags.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

the date is about getting to know them better and not all about how bad their last date was or their ex- spouse was

Quidthonian · Answer

Yes, I would want to know. I would want to know what triggers them and what doesn't do it for them. The topic can't be pushed through. If the person, or me, drift away then that is fine. This will leave more information for later.

imfreeze95 · Answer

I need to no what not to do. If I want our relationship to work.

Agem123 · Answer

Only if I ask, not him bringing it up. And also, no details please.

yofuknutz · Answer

As a matter of fact I would like to interview previous relationships to establish a pattern and how to avoid the pitfalls and our current relationship

Slim57 · Answer

I'm an open book so I like talking about it but I don't expect them to be, but I prefer it just to get some history

Dansnlawlipop · Answer

Yes, as a way to understand their past dating habits/attitudes/etc...

Kitty46 · Answer

I think it is important to share, but not right away, that what people tell me & you shouldn’t force them to tell you when they not ready. And also talk about their sexual history, I guess.

douride2 · Answer

Hearing about past relationships is the last thin I want to talk about on a date. Even after we have been together for a period of time I would rather not hear about it.

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

It's a delicate balance. You don't want to come off as inexperienced but at the same time you shouldn't come off as a whore. It's one thing to mention that you have an ex, it's another to dwell on them.

mrgspoter · Answer

I don't mind if it holds some reliant info or it's a turn off like they still have feelings

BCA6010 · Answer

Unless there's some kind of traumatizing experience, I don't. I really don't.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Past is the past. Not relevant as far as i'm concerned. The only thing that is relevant is if they have kids from previous relationships.

Rocco7070 · Answer

I like to up to a point, you get to know their thoughts etc

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I don't care to hear about a girls past with other guys all matters is she's disease-free

Prettysammie · Answer

Oh God no. I don’t want to talk about my past and I certainly don’t want to date another guy who just talks about his ex girlfriend

michael45 · Answer

On the first date I had with my now fiancee, she told me she had a girlfriend before me. I was like cool. If she told me she cheated in the past, it'd have been a red flag.

MrMilti · Answer

Only when I bring it up and ask her. Obviously, she can do the same.

LEADFOOTboi · Answer

thats' suff you text about... not on a friggin date... that's wasting your time

Liam_Hayden · Answer

I do not want to know unless we get to the point of considering a relationship.

Likes2drive · Answer

Very little of it just as I’m sure they don’t want to hear much about mine

elihand1234 · Answer

I think its helpful, because it helps you figure out how to be a better boyfriend by knowing what she broke up with guys for

Gedaria · Answer

It would be good to know , but I would like to get to know her first...

Heartonmysleeve88 · Answer

I do not want to hear about it, it is the past, move on and buy yourselves a damn diary.

19vetteman91 · Answer

It's always best to never bring up past dates while in a date

TheAfrikan · Answer

It would not be wrong knowing about my partner more. So if am out of topics then that would come inas a by the way.

tjbyrd39 · Answer

I mean if they got some good kinky stories might learn something. Might find out something I'd like to try

1stranger · Answer

What I want to hear is their reason for leaving.

Nicholas1326 · Answer

I'd be open to hearing them and vice-versa. At some point.

admles · Answer

I have pretty much zero interest in ever hearing about their past relationships.

FashionistaDiva12345 · Answer

Not really what’s in the Past is the Is Past I don’t wanna be compared or “remind you of your ex”.

ROB15656 · Answer

I don’t mind hearing about it. Most of the time I usually ask anyway..

magiusX26 · Answer

yes but not on the 1st date

supercutebutt · Answer

Nobody wants to hear that shit.

5points2gspot · Answer

It doesn’t matter to me.

BlackCatBone · Answer

I want their resume obviously.

RingOfFire · Answer

That would be no. Save that for later.

Morganhonestanswer · Answer

Fuck no pretend that you've never had one

Shellyworld · Answer

No not on the first dates

msc545 · Answer

I really don't need to hear about them.

bigstic507 · Answer

Dep3nds always good to find out info

Broken_doll · Answer

At my age, yes lol

allenwants2 · Answer

Yes it's ok

rcw245 · Answer

Definitely not

When you are on a date, do you want, or not want, to hear about the other person's past relationships? (Page 2)

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