My mom keeps pressuring me to get married when it is not up to me?

Question

i am 30 years old, my mom keeps pressuring me to get married. if it were that simple, i would of already been married. i told my mom, its not fair for you to pressure me when i havn't found the right guy yet. she said, you would of already had 3 kids by now, its not good to have kids after age 35. funny part is, were are middle eastern and SHE GOT MARRIED AT 30 which was even more frowned upon back in the day and i know she got desperate and married my father and she has a miserable marriage with him. something else, i dont even look 30, everyone thinks im 22 or 25. i just dont know what to do, how is that fair to me when it is not in my hands. it makes me feel bad about myself and it makes me feel bad for being single... i would love to meet the man of my dreams and i dont know why it has taken so long. all the guys I've talked to were not THE ONE.

fierysoul · Accepted Answer

I am from the middle east as well (Iran) I get what is your mother's concerns I know you get it as well but if you give in to your mother's will it won't end well the old age is passing (sound like lord of the rings!)
you can't get married to the wrong guy I say its better to live single than a damn relation or marriage with the wrong guy or the wrong women

but also how you would know he or she is the one?

3 years ago I meet a girl who I fell madly in love with her but we didn't match each other

worse she didn't like me so the point is you never know who is the one neither would you know could you get together or not

hope this will help you I think you need to wait and try to find the right person and if you didn't find him still it's better than a rushed marriage.

maxdoesss · Accepted Answer

She's not wrong, but you aren't either. Question is, what does this man of your dreams look like? And are you the woman of his dreams? If you're not, you either have to become that woman or drop your standards. While having kids earlier is biologically optimal, ultimately it's your decision to make. Just make sure you don't have any regrets. Women waiting for the man of their dreams only to fall flat on their expectations seems to be an increasingly common trope nowadays.

yucychan · Accepted Answer

I thought when your mum pressurized you to get married, you already had a boyfriend, already been with him a couple of years etc.
If you are not with anyone, then who does she want you to get married to?
Did she even introduce you to any guy she found suitable?
I just find it funny that she kept pushing you to get married but there's no one in mind. She must have someone in mind, right?

A_Bell · Accepted Answer

I am 25 and you'd think that was the only worthy topic of consideration is when I'll get engaged or even get a regular boyfriend. My sisters (all older) are all married so all the pressure is on me.

Nephilim000 · Answer

It really isn't fair to you. Its possibly even damaging. And given her experience I don't know how she could in good conscience pressure you. Ok yes it might be frowned upon by some people. But who cares what those people think. Who are they. If they don't have anything better to do than worry about your marital status they are nobody. So unless she has prince charming tied up in a closet for you she should be quiet

Luna1998 · Answer

Wait for the one, you can be successful in something else that is not marriage. If i need to choose between being single for the less of my life or marry a guy who osnt right for me. I would go all the way for the single lady road. Show her you are capable of a lot of other stuff than to be a mom when you aren't ready.

Anonymous · Answer

It's important to find the right person so good for you for not "giving in" or settling. As for your mom, I'd simply tell her to mind her own business, as nicely as possible lol. It's your life, not hers. Butt out! lol Yes she's your mom and she cares about you, but she should also show you some respect.

Hatim4869 · Answer

Well, first of all, marriage is overrated, and making it a goal that should be reached at any cost is BS for me and it will just make you unhappy, i think you should enjoy your life to the fullest, go in dates every now and then, without having too much expectations, only time will give the answer about whether you've found the one guy you're looking for, and focus on other things that you love and wanna reach in your life

CoolGuyJoe · Answer

It's possible that she isn't happy with her decisions that led to get getting married when she did so she wants you to go down a different path that she believes will lead to your happiness.

scott04sa22 · Answer

Tell your mom it's very hard to find a good man nowadays. Tell her I've been looking for it a good women for over 20 years because everyone is so damn picky. Also a lot of guys nowadays out there just hit it and quit it then off the radar.

RHK36 · Answer

You're 30, at some point you should probably learn to block out what your parents think and say. It's your life to live, so don't feel like you need to do things when and how others expect you to do it.

Massageman · Answer

Don't jump into something you'd regret because someone else wants you to - even if it IS your mother!

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Perhaps you are just one of those who are to remain single. Not everyone who wishes to marry will do so...

Cowboy6666 · Answer

I am single too and still searching for a true lover. She just wants to see her grandchildren thats why she is curious

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Even though she is your mother you still are under no obligation to do what she says if you think it will not help you.

OddBeMe · Answer

Don't let anyone pressure you to do anything you don't want. Especially parents.

Anonymous · Answer

tell your parents to fuck off it's your life not theirs tell them to quit living their life through you

Anonymous · Answer

Some people never got married and never will. Tell your mom you don’t want to be married at all, this way she can leave you alone.

mrgspoter · Answer

Maybe cause your a good catch she thinks your wasting time?

Dave31989 · Answer

you're not getting any younger though

Anonymous · Answer

Well what are you looking for?

Anonymous · Answer

Hmm so let's get married!!

My mom keeps pressuring me to get married when it is not up to me?

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