Why can't my boyfriend keep it up?

[Anonymous]

He says it's just because he's tired.
Recently my boyfriend and I have both quit our jobs to take a month off, my step dad has jobs he wants us to take in February but we know once we start it'll be 80 hour weeks. So we decided to take time off.
We are about 2 weeks in, and since he's quit we've been having sex about 0nce every 2-3 days. Before we were doing it usually just once a week. He is a 30 year old man, and I'm almost 23. I Weigh 140 pounds, but I'm short so I do think I look a little plump. He says that isn't true. But today he couldn't keep it up when we were trying to do it. It's happened a few times before though and every time I kinda end up feeling bad about myself. Nothing makes you feel more fat and ugly then when a guy can't even stay hard.

He said it's just because he's tired. Could this be true? He is 8 years older than me. Or is this something he's probably just saying to make me feel better?

[JackofSpades]

It can be finicky sometimes.

And it probably has nothing to do with you.

It could be that he is tired it could be a health issue it could even be stress.

And let me tell you another thing. He's probably just as embarrassed and upset as you are.

As men we've got this idea in our head that we need to be these virile alpha chads and if we can't make our girl happy because we can't get it up, it's embarrassing as hell, and we feel like something is wrong with us.

If you want my advice next time y'all have sex let him know that there's no pressure and that you're happy just to spend this time with him doing whatever with your bodies, cuddle, massage, hands, mouth, whatever.

If it's happened a few times before it can probably make him nervous ans stressed out trying to make sure it doesn't happen again and that will only make matters worse.

Try to be gentle and encouraging with him and if the problem persists you can always try rings or pills down the road.

Sorry for the fluffing book. I couldn't be bothered to make it shorter.

[Asker]

No I'm glad you didn't! It kinda made me feel a little better, because when it happens? From a girls perspective, it just makes you feel so ugly and fat and like nothing. It gets to be really hurtful when you feel like you aren't good enough. And he did get pretty mad when it happened. He said he didn't know what was wrong with him and just got mad.
And I tried to make him less mad, mean for me it was still good. I mean we've been together for 4 years he knows what to do, like I'd already finished within ten minutes? The rest for me was just extra. I Just felt bad that I couldn't do the same for him

[JackofSpades]

Glad I could make you feel better at least, and that I'm not just pissing in the wind when I'm dicking around on this site.

I'm hoping for the best for you two and that maybe this is just a passing issue and not something long-term that he'll need pills for.

Thirty seems kinda young to develop an ED problem.

[Asker]

Well I don't mean he's done it a lot RECENTLY, it's just BEFORE it's happened, but we've been together 4 years and it's probably happened I wanna 5-6 times MAX but maybe less?
I don't know hrs just the only man I've ever been with, before him I was homeschooled and everything, so he was my first kiss and every. So to me I just don't know how to handle it when it goes down. I don't know what's normal or not

[locutus9999]

sorry... but stop being that self centered, how do you think he feels? with all the pressure to perform?, as not every time women can orgams , not every time a guy will perform... somethimes you had a shitty day , lots on your head... and plus you HAVE to do it cause she is in to it... give your guy a bit of space. imagine now he notice if he don't perform one night he have to deal with his and your feelings. I can assure you is not about you, dont make this become abut you... if you just could undertand all the shit a guy goes in a normal day, not counting the bad ones, then if they ask you how are you have to lie *im ok*, and plus have to perform... you know... somethines i just dont go... wen i am tired and bored and i notice she have gone a couple times and started to freack out i fake. would be better if she doent make the problem about herself... so i can relax and go? I will highly recommend you to, calm donw... and check the mood of your couple before even get horny. then make with him some activity that relax you both... use some of the resourses women have... wommen are quite good at relaxing... and after that. he may be in the mood. is not you... is him, so dont make it traumatic for him or he will do it less and less... is just something that happens, nothing to be worry about.

[iseekpinetrees]

Does he smoke guys who smoke have ed problems. But otherwise yes being tired or taking allergy pills renders my hubby powerless lol

[Asker]

He does not, though he used to, but he quit long before we ever got together

[GingerGuy]

There's so many things that can affect our erections, not just his attraction to you. Everything from tiredness, diet, medications, stress, drugs etc. Sometimes it can be for no "reason" and just our bodies that day. But if it's an ongoing thing, then probably some reason. My guess though in this case, it's stress and not working, and/or what's to come. He's maybe just not focused on sex and thinking too much about other things.

[bowenw]

There are a few reasons he may not stay hard. He could be cheating, masturbating a lot, needs counselling, is drinking a lot, or has a medical issue such as depression. It could also be a side effect of medication.

[Asker]

Oh it's none of those things for certain. Dude literally broke his toe by rolling over it with an electric pallet jack and would only take HALF an ibuprofen a day. Drinking is not an issue with him AT ALL, and the idea of him cheating is laughable thank God. We've been together none stop for 2 weeks now and he hasn't left the house at all, and I keep a close eye on his phone. (I'm kinda embarrassed by that though, I get pretty jealous) but in the past any time I've gotten upset about him even having some girl added on Facebook, like he had a girl he slept with 1 time 10 years ago is on there, I got upset. They hadn't. Spoken really, every FEW YEARS she asked how he was and that was it. He deleted her immediately. And anyone else I've requested. He's not a cheater

[bowenw]

It could be a one-time thing. If it continues suggest he see his doctor.

[jasco]

Well he's 30, you been doing at least 2 times a week, and unlike a women we men do need a recharge period. We can't stay hard all the time, we need to rest sometimes

[Anonymous]

From experience i have had that experience when the chick moans in a weird way, has a smelly pussy or just overweight and pussy muscles are to lazy and relaxed all the time before we even start having sex it's like a loss wet octopus lol. If that ain't the case, some other girl caught the eye or your ahit ia getting boring.

[Miristheiss]

I do not know.
If he masturbates tell him to stop, that can affect it.

[Anonymous]

how short are you? A lot of men don't have the heart to be honest with a woman about her weight... I wonder why XD I would just be like 'hey, you could lose some weight'

[Asker]

I'm 5 foot, and have been trying to lose weight, I started at 157 about 6 months ago and so I've lost almost 20 pounds and still trying. I just get frustrated because girls that are taller and weight more than me look thinner because it's more distributed

[Opinion Owner]

Well good job, you're gettin there, keep going

[Asker]

It's just hard, up until this month for the past 2 years I've been working 60 hour weeks. And onto of that before I started birth control I was one of those girls that had never even TOUCHED 100 pounds. So I got on it for him because I want a house before we have babies, but then the weight just threw itself at me SO FAST. I didn't even realize until it was too late. Then working so much it's really REALLY hard to go home and work out on top of house work D: but it's slowly going down

[Opinion Owner]

yeah birth control is totally unnatural. Have sex, raise the kids, live healthier

[Matt3]

you need to make him happy.
sucking a lot
you can also ask him
what does he like?

[Avicenna]

It is most likely stress. It’s not your looks.

[JoshMacDonald]

Depression can actually affect that as well.

[JoshMacDonald]

95% of the time of a man can’t keep it up it has absolutely nothing to do with the woman. The other 5% it’s generally a woman he doesn’t care about.

[Fuentes]

I hope that doesn't happen to me when im 30 lol

[Jmmmfi4]

You shouldn't think it's a reflection upon you

[COMMODOREII]

He's got ED