Rejection is not rude. If it is then it means that you have to accept every man who pursues you in order to be polite. So since that's ridiculous, so is the former. As for your situation, you dodged a bullet had you been single. People who are persistent like this are often times not very healthy emotionally. What's the point in knowing WHY when the counter reaction is going to be to call you rude or worse? If you make it clear that you aren't interested and also want nothing further to do with him, then anything after this is harassment. Sometimes police stations have pamphlets on criminal harassment. You can give him a copy if he needs it. Good luck!
He sounds like a typical "nice guy"-- they desperately want to be with you... but then you upset them by telling them what they don't want to hear and then they just magically switch on you and start being mean. I'd just ignore them... but if it really got to be a problem I'd get some other people involved so he would stop bothering you. I don't think its rude that you told him how you really feel. You did good.
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I would prefer being told that and I don't consider it rude at all.
Stringing along someone is worse.
I think "not my type" is insulting.
Hear me out - If you told me that you weren't attracted to me, I would understand. We all see some other people as unattractive.
But when you say I'm not your type, what I'm hearing is that I'm a group member of an unknown (to me) 'type' of person, and something about me, physical or whatever character flaw that turns you off to me, that it makes me un-dateable.
In my mind, there's only so many generally different 'types' of men out there, and I'm apparently in a group with that has a repulsing quality. How many other women also immediately put me into this group? Am I unattractive and don't realize it? Ego and confidence deflate.
So yes, I'd say consider how you word it. It's better for me to hear that I'm unattractive to one girl than to hear that I'm unattractive to a whole group of them, which reinforces the feeling unattractive.
This is why men are so often emotionally unavailable - lots of unintentional hurt gets done to us. This is just a drop in the ocean.
Some people just can’t accept rejection and can’t take no for an answer , and that’s when things get creepy , best thing for you to do is stay away from this guy as much as possible and block him on social media apps and hopefully he gets the hint that he doesn’t have a chance and that you are not interested in the least , and the fact that you already have a boyfriend and he is still coming onto you is pretty messed up , so if this guy still doesn’t stop then it’s time to call the police on him for harassment , if he starts showing up at your work place or wherever stalking you, then you have every right to call the police on him and get a restraining order on his ass. So it’s not rude to reject someone and tell them the truth it’s rude when they can’t take No for answer , Rejection does suck when we really like someone and they don’t like us back the same. But you move on and get over it , people that can’t move on , and get over it are people that have mental illness and that’s when it gets creepy and scary , I had a girl stalk me and and didn’t take no for an answer , I tried killing her with kindness to get her to stop , and I lied and told her I had a girlfriend but she didn’t care , so it got so bad that I basically had to block her on social media apps and ignore her completely , I eventually moved away so that kind of eliminated her stalking me , I didn’t move because of her but it helped lol So if I wasn’t moving I would of called the cops on her and filed a restraining order for harassment. Hopefully you don’t have to get to the point with this guy but if you do so be it , it’s better to be safe than sorry
I think many girls and women make this mistake, they play a guys or man’s emotions. It could be for a variety of reasons — she’s bored, she’s getting over a break up and wants to someone “new”. Guys assume if a girl is talking to him than it may lead to somewhere (sex, relationship). Let’s be honest it’s easier for a woman or a girl to get courted by different males even if she’s shy. But if a guy or a man is shy not only will he not get attention but he’s more likely to be rejected. I mean there’s no perfect way to reject someone. It’s like if I applied for a job I really wanted but got denied and the email I got was “we think you are a terrific candidate and we enjoyed the interview but we went forward with another candidate” it sucks. Also, sometimes when guys are persistent it’s also depicted in movies and real life. How far is a guy willing to go to get the girl mentality. I know a girl who posted something on her IG story with a quote that says “if he loves you he will go the distance for you”. Sounds nice right?
But that doesn’t apply for everyone. I think the best way to tell a guy is “hey listen, I don’t want to string you along because it would not be fair to you” then tell him “you are attracted to me but if a 400 pound girl with pimples asked you out wouldn’t you reject her because she’s not your type?”. Tell him what he did wrong so he can improve himself and focus on himself in the future to find another girl. Any guy with common sense should say at least she was honest I should leave her alone. If a guy doesn’t leave a girl alone well then a guy shouldn’t cry if he gets kicked in the nuts by her and had the cops called on him.
Well it’s okay to have a preference and most people do but it can be a blow to someone’s confidence if it comes up all of a sudden. I think you should just say you’re not compatible instead of not your type because that just sounds less insulting I suppose. Some people take “not my type” as an insult. Though it isn’t. Everything is in the eye of the beholder. Some of us like chocolate pudding and some of us don’t. It’s okay if someone doesn’t like us because another person will find us perfect but not everyone understands that in the moment. They can get hurt and it can ruin their confidence if they really like the person delivering the message. Be kind and considerate of the effect of your words on any person but be honest and don’t lead anyone on. If you don’t want to be with someone then tell them but tell them in the nicest way so they don’t get very hurt.
No it is not. He wanted to know, he got his answer.
Similar thing happened with me lately. A guy friend of mine was asking me what I think about dating him since I broke up, and then I asked him 'well do you want me to be straightforward or sugarcoat the answer' he obviously asked me to say it honestly, so I told him that I don't like him at all and explained all the reasons.
He said that he is willing to work on those things about him that upset me and ensure that they never happen again. We'll see where this goes 😂
"Not my type" is fine. Only people with no social skills demand a reason why someone won't date them. If you are asked for a reason, give a vague reply like "I just don't think it would work". If he persists, then say "I gave you an answer and I don't want to discuss it further." Your next move is to walk away.
No it's not rude. Isn't it MORE RUDE when others wanna use you or waste your time? You're just telling the truth so keep it up. He was an entitled asshole that's why he insulted you.
I found out that my crush was also not my type after I proposed him anonymously. He literally flirted back with me like he has known me for ages and was too desperate to know who I was.
It was a huge red flag for me because he had the potential to cheat as he was soooo interested without knowing me. I then discovered that he was flirty in general. He was little upset because I didn't told him who I was. But I couldn't hurt his feelings so I ghosted him.
No, it isn't. Moreover, it's not rude to tall someone you don't want to be involved with them regardless to your type. And if they push and want an essay answer - it's no longer rude to desxribe every little detail you don't like. Too short, too fat, boobs too small, face too ugly, whatever. Just because someone's into you doesn't turn you into a hostage of their vulnerability. And if you pathetic losers can't stand rejection - don't bother trying, seclude yourself until your oxygen wasting life is over (or, you know, grow up and realize people have every right to reject you with no reason whatsoever, deal with it).
I don’t think it’s rude if they are constantly intimidating you like that. There’s a fine line between being a gentleman and being a stalker which sounds like this situation. He may have had his ego bruised when you were honest, but you can’t lie to someone and then betray them it’s awful. It’s better to be truthful even if it’s hard to do, as for his behaviour. If he keeps messaging you to harass you, you should not indulge him and giving the responses he’s after, ignore the messages, usually they lose power when you control the situation. Just block him, so you won’t have to deal with it anymore, you’ve been too patient with him you’ve given him a reason already he needs to move on. This is bordering on crazy stalker level and it’s scary. You don’t owe him anything further, it sounds like you dodged a bullet when you rejected him this behaviour is not healthy.
No. There are some people I’d rather stay single than to date. That passive aggressive attitude is a very clear indication of his insecurity after rejection. And some guys will even deny that insecurity until later on.
Some people I just wouldn’t be with at all. And if he asks my reason, I’ll tell him that. Whether he gets upset and shows insecurity is on him. Might as well take it and move on.
The way I see it, if you’re dating someone it’s because you’re attracted to that person. I mean isn’t dating someone ultimately because you want to spend the rest of your life with that person? And if that person isn’t the person you’re attracted to, why stay.
Personally I don't find it to be rude.. instead I find it to be respectful. I think its better to say exactly what you think and feel that way there are no misunderstandings and the other person doesn't feel as though they were led on. I think its commendable that you put your thoughts and feelings up front.
Easy, don't lead them on. I'm not saying you did but this is the thing women don't get. Guys learn early on generally eirher a woman likes or she doesn't and she will (subtley) let you know ( ladies if no guy is asking you out now you know why you're too subtle). Guys don't like rejection, who does! So when a guy is given a signal or multiple signals a woman is interested he feels betrayed (understandably) when she slams the door shut on him. And right now you're saying " i didn't do this" the truth is your gender does it... a lot. and there's no way he can tell which you are. At this point the fire has been lit and there's no putting it out. Don't worry he'll get over it you've wounded his pride. I also wouldn't worry about hurting his feelings or insulting him at this point the rejection already did that. Just be firm.
Tell him flat out that his behaviour is getting creepy and he should refrain from contacting you, please. The point that you are with another man is not in any way meant to demean him and he should consider courting any of the many beautiful girls available, several who are prettier than you.
If this doesn't work, he's being obstinate and rather pig-headed so you have to get his conscious attention. Have your guy, maybe with a couple of his friends, meet him and suggest that it is time to stop bothering you, that he's acting like a stalker, and if he doesn't stop, the next meeting will be less pleasant and may involve the police.
I think it's not rude, everybody has their type. Sometimes you can try to see if it works with someone who doesn't fit with your range of things you like, but I've been in the situation where I just couldn't feel attraction to somebody. You just can't force it and telling it in a nice but sincere way is by no means rude.
If he acts badly after you've said it nicely then it's all his problem, there are many people that won't like you even if others adore you.
Im not so sure on this tbh.
I think that there are some people out there that won't take no thank you I'm not interested for answer. They need to dig more and when you say "you're not my type" they get offended.
We kind of live in a world where saying "I don't like..." is wrong.
Personally I think that people need to just need to learn again that we cannot like everything and it's not always a form of discrimination.
It's a tough place to be... But truly tough love is what is needed Sometimes. You need to give people the truth and sometimes it's just hard for them to take...
All you can do is move on the best you can. You were honest with him so you did your part and he now just has to accept that which it sounds like it might take him sometime to digest it
The way I see it is if someone wants the truth they should get the truth no mater how harsh it may be. He also needs to understand that your mind is made up you don't want that crazy fucker showing up later trying to convince you that he worked on or changed everything so you would like him unless that's a possibility.
It might be, but that's not wrong or immoral. You have every right to choose and say who you would dat and why, but just be aware that is ultimate judgment from a males biological perspective. It's a lot to unpack.
I think that people forget that we're just somewhat more sophisticated chimps. We have a capacity for rationality, but not always the capability. When a guy gets told he isn't the right type, he is basically still being told that he isn't worth procreating with. That's not wrong! But his internal systems will start screaming at him that he is being judged, which he is, still not wrong. It's just something we have to work with. I know its not an ideal answer, but I don't know if there's a better one.
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