What is your strongest criticism of online dating?

Question

Seems that most young people are quite vocal is expressing their disapproval of online dating. . . or is it just that the critics talk loudly and those who like it don't speak up. Do you dislike online dating? If so, why do you dislike it?

JSmuve · Accepted Answer

I don't know if I have a strongest criticism but I'll list my dislikes with it.

- I honestly don't know whether the women I'm swiping right on are active. For all I know, they made a profile and haven't been active in months or years.
- They don't put much effort into their profiles. They either have one picture and no bio, or a few pictures and their instagram account. Few actually flesh out their profile in any meaningful way. It seems women are more interested in growing the number of followers they have instead of actually trying to connect with someone
- A lot don't have the courtesy of responding to messages that guys write, especially if he took the time to read her profile (if she wrote anything) and write something thoughtful. It's the online equivalent of you starting a conversation with someone at a conference or other social setting and the person looking at you for a minute and walking away.
- I get messages from dating apps/sites saying stuff like "so and so likes you" and they have the person's profile picture blurred out. Then when I log in, they don't even show me the profile of the person who supposedly likes me! Like what the fuck? They're just duping me into re-engaging with the site so that I spend more time swiping and not getting anything for it.
- Then if you do get matches, the girls don't respond to your messages, or in the case of bumble, they seldom message first. And if they do message you, it's usually the same boring shit that they complain about guys sending them like "hey", "hi", or "how's your weekend?" I don't have a problem with those messages because I know they're trying to start something from nothing, but I just find the hypocrisy evident.
- Conversations also quickly die off because people are either boring, aren't really interested, or have the attention span of a gnat. It seems women aren't interested in finding a connection, just something to keep them entertained and feel validated.

I just find the entire thing so impersonal and a time-sink that doesn't really pay off. You'd think with all of the options that are ostensibly available, the odds would tend to favour more matches. But I think the apps are designed like the slot machines in Vegas. Just giving you the illusion of success so that you spend more time (and hopefully more money) engaging with their product.

Novacane · Accepted Answer

I feel like all those options can be applied to most cases, that's how online dating is, sadly. My biggest criticism is that dating sites are only teaching us to judge people based on their looks that is all that is. If their looks are not there then you automatically say "next" in your head. Nobody really looks at the bio's and if they do it's something that doesn't help the situation. There is more to people than just their looks, that's why the probability of you meeting your soulmate or significantly lower. When you meet someone in person at least you can see their personality or the kind of person they are. In dating apps, you don't even get to that point because most people won't even respond to the first message because it was "too simple". Dating apps are basically a numbers game that is not to say they he/she is talking to 5 or 10 other people. There will always be someone better looking than you and be in a better position than you so you could be having a conversation with someone and that better person matches with them, their attention will instantly go to that next person and the cycle doesn't end, so if you are not a good looking person you will have a much harder time finding success in those dating apps.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

I've never actually online dated or used a dating app... But from what I've seen and heard...
* People don't always meet for long time sometimes and then when they do, the IRP chemistry isn't the same as the online chemistry was...
*Too easy for people to portray themselves different than what/who they really are (my younger sisters friend was on a dating site years ago and another of their college friend's husband answered her ad not knowing who she was and portraying himself as single)
*Some people use online dating to catfish people
Could go on but I personally for myself would rather date the old fashioned way, where they can actually spend real time with you, versus face time, you've already seen what they really look like before the date, you find out sooner if there words and the actions back each other up.

silvermoon84 · Accepted Answer

It’s okay for the most part. My issue is that I’ll get messages from guys or I’ll message guys and even when they message first, it feels like I have to pull teeth to get them to talk more. If they do talk, I’m usually asking about their likes and interests and they’re asking me about my body, or rather certain parts of I should say. I’m speaking mostly as a girl meeting guys online, of course we’re not really much better so I’m sure plenty of guys say the same thing about meeting women online too.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My biggest issue is some of them could be dangerous or using you for sex

Desconhecida · Answer

I rarely meet people I talk online

coachTanthony · Answer

Probably that there isn't more apps out there LOL

DamnSam · Answer

That dating platforms all use the same principe

1. Business plan to make money
2. Do that with something called "user motivation"

In the agreemend (scroll ~70% down) stands clearly under "user motivation" that up to 65% of all profiles are fake and made from the company itself. Workers use these to motivate user to spend money at the platform... that the business plan, which works pretty good since most people are pretty dumb if it comes to a possible corpulation, even if they need a creditcard (most dont even realize it at that point)

Most extremes are the ones who play with the sexual fantasy of a specific group of men... then 69.99 per month later... no profile pic or informations in the profile but hot willing women write you almost every hour sounding like interested into real dating... right, thats a worker of the company which motivates you to use all the free messages which you have per day (so you need to buy additional ones to write messages again)

Read dating platform ratings, its ridiculous how these companies work to get your money

Aethereal · Answer

I like online dating. It helped me find someone. But I am still very critical of it.

My biggest criticism is that the large majority of people in there do not take it seriously. They don't put any effort into their profiles, or outline who they are and what/who they want. They often fail to realize that they are talking to someone who is giving them time and attention, but they refuse to return it in kind. And since some are just on there to have their ego stroked or source followers for their instagram, it often ends up feeling like a waste of your time.

Anonymous · Answer

Okay so I'm married. But a lot of my friends are single and do online dating. So sometimes, we'll hang out and go over her matches or the guys she's into. To me, seeing profiles is like looking at resumes. You're seeing who's best qualified. But then its like you hire that person and they either don't show up or are not fit to your standards. I met my husband in person, through a friend and there's someone different when you actually get to know someone in person and avoid all the awkward small talk in the beginning that can last for days. And then there's the ghosting. They'll be talking to someone and all of a sudden they don't hear back or my friend will just stop talking to them. Its like you put all the time to talk and out of nowhere you just don't hear anything. It just sounds so frustrating. That can happen in person too but it's different getting to know someone in person rather than online.

HawkPerception · Answer

I've been on a few dates from online dating in between 2010 and 2017. None of them ended up turning into a relationship or even a fling. I feel like online dating is a waste of time for the vast majority like myself. I have a much better chance meeting and talking in person than on online dating. There's too many fake people on dating sites, catfish, etc. And the worst part is, girls get all the attention and guys have to send messages to like 20 girls to get a single response and out of the girls that respond only about 1 out of 20 will actually continue to converse after the first response.

masonova1 · Answer

It is IMPOSSIBLE to meaningfully gauge a person for the purpose of starting a relationship through a picture and bio selected to be the most sexually enticing, funny, or attractive one of the bunch. There's a reason we hold our friends and our internet friends in different classes, and we can't ignore the nuances and cues of human interaction that get completely stripped away by how apps like Tinder portray people to you. Remember, Tinder is a company that wants you to give them money. Their bottom line is dependent on how much you swipe right. Never, EVER forget about the middleman and his interests.

msc545 · Answer

I think the people that own and operate online dating sites do a lot of fraud. Specifically they post profiles of people that are no longer on the site or never were on the site to begin with OR, they post profiles of people that don't actually exist. My experiences with online dating have been universally negative. I've never met anybody in an online dating site and I have had just a few conversations online with people. Almost inevitably any conversations I had were cut short by the person simply disappearing. Im not the most attractive person in the world but I've never had that sort of thing happen to me any place but an online dating site. I also think the sites are too expensive and they rely far too heavily on appearance as opposed to what you actually have to say in the essays that they make you write. All in all, I wouldn't do it again.

Anonymous · Answer

I think that you can truly find love on dating sites, but the problem is that the people who are only looking for sex outmatch those who are actually looking for love.

I went once on a dating site for a week after losing a bet and I didn't have any expectations whatsoever. I was planning on deleting my account once the week was over, but then I matched with a guy. Long story short, we have been dating for over a year.

It is possible to find someone, but not very likely. Even though I met my boyfriend online, I still think it is better to meet someone in real life.
However, I do think more and more people will start to use dating sites thanks to covid and everything.

Daniela1982 · Answer

With free sites, like Plenty of Fish there are too many catfish, fake profiles, and people who are married and just like to chat. They have no money to lose. Pay sites are better, but marginally. The dating sites are becoming hook up sites so they all suck.

lightbulb27 · Answer

takes a lot of energy for low effect. It's another set of skills to write, market... then text communicate at appropriate level. The lack of response, rejection and such is endlessly frustrating and becomes a lot of energy with little gain. Best was eharmony where at least people were serious and responsive, and some alignment by personality attributes in their algorithm.

anon1903 · Answer

- creeps
- losers
- fake people
- uglies
- face to face communication is much more effective
- 90% of people have something wrong with them (no offense even if you're on therapy). these screw ups are attractive online
- no physical affection
- staring on your screen constantly isn't romo
- pedo / cougar
- you may not actually like or know them
- the worst : you DO know them. enemies to lovers trope is only attractive in fiction

cth96190 · Answer

I tried on-line dating about 10 years ago.
If the woman looked good, the profile was a fake that had been created by retarded scammers in Ghana or Nigeria, or by the owner of the site to persuade lonely and gullible men to part with money.
The handful of genuine profiles (in my location) belonged to obese wildebeest who had psychiatric issues.
I also received about 200 PMs per week from the African scammers.

Citizenkirk · Answer

I've been discussing this most contraversial issue with some of my neighbors, and Captain Kangaroo 🦘 and Puff the Magic Dragon agree with me, that there is way too much discrimination against the "presence impaired" while Johnny Quest and the the Energizer Bunny 🐇🐰 insisted that people who don't leave their mom's basement once in a while don't have any entitlement too dating or not being heavily medicated with chemical restraints.
I guess only time will tell, if imaginary dating, or E-dating,👇🙃🥴, will ever be taken seriously 😑 by those intolerant individuals who do not acknowledge the rights of non-existent people in an electronic imaginary friends setting.

Massageman · Answer

Oh, let's not label them as  fake.   Let's just say that they may be prone to a bit of exaggeration from time to time. Would you believe a lot of exaggeration most of the time. How about pushing the truth a bit? Maybe pushing the truth out the window? Aw, forget it. They're  fake !

Anonymous · Answer

Ghost profiles. Profiles of inactive people left on the site.
The extra fees needed to get your profile boosted to bee seen.
Women that are just curious to see people they know
Women who just want to get an ego boast
Women with ridiculously high standards.
The effort you need to put in to get a single date.
People who don't put up honest pics or age.
If you live outside a city or large town your nearest date could be 50+ miles away.

Anonymous · Answer

The men are desparate perverted losers

The women are egotistical bitches with standards that are set way to high for the value they actually have

On dating sites for every 9 men there is 1 women. Online dating is disastrous and very damaging for everyone's mental health. We have narsacistic women and insecure depressed men as a result.

Iron_Man · Answer

Women have so many options out there being online how do they ever take one guy so seriously? I think they’re a bunch of golddiggers. My friend did a test and he told me exactly what was going down and it disgusted me. He put on his job résumé that he was a security guard he got no Messages from women At all on the dating site and as soon as he put down he was a doctor they were all over him left and right

Denial1984 · Answer

Personally, I just haven't had much success. I think it's a combination of not having a lot of pros to present, and not being good at presenting them.

I also just feel that online dating as a man (unless you are uncommonly attractive) is a bit like going to a Black Friday sale, hoping to get some amazing bargain. You are more likely to get trampled by the other shoppers. Online dating requires a minimal investment and is lower-risk than IRL dating (in a way, at least), and that means you're directly competing with far more guys than you would be IRL.

I realise I am probably a fossil for not embracing it, though.

Also, I just don't like the experience. It lowers my self-esteem and makes me feel like a loser. It feels empty and depressing to me.

What is your strongest criticism of online dating?

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