Girls, How to find an atheist girl gamer nerd (20s-30s) who likes anime/sci-fi/fantasy - doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs, and doesn't want/have kids?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I've tried dating sites/apps and I guess for the most part women like this don't use those. Also tried gaming social sites, regular social sites, and gaming platforms, and no luck. Anytime I find someone compatible they are either taken or out of the country, and I only find those once in a blue moon while searching daily. Also I like the most difficult to master video games like fighters and fps games and character action games etc, so don't suggest mmos, already tried it and was bored out of my mind the whole time and found no one. Also she needs to like wildlife and science and dinosaurs, and be an artist (even if its just a hobby). And lastly she needs to like cats, not be afraid of bugs, and be be very sweet/kind/bubbly. I'm looking for someone I can be best friends with then eventually marry. I know it's a lot of requirements but it's what my genetics wants in a mate so thats just how it is.

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Note: If your answer is to lower my standards rather than clever ways to speed up finding a rare type, then it's not actually answering my question.

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kinda already did all that, the only good matches were as i said, out if the country, I actually had far better luck on gaming platforms in regards to finding this type if person, but again, so far all taken or out of the country, also it doesn't make any sense to compartmentalize trait priority on dating sites, because people like that tend to list all or most of those things on the profile should they apply to them.

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Ignore the last update, was trying to reply to a user and the app glitched out and updated my question instead, also stilll no useful advice yet.

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bot selected "most helpful answer" (it wasn't), still haven't gotten an actual useful suggestion so I'm going to re-ask this.

[Screenwriter]

Why don't you sign up for dating sites and list all these requirements. I'm sure if you pay you'll find someone close to your particular, stringent rules.
But, I'd suggest first you find someone who doesn't drink or smoke, which would be possible, and who is an atheist and in your age range..
The anime, sci fi fantasy nerd doesn't want to have kids are far too specific if you're just meeting someone.
Most people don't smoke cigarettes. That's easy. Some don't drink. A bit harder. Finding someone in your age range is also easy if you're in that age range too. If you're far older than that, this will also be difficult.
Join a dating site for atheists first. Atheism will be a bit difficult in the first place. Good luck.

[TheSpaceGnome]

kinda already did all that, the only good matches were as i said, out if the country, I actually had far better luck on gaming platforms in regards to finding this type if person, but again, so far all taken or out of the country, also it doesn't make any sense to compartmentalize trait priority on dating sites, because people like that tend to list all or most of those things on the profile should they apply to them.

also for some reason when trying to reply to you, it updated my post instead.

[Screenwriter]

Don't use an international dating site. On your dating profile state you're looking for someone within 50 miles... if you can check 20 miles do it! Do you live near a major metro area? Or out in the sticks? That will influence whether you can find someone easily also.
Gaming platforms attract international people. So that's NOT the best place to look.
Look at Match. Look at Bumble. Look at tumblr. Check out any local gamers. Is there an atheist group near you? Check them out.
I love sci fi fantasy, but I don't even mention that in my dating profile. I don't smoke. I'm no atheist, but I'm fairly tolerant as long as someone isn't strident about their religious/non religious status.
I think you should be as open as possible. Getting every single box ticked is nearly impossible in the dating world.
You might find someone who doesn't drink or smoke, who loves sci fi and horror and gaming, but who is spiritual. Would you cross such a person off your potential dating? I sure wouldn't.
You never know what can develop or how you'll change over time.
At 25 I didn't want children. At 37 I did. At 25 I was areligious. At 55,, I'd become spiritual.
Don't write ANYTHING in stone. You'll miss out on great people and great experiences.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Screenwriter
1. I've use all of those, all dating sites, social sites and gaming platforms are international, the few that filter for country as an option end up having zero results after a small amount of swipes when accounting for the filters I mentioned.

2. No I wouldn't ever date a spiritual person, I can't stand when people try to use assumptions as if they were facts, and their isn't any evidence proving souls exist so being spiritual isn't a logical stance and I want a logical person. Also degenerative brain diseases alone prove souls almost certainly do not exist. This is because the idea of a soul is being able to think/be aware in energy form, but quite obviously medical issues prove a nervous system of some form is required for cognition, I want a smart person who never assumes and relies on evidence. Also, if it were possible to verify spirits/ghosts, the planet would be flooded with evidence since 99.999999999999999999999999+% of life went extinct since their inceptions.

3. I have no local venues, I am not in a big city, and I already mentioned before that yes that would increase my odds.

4. the person I mentioned that to said she ticked every box on the list I made, but us taken, in fact many women have, so its not impossible or near impossible, the type isn't super rare, whats rare is them having a noticable online presence.

5. You and I have very different ideas on what counts as "great experiences"

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also might be a good idea to stop replying to questions you don't entirely read.

[Screenwriter]

I did read your entire question.
OK. If your requirements are that stringent, good luck to you.
My recommendation is to be more flexible and less judgmental. You can find several of the things you want in many people. You will find ALL of those things in few people.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your replies telling me to do things that I explicitly mentioned I already did say otherwise. Also I only want to be with one person, and there are lots of gamer nerds into all that stuff soooo.. yeah.. it's not like i'm wanting to build a harem or an army or something

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also you need to learn the difference between judgmentalness/openeness and needs/wants/preference/knowledge. a person is not judgmental for wanting to be with a specific type of person, no more than anyone is judgmental for ordering a pizza instead of sandwiches.

[TheSpaceGnome]

People like what they like, and don't like what they don't, and thats fine, the only one being judgmental is you for trying to argue with me about whether i should have my preferences.

[SueShe]

I think that you are seriously limiting yourself here and that you will probably have to make some concessions if you want to find the woman of your dream.

I don't think that there are too many of those in the world and probably none or very few here on G@G.

The gaming part is no problem. There are a lot of girls that don't mind gaming, as long as it is not an obsession and takes the best part of the day (and the relation). Nobody likes to come second after a game.

But I am sure it is not impossible. The only problem I see is whether YOU

[SueShe]

sorry. the program shut on me. I was going to say

The only problem I see is whether you are the one for that girl and whether you would correspond to what she is seeking in a person. She may have what you like in her but what about you liking what she wants in a guy.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I basically described myself when requesting what I'M looking for, so yes I would most likely be what they are looking for, and I exist, so it's not unreasonable think the someone just like me but of opposing gender exists, also I'm 100% not looking for someone to suggest changing my wants or settling (if I were able to do that, I wouldn't be on here), I was pretty clear about that in my post. A person's relationship needs are very much like preference in food or hobbies or anything else, it's rooted in genetics, you can't change it with debate anymore than you can change a person's taste buds, I'm looking for a more analytical response, regarding how to increase the number of gamer women I interact with so that I may find the needle in the heystack.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also I forgot to mention that the issue is that the type i like is at home glued to a screen playing games that require sending invites to people you already know (for some reason mmo fighting games aren't a thing yet), or drawing, or watching tv, etc. see the problem? it's not what should I cherry pick, it's how do I find a shutin nerd. Also statistics say that roughly half of all gamers are women, but that can only be true if A, 80% of them pretend to be men or stick to single player, or B. we pretend that mobile games are worth including in a study.

[TheSpaceGnome]

One last thing,
I've found that if a person likes about 3 of those things I mentioned, they are MUCH more likely to like the rest.

[SueShe]

I understand.

Also, when you talk about a person that needs to be an artist, the scope is very wide. This girl my like paintings of the old Dutch masters of the 16th. century while you, perhaps, see a person that composes music. Both are a form of art but do not have to be compatible. How do you solve that issue?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Simple, Artist refers to drawing/painting/sculpting, basically the visual end of it, if i were refering to a composer, I'd have said a musician, which I admit is also a type of artist, but typically people call a deawing art and music.. well... music. As for the subject matter, listing the other likes, implies those would also be things an illustrator would draw, but the main thing was really wanting a creative, I want the kind of situation you see on nergforge with someone, where we collab on various homemade creative projects. so in this respect, i was being broad on purpose, she could be creative with code and my art and music could collab with her on a game for example. So while
i initially meant visual arts, it's more a grey area, but illustrators are by far the most common and it's instantly relatable, so I thought of that first.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Sorry for the spelloing errors by the way.

[TheSpaceGnome]

My phone keeps freezing up, and sends after I correct things, but I guess only registers half of that.

[TheSpaceGnome]

nerdforge*

[JuliaStyles]

Give it up! You are asking for an unattainable soul mate. The odds of someone meeting all your must haves is like a trillion to one. And any time you add one more must haves it increases those odds even more. It's like asking for one person to drive down your street, at 1pm, driving a red car, with a missing mirror, and the girl would be wearing a polka dot hat, flipping off the driver in front of her, and throwing her McDonald's bag out the window and it lands at your feet. The odds are astronomical. So you are either a troll or a complete idiot. Which is it?

[TheSpaceGnome]

@JuliaStyles you call me an idiot or a troll, but the thing is I already told you I know multiple women who fit this to a T, and yet you yammer on spamming everyone's comments and completely ignoring anything that contradicts your assuming ass, I'm not going to give up just because some idiot internet troll with self esteem issues says to, go bark up someone else's tree, I'm not interested.

[SueShe]

I certainly don't want to start a conflict about trolling or spamming but your account name can suggest that direction.

If you look at the definition of a gnome, it says

"usually having a small human form and magical powers.

Usage example: in Europe, gnomes are thought to guard underground treasure, so that may be why statues of them are commonly placed in gardens".

Troll is a synonym for gnome in dwarf topic. In some cases you can use "Troll" instead a noun "Gnome", when it comes to topics like goblin.

Source: https://thesaurus.plus/related/gnome/troll

Thus, it is easy to confuse and I personally believe that your name is meant to possibly mislead us.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Now you're just grasping at straws, the gnome thing is an inside joke/run on gag between me and some friends, either way I found the block button, so julia is blocked. don't read too much into user names, most people aren't trying to represent themselves. Hell, half my gaming friends kept the random ass gamertags that xbox autogenerated because they sounded like silly nonsense, my name on here is of similar reasoning. I also considered "platymoosapuss", and "a slight glurb".

[Neko911]

You just described me actually. Bit I already have a boyfriend

[TheSpaceGnome]

lol well at least I know its more common than I thought.

[Neko911]

It is sorta. Just depends where you live and the girl

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah, i wish i could afford to live in nyc, i feel like i'd have much better luck there do to the high population count.

[Neko911]

Maybe

[VenusXO]

I'm literally all of those things except for two. I occasionally smoke weed and I have children

[TheSpaceGnome]

lol damn, so thats why we get along, my lifestyle doesn't allow me time to be a father so I've been researching every contraception and steralization there is (I have too many hobbies, projects, life goals etc., i'd rather have no kids than not always be there for them) as for the weed, I can't stand smoke or the skunky smell, plus I look younger than most people my age, and Imma keep it that way. so only healthy habits for me. :)

one day i will find my kayane/nerdforge/science nerd hybrid, one day, and none of the asshats on here or anywhere else will ever deter me :)

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also
i don't suppose you might know anyone who fits all those things, is single, and is close to my age? (figure it can't hurt to ask)

[VenusXO]

Same I look much younger than my age. My occasional weed smoking hasn't effected my appearance negatively at all. Honestly, when i was younger I think it helpedme look healthier than what I actually was😅
As for if I know someone who fits all of those no, I do not. Most peopls I know have children or smoke weed or both😅

[TheSpaceGnome]

Well I mean you smoke it so it's not shocking most of your friends would be smokers too since non smokers wouldn't want to be around smoke, also you must have a very strong bodily detox to not get carbon buildup in the lungs from smoke. kudos on that, i start gagging at the slightest hint of it lol

And poop, oh well, the search continues.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Hey Venus, any way to delete an update to a post? I tried replying to a person's answer, and the app glitched and updated my post instead for whatever weird ass reason.

[VenusXO]

That is weird, and I have no idea. I'm sorry I'm not more helpful 😔

[TheSpaceGnome]

No worries, and yeah the app needs work lol

[TheSpaceGnome]

Hey Venus you wanna play something? was gonna ask you in a pm but apparantly i need to level up to message people on here.

[JuliaStyles]

Try Troll Land. I hear you can find any kind of thing you want there. No matter what you talk about people take it as Gospel and you will get plenty of replies.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Says the troll.

[JuliaStyles]

I'm not the one asking for something that doesn't exist. You forgot to say whether she should like sex or not.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Except that it does exist, I've personally met over a dozen women near my age who are like this, it's just all of them were either already taken, or outside the country. So no, you are the only troll here, asking for help figuring out how to meet one who is not taken and is in the United States is in no way being a troll. Grow up.

[TheSpaceGnome]

The only reason it's difficult to find in the first place is because most challenging video games, drawing, etc are all indoor hobbies that promote isolation or at the very least do not give venues for meeting new people, it is a legitimate question as to how a nerdy shutin can meet another nerdy shutin by using the internet. the question is not "does this exist" the question is how do I find what i already know exists.

My friend suggested going to an arcade or comicon, which are valid suggestions, but I'm not currently near any.

[TheSpaceGnome]

also should probably note that that friend is basically just like what I described, she's not single though.

[LeFtUoNreD]

You should be lucky if a girl touches you never less dates u

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats already happened before on multiple occasions, I actually get hit on quite often because I look cute, I've had lower standards on the above stuff before, and as a result it didn't work out.

Don't get me wrong, the girls I dated were really pretty mind you, and being stalked by them was honestly adorable, but they didn't like science and weren't atheists, they also wanted kids, and one of them even smoked.

All those relationships made me learn what is and isn't a red flag, and what traits I like in women and don't like.

Also your comment is rather silly considering you admitted you fuck people you have never even met before, so your qualification for criticizing people about relationship worthiness is laughable at best.

[LeFtUoNreD]

“I actually get hit on quite often. Because I’m cute” but yet you have a dinosaur pic as your photo. If you really got hit on you wouldn’t have to tell us why loser

[TheSpaceGnome]

Why would I need to post a pic of me on here? it's not like I'd be dating anyone on here.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also calling me a loser is laughable coming from the type of women almost certainly end up alone from banging random strangers.

[iLoveJuice]

You got told to lower your standards because it’s true. It sounds like you’re trying to find a unicorn. I doubt anyone is going to be able to help you because your requirements are just too strict and unprioritized.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I completely disagree, I know women like this, they are just taken.

[TheSpaceGnome]

several of which I'm actually best friends with, I found them by accident though.

[iLoveJuice]

Then why did you ask this question? If you already know women like this then you should know where to find more of them. Did you have a deep crush on one of them and now you’re trying to find someone exactly like her since she’s taken? Because it’s either that or you’re overvaluing yourself.

By the way, if your age is correct then you’re too old to be asking stuff like this. I usually only hear questions like these from teenagers or people in their twenties. You sound very narcissistic. You’re NEVER going to find someone who is EXACTLY like you.

[TheSpaceGnome]

1. No I'm not too old, no one is too old to have any of those hobbies, likes, or dislikes, and if you think otherwise thats your problem, not mine. 2. because those ones I either found at random or they were a friend's girlfriend or they were outside the country, who would have thought I should ever want a more reliable way to find that type of person? >_> 3. you do not understand what narcissism is, try reading a dictionary.

[Agape93]

Good luck with that lol

[maryisbreathing]

I just don't think you will find one

[TheSpaceGnome]

And I just don't care what you think, I'm not looking for opinions, I'm looking for utilitarian suggestions on how to find what I'm looking for, otherwise there would be no point to posting this.

[Anonymous]

You are expecting too much.

[TheSpaceGnome]

not really, but thanks for the useless opinion.

[JuliaStyles]

That's what I told him. He is delusional.

[TheSpaceGnome]

JuliaStyles either offer a suggestion thats useful or get out, you have already stated your ridiculous assumptions.