Why do guys not respect women on Tinder?

[Anonymous]

I've been single for some time and I have come to realize that most men don't respect the women they meet from Tinder. Or perhaps that's just my experience.
Let's say this guy John, who's 35, goes on a Tinder date with Kate, 25. He automatically feels that she owes him sex. But had John been introduced to Kate by his mate Philip (she's Philip's ex-coworker's sister's cousin), would he treat Kate the same way on the first date, by asking her to sleep with him straight away or the date is over?
Does it really matter how a man meets a woman, as men like to compartmentalize, like "all women from online apps for hookups, all women I've met in real life are for relationships? Or is that a myth?

[MrWolf]

Some men don't respect same goes for woman too.

Acting like that is just ridiculous. A respective mindset is needed indeed. Thing is with dating this days everything is so wrong & out of hand that nobody knows what is right or wrong.

I go by the philosophy! That men have to work to win a woman yet a woman can point her finger and that guy is hers.

But for me as a guy i don't chase tail anymore because I'm over 35. For me if we click right on go on a date and everything is cool we can have a talk how this goes on.

But play to hard to get and I'm lose interest because like your time, mine is important too & i don't like to waste it.

Yet we man should learn once more to process the thing we are going to say because we think a bit more realistic on the situation, that being said is just you woman are delicate flowers and harsh words aren't meant for you.

So process, edit and then say it.

Now I'm not saying woman think differently but your mind doesn't work like ours.

So a 35 year old acting like a horny 18yrs ain't right.

[t-8900]

1) Tinder is for sex
2) For online dating it's foolish to go out right away before talking a bit
3) How bout those swipes?
4) Go to youtube and watch some Red Pill/MGTOW vids on Tinder.

I am not Red Pilled or MGTOW (though I was formerly). But they do have good information for both sexes simply so men can better screen and protect themselves and women can better understand some men. HOWEVER you need to sift through the incel, toxic, women haters too. Better Bachelor is my favorite channel. All MGTOW I will say are relying on highly outdated info on women. Women are more and more becoming the bread winners over men so a lot of that talk of getting screwed over in divorce by women is becoming less and less common for younger men.

I'm not opposed to dating frisky women but only if they are HONEST about it and understand that if you are dating me it's monogamous and there is no compromise on those grounds. I also won't jump in bed with you for the first month or two until I really know you. If thats an issue (and it seems to be with young women today) then I got no respect for you because you're a liar, I can't trust you, and you are too ready to get in bed with strangers. If a woman wants to be a player she can. Don't ask me to respect her or her male counterparts however.

[Xoxocutekitty]

A lot of guys compartmentalize, thinking that the medium that you meet someone equates to their worth as a human being.

It's not true and if all guys treated women with respect (even if she wasn't 'the one') the dating world would be much better.

People forget (and this isn't gender specific) that you're dating someone else's long term partner. The same people that treat people like trash in their 20s wonder why all the available partners in their 30s are guarded, jaded, and put other things before a relationship.

And to answer your specific question, about being more respectful to a friend of a friend - it's because there are SOCIAL CONSEQUENCES for treating people like shit if they know someone you know. On tinder, there are NO social consequences and sadly, immature people think that 'getting away with something' means they're doing it right.

Don't give up on tinder though. You can meet people that are looking for what you want. You just have to be prepared to cut off bs soon, because a lot of people take advantage of people that want a relationship. Find someone willing to work for it, to compromise, and don't waste your time building a relationship where you're doing all the effort

[modelUN242]

Well, I went on Tinder as a “guy” just to see how hard it is for guys in terms of dating. And I was disappointed with my own gender at the end. There were very few girls on Tinder who were looking for relationships. The rest were posing in like no clothing or looking like thots (attaching their social media accounts for more followers). Others didn’t even have a bio or description so you didn’t even know what they were looking for. I used the app as my guy friend way back and he’s not a looker. But, he did get matches with some of the ugly girls and even they unmatched afterwards!! I feel bad for the average guy.

[yofuknutz]

The ugly girls unmask wow what a concept

[modelUN242]

@yofuknutz yeah, they're so entitled, like this one girl was 24 but really fat and looked 30. He was 22 and not too bad if he lost weight.

[yofuknutz]

Yeah it's a damn shame

[JSmuve]

This right here! It's really refreshing to see a girl actually take the time to see what tinder is like from a guy's point of view and everything you mentioned is what all guys see. And it's not just tinder. It's bumble and the other dating apps as well. It really makes you disappointed with the effort women put in.

[modelUN242]

@JSmuve Yup both genders should try as each other.

[EyesOfGod]

That video of a landwhale still gets me
https://youtu.be/_K65xX9CsQ0
An ass ton of matches instantly. I was on tinder just for the lol's for a month and I got 0 matches.

[modelUN242]

@EyesOfGod Oh my god, gross, that's disgusting, that looks like a man. How is this possible? Wow, really sad...

[EyesOfGod]

Desperate men and guys with fat fetishes

[MrOracle]

Tinder is NOT a dating app, much less a relationship app, despite weak assertions to the contrary by the founders. It was designed in the most shallow way possible (the opposite of how any app actually intended to help create relationships) and it is used almost exclusively as a casual sex hookup app - a use that the site's design is optimized for.

As such, anyone using Tinder is assumed by everyone to be looking for casual sex, so it should come as a surprise to no one that guys meeting girls through Tinder are expecting casual sex - anymore than people going to a restaurant are expecting a meal.

[EmbraceThePain]

Perhaps it’s the vibes that the specific women give off and combining that with an app that has all sorts of negative assumptions... makes it all the worse.


Let’s be honest, men do not like promiscuous women. Biology.


So, anything that points men that women give off those vibes or indicators will usually not be taken positively.


Yes, men will give attention to women who show or display themselves sexually, but it’s a bit of a hypocrisy because these men do not want to share their woman with every man or a lot of men.


They want their woman and all her sexual behaviors to themselves. I think that’s what men fantasize and like.


If men are viewing women in an sexualized way, it naturally seeps into objectification, there’s no getting away from it, again, it’s biology.


Imagine seeing a woman openly being this way and seeing a lot of men following her on social media, liking her sexual pictures, etc.


You’ll probably never really respect her beyond the sexual object that you’ll uncontrollably think of her as.

[SjE78]

me personally i respect women, and firmly believe that if you date ANYONE regardless of who or what gender they are, if someone thinks that just cos a date went well or cos effort was made, it DOESN'T mean either 'owe' sex or someone is owed any sexual favours...
a date is to get a taster of what a person is like, to see if there is a connection or a small amount of attraction to then see if it is possible to go from there... clearly those guys who expect something from day one... are players... they treat women like that to get one thing, they come across as dateable but in truth their interests are only on one thing...
online dating was originally for helping those like myself who prefer to get to know someone and get a rough idea before taking the step to meet in person... but a lot out there (both guys and women) have given online dating a bad rep, and many players/scammers and narcissists out there who make dating online more a case of pot luck on a mine field...
I have met a few women both on dating sites/apps and just through social media who played me online or in person, but have also met some in real life (not from online dating) who have done the same...
however there are those who are serious about relationships and personally they are who i prefer to get to know especially since i want someone who shares the intention of settling down..

[Skankhunt]

Because Tinder is superficial. We swipe left or right based on someone else's photo and bio (if she has written one), we don't know him or her and we just swipe people away without knowing them.

A lot of women don't give man a chance to get to know her. A lot of men don't get a response from a girl he mesaaged her first. Tinder is superficial, it's just for hookuups.

Reasons why women are on Tinder:
1: They are insecure
2: They don't get approached often in real life
3: Ego boost
4: Boredom (this means girls/women are not serious in finding someone because they don't take Tinder serious)
5: Seeking attention from men

Reason why men might not respect women on Tinder?:
1:Attention seekers
2: Women don't respond back on messages men send to you
3: Tinder is superficial, it's for hookups
4: Women like to reject men by not responding to their messages or women reject their whole profile
5: Women are looking for a GQ model who is loaded
6: Women are promiscuous
7: Women have high and unrealistic expectations
8: Men don't respect women who are so desperate for male attention.
9: The app is a waste of time, it's not worth it to talks to girls who are on Tinder

Just like Tinder, Onlyfans is also a way to get male attention by providing men with nudes of you, it's a desperate call for attention. Also, women have an Onlyfans acccount don't have self-respect. Onlyfans is like a porn app, men can even give a request to irls.

I think the big reason why men don't reespect women is because they desperately seeking for male attention, they are even willing to post nudes of themselves. On Tinder, a lot of girls don't even take the effort to respond to messages. I don't say all women are bitches or promiscuous, but the bad women are screwing it up for the good women.

[ZackBan]

First off let me say this: most guys who say tinder is for losers have never had much succesd with it.
Tinder is a social platform like all others, it holds the good the bad and the ugly.
You're gonna tell me there are no sexually repressed creeps on instagram or Facebook or even in your local book store? It's all about picking out the right person to go out with.

As to the example you gave: the reason john would feel the courage and boldness to ask for sex is because through tinder there is no philip no one in his circle would know if he got turned down or start a rumor about him being a creep.
This is why some people are more controlled when they meet through mutual acquaintances.

[Asker]

Love this answer! I have experienced that guys online can like jerks, they can call you names and ghost etc, and it's for them to do so because there are no repercussions to their actions, it's their secret life, he doesn't have to take responsibility for being a jerk online! It might be a better idea for me to meet people through friends of friends, or make new friends first. If I start dating someone from my social circle, they should feel more inclined to treat me right, because they know there will be some sort of consequences if they don't!

[ZackBan]

Thank you for the compliment on the answer.

And yeah you pretty much understood what I said however I want to point out something, if a guy only shows respect because of social convention there is a chance he's faking it and that's more dangerous because his creepy side would come out later once you two are living together or married, by then he will no longer care about Philips opinion since it's no longer anyone else's business.

Ironically enough with all the creeps you meet online if you get lucky enough to meet a decent guy who respects you because he's a respectable person himself you'll really have landed yourself a keeper

[Ghostryder]

If u r on tinder to meet someone , men r going to assume u r looking for a fast hook up or maybe even fast cash. It is equivalent to going to a bar to meet someone. U will get the same response from most guys, Your place or mine , providing he has a place n don't live with his mama, Lol. So there might be 15% of the men on there hoping for an actual relationship n 5% that is actually stable enough to be in one. With that being said my question is why does it seem all the women r looking for money , house , n car , n also expect us men to have a high paying job. I have tried the dating sites 6 years ago n every girl I chatted with was like filling out a job application. N then some would not meet even if u answer all questions correctly. I had some dates yes but most were catfish n looked nothing like there pic n I seen really fast y she was on the site. N the girls who were really attractive u can hang it up, she's getting like 20 to 50 guys a day messaging her n another 20 sending dick pics. Ladies don't lie.. how often do u get dick pics?

[btbc92]

Men in general, at least 90% do not have any respect for women today. Period. Tinder is a hookup app, though now from what I have heard, it is being used for friendships and possible relationship platforms. And therefore men expect horny girls that they find attractive and most of these men are not good, to begin with. With a good amount of women who are no different, with a good few like yourself seeking a relationship. A good few men that desire the same are not attracted to you physically let alone you may not be towards them. The thing is men seek sexual opportunities from women, primary and FOREMOST. Since sex is easily assessable since nobody is really waiting for marriage anymore, this is why. It is very disheartening which is why a lot of people are giving up on such unions because it is the way it is.

[AzzaBlue]

Just curious, did you get the 90% figure from a reliable source or did you pluck it out of your bum.

[420Rachel]

I actually met my current boyfriend on Tinder. Originally we were just hooking up and that was it. I didn't want a relationship at all at the time. But we kept spending time with each other and we've been together for about a month now. He's very sweet to me, he's funny, and cares about how I feel. I know it's still too early to tell if this will be a lasting relationship or not but so far it's been really smooth. 😁👍 Also one of my best friends met her boyfriend on Tinder and they've been together for like 7 or 8 months now. And another friend met her girlfriend on Plenty of Fish and they've been together for like 5 years. So I do think it's possible to find love from Tinder or other dating apps. But I do believe that the majority of people who use dating apps use it for hooking up which ya know is whatever. But I do agree and believe that most men who use Tinder only want sex and they don't believe that a girl who is also only looking for sex would be a good partner for them.

[IronLady6354]

Tinder has a reputation of being more of a hookup app than an app people who are looking for a real relationship go on. I'm not saying everyone who uses tinder has that intention. I'm saying that's its general reputation. Consequently, there are going to be a lot of guys who go on there for the express desire for a hookup. When you match a lot of them are just interested in sex and not that interested in an actual relationship.
Maybe not all dating apps are like tinder in regards to its reputation for meeting for hookups as opposed to an actual relationship (I don't know. I haven't ever used dating apps). However, as far as tinder specifically is concerned that is its reputation.

[Anonymous]

Tinder is such a drag. People are so obsessed with marriage dating and all this bull shit. When is the time you people live for your self for a while and not be obsessed about this man. I just see dating apps as a form of desperation for men. And for women it’s mostly for attention seeking and like mentioned before desperation. People too scared to go out and make friends. They need to hide behind a phone and look at pictures and a stupid bio to see if you are worthy. By going on these apps your basically saying I need someone else to be happy with my self. Which is sad and pathetic regardless of what your gender is. Everyone should just go out and be grateful for the life they have and spend every second like it’s their last. The life you have is someone else’s dream. Cherish every moment. The more you chase someone the less time your chasing a better you. That’s my life lesson to you all.

[Asker]

Amen!

[razelove]

There is zero reason to respect women on Tinder. It is an app specifically for hooking up. Maybe Bumble, OKC, or as you said, meeting as strangers, at the store, church, a bar, what have you.

Meeting someone on Tinder, you put as little effort or thought into them as possible, male or female. They are going to evaporate like dew when morning comes around. It is for hooking up, not finding someone oh so special to hold nearly and dearly.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to disrespect women, but that is a place with a specific goal and the law of supply and demand in full force. You may not be there to hook up, or put up with someone else's crap, but someone else is, guaranteed, hence zero reason to care or even pretend to. The same applies in reverse.

I don't care very much for it myself. It is handy along with KiK to find out about new cities when bouncing around the US though.

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s not Tinder that is the problem, it’s male society, especially certain cultures and since being on this site, certain countries.

if you look at the usual male comments on here about girls, you think oh they must be from some 6th century culture, then you realise they are actually Americans.

Social media dating sites, purely highlight failures in society and how men treat or expect thing from women, sorry they Demand things from women.

The likes of Tinder often gives those not able to socialise with women, access to them and the chance to rehearse and think about what they want to say.

whereas in real life, it’s split seconds to respond in a conversation.

A bit like road rage, in how people in tin cans say thing they would never do if someone was standing next to them, the internet gives people that ‘armour’ to say things they would not dare to say in person.

[Searlas]

IT DOES NOT MATTER WHERE YOU MEET A WOMAN, WHETHER ON TINDER OR A PUB, WOMEN NEED TO BE RESPECTED.
It will be unfair to generalize, it’s not “guys” but people, both men and women who take advantage of an idea to prey on innocent souls, social media, dating apps are good ideas but sadists, criminals and idlers hijack the idea and troll, rob or assault innocent people because they are hidden behind keyboards. 95% of people on Tinder have hidden motives which include getting laid, financial support, scam and assault.
So, the most important thing to always remember about social media and dating apps is, be cautious, it’s not what its meant to be but it it’s what it is, not 100% safe.

[beldath]

First off, tinder was made as a hook-up app. Over the last few years people have been saying they're looking for an actual relationship and not a hook-up on there.

Second, all of the free dating apps have dropped in quality, bad gotten filled with fake profiles, or guys just looking to hook up.
I've been using a few dating apps pretty much since they started. I don't even bother anymore. They used to be good, but now, everyone uses the anonymity of the internet to act like prats. (obviously not everyone, but it seems like it)

[Wwwyzzerdd]

Tinder isn't a dating app, Match Group LLC isn't doing anything other than trying to make money off you.

Tinder and other platforms, if you are male, is an entirely different experience. Women sign up, get responses, and have overwhelming engagement. Unless your profile makes you out to be a troll more or less you'll end up talking to a human.

For men the responses we get are internet scams, bots, dating scams (food baby), or complete neglect. I've heard people talk big about Tinder online but IRL I've never heard anyone laud how the platform helped them date more women. My limited experience with Tinder made me want to dive headfirst off a bridge.

[originalemerald]

I used tinder once. I met someone just because I wanted to have company to go out with that night to an event I wanted to go too.
I only used tinder for 10 minutes and found someone.
We partied, he came back to my place. We didn't have sex, he didn't even try.

We became cool, I visited him , and he came to visit me every once in a while, about an hour away.

I would have gone, but I was going through a phase where I didn't want to stay where I was. He didn't make moves on me at his house, not mine in this time frame.

It took quite a while.

We only hooked up with time, because we made a bet. And I lost.

It only happened once or twice maybe.

But all and all not a bad experience.


Now I did know someone who used tinder, a man, someone I was close too.
Total fuck boy, all bullshit, pretended to be nice at first.
Wasn't.
I think tinder is within itself.

Set your boundaries.

[Anonymous]

People tend to make assumptions, which may or may not be true depending on the specific person you talk to. #1 assumption, Tinder is ONLY a hookup app. It's not. Bottom line, to make this as short as possible, there are people on there, same as anywhere else, any other site/app, or on the street. Anywhere you'd run into anyone. The difference in my opinion with online is people tend to take it less seriously. In my experience, women are just as bad believe it or not. They ghost all the time (to the point I just expect it, which is very sad), and they think they don't "owe" any explanation. Which really translates to I have NO basic human decency or respect for people. This is the world we live in sadly. There are "good" people on there, but finding them is hard. Just like anywhere else. Unfortunately we seem to live in a disrespectful world today. And it's not just guys.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't bother with tinder, I've been off and on it the past couple of years and haven't got one date not barely any conversations going because all the girls I match with are just looking hookups or don't make much effort at all.

It's the same with all "dating" apps tbh, most people don't use them for the intended purpose especially people around my age. It's super rare to find anyone genuine on it.

I also don't really like only judging people from their photos just because I haven't come across a girl with a bio and I'm sorry lady's, but photos don't say much about you besides that you might have good looks only :/

Just my opinion of course.

[Anonymous]

I’ll be honest with you tinder is more of a hookup app. One of my girl best friends would get messages asking her for nudes and shit when she first got it or guys that just wanted to hook up. she deleted it because she wasn’t looking for that stuff. I think the reason why guys don’t respect women on that app is because they just think the woman on there are looking for the same thing they are and most of the time that’s how guys talk to woman that aren’t looking for a serious and commuted relationship. Hate to say it but it’s true.

[slatyb]

I know a couple that met on Tinder and married.

[0112358]

Tinder is a hookup app with dating as a secondary activity. There have historically been other dating websites that were more relationship focused. They tend to put a lot more weight on profile compatibility as opposed to "who looks hot and is local".