Is it possible that some people are destined to be unloved forever?

[Anonymous]

apart from my family I have not really felt loved in my life. I have never been on a date I can hardly even get a girl to talk to me let alone acknowledge that I exist.

[MidSummerNightDream]

There is no such thing as destiny and because of that you are completely in control of your life. Remember that people often view you as you view yourself. If you believe that you are hopeless and bad at talking to girls, they'll pick up on it and start to believe it. Self confidence is the key. When you start to actually believe that any girl would be lucky to have you, it will show in your presentation. Throw yourself out there into some social situations that you're uncomfortable with, it's the only way to get experience and become more comfortable with yourself. And it will greatly increase your chances of meeting some one.

[Asker]

you really think that will work? it sounds kind of scary to me.

[MidSummerNightDream]

Yes, in fact I guarantee it. It is scary, but if you don't push yourself out of your comfort zone your life is going to remain exactly as it is now. Also, everyone has faced rejection at some point in their life but you have to not take it personally. Just keep on going to the next girl.

[Asker]

Ok that sounds like a good deal do you have any advice on talking to girls or what I should say to a girl I like or a nice and cute girl I see around or something. anything can help I don't know much about this stuff.

[MidSummerNightDream]

Don't overcompliment cute girls or go out of your way to be the "good guy" and do nice things for her, or you will find yourself in the friend zone time after time. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to start by talking to girls that you aren't necesarilly attracted to. It's easy to talk to them isn't it? Well it's just as easy to talk to girls you are attracted to, you're just psyching yourself out. Start off slow and get yourself comfortable before you go right for the girl you want

[Asker]

actually it honestly is not easy to talk to girls I am not attracted to.

[MidSummerNightDream]

Surely it's easier though. Start off with them, move your way up. Self confidence will come with practice and time, but you're the one that needs to put the effort in.

[Asker]

I know what you mean I just get nervous and I never know what to say. I just wish I could be myself which is a nice guy and girls would like it but it seems like I will be the guy who will get stuck in the friend zone every time. Why do girls put guys in the friend zone anyways?

[MidSummerNightDream]

Because you're portraying yourself in a manner that's not attractive to her. The good guy is often seen as a "white knight", or a guy who puts her needs before his own. They will certainly think you are nice, but this does little to build attraction. It's just how the dynamics of courting work. Have you ever wondered why the jerks are the ones getting all women? It's because they portray a dominant or alpha role. They're not actually jerks, they play the part to build up tension and attraction

[MidSummerNightDream]

Don't fall into the trap that you're the good guy who needs to be self sacrificing because that's just who are. If you do this, you will probably be alone for a long time. Even if you ARE the nice guy, you still need to work on your flirting game. But simply doing favors and overcomplimenting a girl will get you no where.

[Asker]

i have a lot to learn before I can even start talking to girls I guess.

[MidSummerNightDream]

Read this, it will explain it better than I can

link

[Asker]

Why can't girls just like a nice guy who treats them right. I mean I feel like people turn this in to a mind game when it should be simple.

[MidSummerNightDream]

Read the link. There are no mind games, but there are certainly things you can do that will cause girls to become more or less attracted to you. The only mind game being played is society telling you to be yourself and that people should have to accept you. Why can't you work to better yourself. If what you've been doing hasn't been working, why not alter your approach? By all means continue what you've been doing, but you're facing the same amount of success as before

[Asker]

I will look at it when I get the chance I just who I am is what girls want.

[moviedude714]

and let me guess, guys have to control of their own destiny more than girls do, which I hate

[Anonymous]

it's possible. we attract what we want. if you want to be loved, if you want a loving relationship with someone, then y ou need to be open to that possibility

[Asker]

I want to be loved though more than anything

[iSkydive]

If you're needy and self-centered, you're bound to be alone for the rest of your life. Build some self confidence and learn how to focus on making others happy more than you do for yourself.

[Asker]

you don't even know me you can't say I am self centered.

[iSkydive]

I said "IF." But, I'm forced to make an assumption because you don't provide much detail about yourself. All I gather from this question is that people seem to act like you don't exist. My question is... do you acknowledge they exist? That they are a human with wants, desires, and feelings? You might think you do, but you probably don't. In my experience, people are desperate to be noticed. If you TRULY notice them, they will notice you. I speak from personal experience.

[Asker]

I know what you mean but I am not some guy who thinks I am the best I am just a shy guy who is extremely nervous to say hi to a girl I just hide away becaue I am scared

[quantumdefender]

I am 42, and I never had a girlfriend, so yea...god hates nice guys, cause god is a bitchy woman who perfers to date jerks . and give the shoulder to the nice guys.

[Anonymous]

You are doomed brother. Most likely, you'll never find love. Most likely its bad love karma from a previous life. You probably played lots of girls in a previous life and in reincarnation you are being doomed with bad luck when it comes to love. Just accept it.

[moviedude714]

i hate how people say there is someone out there for everyone

[Asker]

Me too