How many times have you been rejected when it comes to dating?

Question

I personally have been rejected probably over 900 times in my lifetime. When you put up those types of numbers rejection becomes "Feedback." and something that helps you not hinders you. Are you putting in the reps? Or are you calling it Quits after a few rejections because it stings or hurts too bad?

My philosophy on rejection is simple. I would rather be rejected and understood then ambiguous in my actions. Meaning, Don't half ass it.

Citizenkirk · Accepted Answer

A high school buddy of mine who is an exchange student from Belgium taught me a few things about Belgium and American girls and how to generally reduce my chances of getting rejected if I'm considering asking a girl out.
He pointed out that I have a tendency to stutter when talking to a girl I like, I was in10th. grade at the time. He was an upperclassmen. Whenever he would be talking on the phone, while I was over hanging out at his sponsor parent's home, also the home if a couple good friends I also happened to be the home of a couple of friends I went too school with, he never asked to go out, he never asked to go on a date, he just simply would say, "hey, you want to f***," "let's go f***!" and she either would be on board, or she wouldn't. If she had a friend my age or who was in my class at school, he asked the same question on behalf of me. Your sister want to f*** Kirk? He's a nice guy. I think he'd be a good f*** for your sister.
For those of you that think that this is crass and disrespectful of feminist values, or simply being impolite, you got to remember the times and the fact that he was a cocky, French speaking foreign exchange student, so he could get away with saying things that would sound downright degrading or rude by an American boy too say. That students of the opposite gender thought were cute and endearing, with a thick accent, let him get away with, like Laurent. If the kids in his household that were friends of mine too, were too say the same thing in front of their parents, or if I'd said the same thing in front of my parents, we would have gotten a bar of soap in the mouth, but not him. He got some chuckles and some good natured ribbing for his European charm and progressionist upbringing, suggesting that it was simply a miscommunication of dialect or language. They said he probably didn't know the right terminology for polite social discourse, when talking to girls, but he knew, because he got straight A's in English class. I was flunking out of English myself, so he tutored me in my native language so I wouldn't have too go too summer school, taking valuable time away from him and his match making attemps at having his f*** buddie's sisters and friends, making me they're f*** buddy, so I could get my brains f***** thoroughly f***** out, by every young eligible girl who knew a girl whose brains that had gotten f****** out on a regular basis, by him.
To this day I don't know how he did it, it's just something about his crass manner in his French accent and his not given a flying f*** attitude that girls at our School couldn't resist, and being in the shadow of his aura, for lack of a better word, got me a lot more female attention than I would have gotten on my own, with my stuttering, nervous band geek - Science Olympiad Aura of my own, that was 100% effective as birth control, but not 1% effective and getting me any kind of action on my own except for a couple girls who were of the same social classification as me

but I'm not going to get into that depressing scenario

right now, since the only reason that I got any action at all, even with my suave, crass too get ass, European Friend Laurent, was the fact that I also did a lot of

which effectively put a stop too all attempts at fitting me, into my own locker at school.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I have no idea. It also depends on how you define rejection; I don't consider walking up to a stranger and chatting a bit then either directly or indirectly finding out one of you isn't interested, or she has a monogamous partner (or says she does), or whatever... to me that's not rejection, that's just... I don't know, reconnaissance?

Out and out rejection, where I've had feelings for someone and confessed to them and had them let me know they weren't interested? Those incidents are pretty few, but I would say the majority of them ended in rejection. If it's a mutual interest, then that kind of confession is rarely necessary, it would only be a sort of romantic gesture if you were both awkward and kind of knew but also kind of didn't know if they were into you.

Another factor for me is once I find out or get the vibe a woman isn't into me, I lose interest. I'm who I am and if that doesn't turn you on or spark interest, then I'm not going to waste my time and energy trying to convince you how awesome I am. I'd rather spend that time and energy with people who already know or finding some new people who will agree. Part of my "issue" if there is one is that I am very accepting of people so I usually find something lovable about just about everyone. But I have come to understand not everyone is going to reciprocate that, so I'm not upset by it at all, I just move on if my attention isn't appreciated. Is that rejection? If so, maybe it happens constantly in the background, without me even noticing it.

Puppystarfish23 · Accepted Answer

Once or twice but never too my face.

First time I was just talking to a boy who was sitting next to me in class because we were seated with mutual friends and I was just trying to be polite and keep him involved with the conversation so he didn't feel left out. Next thing I know his male friends are sniggering at me and calling me slut for talking to him and he said "I have a girlfriend you know?" . Who knew talking to someone made you a slut I must be a massive slut because I love to talk 😅. Didn't even like the boy in that way he was over weight and had really clammy hands but he rejected me anyway when I wasn't even romantically interested.

Second time was s very messy situation and had became one of my biggest rejects in life. I met a boy at work when 19 and we both fell in love for the first time but he cared more about looking cool and being a "player" (he was a virgin) to his mates so rejected me by getting one of his mates to tell me he wasn't interested yet when I backed away he still followed me around like a lost puppy dog when no one was watching and even begged for second chases only for him to let me down again.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Coach, are you purposely trying to depress some of us? This question stings a little. It would be easier to ask me how many times I've NOT been rejected 🤣

So I've been rejected...LOTS. As in the majority of the time I like or express interest in a guy.

Yes guys, women get rejected too- some of us more than others apparently! Hell I've had guys that supposedly liked me rejected me after I asked them out- how does that even work?

"Or are you calling it Quits after a few rejections because it stings or hurts too bad?"
Absolutely. And I have no shame in that either.

Yes, part of being rejected is moving on and trying again. However... when being rejected or friendzoned starts to affect your self esteem and confidence, or you're just tired and need a break from being shot down, there is no shame in taking a break!

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I would say - almost every time I tried to date a guy more intelligent than me who was willing to wait until getting married to have sex due to being religious, I was rejected for not being their ideal wife personality. I think they preferred more intelligent and prettier woman.

razelove · Answer

Oh man, I have no idea. I know it eclipses your 900 number. I think there was a one to two year period that I went past that. Let's see, going out every week, 2 nights a week minimum, 2-10 clubs a night depending on success, hitting on 10-20 women per club.

Just taking the median of those that would be around 7800 plugging that into the calculator real quick. I'm sure you're taking 900 as an extreme lower bound estimate yourself.

Rejection only hurts the first 100 or so times, and you can tear through that in a month if you're determined (you know better than most how slow that snowball starts to roll). I think for most guys if you likened dating to grinding for a rare drop called "contentment" they'd get that more, you grind more, you get more experience, you get more experience, it gets easier, faster, and more efficient. If you find "contentment" you stop the grind for a while to just enjoy contentment, your quest reward.

Let's say the population of a small suburb is my rejection number, that sounds realistic, because I have been a very very busy bee.

meetkitty123 · Answer

I never had problems with datesMy issue was more of sifting through the ones who were not ready to go steady or commitThen there are those who waste your time who claim they want a full commitment but they procrastinate drag their heels won't take the steps needed to fulfill the relationship. Yet they beg you not to go... They keep making promises of change but they never change and they never want you to give up on them... In those cases its hard but I have to find the strength to cut the ties... Only thing with these types it clear by the time the relationship ends so much time and effort was wasted it sucks having to start all over... Back to the drawing board in order to find "the one" the worst is all the months that went by and nothing to show for it but a broken heart and one more brick added to that wall placed around the heart.

devilish-cutie · Answer

If you have been rejecred 900 times you are doing something wrong dispite your age. First off, probably you have too low standards and maybe you were also sometimes desperate. I think men that dont choose women and just go for every or every other won't can only blame themselves for so mich rejections. Its lile going to every company hoping they will hire you without considering are you qualified for that company or take anything else into consideration. You shouldn't justify it as numbers game cause every rejection is painful to some degree n not really thqt good for your well being. Sure one should try and work hard but also be smart about it. I personally rejected men n men rejected me. But those number aren't high.

Anonymous · Answer

Twice
first one stood me up multiple times (I dressed up all nice to go on a date) until he told me that he wasn’t as interested in me as I was him. I was upset and probably said some angry stuff back out of hurt. 2 years later, I upload a new fb picture and he adds me and apologizes while saying I look really good. He said he was sorry that he was just scared of a relationship and wants to talk to him. I rejected it.

second one he wanted to try but he wasn’t sure because I just got out of a relationship but then realized he rather be single. Afterwards he dated a bunch of other girls some of which cheated on him, he really tried to get with me after the 3rd girlfriend. I didn't
because I’m in a committed relationship with someone else now

The_Maphio · Answer

I don't really "make moves".
I just spend time with the person, determine if living with them can be fun, enjoyable or at least tolerable and if things go, we end up in some sort of couple relationship, that then I might or might not decide to officialize. My current partner is with me since 14 years ago and we very much enjoy each other's company. Yet we don't think about marriage in any way shape or form, for instance.

A couple is naturally born when things go well between the two. Rushing thing can tip the scales in the wrong way. Also true, that if things are TOO enjoyable in respect to whatever relationship the other might have going, you might end up crashing someone else's party, so to speak. And some don't take lightly of that. So be wary, or at least inform yourself of her current sentimental situation so to not have to bash some random guy's teeth out later.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Shit loads.

I laugh when people say they just walk up every time and get a date.

I think for every date, it’s about 5 fails, rough, as some are actually first times but not all.

Sort of linked to another question about talking to friends about dating etc, if I do get rejected girl mates are very analytical (to a ridiculous degree lol) on what went wrong, what I should have done, even had them contact the girl and ask why lol, which can be hugely embarrassing.

so yeah, rejection is part of life and you just brush it off and start over but importantly look at why and how, it’s pointless failing for the same thing every time lol.

bizarrely I married the girl (ex wife) that originally turned me down for a date, when I asked her she really did not know why she originally said no.

Rejection also toughens you up and makes things a bit more Realistic in life.

TheLittleInnocent · Answer

Well I've only ever asked out someone once. I'm always too scared to make a first move so I just wait till I move on or get asked out.💀 The one time I chose to do it is the one time I get rejected 😭 In all honesty he never even gave me a direct answer which felt worse.

AzzaBlue · Answer

In person? Twice. If online rejections count, than too many times. I haven't been rejected too many times in person as I don't chase anything with pulse. I am proud to say that I have personal standards. My attitude is simple, I would rather a woman reject me because she is not interested rather than go out with me out of pity. I would find the latter to be utterly offensive.

JakeS00 · Answer

They've mostly rejected me because they were either intimidated by my standards or knew there wasn't going to be any headway for a relationship to become a thing because of my direction. Or be half-assed and compare me to another guy. I've been rejected before many times, and they were apathetic. I wouldn't call it quits. It just wasn't meant to happen. That means my standards are still high, and my heart is still guarded, but my mind is still open.

exitseven · Answer

I had a friend that would ask out anyone with a pulse. He always told me that the worst thing that can happen is they say no. I used to do some research to figure out how datable somebody was before I would ask her out. I think I had better than 50-50 success rate.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Right so, I've never asked anyone out so in that sense no one rejected me. I've had a couple of online dates cancel but that's whatever. If it counts, for some reason when I was younger I was literally not considered so I guess that counts as a rejection.

doopayo · Answer

0x I’ve never asked anyone out cause I remember I had asked my first boyfriend out and he accepted but some girls at my school made me feel bad cause “girls aren’t supposed to ask guys out” so I’ll probably be too scared to ask someone out again.

electromagnetic · Answer

2 Once by that dickhead Ali in highschool and other just ghosted me completely after dating for 6 months when I was 23.

Anonymous · Answer

No idea. It never really mattered to me. The entire dating game is about speaking to a whole bunch of people, and it won’t work out with most of them. This is true for absolutely everybody, whether they experience overt rejection or not. That’s just the dating game.

On any night out at a club I’d be speaking to a lot of women. I wouldn’t ask most of them out. I’d talk to them and try to read whether they were interested in me or not. If not I’d just not bother because there are hundreds of others. Then I meet one who is cute and seems into me, I make my move. Maybe she turns me down. Whatever, move on again.

So I’ve experienced 1 overt rejection, and another 10 didn’t like me either. Maybe more I don’t know, I’m not counting. To me those are all rejections.

Then I meet one who actually is into me, I make a move, it goes well. I either get her number for a date or if I can I take her home. Once I’m balls deep what do I care about the other 10-20?

modelUN242 · Answer

A couple of times, it kind of hurt but guys get rejected much more. It didn’t make me feel entitled because guys have standards too.

BUNroaster · Answer

Had a girl in everyclass in highschool all over me I swear. Had like 10 in choir. One really went at it. I hated it honestly. Made me feel awkward. A few I'd been tempted but truly they were all the same to me. Except some had better booty than others. Never dated either. Was voted most mysterious. Got more attention after that. Had people hitting me up on snap. Stood a girl up sort of, told her I didn't want to. One grazed my dick with her hand a few times while I was in line, complete accident I am sure... kinda liked that one ngl tho. Some were more sane and talked to me, slapped my ass almost daily but friendly. Slapped her back too. Best that came out of it. One showed me her nudes by "accident" on her phone. I literally rolled my eyes and walked away. I had one bring me flowers, one gave me her earing. Like noone just conversed except 2 or 3. I only tried to have sex with one and it went absolutely horrible.

anylolone · Answer

Honestly, almost every time, though I tend to approach people that I know will reject me to build humility.

If they wouldn't I don't approach them, I tempt them into approaching and they do or someone else does, which is how I was a massive slut.

JamieLoves · Answer

Once... That’s it... it’s never a thrill to be rejected. Girls get rejected too.
How could you possibly know that it was 900 times? Here’s a fact. In a large city as NYC, anyone can walk up to the opposite sex, ask 10 women if they’d like to have sex and you will get at least 1 women that says yes. It’s 1 in 10 ... it’s been demonstrated over and over. It’s an absolute Fact ! I absolutely don’t understand your difficulties...

lumos · Answer

Maybe like... 5 times? Out of 7-ish I think. It's very rare for me to get a crush on someone and I don't really ask people out unless I have a crush on them (or I feel like they're the type I'd get a crush on). I'm a quality over quantity gal.

Ousaf1 · Answer

You are right but it sucks that you make a connection with someone and at the end it was all for nothing you might have learned something but the connection that you tried to build up just went up in flames.

HawkPerception · Answer

I've only ever asked a girl out 3 times. Rejected by 2 of them. 3rd was my ex I was with for a little under 3 years. Let's just say every time I ask a girl out and they say no, my confidence goes down a notch.

Kcram · Answer

I don't know why but I've been rejected by women all my life when I was a kid I had lots of zits and I was overweight and I got teased a lot by the girls and every time I try to ask him about they just act like I was just just ugly if they never seen so I did a lot of lot of damage to my confidence and I really never gain that back but I've been rejected by women all my life and I've got used to it I've gotten over it I'm 60 years old and it still hurts I wish I could have found somebody out there

Levin · Answer

I mean, I don't know, 100s of times probably.

It's not something I'm bothered about because I'm usually unconsciously rejecting the girl, anyway. Deep down we know what is right for us. And it's usually not our passing dick fancy. Most of the girls weren't actually good enough for me.

You're right, it's a good feedback mechanism.

WowwGirl · Answer

I LOVE the Chase!  My answer would sound like a jerk so, I respectfully decline to answer your question sir.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Honestly 🤔 don't think ever

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Shit, Coach, at least give me a beer as I go into the filing cabinet.

anonbrunette99 · Answer

I never shoot my shot but if you consider liking someone back then them losing interest or finding someone else as rejection then I’ve probably been rejected 7 times from what I can remember...

Adam1978 · Answer

I don't keep count, that would just be a depressing value. Best to not count bad things, it will just ruin any chances you might have. Just learn and move on.

GnatSocks · Answer

In person? 50? Something like that. Over apps (where we connected and chatted and I got around to asking for a date)? 15? 30? I don't know. I'm guessing.

JBlade · Answer

4 but that was before graduating from college. Shifted my focus to more important things like my career. Don't know if I'll date in the future, currently it's way too much work for very little reward.

Midnight_Kiss · Answer

Twice but in fairness I've only been the first to make a move twice, there probably won't be a third, it's up to whoever I'm destined to be with to do the leg work now.

Not_Average · Answer

“I personally have been rejected probably over 900 times.” Lmfao maybe you’re doing something wrong my man. I don’t look at connections with women as reps. If we vibe and I’m interested enough, I’ll make a move. Usually it’s reciprocated if the connection has already been established.

jasco · Answer

I say about 8 to 10 times, not that many times sense i stop asking out women

Jjpayne · Answer

Have not been approached in public or reached out to on a dating site so I'd call that a lot over time...

pigoat · Answer

Ladies should just count their rejections on how many times they rejected a man Otherwise it could between fron one to none on average  Keep this question interesting ladies

Zzmaex · Answer

I’ve never asked anyone out before, but I’ve had to reject some boys before who like to moan and speak like chipmunks. 😐

ChiTown33 · Answer

50. You're right coach. And i know it's a small number in comparison to your 900. But i'm less bothered by the amount than the 0 for 50. I figure if i can't get a " yes" in 50 then i'm not going to get one.
And frankly seeing what's out there now i just don't think (most) women are worth the effort. Women know where i am. They can approach me. They can endeavor to change my mind. Either way i'll be just fine.😁

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I have been rejected 4 times. These incidents happened at age 9, age 10, age 13, and age 15.

I was half-rejected at age 26. (She wanted to have sex with me but not a relationship.)

And then I was semi-ghosted at age 32.

Myk13 · Answer

I couldn’t agree with you more.
It would be a wild guess as to what my rejection number is. My number is probably somewhere around yours. It never crossed my mind to keep track of something so silly. Some days it seems higher and some days I feel like I’ve never been “rejected”.

kannettava · Answer

I think once or twice. I don't usually put myself in a situation to be rejected.

genericname85 · Answer

i can't tell you total numbers, cause frankly: i don't remember all of the rejections. but it's definitely above 90% of the times. but the under 10% that ended up not rejecting me weren't what i want.

DiegoO · Answer

Never did. Until 2019-2020 I was able to get over a 2017 breakup, so, no. I am fine with it.

Not sure about my ex. Little after we breakup she started dating a guy, a year after she told me personally, but that's because her dad run his ass from his house (she still live with parents), so she wanted to use me as her blanket. Long story, the thing is accordingly, it was gonna be serious. If it was the case, and knowing her well, I believe the pandemic devastated her relationship.

BubbaTech · Answer

Total 635

125 or so claim bad timing... But later on 50 of those wish they had not pretended to date that other guy the eventually landed...

He is a jerk, never cared about her needs or goals, abused or cheated on her.

1 in the bed next to her while she watched in disbelief.

hsshannah96 · Answer

3. if you include a guy who I had a relationship with for 3 mos who dumped me, 4.

jillybeanns · Answer

I’m not sure tbh. Unless you consider being ghosted a form of rejection, then 2-3 times

Anonymous · Answer

On mild rejections (guy stop texting back for example, also online dating) it is a couple of hundreds. After a couple of dates it has been maybe 20-30 and like a handful I dated for a longer time.

InferiorElegy · Answer

Only ever been rejected, I never counted rejections as that would be too depressing but if I had to estimate, I say over 1000 for sure,(I used to be confident and asked out lots of girls everyday)

Typhon_ · Answer

Only 1 time, I can't even find girls that can go that far w me, having a unique personality is already a big cut in chances of finding someone I'll like.

John_Doesnt · Answer

I never get rejected because I only use dating sims.  She can't say no

sheikalana · Answer

I don't remember being rejected but I also never had to approach a guy.

AdithyaR · Answer

I've asked out one girl till now, got rejected once. Haven't felt like trying again.

Bellatris · Answer

I'm reluctant to answer this question because I just know that people will say I'm lying, and I'll get a lot of 'thumbs down', but... I've never been rejected.

Anonymous · Answer

Do dating apps count? If not, I'd say in real life I've been rejected 3 times.

Splatzonelover1 · Answer

got rejected by guy from high school and give him a letter to and he did rejected me. Other times it just been some one guy that Also rejected since one then called me ugly. Also rejected some guys online dating as well.

Anonymous · Answer

Zero times, its only because i never put myself in the risk of being rejected.

KneeDragger · Answer

In all honesty I don't remember because it is in the past and being rejected allowed me to date another lady and it was her loss.

Enochian · Answer

I lost count. But I’ve been rejected all my life... by my parents, family, friends, even women I liked.. but the trick is to be like Elsa from frozen and let it go

legalboxers · Answer

If I had a $1.00 every time. I could pay every mother fuckers debt. Even those who didn't deserve it

Minahh · Answer

I don't get rejected too often because usually I don't ask guys out.

How many times have you been rejected when it comes to dating?

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