Is it wrong for a man to want a modest woman?

Question

I started online dating recently and I see so many women wearing slutty clothes and having ass shots on their profile pics. I don't like that because it tells me that she doesn't have much to offer to the table beyond her looks, so I just swipe left. I've been accused of being weak, boring, and "can't handle an attractive independent woman." Of course, I care about looks, and I like big butts and big boobs like all other guys, but I also want someone that I can marry, have kids with, and die with me, and I don't think that women who use their looks really offer that.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's not wrong.

In ecology there's the theory of fast vs slow life history strategies. These are the mating strategies of different animals which depend on which strategy works best for the survival of the species.

Fast life history strategists tend to live shorter lives. They tend to just fuck a lot of different members of the opposite sex and have as many children as possible, with little parental investment, in the hope that some of them will survive, rabbits for example.

Slow life history strategists tend to live longer, tend to pair bond more and invest more in the young because they take longer to mature, wolves for example.

There are both fast and slow life history strategists in humans also.

Fast life strategists have the YOLO mentality, and they tend to be more interested in looking for and displaying more superficially attractive traits, since their focus is on short-term pleasure seeking and they don't tend to think much about long-term. They tend to be less family oriented. Girls showing a lot of skin, guys with muscles and tattoos taking shirtless selfies, these are always fast life strategists.

Slow life strategists have the "slow and steady wins the race" mentality, and while they might also want somebody who is good looking they tend to be more interested in traits which make a good long-term partner.

Each will tend to turn off the other. You're a slow life strategist on an app filled with fast life strategists. Simply incompatible. You don't understand them, they especially don't and will never understand you.

You need to look elsewhere, a place where slow life strategists go. If it must be online as others have said there are Christian sites, or whatever you're into. You're more likely to find someone there. That's the problem with a lot of guys today, they just look in the wrong places.

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

Quite ironic that the women who call themselves “independent” are the same ones who are DEPENDENT on their looks and have very little to offer other than that. Comes with the attitude reinforced by all the simps pedestalizing them and thus making them believe they are Goddesses on this earth simply for existing.

To answer your question: No it’s not wrong. And don’t you dare allow some insecure snowflake or slut tell you otherwise. These thots are not relationship material. Plain and simple. You don’t have to respect a woman who doesn’t respect herself. No man with self-respect is going to settle for a woman who sells herself to other men. By you wanting a respectable and modest woman actually shows value, maturity and intellect on your end. In comparison to some simp who is getting dragged by his little head instead of his big head.

Don’t ever settle for less.

SomeBlondeChick · Accepted Answer

Let me be blunt as a strong independent woman.

The girls you describe - dressing and acting like tramps, really - are NOT independent. Nor strong. They're sheep. Crowd followers. Band wagoners. Lemmings. They do what others do so how on earth are they "independent". If a few million women in your country all dress & act like a local prostitute how is that "independent"?

Really they're an insult to the dub of independent women because they dress as they do due to low self-esteem / self-respect and need validation of their "worth" by others. Independent means a person ***DOES NOT**** need someone else to validate their worth. Anyone who needs others' validation is NOT independent.
.

As for is it "wrong" to want a modest woman. Hardly. As least that likely means she has a sense of self esteem, self worth and self-respect.

Alpha09 · Accepted Answer

Not at all. Your entitled to your preferences just like everyone else. However I will point out that your assuming women who are beautiful and show themselves off have nothing else to offer. Not every one of them does, some people only have that unfortunately. But a lot also have much more. When you're swiping and you see a modest woman and women who isn't, what else are you getting until you talk to them? I've spoken to a fair amount of women, and some of the ones who show off thier asses and wear short skirts might just surprise you 🤷

modelUN242 · Answer

Men like you are respectable. I don’t respect guys who go for sluts.

Girls who dress modest can bring other values instead of just offering their bodies. Do sluts have interesting hobbies or are they insightful? Or are they obsessed with sex and being narcissistic 24/7?

janellie1917 · Answer

It’s not wrong but don’t insult or judge women you don’t know. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. Modesty is subjective. A lot of people like showing skin and wearing unconventional clothing or whatever they like. You can only judge what will work for you. I see men with dead animals in their profile and I find it revolting but they’re proud of it. Not my place to call them names and insult them. But I will say hey that’s not for me and I find it weird that men will go kill something or cause harm just for fun and post it smiling, proud of killing just to kill instead of to eat or use. I don’t find that to be a modest man. But another woman could see that and be like wow, he accomplished that. It’s all subjective so we really shouldn’t be placing negative associations on each other.

devilish-cutie · Answer

It depends. When someone is having slutty pics obviously its reasonable to assume they r not looking for anything serious. If a girl has a bit sexy but nice pics i wouldn't assume right away she was a slut. Anyways i would look at the complete profile of somekne to determine how they r by the way they preaent themselves. Qnd if i reqlly like q guy and im unsure about his profile (maybe he has a photo without ahirt) but i would give him a chance as its not always asbit seems. I met a guy with such a profile and he was actually nice and good guy. I assume as he was sporty he wanted to show of his physique as he ofc thinks women would find that attractive. So it reqlly depends. But profiles that look really slutty for sure swipe left!

FictionalCharacter · Answer

Well, all the guys on dating apps say:

-“not looking for anything serious at moment. Just want to hang out”

-“looking for a travel ‘buddy’

-“let’s hang”

-“message me to see where it goes”

Do any of these ☝🏻 Examples sound relationship material for a modest girl?

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Answer

Try Christian mingle instead of tinder. There are websites for like minded people to find each other. Don’t ad adjectives because it’s a bit rude and they are probably upset at you because calling someone slutty is disrespectful. Everyone in NC wears shorts and crop tops when it’s hot , bigger girls and even some men.

Daniela1982 · Answer

These women are disgusting and post those pics for a couple of reasons, they want casual sex or don't have anything to offer a guy except sex. No brain, no personality, high maintenance, a loser in life. I don't know what site you are on but I'm sure these pics are reportable violations. Do your part to clean up these dating sites by reporting these photos for breaking terms of service TOS.

Anonymous · Answer

I really commend you for being honest and wanting a modest women. I also think that classy is something that should be admired and not constantly emphasizing about our bodies but being mindful of our minds and how we present ourselves. I can't speak for everybody but modest women always get overlooked and if you aren't kim kardashian or have something like that then it's not worth getting to know. It's hard to find men where I live who actually just want a girl to be classy and modest and beautiful and not dressing up a certain way or flaunting their bodies. There is nothing wrong with wanting a modest women they are the best ones! Everyone is entitled to their own way of living and modest or unmodest we don't have to please everyone because everyone doesn't have good intentions. They either are attracted to your body or they can be inspired by your mind. Again not speaking for everybody but modest women deserve just as much love as any other type of women too.

virtue2332 · Answer

Look we can't knock women who are comfortable and proud of their bodies. Let them celebrate what they have. We shouldn't assume they are sluts and easy just like people shouldn't judge your sexual prowess for choosing to be conservative. I don't understand why people are soo offended and judgmental. Life doesn't have to be that way. To put it simply if it's not your thing than don't look just move passed it and on to something you do like. We all have different bodies personalities and a large spectrum of types that we are into and the good thing is there are plenty of people out there that match you individually. Rather than spend time judging people and reinforcing stereotypes we should focus on building meaningful relationships with the people that we match with. We should be open to looking at things from a different perspective and be more accepting if possible.

Jesus_is_the_guey · Answer

If more people thought like you there wouldn’t be so much cheating, divorce, and relationship issues. But to he frank we’re fucked as a society and our dating culture is beyond screwed keep looking ! I found my wife in tinder and she’s everything I wanted in a woman.

razelove · Answer

What you want is what you want. A lot of online dating is playing the field, some of it is people looking to pursue long term relationships. You don't pursue a long term relationship with someone playing the field. That's like trying to plant chickens and wondering why they don't grow. Wrong environment.

GrimmGothBabe · Answer

Online dating is all about face value. They are all set up to show what someone has to offer in the most vulgar way. Superficial looks values and what the individual provides about themselves that they are willing to share. The best way to find a modest woman is to date in person and the old fashioned way preferably someone with a less active social media presence.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Yeah I kind of have the same view as you women who post pics like that just strike me as all looks and no substance and have nothing really to offer aside from looking pretty.

They also strike me as insecure and needing consistent attention and validation which if they didn't need that they wouldn't be posting pics like that online for strangers and that just kind of strikes me as them being a vain kind of person.

Zeppelinrocks · Answer

It’s not wrong of you to want that, just like it’s not wrong for them to post “slutty” pictures of themselves. What is wrong is either side being judgmental to the other just because they don’t follow the same moral code for dressing.

Anonymous · Answer

No its not wrong at all just like how its not wrong for a girl to want to date a good guy and isn't a ladies man who hasn't stuck his dick in plenty of pussies, good luck with that 🙄 if you want to date a good girl, you better fit those standards too. Guys want a modest, virgin girl all the time, but yet want a lot of sexual experience. Oh the double standards..

msbrightness · Answer

I don't believe there is anything more right.
It's the for-profit-advertising that made the globe want rich rich rich - and those are usually just prostitutes with tons of baggage (or someone from high society but they usually behave modestly anyhow)
The 'rich looking' girl is usually a bagful of problems, a golddigger expecting you to finance her continuation of the said imaginary lifestyle.

RelevantJ · Answer

Nope want what u want.

So you allowed to want a modest woman but women that aren't are wrong because you bore them. 😂did u think u the only one with standards?
Obviously you boring af to free minded women.

You can't be modest and expect open women to find u as there type.

Just like they ain't your type you ain't our type.😂

I be laughin conservative men be downing women that have no interest in them like we care😂

Syrian_survivor · Answer

Thing is, the most attractive guys tend to love these kinds of immodest women, they're shallow and get lots of female attention and rarely want anything serious. Because they're so attractive, so many girls wanna appeal to them and have their shot with them to feel worthy and better about themselves, take it as a confidence or ego boost.

I'm pretty sure immodest women would be much less common if the sexiest guys only preferred modest wife-material women, sadly that's not the case.

jasmine_0603 · Answer

No, that's totally fine and maybe even more mature. Confident, independent girls don't need to flash their boobs or butts to feel good.

serious · Answer

No, nothing wrong if that is what a man really wants. Standards, criteria for a person whom they want in their lives are something that is subjective and it is up to them to keep whatever standards they wish to keep and it is up to them to see that the standards they have are realistic.

alexander3244 · Answer

Of course, it's not wrong, those who accuse you of "being weak" are morons and you shouldn't listen to them. Find the one who makes you happy, do the right things to strengthen your relationship and stop caring what other people think, it's your life afterall.

Anonymous · Answer

" I've been accused of being weak, boring, and "can't handle an attractive independent woman."
This is exactly the opposite. You are being great by choosing for girls who are worth it instead of all those girls who only care about looks.

Anonymous · Answer

Welcome to the decline of the west, relationships and dating are a thing of the past. You are not going to find the kind of woman you want ANYWHERE, they DONT exist anymore. Anyone telling you that you can find them is LYING THOUGH THEIR FUCKING TEETH.

Jazquee · Answer

That is really sweet and rare. Good for you. And if you treat a modest woman right. She can. Be a nasty freak behind doors. too 😜

jaybee281 · Answer

Nope - we all do actually for long term relationships and marriage - you're not alone - we just don't say it so we can fuck the chick that is on the left and her sister before we leave again - capito?

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah it's a reason I stopped using dating sites and am just trying to naturally meet girls in real life..

If girls are dong that they want attention and a lot of it...

Not in all cases, so don't judge right away because some girls may be nice and that's the only way they learned to get attention from a boy

hippio · Answer

those women who dress for getting male attention are completely whore, can't stand for themselves and always remains depended for a lover. and these types of people never gets respect

Archerer · Answer

It's just a preference, it's not wrong to want a modest girl or an immodest one. The problem is you started online dating. Why go to the source of the thing you don't want then complain about it? Find a church instead, that is where you find modest women.

7771999 · Answer

Only degenerates think so. Modest women have self respect. They don't need to show their bodies off either.

exitseven · Answer

Why would you want to be with somebody that parades around like a whore?

taeh_ie2 · Answer

Never wrong. I love that you want more then just physical attraction.

Leavesbound · Answer

I prefer a woman who is modest in public and dirty slut in the bedroom.

RCLJT · Answer

Really wouldn’t want a woman that shows her goods to the whole world. If she’s showing her goods, she’s giving her goods.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Obviously you should not be looking for a potential partner at a hookup site.  Look for matrimonial sites or sites for serious dating.  To answer your question, it's not wrong to have preferences

slatyb · Answer

You have to talk tomorrow someone to determine that. I just go for the smart ones.

etexbearkat · Answer

I'd rather date a woman who dresses modestly. To me, it shows me she has self respect.

Anonymous · Answer

you're not wrong and neither are the women who’s style you do not prefer

Massageman · Answer

No, it's not. We are free to want whatever type we want!

Twalli · Answer

by the way, I don't like big butts or big boobs. So not all guys would swipe left on them for that reason

Anonymous · Answer

The girl on the left is probably a filthy hoe. If modest women looked like her that would be nice though 😭

Still-alive · Answer

Its not wrong but just dont judge women who are not modest. Let them be.

Wiredone · Answer

No it's not wrong. Not all guys need a charm on their arm

monkeynutts · Answer

No that’s natural, but other guys go for those girls, so no one looses out.

Wise4myage · Answer

Of course not. I happen to like it myself. But its also nice when a girl isn't modest.

OddBeMe · Answer

preferences shouldn't be too analyzed. unless you know... you're racist.

AmeerX · Answer

I think like you and sadly I haven't had luck myself either. Be strong

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone has preferences. So no it's not wrong as long as you're not one of thos hypocrites who want a modest woman as a girlfriend in his home while you bang and appreciate those sluts

JSmuve · Answer

Gawd damn that ass on the left is immodest. White girl's got that hood booty for days. I think we all need a girl with that kind of ass.

Shiningtempest · Answer

In my opinion, it's not wrong for a man to prefer a modest woman.

darkcloud1945 · Answer

It is her call to have an ass shot or if it was allowed a uncovered vulva shot. All you have to bypass the shot or people you do not like and every one is happy

cookieman12 · Answer

Not wrong at all. If anything that’s probably my own preference

Unit1 · Answer

And then some girls complain, that men only want one thing. /sarcasm

Anonymous · Answer

Ur not right for that, matter of fact u have a respectful mindset and you deserve someone that matches it

Anonymous · Answer

The one girl that said that it’s wrong has a butt pic in her bio

Anonymous · Answer

Why not swipe right on the girl on the left and if you get a date with her, have some fun for a few weeks? Best of both worlds!

Coulis · Answer

Of cooouuurrrssse not!

MzAsh · Answer

What platform are you using?

KatherineJ · Answer

You are entitled to want who you want.

Dontaaa · Answer

No, of course it's not wrong.

genericname85 · Answer

There's no wrong to personal preference.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

No; that's exactly what I want---a modest woman.

Is it wrong for a man to want a modest woman?

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Is it wrong for a man to want a modest woman?

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