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Do You Think It's Okay To Be Hooking Up With Someone While Looking To Date Others?
- 826 opinions shared on Dating topic.
I think the pursuit of quality over quantity is a better strategy for giving you a better outcome in you're dating strategies or social life. If you're trying to juggle three or four partners at a given time, with the assumption that the more you have too choose from, the more likely you are, too have a good companion from that selection of eligible companions, is just fundamentally flawed.
When working at Rivera Tool@Die, I had too answer to a new set of owners every other week, it seemed, and when a group of foreign investors representing Mercedes BMW took over production management after buying out the company, after a long succession of other owners before them, most of them foreign investment groups representing Asian companies, that had the same idea as they did about higher profits while cutting cost and avoiding tariffs, some corporate Head Honcho from Germany is yelling to one of his underlings in Germany on his cell phone and then yelling at my boss in really badly accented broken English, about a deviation of about two and a half microns on a drip pan for a Mercedes and some other issues concerning the engine of one of their S-Class models.
I see my boss storming my way about to give me hell about it. I knew that the whole place is getting shut down in a matter of a few days anyway, and didn't want to hear it, because I already heard the German version in the men's room while using one of the urinals, with him shouting behind me on his phone, and had no desire to listen to the English version of that rant, so when he reached my station I held my hand up, showed them the substandard materials we were working with, with the cold rolled steel material, showed them the worn bushings and carbon filaments on the shafts of the 1000 ton presses, kept it short and simple for his lack of comprehension the English language, indicating worn out, these need replacing, and crappy material no good and took them over to the next aisle down over with piles of thousands of aluminum compressed engine blocks and the aisle next to it with the shiny brand new, never to be used composite tool steel pistons, rings and drive cams, and pressure plates, saying "good quality materials, good workmanship, all within specksheet tolerances that surpass what you got going back home. On their way to the scrap yard because your company is too cheap to give qualified machinist and press operators hours to put them together. They're unemployed now, I'm going to be unemployed in 2 weeks, and you're going to be unemployed a week after that if you are expected to produce quality parts from the cheapest Cold rolled steel and aftermarket extruded aluminum with no quality control information available from the supplier.
I was wrong about me being unemployed within two weeks, because they gave me the floor managers job, and kept me on for 3 weeks, cuz they needed someone to oversee the dismantling of the plant, make sure everything got to the scrap yard the way it was supposed to. My point, you can juggle two or three or four guys or girls, whichever your situation is at a given time, if you want to, thinking that the more you got to choose from, the better your options are. But chances are, that if these people have such little self-esteem and not enough self-respect to avoid that scene in the first place, than chances are, you are working with a lot of cheep cold rolled, aftermarket losers with no quality control criteria too work with.
Not much to build a quality relationship on.
Most Helpful Opinions
- 4.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.
I find it to be extremely selfish and narcissistic to want to keep someone on the line while you see what else is out there.
If you want to sleep around. Hey, that's your choice. But then don't get into a relationship. Bounce around and fuck your heart out. But don't pretend to be someone you are not. Because if you are into that... your not into dating and loving someone other than. Yourself.
If you choose to be in a relationship... then BE IN it. Try... love and see the real way through trial and error if they are someone you want to be with.
Don't toy with others' emotions for your selfish gain... that's fucked up.
- 3.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.
NO. Anyone that says otherwise is part of the problem with dating.
I'm sorry but when I'm with someone or getting to know him, I ONLY focus on him and no one else!
How tacky is that to sleep around when you're getting to know someone else? That tells me you're not serious about dating, or just after sex.
What Girls & Guys Said
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59Opinion
- 2.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
It's funny that people want to NOT stop sleeping with someone else while pursuing a relationship with others but if they were married OH BOY that would be a huge problem.
Like I am married but I am looking for someone before I get divorced. Ha It's all the same shit.
I'll pass. - 11.6K opinions shared on Dating topic. u
Having a partner for sexual satisfaction would be physically satisfying, but I want to be fully available for a new partner if I am dating and meeting a good prospect.
21.8K opinions shared on Dating topic. I dont do and I have never done that for many personal reasons, however, I consider it to be okay.
They are not in a relationship. Therefore, I see no issue unless they lie about it.-
I remember a girl I had a few dates with once when I was 20 was doing exactly this. She was fucking one of her neighbours regularly and yet she started dating me. She also went on a rant the second date about how bad some of her previous dates were and let it slip that she went on more than one date in the previous month before me with guys who took her to a bar that ended with her fucking them because she was buzzed or drunk.
Maybe that should've been a red flag but I'm me so I always think "would I want someone to judge me on my past?" Because someone could fucking harshly judge me based on my past very easily.
But the kicker was I think date number 3 or 4 I went to go pick her up and, A: The dude was still in her apartment and I could tell because it definitely wasn't her shirt or mine in her doorway and, B: She had totally just had sex like an hour or so before I picked her up.
Again, I'm the kind of guy who doesn't want to judge. I mean it's not like we were exclusive and tbh with my past (or lack thereof) no matter what happens I'm never gonna be able to believe that some girl loves me the way that I love her, I'm always gonna feel like number 2 or 3 or 44. But that night I really felt like trash so I just went on the date, took her home and never called her again.
I somewhat raised my standards after that. 316 opinions shared on Dating topic. I must admit that the whole friends with benefits is way off my radar - I don't know how near or far from the truth I am but I honestly believe that it is nigh on impossible for friends with benefits to get really close (as in couple wise) without one or both developing feelings. If you want to "Hook Up" , have casual flings , if you want "Date" , date. I think the middle ground is fraught with danger with every expectation of one or both getting hurt.
I agree with you , there has to be a line somewhere either you want to hook up or search for a relationship. If at any stage , dating looks possible, for me personally line would be quite early, go exclusiveNO WHY WOULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER IT, I think us as women and esp for me as im a mam of 3x girls like many more mums we need to be respected , And if we’re not sleeping with them we are still giving them a piece of us were still saying asleep around her ideasAnd if we’re not sleeping with them we are still giving them a piece of us were still dating, It’s a no from me definitely I’m not going to give every man the opportunity to say they didn’t me even if it was only for a day or two still stay no I don’t sleep around self-respect
Women/Girls listen what we have is powerful (ourprivate) as long as wehat we have is powerful more then we know 💓🇬🇧🍀🛍❤️4.1K opinions shared on Dating topic. 'in theory', you're still single, you're free to do whatever.
Now would I be able to do that? No. Dating multiple people at once? No. In my eyes, when you date, you're looking for someone to commit with, right? To be in a relationship with, so act accordingly and don't sleep around. I had a friend with benefits but as soon as I took interest in my now boyfriend, I stopped that friends with benefits relationship altogether. We should commit to that person only, I feel like, for him, but for you as well.These are one of these things that I say.
Imagine telling the person you're on a day with that you're also hooking up with someone else.
Their reaction to you telling them that with show whether that it's okay or not.
I don't care what anyone says, that is something you would want to know if you're looking for a serious relationship.
And if you object on not wanting to tell them then you already know you're in the wrong.
If you know you're not doing anything wrong then there's nothing to hide.- 706 opinions shared on Dating topic.
I think it's fair game to hook up with other people before defining an exclusive relationship.
That being said, I think its also fair, to go into date 1 stating that you prefer to date (sexually or otherwise) one partner at a time, and are willing to hold out for someone, and therefore would want that same energy back.
If someone doesn't like that approach, then they're not for you, and thank you next.
I've dabbled on both sides of the fence. I can say, you're more likely to have a committeed relationship with regular sex if you invest in one, rather than spending all your free time trying to impress new people.
The experience is fun, the attention is great, but after a while, it becomes less meaningful. People move on and people dating to have fun aren't usually dating to stay. I agree with you 100 % , I might talk a lot of shit on here, but I believe in me and if I like somebody I don't need to be out chasing anybody else, it's just who I am , i mean I can say this is crazy , but I do the same thing when I find a sexting or role play , even , phone sex partner, I feel , if this person is giving me this part of them it needs to be respected, it's sounds stupid but that's just the way it is , stupid is what stupid does
- Anonymous(25-29)
Okay I’m gonna say one thing and one thing only, I believe as long as both people are honest and clear and lay the truth out on the table as if their only having fun together whether that’s a casual relationship or friends with benefits, I don’t see the problem as long as they make that clear together and their not going around fucking other people at the same time and it’s just them two and they have a solid connection but if their dating other people or seeing someone where it’s potentially serious then okay that’s messed up and disgusting but other than that I don’t see the problem as long as they stay safe and don’t lie about stuff
It's frustrating, but not surprising, that so many people think they own a person they are dating. Dating is not a commitment, a sexual relationship is not a commitment... making a commitment is a separate and important step to make sure both partners are on the same page. You should be dating more than one person at a time, otherwise you're either (1) constantly jumping from one relationship to the next with frequent depressive episodes, or (2) never going to have enough time to meet enough people to find one you can put up with "forever." Most of the people I know in happy, strong relationships were dating several other people when they met their SO. I was dating three besides my wife, she knows about it and was dating several also. Don't make your potential SO hide this from you, and you won't be staring with a lie.
- 2.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.
That has happened on Columbo and other police procedurals quite often as a story arc leading to a motive (having the hooker-upper in the wings while offing the spouse), but I digress - - - - -
This type of dual-relationship-type is not okay. But murder isn't okay and that still continues as well. It's hard enough for me to keep track of a wife - I don't have time to hook up even IF I had the chance! - 5.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Starting out with lies yes. There was a rule my friends with benefits did not break at the time. If someone came along that we wanted to actively date and we wanted to pursue we would not meet for sex. Thats where the friends part came in. In fact we encouraged each other to date because we wanted to be happy. We knew we were never going to be together but we always helped each other to find the one we wanted.
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No a big NO! Why would i sleep with someone else if i want a relationship with another? It doesn't make sense, does it? And why do so many people wanna sleep around? I can easily do myself and hold in untill i get a new serious relationship. Because that is just cheap and slutty.
Interesting! If one is honest with all parties then it is consensual adults sharing time and space. To deceptively explore multiple entanglements (lol) is selfish and self servicing! He/she should always allow the other party to make an informed decision!
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I agree with you. I was seeing this guy and he told me a month in that he was still casually hooking up with this girl but hardly ever and she doesn’t matter to him but it really ruined the image I had of him tbh. Like he can’t hold off sex while he’s dating someone he’s into? That’s a red flag in my opinion. If he is incapable of not having sex in the moment while seeing someone he’s into, it kinda makes me wary if he’d sexually cheat down the line or like why he can’t control that animal impulse just a little. Just tacky in my opinion
NO, NO AND NO !!
It's should be a crime.
How can someone use others or even if others are okay with it, they're gonna ruin the life of the person they're targeting to date.
That's why I don't trust anyone.-
I’m inclined to agree with you. I mean, it’s going to be an awkward convo if you tell you date you kinda like him but you also occasionally get with somebody else just for fun. Then again it would be a cool plot for a romance novel.
- 492 opinions shared on Dating topic.
I wouldn't do that, so for me it is not alright to do. Remember! It bacame a sport to have as many sexual incounters as possible and make it look cool. How the fuck is that cool? I don't get
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