Do you believe it's okay to be talking to/dating multiple people at once? If so, are you upfront with them that there are others?

Question

And would you be okay talking to/dating someone you know is talking to/dating other people at the same time? Me: 👇 And to me:👇

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

to talk and date others... to me is hanging out and getting to know others and just that, that's what it means to me and to me that's fine when people are upfront about it... because then you know what you're getting into as well as the other is

now... if the dating is progressing and turning into "more serious" dating stages, once it has gone over that "we're just getting to know each other and hanging out" that's a bit different to me, and that needs some consideration from my part

personally, I've never done it myself... and I don't think I would do it either because I don't date much in the first place, or at all... lol

when I meet someone and I'm into someone I usually just don't have any interest on others, and I refer to the aspect of "dating" I still go out and hang out with my friends, but "dating" others no... I just focus on the person that has gotten my attention

as for others... it has happened once, that the one that ended up being my girlfriend later, she had been going out and meeting others as well but it was just that and those were college days... she did go out with two other guys who asked her out (by the way, I never asked her out lmao... not once) but she made it very clear to them and also to me... they were just going out to hang out, have some fun, getting to know each other but well, at some point I was like you know what, I kind of want you for myself and that was it

ohshee · Accepted Answer

I don't know I'm kind of weird when it comes to this I believe that when it's known that you are interested in somebody then that's when you stop with everybody else I have a couple friends that are girls and they have been dating guys that are still dating other girls and the way that I see it is they just want their cake and eat it too like one of the girls told me that he wants to take these other girls so he can make a choice so you can pick somebody and I think that's just a line of bullshit
I mean when I talk to somebody and I flirt the roundabout way and if something was to get serious I mean I would stop doing it or even tried doing it with others that I chat with because I just don't think that's cool
I I mean even though I'm single if I'm interested in somebody I stop all activity with anybody else that's just because that's who I am I mean if you want something to work or if you want to see if something will work cuz that's what you have to be focused on you can't have an excuse of well we're not together you know what I mean but I'm trying to say I hope so because I do but I don't LOL no I know what I'm trying to say and for me the answer is no

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

When I was in middle school a boy tried to give me a 'going steady' ring so not like an engagement ring but one so that others would know that I was in a committed relationship with him.

I refused and told him that I wanted to still be able to date others as well.

Maybe we should go back to that system.

I think instead of assuming someone is yours exclusively, yes, it should be agreed to up front.

If someone goes out with you it isn't right to condemn her, or him, for not asking permission to go out with someone else as well. That is just wrong in my opinion.

One philosopher said..."Expect nothing and you shall never be disappointed". My clarification to that is "Only expect what you have been promised, and, depending on who the promise is from, even then sometimes with a grain of salt" ~Laurie Hunter

"Never expect that trust is owed to you, it has to be earned" ~Laurie Hunter

Do you believe it's okay to be talking to/dating multiple people at once? If so, are you upfront with them that there are others?

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I wouldn’t do it. I like to remain “exclusive” in the talking or dating stage. That’s only because I think it could lead people on and it treats people as back up options.

When I talk to someone, I only talk to them. If I go on dates with someone, I only go on dates with them. If things don’t work out, I stop seeing or talking to the other person, and I move onto the next.

If things get serious with someone, I don’t need to worry about telling other people I’m talking to/seeing that I’m not interested anymore, or that I found someone else.

ManOnFire · Answer

Never have thought this was okay personally. If I'm dating someone it's because I'm interested in getting to know them, so I want to work on that one person and see how it goes. Dating multiple people at once seems like some kind of team try-outs to me, like you're not really that serious about meeting The One but that you're excited by playing around with different people and seeing which one jumps the highest.

Dating multiple people also seems sneaky if you are not going to actually be honest with each person and let them know you're dating other people and want to see which one makes the cut from your auditions, cuz whether or not that person believes it, that's what they're really doing at the end of the day.

MrOracle · Answer

It's fine if you are completely upfront about it and the other person agrees, but it is against the norm and most people are going to assume that you are being exclusive to them unless you state otherwise upfront. And it will be a deal-breaker for most, but not for everyone.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I think it is okay as long as you believe they don’t have a false idea that you are dating them monogamously. When I was online dating, my profile said that I generally make that decision after 3-5 dates so there was no reason for a woman to expect monogamy on a first or second date. Of course, I also don’t have sex with a partner unless there is a mutual commitment.

Lliam · Answer

That last meme. 🤣🤣🤣 So true. I always felt the same way. If I suspected or knew that a girl had a reputation for being promiscuous, I'd pass. I was interested in girls with strong libidos but healthy values and who were looking for committed relationships. I really, really enjoy mutual infatuation.

I couldn't deal with someone dating me and other guys at the same time, and I wouldn't do that to a woman. If I thought she was still shopping around while she was with me, I'd just break up. I'd figure that we were incompatible. Se la vie.

That' just me. I'm not saying what others should or should not do.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Simply put, I'm a one woman guy BBB.

I can give examples where if i wanted to cheat it would be SO easy.

Before Covid I use to go to the gym regularly before work, and was hit on by women on a near daily basis. It got to the point where one of them would shout across 4 pieces of gym equipment, "Are you still with her?"" That became a standing joke because of course I always shouted back.. "YES Gillian, but thank you for asking"

I have been propositioned more times than I have had hot dinners too whilst driving my Taxi, although I think that gets worse when I tell them, I'm flattered but not on the market!

For me, it comes down to two main factors.

1) Confidence in both myself and my g/f,

and more importantly

2) I was brought up with strong moralistic views regarding relationships (Even though I admit to being SLIGHTLY less than an angel in other aspects of life :D)

HighlyVolatile · Answer

No as far as dating. I'm a monogamous dater (as well as a monogamous type in general; I'm married after all).

Before dating though, I play the field. I don't put all my eggs in one basket until we're on a date. I never found it productive to develop romantic fantasies (a crush, i. e.) for a woman before dating because that just makes rejections more painful than they need to be if she rejects me on a date offer.

I prefer to build our feelings for each other mutually over the course of dating. Once we're dating, I might be able to madly fall in love and, as with the case, end up marrying. Before dating though, I flirted around, talked to many women, looking for one with whom I could click best and with whom I could go on a date.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Just WoW about the last statement, should i play snoop dogg "it's the mother f*cker d. o double g" 🤣🤣

Well said and i agree with all these quotes...

Personally if i want to date than it's because i want a serious relationship that leads to marriage so in no way will i be dating couple of girls at the same time...

Can barely date one if it's possible 😂

I was and still and will always be a one woman man...

Hashtag "my feelings, my choice" 😁

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

Talking, yes. Dating, no.
Dating takes effort & time, of which I personally would find it difficult to give each date the appropriate amount of time.
Though this is a personal opinion, to each their own.
People who do partake in the multi-date should absolutely be upfront about it. Some people may feel it's going better than it is & then feel hurt & potentially cheated on.
Talking, though, I don't feel as though telling the people in the different conversations is as important because most people ARE talking to multiple people at the same time

Lionman95 · Answer

I think there is a difference between talking and dating multiple people at once because the second one is actually deeper in terms of trust and intimacy than the first.
Yes I talked with more than one women when I was looking for a partner but that´s something else than actually dating more than one woman.
There are differences in behavior like going on dates or getting to know each other on a different more personal level.
Especially when you start online dating it´s close to impossible to not be in contact with more people at the same time.
I therefore consider talking not as much of a deal as dating would be.

KarinMcDonald · Answer

WOW, this is really getting into the lifestyle. So here goes. I am married and in an open (one sided) adult relationship. I see a couple of different guys on occasion. My husband knows this and supports me in this. In fact it has enhanced the sexual part of our relationship immensely.

Backseatvibing · Answer

Hmm depends on how long you’ve been talking. If I just met you and we’re both single and getting to know each other and I go out with my girls and meet a guy at the club or a bar and we hit it off and have a nice time together I wouldn’t consider that bad since I’m single. I personally can’t juggle multiple guys at a time but causal flings are fine in my opinion. But if they guy I’m talking to doesn’t like that I would understand if he chooses to move on. I guess more depends on what you want out of life , a relationship or just fun experiences

noamazia · Answer

at the first few dates, of course. after that it should stop, and it cannot pass the point when a relationship with 1 person becomes serious.
now me personally, don't have the energy to date multiple people, so if its beyond just the first~second date, then i cut things off with the others, not even by choice, but by neccessity. so i can my dumb ass brain from running away from interactions and responsibilities.

19magic · Answer

I always get stuck on this when does it go from chatting to dating people all have big terms if I'm on dating profile I might chat to a few guys initially, if you make the first move how much time are you going to place on there before moving onto the next one. I think by the second date you should be able to establish whether that person catches your interest or not then it should be exclusive.

But it all depends on what you mean by dating multiple people at once.

Emiliamazing · Answer

I think that if you are dating multiple individuals, or want to, being upfront with those who you choose to date is a must. It is then in their court as to whether or not they would like to continue. I do think that dating multiple people can lead to jealousy, or unhealthy competition. It’s not something that I would do nor would my husband.

LaNc3L0TT · Answer

Nop, 1 on 1 is way to go. :D
I couldn't but not to notice some girls comment bellow, "date with more than one guy and see who will you like more", yoMeredith Grey wanna be whats up...
I think every guy who is planning to have something serious with girl and she act like this and he accept that, that she is seeing more guys besides him, I think he is loser and his self-esteem = 0.

Кураж · Answer

It would bother me if they were having sex with others while trying to pursue something with me.
But talking/dating is nothing as far as I'm concerned.
For me it's a platonic stage of getting to know each other, it doesn't mean anything until exclusivity is established.

hahahmm · Answer

I'd say it's okay to date multiple people up until the point where one of them believes it's exclusive & reasonable people would agree with them. Before that point you need to tell them you don't want exclusive with them or move on.

For example, if you spend a lot of time with a person they will naturally assume there's some exclusivity. That's foolish on their part if there's no explicit agreement BUT it's also foolish for a person to leave their wallet/purse where it can easily be stolen. That doesn't mean it's right to steal it. Likewise just because a person is being foolish doesn't make it right to con them and get the benefits of exclusive relationship from them while not giving them the same.

LemonsAsks · Answer

The ownership of human property is something i dont believe in. And within a 1 on 1 dating relationship sometimes it can be that way. You tell your spouse who they can and can't see sometimes, what they can wear etc. Right?

For a long time women couldn't take out loans or credit cards with their own name without a husband.

But mostly i just think everyone is pretty and we should all be able to make out or sleep around and still be friends or lovers at the end of the day. Possibly both.

Shark_61695 · Answer

I can accept that someone might be chatting to a few people at once but after an initial meeting, they should decide before going on a date who they are going to go out with. A bit like interviewing for a job.

On the other hand, I'm lucky to be chatting with one person, let alone multiple so I can't foresee a difficult decision.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I guess I don't have a problem with other people doing it. But I just don't do it. I get there's a difference between exclusive and not. But it just FEELS wrong to date more than one woman at a time. I mean any woman that shows equal interest to another guys as me turns ME off. Women who try to pit me against other guys find that out very quickly as I just walk away.

Guido · Answer

I don't believe in it. If I go out on a date with someone and I want a second date, I do not date anybody else and see where it goes. If at some point it goes nowhere, then and only then do I ask someone else out.
1 person at a time and no confusion about whether or not I am interested in them and only them. It has worked well for me.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I believe it is not good to be with multiple people. It is wrong morally.
If you are with multiple people, then where is your commitment?
People are not like jobs, such that you can have no commitments and such.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Absolutely! Unless and until we have decided to make this casual dating thing a more serious relationship, I am free to date whoever and however many other people as I want! While I don’t subscribe to the Beyoncé theory of “if you want it then you better put a ring on it” I do believe that one date does not make you my husband! I have NO obligation to you, and I will date whomever I please!
I have only had one real problem with this, when I ran into a guy I dated on Friday night, on Saturday night while on a date with someone else. He began screaming at me that I was a whore, a slut, and (get this) that I was “cheating on him”! The balls of that guy… remember, ONE DATE! Anyway my current date offered politely to kick his ass (which did NOT impress me) and a third guy I didn’t even know escorted the guy out of the club. Shame I never saw THAT guy again. But I definitely ended the date with Mr. Kickass! Thank GOD I always drive myself to first dates!

Twalli · Answer

I don't date more than one person at one time. If I go on a date with one person and we want a second date I won't even consider a date with someone else. Likewise if I agree on a date with someone, I won't date anyone before the date with that person.

ElvenMr · Answer

If i know she likes me from the way she talks to me, then i don't even want to talk to other girls, just her.
If we are just talking, and she doesn't really show that she likes me, then i'll talk to other girls as well.
Dating is one girl at a time for me.

jst4fun · Answer

For me? I’d appreciate the honesty from someone if they were upfront from the get, but I wouldn’t take them very seriously. I’ve tried dating multiple people before, while being upfront about it and it never did pan out very well. If I’m intimate with someone tho and I like them, I’m not really motivated to see other people. If I was dating someone and I met someone else I was more compatible with, I’d probably just kinda trail off from the person I wasn’t quite as in to.

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

How is talking equated to dating? Once the talk remains platonic.

But anyway, IF two people want a serious relationship, they should only date the person at the time. You don't want to be losing too much energy on others.

It is however healthy for the two to have friendships outside and not spend every waking moment together... missing each other a bit can make the heart grows fonder and avoid co-dependency.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Dating as many as you want is fine, but soon as a serious relationship starts with someone, the others need to stop.

Although I will admit these days, it seems like people have serious relationships with multiple people at once.

coolbreeze · Answer

If your single then it's ok to keep your options open. If your dating and it's getting serious like toward a relationship then no because it's cheating.

VanniusSella · Answer

I don't believe this is okay. I feel, and always have, that dating should be monogamous UNLESS its discussed and agreed to BEFORE agreeing to the date itself. If you want to date multiple people at once, at least make sure everyone involved knows what's up. Otherwise, it's a nasty surprise. I've been on the wrong end of this several times, and it just ruins the whole relationship.

silkjames · Answer

If it works out for others dating other I seen some peeps cool with that I can only be with one queen at a time that's what makes me happy but everyone going to do whatever they think is right to them I don't judge that what makes the world go round to them I guess :)!

annabananna · Answer

When I was in college I would go on dates with a few different people and looking back I really didn’t like it and it wasn’t good for me. I did it because that what everyone else seemed to be doing so I thought that’s what I should do too. If hypothetically I ever became single again I wouldn’t go back to dating like that.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's perfectly okay to date multiple people at the same time, so long as there's no agreement with any of them that their dating is exclusive.

brezzybaby · Answer

Ok I'm the type of girl one man type woman , I mean I was with three guys last summer. Jumping from one place to another back and forth and I tell you what it is so hard to juggle more then one. Be honest don't fuck aro uh nd

loveslongnails · Answer

As long as everyone knows what's going on, sure. If either party thinks, or assumes it's exclusive even in just the dating stage, then it needs to be clarified. Some people only want to date someone who sees only them, even if it's casual, while others don't care until it becomes a mutually agreed upon exclusive thing.

Avicenna · Answer

If you're on dating apps, or we just met IRL, I'd assume you're doing just that anyway unless you tell me otherwise (this is why I tell people to make it clear you want to go exclusive once you know you want to do that).

AndrewMG · Answer

I mean it's very rare that I can get more than one person at anytime to put up with my random bollocks conversation so I've never really thought about it lol

BadKarma3 · Answer

I think its wrong, if you're not that interested in a person then why still talk to them and talk to others. Makes no sense to me

FilmGuy93 · Answer

As long as no commitments of monogamy have been made; dating multiple people is fine by me in principle. I'm sure it's a bad idea in other ways though.

KatherineJ · Answer

If you haven’t had a discussion about being exclusive, then I don’t see any issue with it. But yes, it should be discussed with anyone who someone wants to date.

Xoirwinkan · Answer

Just talking yes, dating no. For example, I am casually on a real dating app (not tinder) and am looking at several girls and possibly chatting with a few, but that's not dating, nor whilst dating another girl. Dating should lead to marriage so you want to lead into it like you will act in a possible marriage, without 'considering' other possible partners.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Yes and yes. Until you get serious with one of them.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

If you don't lie about it, then it's OK. As long as you haven't spoken about being monogamous with someone, then your free to do what you want

MCheetah · Answer

No, I don't think it's okay and I don't want people like that in my life.

MrCommodore · Answer

Personally no, I would find it weird, although I'm a dinosaur who has never tried online dating

TrueConfection · Answer

Hmmm... Dating or just going on a few dates? It seems there is a difference.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

For me, I would date only one gal at a time. Please keep in mind I don't date just to date to begin with.  What do you mean by "talking to"?

Mark987 · Answer

Ya as long as you're not exclusive with someone. It's better to be honest and tell the other people you're dating, just in case the other person has feelings they know that you're dating other people

exitseven · Answer

AS long as you do not tell one of them that you are not dating him/her exclusively.

Seinna · Answer

Dating - yes. After a couple of dates (2-3), if I want to continue it with the particular person I drop the other ones. I think it's normal and natural, dating is just a way of getting to know each other. At that stage I don't touch or kiss them... if I go that far with someone then I drop the other guys. Same when I'm talking to people online before meeting them - of course I'll talk to multiples until I find a connection worth pursuing.

cookiecrusher · Answer

No. Would reject any woman like that. How the hell is a normal person going to build a romantic connection with mutiple people at the same time?

MecheD · Answer

I believe simply its up to you and each individual as far as how you do what it is that you do. "dating" to me is either involved or just talking in which you're already doing before the title of dating comes into play. If you want exclusivity be bold and claim that person if he/she wants to as well. and get into a relationship. no point of games this day and age.

Hulk30 · Answer

from the male perspective datin is just datin if we're just datin and not exclusive why do i need to tell ya about other women im datin and to me datin in the traditional sense is relationship type treatment because ya date to basically test drive vehicles to see where things go which is expensive i'd rather not date women until i fuck em first at least then if it dont work out it's no money wasted on our part on a can be thing in the process and i know most women who really dont understand men and what keeps em actually think that holdin the ass hostage will actually keep men when in reality it's bringin more to the table than sex that actually will

Phoenix-gb · Answer

Nope, if someone actually came along who wanted to date me, then I would be focussed on them alone... but it's never happened so I'm not really concerned it will be an issue.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I like to have one steady Lady to date, not multiple Ladies just how I see things

Moose304 · Answer

I not only think it is OK I do it! I have several friends with benefits and they all know it. I have made it crystal clear I will NOT ever be in an exclusive relationship and if you have a problem with that you know where the door is! At 63 I stopped caring a long time ago!

RebeccaBI2000 · Answer

I date a variety. They are aware. No sex is happening.

Just_call_me_Levi · Answer

It's not for me... But if that's what you're looking for, you're all on the same page and you're open about it, then more power to you.

Staximus · Answer

No. That just creates problems, and I don't feel like being some woman's second fiddle

Massageman · Answer

Fo course. Dealing with multiple people's styles of thinking and living is the REASON that there is dating, at least in the 50's- 70's. This was an ""automatic given" back then, until someone saw a ring on a necklace or on her finger (with yarn woven around it) to show that a gal was "going steady" with a guy.

Do you believe it's okay to be talking to/dating multiple people at once? If so, are you upfront with them that there are others?

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Do you agree with dating multiple people at the same time?

Do you believe it's okay to be talking to/dating multiple people at once? If so, are you upfront with them that there are others?

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