BASIC TRAITS like loyalty, genuine love and honesty are missing. You can't make a heavenly dishes without the essential ingredients. But people still expect to meet 'the one' without trying to provide those 3 basic things in a relationship.
It seems like a lot of work to be honest. Some people have that kind of energy I guess. I probably wouldn't continue out endeavors if I found out they were sleeping with people while dating me. Sorry, I prefer to be the one and only when I'm dating, haha!
Dating is the most agonizing thing about dating! No one wants to date! People tend to believe a serial dater is a whore or womanizer. What happened to the interview process before the assumption we are in a relationship?
My last dates was a few years ago the experiences are ridiculous:
Date 1. Was a drive on the river to laugh and talk. 5 minutes in she unzipped my pants and song to my mic. Shocked the taste out of me!
Date 2. A nurse that assumed a first date meant we were exclusive. Calling cursing on my voicemail.. Nutcase
Date 3. You get the point..
I honestly wanted to interview! I am bless to meet my wife. Dating is crazy...
The biggest issue with dating, is that the vast majority of people are so scared of getting hurt.
This fear causes people to emotionally dissociate in dating, and do things such as "play games" (as in not being upfront about liking the person), and do "serial dating" to always have a backup plan at all times.
That people aren't picky anymore, and would be matches are snatched up by people who aren't compatible, that they are having kids with them, and screwing up options for those of us who care about monogamy and compatibility and finding the perfect match.
also doesn't help that no one is honest and open enough to show the true them right off the bat, so not only is the pool reduced, but I don't even know by how much.
Time management for me. Finding the time to fit people into a schedule. I'm always busy with work, friends & family. As a workaholic I have to schedule dates as ridiculous as that sounds but it's true what they say, people who care enough will always make the time for you.
For me, getting to the date is not the problem. The problem is that most dates RARELY try to actually get to know you on the date that is frustrating for me. They will try for sex but spending time together? No. Communication? No. I mean, what's the point if the other party isn't going to put in the effort.
But to me the most discouraging thing is most people never meet up. I mean, look, no one wants to be rejected after 50 dates; that's never fun. But honestly, I'd rather be rejected after 3 dates than 0 dates. At least give me a chance, for crying out loud!
For me the problem of modern dating is that modern society is shallow. Guys and girls are only going for the top 20-30% of each gender. So if you´re not part of this, it´s likely that you´re getting disappointed pretty soon. Many dating apps have taken over the swipe system Tinder started with. That way everything only goes by looks. Other dating apps are filled up with fake accounts to keep the business running. So it´s nearly impossible to get to know people online.
But it's not women that do that... Men do it too... Read the threads how many guys think it's okay to be dating, yet keep having sex with a friends with benefits... And I'm definitely not gonna date someone like that... Hell wouldn't even be a friends with benefits like that either... People have ruined dating, not just women
My last date cost me $1150 just to find out she was still married.
Dating for men is like a full-time job you have to pay for just to get a date, women usually have a few backup guys and the dates feel like a job interview where HR has to many applications.
Making up exuse and some women in college tried to become friends just to used my trust to ruin the relationship that I did have. Causing drama , hockup culture and toxic relationship. Cheating. always on phone.
I think its a matter of not knowing what either of the sexes want.
Most guys I know think putting women on a pedestal and kissing their ass is a great way to keep a relationship. It's the worst because it gets really annoying after a while. Women want men who can stand up for themselves and what they believe (that's my best guess).
I can't speak for women but I seem to think that it's a common trend for them to assume that we should know what they are thinking at all times. It's like the "I'm not going to tell you what's wrong because you should already know" kind of thing. I don't know if they use a lot of body language that boys aren't aware that they should be looking for or what.
Same as it has been always: being rejected, then watching the female throw herself crotch first as the most worthless, sociopathic, abusive POS she can find.
Honestly when people pull stuff like that (like the bathroom incident) you basically have to choose to laugh about it. Laugh about how ridiculous they are being.
Don't take it too personally, even though it feels personal. It has much more to do with them than anything else.
I don't believe in dating, full stop. You find a soulmate or a genuine (social, or even just sex) interest and you go with that, discover what makes that relationship tick and grow it, even guard it. Just dating to date, when there isn't that - fails. You're better off alone that gazumped by some weird unnatural expectations (on the same token, be open to who you feel interests you, not to stereotyped interests no one can genuinely bother about. Bother, genuinely, even when it feels like hard work - small steps, that's the beauty of building a relationship. Nothing's carved in stone.
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Opinion
93Opinion
BASIC TRAITS like loyalty, genuine love and honesty are missing.
You can't make a heavenly dishes without the essential ingredients.
But people still expect to meet 'the one' without trying to provide those 3 basic things in a relationship.
Very well said! And so true💯
It seems like a lot of work to be honest. Some people have that kind of energy I guess. I probably wouldn't continue out endeavors if I found out they were sleeping with people while dating me. Sorry, I prefer to be the one and only when I'm dating, haha!
Right! You and me both
Dating is the most agonizing thing about dating! No one wants to date! People tend to believe a serial dater is a whore or womanizer. What happened to the interview process before the assumption we are in a relationship?
My last dates was a few years ago the experiences are ridiculous:
Date 1. Was a drive on the river to laugh and talk. 5 minutes in she unzipped my pants and song to my mic. Shocked the taste out of me!
Date 2. A nurse that assumed a first date meant we were exclusive. Calling cursing on my voicemail.. Nutcase
Date 3. You get the point..
I honestly wanted to interview! I am bless to meet my wife. Dating is crazy...
For me it's the little rules many people seem to have.
The guy must make the first move
We must be official after 3-5 dates
Who pays? Am I good enough? They'll pick someone else, why bother blablabla
all that stuff
Those can definitely be discouraging behaviors
It holds us back, I feel like, or has us judge the other person wrong
The biggest issue with dating, is that the vast majority of people are so scared of getting hurt.
This fear causes people to emotionally dissociate in dating, and do things such as "play games" (as in not being upfront about liking the person), and do "serial dating" to always have a backup plan at all times.
Bunch of cowards people are nowadays!
That's true!! People play too many mind games these days or try to
That people aren't picky anymore, and would be matches are snatched up by people who aren't compatible, that they are having kids with them, and screwing up options for those of us who care about monogamy and compatibility and finding the perfect match.
Right! I agree! People have so demoralized sex, dating, relationships.
also doesn't help that no one is honest and open enough to show the true them right off the bat, so not only is the pool reduced, but I don't even know by how much.
Time management for me. Finding the time to fit people into a schedule. I'm always busy with work, friends & family. As a workaholic I have to schedule dates as ridiculous as that sounds but it's true what they say, people who care enough will always make the time for you.
For me, getting to the date is not the problem. The problem is that most dates RARELY try to actually get to know you on the date that is frustrating for me. They will try for sex but spending time together? No. Communication? No. I mean, what's the point if the other party isn't going to put in the effort.
Yeah and text isn't communication when trying to get to know someone either
The need to go from 0 to sex in a short amount of time.
I have swiped on dating apps and the few responses I have recieved quickly progressed to them wanting sex or contact broken.
Life shouldn't go so fast, especially as I'm not particularly comfortable with physical contact so would prefer to build up over time.
Exactly! I agree
I would definitely agree with you on that one.
But to me the most discouraging thing is most people never meet up. I mean, look, no one wants to be rejected after 50 dates; that's never fun. But honestly, I'd rather be rejected after 3 dates than 0 dates. At least give me a chance, for crying out loud!
I hear you!
Thanks!
The huge amount of people you have to weed out before finding someone at least somewhat compatible. It's exhausting, that's why I don't date, lol.
Me neither
For me the problem of modern dating is that modern society is shallow. Guys and girls are only going for the top 20-30% of each gender. So if you´re not part of this, it´s likely that you´re getting disappointed pretty soon.
Many dating apps have taken over the swipe system Tinder started with. That way everything only goes by looks. Other dating apps are filled up with fake accounts to keep the business running.
So it´s nearly impossible to get to know people online.
Too many lies. Nobody is real anymore and its tiring.
You go on a date and you can't even tell if its any different from the previous
Yeah it's really sad how people are these days
This is why I've learned everybody lies you have to find out the reason why they are lying
@yofuknutz that is too much stress for me quite frankly.
I'm long past the point where I've given up on dating entirely.
It's simply no fun for me (and it's very expensive)
But I will say it's stuff like this that made me (and many men I know) stop dating.
But it's not women that do that... Men do it too... Read the threads how many guys think it's okay to be dating, yet keep having sex with a friends with benefits... And I'm definitely not gonna date someone like that... Hell wouldn't even be a friends with benefits like that either...
People have ruined dating, not just women
My last date cost me $1150 just to find out she was still married.
Dating for men is like a full-time job you have to pay for just to get a date, women usually have a few backup guys and the dates feel like a job interview where HR has to many applications.
Making up exuse and some women in college tried to become friends just to used my trust to ruin the relationship that I did have. Causing drama , hockup culture and toxic relationship. Cheating. always on phone.
Yeah that's discouraging
I think its a matter of not knowing what either of the sexes want.
Most guys I know think putting women on a pedestal and kissing their ass is a great way to keep a relationship. It's the worst because it gets really annoying after a while. Women want men who can stand up for themselves and what they believe (that's my best guess).
I can't speak for women but I seem to think that it's a common trend for them to assume that we should know what they are thinking at all times. It's like the "I'm not going to tell you what's wrong because you should already know" kind of thing. I don't know if they use a lot of body language that boys aren't aware that they should be looking for or what.
Same as it has been always: being rejected, then watching the female throw herself crotch first as the most worthless, sociopathic, abusive POS she can find.
Yeah that's not good
The fact we can't have friends with benefits anymore😭 so unfair
What do you mean by that? @jaylaaa2000
You gonna get grounded and get a whooping young lady🧐👉🚪
@Brainsbeforebeauty noo!!!😭😭😭
Then behave
But it's fun 😭
Is it worth the grounding you gonna get🤔
😂😂
No🥺 you always ruin my fun. 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🚪
But you still missed me anyway lolol and missed you too🤗
Lmao. Of course i missed you. Who else gonna yell at me 😂💞💞💞
Right and without you to ground, I been grounding random strangers😂😂 my mailman was so surprised to get grounded😂😂😂
Aww man😂 i wish i could've seen this.😭
😂😂😂 ok I really didn't but came close lololol
I know but it's fun to pretend you did
Well now can just go back to grounding you YAY 😂
I know i purposely been acting up so you can. Plus i might be a little drunk
Honestly when people pull stuff like that (like the bathroom incident) you basically have to choose to laugh about it. Laugh about how ridiculous they are being.
Don't take it too personally, even though it feels personal. It has much more to do with them than anything else.
Bathroom incident?
Oh so you mean💩 lololol 🤣
I don't believe in dating, full stop.
You find a soulmate or a genuine (social, or even just sex) interest and you go with that, discover what makes that relationship tick and grow it, even guard it.
Just dating to date, when there isn't that - fails.
You're better off alone that gazumped by some weird unnatural expectations (on the same token, be open to who you feel interests you, not to stereotyped interests no one can genuinely bother about.
Bother, genuinely, even when it feels like hard work - small steps, that's the beauty of building a relationship. Nothing's carved in stone.