ONLINE DATING NEVER WORKS! Why do you think that is?

[Anonymous]

[RealMarek]

It worked for me, but I think it is more challenging for men in their 20s. It gets a lot easier for men who are stable and in decent physical shape to get matches in their 30s.

I was careful to read through profiles and not just pick every good looking woman. I put a lot of thought into what I wrote in my profile and picked a variety of photos to give a sense of who I am and what I enjoy doing. Also, some women just want to DM and I did not want to waste time, so after trading a few messages I would ask for a lunch or coffee date at a public place (so she would feel safe) if I wanted to meet a lady.

[Browneye57]

Simple. The ladies are there for attention and validation, with virtually zero intention of ever meeting up with anybody, let alone dating them. You even see it in their profile, with word tracks like, 'don't even bother', or 'I'm not going to settle'. So if you don't meet their rigid standards you don't get a second notice. f
Now, the guys are there looking for pussy. A hook up. They're not there for a wife or any kind of commitment - they're looking for a fuck-buddy.

So you have this really dynamic combination of needs and wants from all the parties involved which leads to absolutely NOTHING.

[DaisyJones]

There are two very simple reasons that online dating is a dismal failure:

1. Guys use the carpet bombing approach, and copy and paste messages to everyone.
2. Girls are too fucking stupid to realize number one.

[jerdanro]

And women have so many choices that the will match with someone and never reply to a message or will chat, but only wait through 3 messages before desiding to ghost.

[DaisyJones]

@jerdanro

Sally goes out into the real world, and no guy even notices her. But when she gets home, she fires up her computer and she has 200 messages. Sally can't figure out that this is not real, and that it's just a game.

So naturally, Sally won't waste her time with guys in her league, she'll only give the time of day to guys that are far out of her league. Sally is too stupid to not see this as a total scam.

A hot guy will take Sally out on a date, screw her and dump her. Sally will go home and add in her profile that ALL guys are jerks. Sally will become bitter and jaded, but she's not smart enough to connect the dots. She will continue to keep doing the same thing, but expecting different results.
It's not the guys' fault she's getting used, it's her fault for overlooking all the nice guys, and just going for the obvious players.

On the surface, online dating makes all the sense in the world. But in realty, it's a really shitty way to meet someone.

[jerdanro]

I agree. Over the last year we haven't too many options. I get catfished several times a week. Luckily scammers are easy to spot.

[DaisyJones]

@jerdanro

When I say "scam" I really used the wrong choice of word. I just mean that online dating is only useful for guys that are 9's and 10's. And it's useful for any girl who just wants sex.

I know a lady who's been on the same dating site for about 13 years. But she will never change her ways, because she just thinks she's having a series of bad luck.

I absolutely love the Internet, and I think it's one of the greatest inventions ever. But I also think it's destroyed dating. Online dating takes nearly no effort, and so that's why it's an attractive option.
You can literally never get off the couch, and still meet people online. But unless you just like to chat, you're wasting your time.
The best thing you can do is after this Covid shit is over, get out into the real world as much as you can, and learn the gift of gab. Being shy just doesn't cut it in the dating world.

[jerdanro]

I'm better in person or on the phone. My generation didn't have the internet when we were young, so I agree completely.

[DaisyJones]

@jerdanro

If you want to become a billionaire, just figure out a way for singles to meet, that doesn't involved spending a fortune on booze.

But it would have to be more than just throwing all the people together. Like maybe you can all put your name in a hat, and then draw names to see who your partner would be in a fun game. Just find an easy way to get people together to talk and mingle.
Breaking the ice is a very hard part of this. So it would be your job to do all the ice breaking, so your guests wouldn't have to.

[Honesttguy]

Hm smart, ability to see good and bad. Nice, very refreshing.

[exitseven]

It sounds like you have had some experience with this.

[DaisyJones]

@Honesttguy

Ice cream is yummy, but it makes you fat.

It's one of God's jokes on us.

[DaisyJones]

@exitseven

I would be shocked if everyone didn't have experience in this.

Dating sucks shit, and most of us just want to skip to the happy ending part.

As crappy as it sounds, I think it's best to just dust off your spurs, load and lock your guns, and watch out for zombies. It's dangerous as fuck, but people have been doing it for thousands of years.

[exitseven]

Yes, nobody wants to put the work into it anymore. I remember that one year I dated 6 or 7 girls. Some more than one at a time. Some were just all wrong for me. Thee was lots of drama. Some really screwed me over and I treated a couple of them badlly, just to get even I think. I had a very uninspiring time with one particular girl. I had decided I would give up women for a while, maybe forever. I went away for a few days to think about things. Ironically I met my future wife that day.

[DaisyJones]

@exitseven

That's just how life works sometimes. Philosopher Deepak Chopra calls it the "Law of Least Effort."

I guess that means that sometimes we just try too hard.

[exitseven]

Yes, thank you for that. I guess the morale of the story is you can't give up because you never know when or where you will find that special someone. I kind of like your metaphors by the way.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think three reasons: A lack of trust, a lack of respect and unreasonable expectations.

[Anonymous]

Very few take it seriously. I've had women actually admit that they only use it for attention, and NO intentions of ever meeting anyone. And/or if "feelings" get in the way. And I'm not talking about feelings for the other person, anxieties, fears, anxiousness, lack of communication and people making assumptions all often come into play. I think it can work, I've managed to get one or two dates from them that I wouldn't have otherwise, but it is hard finding someone else that is actually taking it somewhat seriously and actually looking.

[ChrisMaster69]

It works for some, a small number.

for the rest it’s basically a fuck selector.

you can meet people but the majority have a hidden agenda, either sex or some form of emotional support,

anyone using online for dating needs to be very aware and have their eyes open as to what it is really used for.

it’s basically a modern version of the classified section in local paper etc,

[TurboKid]

I suspect it works for some for hook-ups, although probably very few for serious relationships. From my standpoint, it's like trying to find your husband or wife in a nightclub or bar. The problem is not that everyone who attends a bar or nightclub is bad relationship material, but the environment causes people to jump into dating before they get to know each other.

[TurboKid]

I think a superior solution would be online sites that help people make friends in their area, and maybe not just hanging out one-on-one but in groups. Then some of the people who hang out there might get interested in each other even though the context is just friendly and not about finding dates or picking up girls, and then they can date.

[TurboKid]

I'd suggest the same tweak for nightclubs and bars. If people are looking for a serious relationship and not a hook-up, don't go there to pick up guys/girls. Go there to make friends. Then after you become friends, maybe you can date.

[BakedBeanieBabie]

Because it's shallow and everyone either gets off it, has a bad experience, or gives up and uses it to fuck.

[ZackBan]

Works pretty consistently with me.

Online dating is an art and a skill: you can't be plain and boring and still expect success. You gotta practice it and get good at it as well as follow the right advice and stay away from the wrong.

[Interstate]

Too many people out there disguise themself as something they are not. They post a picture of somebody incredibly gorgeous or unbelievably handsome just to get your attention and bait you. They are fake and only wasting everybody else's time.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I know people who got married that way.

Mind you, I haven't, but I still had way better luck online than meeting offline, because dating profiles act as a preview to info you normally don't get right away.

[Honesttguy]

Online platform puts women in power. Men will always come off desperate through online, thus big turn off for women. Women gets spammed by guys messages, they're sick of it. Game over.

[FictionalCharacter]

Distance costs and honesty and faithfulness tested. Which all never work out.

[Laciandmaci]

I know several people that married the person they met on a dating site?

[es20490446e]

Cause they can't know how you really are, so they are always suspicious.

Real life flirting has worked like a million times better for me.

[Anonymous]

Because, dating sites have a monetary incentive to keep you single.

[DaisyJones]

The world's largest dating site is free.

[Opinion Owner]

@DaisyJones Which one is that?

[blondfrog]

Because its the super shallow leading the super shallow.

[msc545]

Women chase the top 20% of men and ignore the other 80%. Online dating is great for women and sucks for 80% of men.

[zagor]

Actually it does, for some. And some people win the lottery.

[InterestedOne1972]

It's rugged for women and compan to take cash from horny, desperate men

[Liber8CopWatch]

Because it is a lazy approach, it has no substance. It's easy to type words on a screen which makes it easy for the talk to be cheep.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Because thats your personal experience.

[Shiver]

If they don't work, you're doing something wrong.

[slatyb]

It worked for me and my wife.

[Iron_Man]

Golddigger city it’s like winning the lottery

[Dinosaursandanime65]

“Am I natural? Or hybrid Dino?”

[Anonymous]

Nope not true. Found a boyfriend on a dating site.

[jerdanro]

Good for you. I hope you are both happy.

[kevyhanma]

Women are just in a land of unsolicited dicks

[dudeinohio]

worked for me