Why do the majority of women online have no intention of going on date even though they agree to the date and respond to a bunch of texts beforehand?

[red324]

Id say its 50/50 15 percent never respond back after a message or two and that's fine, but after that they either don't ever agree to a date, but will waste your time messaging back and forth then the rest will agree to a date then bail at the last minute with the bs usual excuse of oh I had a family emergency.

Updates

+1 y

I'm not saying indent get dates. I get a good amount of dates, but it's very common that they say yes to a date and time then bail.

Updates

+1 y

I've caught on to this and one girl even admitted after calling her out that she said I've actually never even been in a date with a guy on the app. She's been single for three years. That was the first red flag.

[Sawyerblu]

She likes the attention but thinks she can do better. It’s more of a trial run to prepare herself for someone she’s actually interested in.


I saw that you commented something about the guy chasing the girl? I don’t think any chasing should be involved. Games are a red flag and won’t land you in a healthy relationship. It should be equal interest. Otherwise, a toxic relationship is just around the corner and by chasing her, you’re falling into the trap. People want what they cannot have, not someone who is readily available. You need to have hobbies and other things that take up your time; friends, family, activities. Don’t be too pushy because all that does is push people away.


The funny thing about life is when you stop looking for someone to date, they will find you. This is due to the relaxed nature and energy that you give off. Desperation is easy to catch onto.


I’ve honestly always disliked dating apps for this reason. It’s hard to read people’s intentions. Meeting someone in person and hitting it off is going to be a much more reliable way of forming a relationship with no prior expectations or disappointments.

[red324]

Well I mean I don't really chase her but I'm going to ask her on dates and make a regular effort to keep in contact in between dates. By regular I mean texting at least every couple days and asking on a date every couple weeks.

[Sawyerblu]

You should let her come to you. If you disappear for a little, like a week, she will either miss your attention and come to you or move on. You don’t want someone who moves on easily from you anyways, so really it’s a win either way. I definitely think you should let her miss you. I’ve dismissed many guys from being too clingy. Before my boyfriend was in the picture, I actually used to like being the one to ask a guy on a date every now and then, but only if they weren’t texting/snapping/calling too frequently. I, like most women, need space. We all have our own lives and unless you are my boyfriend, I do not need to speak to you that often. Keeping in contact is a good idea, but may I suggest you start dating other girls as well? This will keep you from being too available and you might actually meet someone you get along with better. Don’t put all your dating eggs in one basket until she’s your girlfriend.

[red324]

every woman has their own opinion of how often a guy should text. I once went on a date with a girl and we texted a bit after the date, then I didn't text her until 8pm the next night and I had the phone in my hand about the hit the send button asking how her day went, and she sent me a text first going all pyscho on me because I didn't text her the entire day. She was so insecure that she didn't hear from me the whole day that she scheduled another date with another guy and threw me under the bus. I actually liked her too, but was like wtf? we had been on one date.

[red324]

I do date other girls, usually 3 or 4 at once, mainly because of how flaky they are, but I see what you're saying scale back the texting and see if they initiate a text on their own.

[red324]

Also a common thing I notice is in the beginning some of these women will text you all day long. I could send 50 texts back and forth in one day, then it slowly dwindles off. This isn't every girl, but honestly I have better things to do than text that often.

[canucker90]

@Sawyerblu I agree with you 110%

[VanillaSalt]

He points spot on. Understand your time is far more important than the feelings of a stranger. If she can’t reach out who cares if she gets angry?

It’s a man’s job to chase even most feminists will tell you that. Meanwhile it’s their job to show interest in your attempts, if they don’t respond move on and shake another tree.

10 years from now you’re ins relationship you going to be the only one starting conversation? Initiating sex? Sometimes you gotta step aside and let women be women...

[Giselleselfish]

@red324 Such rubbish advice. The moment that you sit back and “wait” for her to initiate contacts, will be the moment some other guy will impress her.

Women don’t want a push over, but I really would not have dated the boyfriend if he hadn’t been persistent and clear with his intentions. Don’t listen to the other girl’s advice. She’s, in other words, encouraging you to “act in your feminine” and that’s a turn off for women. She’s encouraging you to “sit back and receive”, which is NOT masculine and you WILL not attract feminine women that route. Good luck.

[Giselleselfish]

Contact* typo!!

[red324]

I get your point. This is probably good advice if the girl isn't online. Otherwise they just move onto the next guy when you quit giving them attention. Lately I've had the best luck by giving it about two weeks. They're either interested or they aren't. If I haven't scheduled a date after texting a maximum amount of two weeks, I move onto the next girl.

[Sawyerblu]

Lol “don’t listen to that other girls advice,” ok? Like I said, if she is interested in you, this will be the telltale sign if she contacts you. If she moves on, she was never really interested in you but rather the attention that you were giving her. You DO NOT want to be in a relationship with someone like that. Persistence is key but not texting everyday. Sometimes women seem interested the first few days because the idea of something new is fun. But if a move is not made fast, interest will be lost.

I recommend chatting for a day or two and setting up a date on the third day. If she likes you, genuinely likes you, she will agree to go and then this is your chance to woo her. After the date, send a text that night telling her that you had a good time and why and that you would love to do it again some time. After this though, give her space. It doesn’t have to be a week this time but you should wait a day or two until a couple days before your next date.

However, if a move is not made and y’all have been talking for a few weeks with no action, then I would put the week test in order. If she hasn’t texted you first in that week, try one last time to contact her and see if she’s down to go out or that you have been thinking about her but life got hectic or something but that you would love to take her out.

If she has moved on then she is desperate for attention and will get it a different way. A relaxed girl is a mature girl, remember that.

[red324]

@Giselleselfish Every guy I've ever known that always seems to have good luck with the same woman even if they're on and off is the one that's persistent. They don't give up and they'll call 25 times in one day when she plays her dumb games and then they'll argue and work it out. I on the other hand will call 2 or 3 times and text 2 or 3 times and give up because she's not responding and find out a month later she's dating someone else now.

[red324]

@Giselleselfish How long was your boyfriend persistent for before you decided to give in and give it a chance? Some of these women online are so broken you can't convince them of anything no matter how persistent and clear you are with your intentions.

[red324]

Sawyerblu: You lost me. When do I suggest a second date? I always suggest a second date at the end of the first. I usually don't have a set day or activity planned, but what commonly happens is the girl asks me to text her when I make it home, we keep texting a little bit and I'll suggest date two a couple days later and actually set it up. I've found you have to text more than a day or two before asking them out to build a bit of a connection. I give it 5 days, then if i don't have a set date planned I move on after a total of two weeks. It sounds to me like you're saying tell her I had a great time, then just let things marinate after the first date and see if she contacts me first, then if she does go ahead and set up date two.

[red324]

Other than me maybe chilling out with the texting for a few days to see if she initiates on her own I think it sounds like I pretty much do what you've been talking about.

[VanillaSalt]

Sawyers the one to listen to. Giselle is a horrible woman who’s always posting man hating pro women bullshit usually starting trouble.

Although ide argue one thing @Sawyerblu a man pursues and a woman should have to show interest after the first date otherwise it’s the guy doing all the work.

[red324]

@VanillaSalt i pretty much do what she's been saying. I'm a little unclear about her saying the waiting 5 days thing or whatever and when to do it. I think it's best to go no contact after the first date for about 3 days before scheduling a second date that's set in stone. I think that's what she was saying.

[Sawyerblu]

@VanillaSalt that’s what I’m saying! I think the woman should show interest as well. A relationship should be 50/50. But it’s a stupid idea that’s been set in women’s minds that we should never text first so while not impossible to find a woman that’s confident and secure enough to text first, you’re going to face this issue of the woman being afraid to text first. That’s where the text RIGHT after the date comes into play. For example:

“I had a really awesome night with you tonight. They way you talked about ___ really spoke to me and I’d love to take you out again sometime to hear more about what you have to say.”

She’ll most likely agree that she had a fun time and that she would love to go out again. To reply to this, keep it short and sweet and let her know you’ll be in touch soon.

But if you send a text that night, do not text her a good morning text. If you feel the need, you can text her later on through the day but give her space in the morning so she can go over the night in her head and really think about things. If we’re met with a good morning text, the “ick” could set in place due to being felt like we’re being clinged onto. Some women like the clingy dudes but for the most part, space is essential.

After a few days of not really talking, set up the next date for a weekend, Friday or Saturday and go do something that shows how much fun you are or what your hobbies are. Dating someone that enjoys your hobbies will help you figure out if you’re a good match.

[Sawyerblu]

The reason most girls don’t end up going on dates after a few weeks of talking is that they’re burnt out of things to talk about. The sooner the better, before you create expectations of that person. Remember that texting is a lot different than how someone acts in person. So I don’t recommend going more than a week of talking before meeting. Either way, the girl will probably burn out, or your expectations of each other will not be met. The only successful dates that came from online dating were the guys ballsy enough to plan a date within a couple days. The ones where we talked for a few weeks I lost interest or got freaked out by them, especially if they were texting me alllll day long. That’s a big red flag to me. It shows that you don’t have anything better to do.

[red324]

This sounds great. Lots of times it's the women who want to text me all day long. This also worries me because these are the ones that are gonna flake in my experience. Also you say to give a few days after sending the text after the initial date. That's fine, but many times the girl will send me a good morning text first thing 8:30am the next morning. Do I say good morning then still leave her alone for a few days?

[Sawyerblu]

Definitely reply if she says something! This is her reaching out. Don’t ignore her, if she has taken the time to say something, you wouldn’t like it if you messaged someone and they didn’t reply. You don’t have to reply immediately, but within a few hours I would reply. It’ll make her more excited if you don’t reply as soon as she texts you. Even once you’re having a conversation, don’t just sit around waiting to text her, go about your day and answer when you have the time to write a well thought and concise message back in order to keep the conversation flowing. Nothing worse than waiting hours to receive a “lol” as a response. You should be adding to the conversation if you actually want to talk to her. Asking questions or saying something funny or profound will almost always receive a response!

[red324]

I do this, but we can still have amazing conversations and I'll still get ghosted an hour before the date

[red324]

I'd say it's 50/50 if she goes on the date. I guess that's not bad from an online dating app. Seems like for the most part I do most of the things you say.

[Giselleselfish]

@red324 Absolutely do NOT listen to that juvenile advice of “giving her space”. In today’s dating dynamics, giving someone space after a good date will lead her to think you’re not serious and she WILL date someone else.

My boyfriend was persistent asf. When we first met through a mutual friend, he texted me everyday for a week. He was “checking in” but not smothering me so much. We got the compatibility established through texting and then a week after, he asked to go out on a date and I said he’s. Now, AFTER the date he texted me the next day and we build on what we had established on the date. He texted me a few days in a row after the first date and then missed a day and then went back to texting everyday. That meant that he was interested AND that he was in his confident MALE energy and did NOT wait for me to initiate shit. I can tell you now, that anyone before him, who waited for me to “initiate contact after a date”, didn’t hear from me anymore and I dated someone else.

So, TEXT first. High value women want a MAN who will BE a fkn MAN and NOT wait for the women to become the initiator aka man in the dynamic. Don’t be scared to be “pushy” as “pusy” will get you answers regardless.

[Giselleselfish]

“Pushy”*

[Giselleselfish]

Sorry typos

[red324]

@Giselleselfish I've always done it the way you described.

[red324]

I met a girl on Facebook I went to school with years ago. She suggested we meet up and grab a bite to eat to catch up. I suggested a restaurant, she said she doesn't like seafood, so I said okay I'll let you pick the restaurant. What kind of food so you like? Maybe she realized we didn't know each other very well after that question was asked. Haven't heard from her since, but she read the message

[Sawyerblu]

@giselleselfish this is literally my opinion, go comment your own and hop off. Every girl is different. I was just stating from experience as well as taking note of the girls that I have met and their experiences as well. You’re being rude and condescending and it’s unnecessary.

[Sawyerblu]

It should be balanced. You shouldn’t be texting first every time. It’s 2021, relationships are a lot different now that they used to be. Chasing gives off a desperate vibe. If you’re a desperate girl then you won’t mind having a guy text you every day, especially if you aren’t getting attention elsewhere. However, most people that you are talking to online are probably talking to a couple other people at the same time. Another reason they might ghost is because they’re talking to someone they like more than you. It’s sad but it’s the truth and accepting it will help you find someone that will better suit you than someone who isn’t as interested in you as you are in them. That’s why I suggested not waiting so long to meet them, because during your couple weeks of talking, she’s probably gone on a date with someone else and is getting attached to them, aka why she ghosted you. I personally do not online date anymore, it was unreliable and every time I went out with someone, I left disappointed. The people that I’ve met in real life I got along with way better than those I started talking to online with.

[Sawyerblu]

As for the Facebook post, I am not her so I don’t know 100% why she did that but there could be a few explanations. Often times, when girls are trying to be nice they’ll say that y’all should catch up but don’t intend on following through. Another reason is that maybe she’s talking to someone else or just lost interest very quickly. On a whim I’ve suggested to do something and immediately after, I have changed my mind. Best to just move on and not worry about it. Maybe try to meet people in person rather than online.

[Sawyerblu]

Facebook Part*

[red324]

The girl on Facebook messaged me last night. I think she works the night shift. Anyways she apologized and said she's been working 12hr shifts and does t hardly get a day off. I just have to be patient with her I guess.

[red324]

I know in the past I made the mistake of over texting and texting too long before meeting. Another thing I noticed is coffee dates don't work. A woman wants a full meal. Lol

[Giselleselfish]

@red324 Don’t complicate it too much. Pursue her and give her the respect she deserves and, yes, a dinner date and I’m sure you’ll have success.

[Giselleselfish]

@red324 Good luck!!

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't know who is right -- whether it's @Sawyerblu or @Giselleselfish -- but this was an interesting thread, and I'm weighing the points against each other.

[red324]

So Sawyer what do I do about these woman I've been talking to on and off for 6 months to a year and things never went anywhere? I'd hardly consider this as being overly persistent. I mean at this point I need to get them on a date.

[VanillaSalt]

I don't know what she said but ide ignore Giselle she lives off drama she creates... not the best source of advice.

[VanillaSalt]

Oh kewl I can see her replies when I reply to this thread... Don’t diver date on the first date ever. Your just giving them what they want always coffee or a drink... that way when their 10 years older then their pic or they start spouting politics at the table you can leave without being an ass.

[VanillaSalt]

There’s something called a foodie. It’s like a quickie except no sex. They pop in eat on your dime then run with no interest in pursuing anything with you. You can all most women on here including Giselle. She’s admitted in an earlier post she sometimes dates and goes in tinder for guys attention without any intention of looking.

Don’t feed this negative behavior. If they leave cause you didn’t feed them they weren’t worth your time as a man anyway.

[Sawyerblu]

We’ll have you just been talking to them without having met them or have you met these women in person yet? The way to respond to that question is dependent upon whether or not you’ve actually met them. There were a couple of guys I used to talk to that ended up being strictly flirting online due to too much time passing by without us meeting. We wouldn’t talk that often but often enough to not forget about each other. At that point, I think we both understood that if we had really wanted to meet, we would’ve. I think we were just talking out of boredom. We suggested going on dates but neither of us followed through.

If you have met these women, it’ll be much easier to get them to go out with you. If you know them from a certain place, you can expect to run into them at some point. Asking out in person has a 10x higher chance of receiving a yes and having the date actually happen.

If a women hasn’t met you and isn’t sure about going out with you, she will not feel as guilty ghosting you, knowing that she won’t have to see you at some point in the future. It might not even be you or someone else. It could come down to her own insecurities and fears. Maybe she really likes you but is worried that you won’t like something about her. Most women overthink things and end up giving themselves what we call the “ick”. The ick happens when we start thinking about one negative thing and allow it to take over to the point where we convince ourselves there is no way we could date that person. It could be voice, laugh, a weird comment, height, too nice, douchebag vibes, it really just depends on the woman and her preferences. The ick also happens when we think that men wouldn’t like something about us as well, whether it is a physical, emotional or mental attribute.

[Sawyerblu]

Well***

[VanillaSalt]

Ty for this insight Sawyer. Love learning how prime think.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Sawyerblu You seem to know a lot about this subject, and you brought up a lot of points that I'd never thought of before. Would you mind if I asked you for advice sometimes?

[Giselleselfish]

@Jamie05rhs She’s still single, so her advice might not get you into a partnership.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Giselleselfish You may give me advice as well if you wish. I am an open-minded person.

[Sawyerblu]

@giselleselfish, I’m not single lmao, I even commented about my boyfriend 😭😂

[Sawyerblu]

And of course! Feel free to ask anytime.

[red324]

You have a wedding ring on in your profile pic.

[Sawyerblu]

@red324 the picture is flipped because of the camera! It’s actually on my left hand lol it definitely looks like it though 🥴

[red324]

I'm confused. It's supposed to be on your left hand.

[Sawyerblu]

Sorry right* hand, doesn’t really matter though since it’s not a wedding ring

[shygirlie_xoxo_]

Even if the girl just comes back and forth it doesn't mean that she will be comfortable to go on an actual date with someone they just met online. They agree because many times men just cling to them or keep on repeating the same thing again and again. They just intend to go snd dates and fuck. But first deep conversations are important. If a guy will be her friend first and would understand her, her situations that maybe it's her first time in dating and all, will respect her boundary and will accordingly give her time to decide she really wants to meet the person then she will certainly agree to come over a date and will actually show up. Some girls initiate chatting with men who can be their potential dates but maybe they don't find something reliable in the person and so they never show up on dates.

[red324]

The whole purpose of the date is to get to know the person in person and make sure they are who they say they are. How many times have I met a girl online and found she's 75 pounds heavier than the pictures show or that her pics were taken 6 years ago. I've learned to just add 50 pounds to what I see in the pics and for the exception of maybe 5 dates it's been true.

[shygirlie_xoxo_]

Okay so you go on dates to check her weight. If you are so much concerned about someone's actual weight then just don't get into online dating and don't expect anything from girls. Meet people you see around yourself and date them by seeing their actual weight

[red324]

That's not all I look for c'mon.

[red324]

I've run into girls that were a little over weight, but they had the cutest smile and sweetest personality, that I looked over that aspect.

[Anonymous]

They’ll all meet a guy they’re attracted to. If they don’t meet you it’s just that they weren’t attracted to you and just wanted your attention.

What you have to figure out is how to gauge a girl’s interest. Chat for a little bit and get her number, then set the date up that week or the next. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - you move too slow.

Girl doesn’t wanna move that fast? Next.

Women can also sense your energy regardless of how you try to act. You try to come off as non-needy by not texting every day but when you constantly try to get the girl on a date even after she’s refused one you signal desperation anyway. When your default response to a girl rejecting your number, a date, or standing you up is to lose interest and move on. m, that also will change your energy.

[red324]

Lots of contractdictions here. You say I move too slow. Usually I'll talk for about 5 days before asking on a date. The last girl that cancelled I think we started talking on a Saturday, Sunday I asked her on a date for Wednesday. Maybe that one was too fast I don't know

[ChrisMaster69]

It can be a mix of things.

they did a pretty good survey here a while back.

first big one was the red flag or concerns that the guy sent out as his nature changed from just chatting etc to actually dating, a lot got too intense and personal. One girl said it went from chatting to trying to find out where they lived, worked and other really personal stuff.
the type of stuff you don’t share even if dating until you trust them.

another was just basically that move from social media interaction to real world, a lot (both sexes) said this was often suddenly a cliff edge.

I know I’ve had various responses, yeah odd did not show, but it happens, it’s also worth if think being catfishes just report to tinder etc.

[scholastic_vibez]

A lot of women are attention whores with serious self - esteem issues. They may be only for example be a 5 or 6, A cup, thighs that touch, weight issues, but they lie to themselves, and convince themselves they’re a 10. But, they know they’re not, and string guys a long just long enough to get enough self esteem from the guys compliments to go after the guy she really wants.


Other factors to consider, she dates all these corporate management types, so she can manipulate them into taking her on expensive vacations, and to pricey restaurants, and musicals. Then she complains to intellectual guys that the corporate schmucks bore her to death, and she wishes her corporate boyfriend was as intellectual as you. But, no matter how much she complains about what a moron he is, she’s a gold digging bitch who will never leave that life no matter how bored she is.

[JSmuve]

Since the advent of the smartphone and dating apps, we've entered into something called the "attention economy" where women are the beneficiaries of it. They're given so much attention that they don't know what to do with it all so they string guys along until things start to get real and they have to make grown up decisions. They end up deciding to cut bait and move on to the next in line of guys who'll gladly give them attention to boost their ego. They literally don't have to do anything but exist and that's more than enough for a lot of guys.

[red324]

And the guys don't care. I Guess women don't ever get stood up so they don't know how it feels.

[red324]

Of the male population would raise their standards instead of putting up with This shit it wouldn't be as much of an issue. The girl that cancelled today said she had a family emergency. Not sure when she was planning on telling me, but I made sure figure out whether the date was still on before I wasted any time getting ready or altered my plans. She responds with oh I had a family emergency gonna have to cancel tonight. I respond and say "LMAO! I call bs on that one". You know how many girls have told me their grandma died or fell or whatever?

[JSmuve]

Ya if she cancels without rescheduling then she was never serious. Guys totally need to up their standards on what to accept from women, but we're the "pursuers" so as long as they have something that we want and we're willing to make the effort, they don't have to do anything. It's really sad, actually.

[red324]

I don't really care that they flake because I've learned from previous mistakes to not put too much effort into a woman you haven't even met in person. I've also learned to schedule a date about 8pm or so that way I don't really have to change my plans too much. Yeah I may need to stop what I'm doing an hour early to run home shower and change, but that's not too big a deal. The only time wasted if she cancels was the week or two I spent texting her. Hell I used to take the day off work to prepare myself mentally, clean the truck out etc. Never again, I've been on enough dates now to learn that we will either click or we won't, so a woman who wants to text you for 2 months before she even thinks about a date is probably a virgin or something.

[red324]

Or has so many problems from previous guys that you wouldn't want to have anything to do with her anyways.

[Truthbewithyou]

They're not serious about you. They just like the attention. You wanting to message or wanting a date, gives them an ego boost. They get the boost and then bail. Some get the boost without the date, some get the boost by going on the date. If she's doing this, she's not that interested.

[red324]

Okay so what do I do? Quit texting and she if she initiates a text all by herself? I thought the guy was supposed to chase the girl?

[red324]

And when I say initiate I mean not just respond to something I said.

[Truthbewithyou]

The guy is. However, you can tell if there is some interest there. She will engage in conversation and ask about you as well. If she is being lack luster and isn't bothering to participate in a conversation, like replying with one word, she isn't that interested.

[red324]

Oh I don't have that problem. They hardly ever send me one word answers and we usually have fairly engaged conversations through text. My problem is they don't care to meet up, doesn't matter how good the text conversation is. Maybe that's just it. I'm entertaining to text, but they don't find me physically attractive enough to go on a date or something.

[Truthbewithyou]

I read your updates. You're doing online dating. Stuff like this is common on there. Not many people take online dating seriously. Majority, use it as a time waster.

[red324]

Do you have friends that do online dating that use it just cause they're bored?

[Truthbewithyou]

"Maybe that's just it. I'm entertaining to text, but they don't find me physically attractive enough to go on a date or something." -Agree.

[red324]

Other than chatting up the girls I see during my daily routine, I don't really have a big enough social circle to meet people in real life.

[red324]

I'm not trying to knock my looks. I'm no 10, but i'm not ugly either. The girls I go after are just average usually, but I bet you my conversations are more interesting than most guys.

[Truthbewithyou]

Yes because they don't really want to meet a guy online. Especially, now a days. It's pretty much used for when your lonely and you have no options in the real world.

[Truthbewithyou]

Yes I know. 10s don't online date. But I understand, can't knock you for being honest. That's a good characteristic about you, that you are good at conversation. Keep that, no matter which woman you run across that isn't appreciative of it.

[red324]

I wish I had more friends. This would be a lot easier if people knew I existed.

[Truthbewithyou]

Get out more, get in shape, go travel. They'll come.

[DarkCarousel]

I scrolled past a guy on bumble and his profile said, "Update: if you're going to not show up, please don't make plans and then unmatch with me right before the date." Or something like that.
I thought it was odd but I guess it happens enough that someone would update with that. Pretty crummy if you ask me. If I'm not ready to meet up, I'll say so.

I'm sorry that I can't assist you in understanding to why this happens.

[red324]

I find if I don't get their number off the app it's more likely to happen. Just another little trick to see how serious they are. When I was younger I lost count the number of times a girl would text me an hour or less before our date and cancel. So you're going to wait until I've hopped into the shower changed and am getting ready to head your way to tell me this?

[DarkCarousel]

That makes sense, getting their number. I think even having an actual chat on the phone is good to see if they are serious.

I have texted the morning/day of the date to confirm the date/time is still ideal. I understand what you mean about that frustration. It really bothers me that people can so easily waste another person's time and efforts.

[red324]

I don't think that guy is doing himself any favors by putting that as a headline though. Like a ghoster is going to say oh I'll give him a break today...

[Turrorrr]

if you are looking for a serious and healthy relationship, just don't go on apps. the probability of finding someone you really like, having luck with the algorithm and not to any mistake in order to lose trust in other person's eyes is just too big.

online dating is a rule of numbers. going to a casual event is a rule of allowing other person more freedom and opportunity to know you. and is far better in my opinion.

[red324]

I've been on tons of dates, the problem is I get one or two then I'm just tossed into their line of guys they're dating.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

I only do this when I'm actually being serious about dating. I'm currently waiting for someone and that someone is waiting for me. It'll start off as long distance, but hopefully it'll work out when we are able to see each other.

Maybe I could go on a dating app when I turn 18 and agree to date other guys so I can have more dating experience. If the relationship lasts for more than two years, I'll be damned.

[HiveBee]

Because nomatter who you are, unless you're a celebrity or some shit, 90% of women are not going to want you.

That's why you have to go on many dates and find one you like who likes you back.

Dont waste your time. Girls will use you for a free dinner.

That's why you have to be brutal and honest and extremely picky. Because they are too.

You can't feel bad cuz girls flake. They do that to every guy. But, not all will.

[Alyssa11]

Because we’re bored and we like the attention.


PS I don’t do this anymore. I used to be childish and now I’m a high value woman so please don’t come for me lol. I’m just being honest. You asked I answer.

[red324]

Thank You.

[red324]

I'm going to use my head for just a minute since you're honest.
Girls go online because: They like the attention
They're bored
I'm the backup plan
They want to cheat on their boyfriend.
They just want to fuck.
Ego boost
They have social anxiety
They aren't wanted by their normal group of people
They're druggies with no life
Broken

Am I hitting the nail on the head here? I mean I've only been doing online dating for about 4 years now.

[red324]

The last three dates I went on that I guess I didn't realize until later on and this was 6 months before the lockdowns. All three of these women based off of how they acted after the first date I'm pretty sure they were just looking to fuck and cheat on their boyfriend and I didn't pickup on the subtle cues. This was back when I thought these sites were made for actual dates and really people just use these to hookup. It wasn't until my best friend finally got through to me and I said i think you're right.

[Giselleselfish]

I usually browse through when my boyfriend has made me so angry that I’m fuming, so then it seems logical to go on the dating apps and chat to other men to get some revenge in the form of “emotional cheating”.

[Alyssa11]

Yeah it can be all sorts of reasons but it’s always attention or validation

[Anonymous]

Because trust issues. I get a thousand “date” offers from men online whom and how tf am I supposed to pick or trust any lol? Not to mention the amount of men who text me like im their slut; ill pay u and we will fuck like uh no tf we are not doing that. Then I question every guy and i need time to decide.

[red324]

I don't do that. I'll schedule a date at olive garden at 8pm on whatever day. She agrees and we meet meet up in separate vehicles and I pay for the date.

[red324]

You're bring disrespectful if you agree to a gate like that then just bail on the guy. So you girls think you can text a guy for 3 weeks and know him like he's been your boyfriend for 2 years, then you finally meet up and go wait this person is not anything I thought he was.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know to be honest, there’s some guys like that out there too. But I think maybe some are looking to hookup or maybe are just bored looking for new people to talk to. I honestly just don’t know, but I always wondered if you’re using a dating app then why aren’t you going on dates? Or why are you in a relationship and on a dating app? Cause there’s plenty of people like that too.

[bamesjond0069]

They are satisfied by texting attention. Its safe easy and there are unlimited men standing in line. Thats all they need to be happy. They lay in bed at their parents house and watch netflix and text all damn day. Pretty sad.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Lololol cynical and accurate, I love it!!! Not for all girls for sure, but yeah, I know a few ladies like this haha.

[red324]

@Xoxocutekitty And they're 35

[red324]

Those are easy to spot though

[Anonymous]

Im not gonna lie, normally I get on when am very bored and just looking to text back to back. BUT once I see that they have an intention of "meeting" I let them know and just stop responding.

Besides all of that, I don't do online dating anymore. Those meets can be very awkward.

[VanillaSalt]

This is the truth of online dating for men. Highly recommend against online dating unless your a Chad.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Because either it's the ego or they just don't want to go on a date with you and don't want to tell you to hurt your feelings, which is definitely bad as well and she can't come out and tell you. Consider that a good thing

[The_Maphio]

Why'd you even trust an online dating site to begin with?
You're wasting your time, dude.

[Redstang88]

Attention I guess, or got a better offer maybe. But yeah I’m probably 1 out of 4 or 5 planned dates actually going through with it

[red324]

I was doing good for a while. No cancellations.

[Redstang88]

Yeah I’ve actually had a better record lately, but overall it’s pretty ridiculous. Fuckin wish the last one had cancelled on me 🙄

[Avicenna]

Some of them are in relationships and are just on these apps for affirmation.

[LeeannaDD]

Your assuming things you couldn't possibly know. It says more about you than women

[VanillaSalt]

You assume that if you were standing in front of a fan you’d be cooler... you assume the car driving your direction while your stopped at a 3 way is going to turn off their turn signals on... You assume if you do a good job at work you’ll be recognized...

Assumptions are pattern recognition.

[Giselleselfish]

“Is going to turn off their turn signals on” LMAOOOOOO

[VanillaSalt]

Quick types not accurate when I’m at work because it’s humid. I didn’t care enough to spell check for you. For obvious reasons... all you got from that was the error. Waste of words.

[Giselleselfish]

@VanillaSalt HAHHAHAAAAHA

[Giselleselfish]

@VanillaSalt Waste of a guy

[VanillaSalt]

How are you talking to me right now I could sworn I blocked you for your attitude days so... whelp here goes a second try.

[Giselleselfish]

@VanillaSalt Bla bla. Didn’t bother reading your shit reply

[Anonymous]

What was the red flag? That she didn't had a date for over 3 years? I ve been also single for over 2 years 😒

[red324]

I didn't explain this well. That after being dumped 3 years ago she still wasn't over the guy and she had been on the dating app for the last year and hasn't went on one date. To me that's a red flag... I have no idea what I said to get her to admit this, pretty sure she unmatched me, but like I said i've learned a few tricks to weed out the tire kickers online.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok got it 👍

[VanillaSalt]

Ide find a woman not dating for several years a red flag.

[delakando]

Sadly a lot of women online want validation. This often means they want fans. even on dating apps and sites they don't want to date.. they want you to fawn over them.

[Uptowngirl88]

We don't want to waste our time, we're not in a rush like you guys are, it's a way to determine if you're worth it

[red324]

So just go along with it and text you for 3 months and you'll eventually go on a date?

[red324]

... right

[rievious]

The date is what determines if we're worth it. Not the texts.

[Uptowngirl88]

We think differently. We prefer to get to know you through text before getting our hair, nails , brows and wax done. And before purchasing a new outfit. It's expensive being a woman

[rievious]

You're definitely not my type. I'd want you to come as you are. I want to meet the regular you not some super fancy version. That sounds like a 3rd to 4th date stuff.

[Uptowngirl88]

@rievious I don't care what some guy thinks. I'm coming as I want. And I don't care if I'm not your type. I wasn't looking

[red324]

I'll text for 2 maybe 3 weeks after that I'm either taking you out or I'm telling you to go fuck yourself. It's that simple. Years ago I texted a girl for 6 months one time asked her out several times during that period. She started dating some other guy one day and told me to quit texting her.

[red324]

@rievious Sometimes it takes two or three dates for me to decide what I think about a girl. It can also take me a bit to warm up to someone. That's my other pet peeve, they throw in the towel after one date.

[red324]

So if I schedule to meet you at a restaurant and I have no intention in ever showing up you're cool with you? Who cares, you just spent an 1.5hrs fixing your hair picking out an outfit just so some dude can leave you waiting at the dinner table with no intention of showing. Or he texts 30 minutes beforehand when you're about to head to the restaurant with your hair all done and a nice dress on. Your time isn't valuable who cares, you were just doing it for practice I guess. Better luck next time... Ouch huh? THATS HOW I FEEL WHEN YOU WOMEN CANCEL ON ME my time is valuable to me just as your time should be valuable to YOU.

[Aimée__LJ]

Mmmm I don't know social anxiety or you're somehow picking the catfish's

[Anonymous]

Being single for 3 years is not a red flag lmao. I've been single for 20 years although I’ve had guys try and take me out.

[Marioz86]

I gave up on dating via tinder and such never had anything more there then a one night stands. With weird fuc. up up chicks in head.

[red324]

The popularity of dating apps changes. Like bumble and okcupid used to be popular. I only get hits on tinder now and since covid I've been getting like 3 times the matches as before.

[Anonymous]

Its for the ego boost. Once they feel confident that they can actually get a date, then they’re satisfied.

[Anonymous]

These sites are mostly about chatting.

If you want the real deal, then get away from the cyber world.

[red324]

Don't get me wrong dude, I go on dates from these sites. I've only ever dated one girl that wasn't from an online site.

[Opinion Owner]

Then what are you complaining about, dude?

[bulletbob555]

Why do they in real life. A mystery we have to deal with

[SamA_nold]

Being single for 3 years is a bad thing?

[red324]

That one wasn't even over her ex after 3 years.

[red324]

No it's not a bad thing. I'm pretty sure she said she had been on there for a year and hadn't even been on a single date. I forgot what she said that tipped me off to call her out on it right off the bat. We hadn't even texted 5 or 6 texts before I brought it up.

[KrakenAttackin]

These women are online for the ego boost.

[Dchrls78104]

It's called Catfishing. Have you heard the term?

[anylolone]

Same as guys, validation

[AMA513]

Most of em are dudes.

[Anonymous]

Cause they are looking for the best meal ticket.