Why does it seem vast majority of men are low quality nowadays?

[Anonymous]

You see situationships, men who sleep around, men who require you to "put out" by a certain date, guys who are "touchy" on first dated, men who never want to call you his wife even though you are doing all his work washing his underwear, cooking his lunchboxes, raising his kids, paying his bills, guys who go online dating looking for a relationship and complain they can't find a woman YET, they ghost, stand you up. Guys with amazing personalities but have no respect for a woman, 30 yr old guys who never want to settle down until their 60s. The rare good men with decent character usually lack personality.

The list just goes on... it makes me feel like I am forced to either stay single or settle for a low quality bad man.

Men today are a far cry from the gentlemen they used to be.

[Lionman95]

First of all when people look back in time they idealise the past. Guys back in the day had certain character traits many guys today don´t have but none the less they were not the ideal guy many people portray them as today.
The reason it seems many guys are low quality is because some are and they are more talked about than the good ones. The guys that are good to date are taken for granted and they are therefore easily forgotten. The guys are seen as extremely bad at the same time are more often talked about either on social media, or they are portrayed in sitcoms and movies. So the picture people have of guys are more likely bad than good.
I think there are many reasons why guys turn out bad for dating but one of them is that parents, churches, social clubs etc. take for granted that boys turn into father figures once they are old enough. But that´s often not the case. The problem is that in history boys were faced with the necessity to mature early. Like guys often had to start the family at 18-20. That´s nowadays in the West nowadays time where people try to figure out who they are either by fly around the world or working some low paid job to get know the business but it´s rarely a time where people start a family and get into responsibility.
But since there are so many comforts boys grow up into manchildren meaning they are a child at heart by they are 25/30 of age without much of a problem since they can get food delivered work a lower job and get through life, too.
The issue is that many guys are not taught by their parents how to be responsible for life since the parents handled all their youth or they had someone else do that.

[Friendlybro79]

I think it looks like that to you because you're unconsciously decided most men are like this based on your anecdotal experiences. There a women also like as you describe but that doesn't mean the vast majority are.

Based on your age, and the fact that young adults nowadays have a harder time being financially capable to an adult life (not to their fault alone) until way later than past generations, it might lead to possibly less likelihood of feeling a need to settle down until they are older.

[virtualwasp]

not true, everyone is different and depending on when and how you see them. sometimes a challenging day can turn anyone into a wally or ass, doesn't mean a guy is low quailty. Maybe they dont match your morals and ambition but you only need one guy in your life.

[LazerBean]

Because many are low quality. Most women are not any better, though. Such things are irrelevant though, since good men and women have no trouble finding eachother.

[Asker]

Women dont use men nearly as much as men use and take advantage of women nowadays. Plus, your statement that good men can find good women is completely false. A good woman can go on a dating app and only meet scum bags. There is such few places to meet men nowadays

[LazerBean]

If you think that, it's because you don't get much experience with good women. The good women I know are most already married by 22. Easy peasy.

[Asker]

@lazerbean

Most women dont marry by 22. I don't know where u live but thats considered rare

[LazerBean]

That's because most women aren't good women. Good women and men attract eachother plus are efficient when it comes to dating, this are often able to get married younger.

[Asker]

Data shows that people who marry under the age of 25 tend to divorce way more than people who marry over that age

[LazerBean]

Data shows that when combining age of marriage and number of lifetime sexual partners, the fewer sexual partners a person has the happier their marriage is and the lower their divorce rate, and the variable of age makes no significant difference.

[Asker]

@lazerbean

just because your divorce rate is lower, it doesn't mean you are happier. your "happy" is just an illusion. I will explain why.

you just don't feel the need to divorce because you never knew how amazing other men could be.

its kinda like you saying chocolate ice cream is the best tasting ice cream you ever had in your life... then you had rocky road ice cream and it blew your mind!

you would never know rocky road ice cream is better than chocolate ice cream... if you never knew how it tasted.

same thing goes for husbands... your mediocre shitty husband can be the "best man in the world" because you never dated other men so you never knew how much more amazing a man can be.

[Asker]

48 percent of those who marry before the age of 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years,
compared to 25 percent of those who marry after the age of 25.
60 percent of couples married between the age of 20 -25 will end in divorce.

www.wf-lawyers.com/.../

According to the statistics, if a couple gets married when they’re teenagers, they have a 38 percent risk of divorce. If a couple gets married when they’re 20 to 24-years-old, they have a 27 percent risk of divorce. By comparison, couples who get married when they’re 25 to 29-years-old have a 14 percent risk of divorce and couples who marry when they’re 30 to 34-years-old only have a 10 percent risk of divorce.

Greco and Wolfinger believe that the reason for the increased likelihood of divorce for younger couples is because people are still growing and figuring out who they are until their mid to late 20s. The human brain doesn’t even fully develop until a person reaches their mid-20s.

www.rechlaw.com/.../

[LazerBean]

I didn't say just divorce rate, I said marital happiness and divorce. In fact, the study mainly focuses on marital satisfaction. Your example is pretty ignorant because someone who is married to a shitty person cannot be happy. Plus the same could be said of someone who has been with 30 shitty people. And that argument is irrelevant anyway because like I said, when you are looking at age statistics and account for the sexual body count, it makes it clear that the age accounts for little significance.

ifstudies.org/.../does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness

My study is from an actual, credible research institution source that has been used by large newspapers such as the Washington Port, rather than random, unheard of law firm websites that end in. com.

[Asker]

@lazerbean

my study is from the same website as yours...

Delaying marriage from the teens until the early twenties produces the largest declines in divorce risk, for totally understandable reasons:

we’re all changing a lot more from year to year as teenagers than when we’re in our twenties or thirties. Our parents and friends are likely to disapprove of a teenage marriage, but their feelings probably won’t change much once we hit our mid-twenties. Still, earlier scholarship found that the risk of divorce continued to decline past that point, albeit at a milder rate (as the figure using 1995 data shows below).

And why wouldn’t it?

Couples in their thirties are more mature and usually have a sounder economic foundation. Conversely, youthful marriage is correlated with lower educational attainment, which increases divorce risk no matter how old you are.

ifstudies.org/.../

[Asker]

@lazerbean

someone who marries at 25 is over 50 percent less likely to get divorced than is someone who weds at age 20. Most youthful couples simply do not have the maturity, coping skills, and social support it takes to make marriage work. In the face of routine marital problems, teens and young twenty-somethings lack the wherewithal necessary for happy resolutions.

ifstudies.org/.../

[Asker]

@lazerbean

[Your example is pretty ignorant because someone who is married to a shitty person cannot be happy.]

when your husband is the only man you've been with your entire life... you really don't know that there are BETTER MEN out there...

its kinda like saying your husband sucks at sex in bed... you will never know he sucks in bed if you never enjoyed sex with anyone better.

just because you are married, it does not mean you are actually living your best life...

you just think you are living the best life because you've never seen what a "better life" really feels like.

[LazerBean]

So since you've never been with a decent man how do you know that it gets better? By your logic, you dont and therefore you should be happy with all the crappy men you attract.

And yes the website says the connection between age and divorce exists, but then says it is actually irrelevant when ypu account for how much of a whore a person is. How many people have you whored yourself out to? Your bitterness indicates that your own low quality is the reason no decent men want to come around you.

[LazerBean]

Also that same website we both use shows that a person with just 2 lifetime sex partners is 7x more likely to get divorced than someone with only one partner, and that multiplier just keeps going up with each partner.

[Asker]

@lazerbean

So what? Statistics also say people who marry under the age of 25 are 50% more likely to divorce.

So what exactly are you bragging about?

[Asker]

@lazerbean

[Your bitterness indicates that your own low quality is the reason no decent men want to come around you.]

You have absolutely no evidence im a low quality person. I know if im a high quality person, i dont need you to tell me

[Asker]

@lazerbean

At least im not like you, i get to date around and experience better men. While you're stuck married to a loser who you think is awesome because you just haven't seen anyone better

[RavVid]

It goes both ways. Girls aren't happy with guys. Guys aren't happy with girls.

With 80% of marriages being unilaterally terminated by the wife after 8 years, any sensible man will not marry and will avoid impregnating a woman.

Marriage for life was the compromise point between guys and girls but that is dead so on a societal basis guys and girls don't work any more. We just have to accept the family is long dead.

Oh one of the compromises was that men were gentlemen and women were ladies. That's dead as well.

[Asker]

because reality is... women lose in marriage while men win in marriage.
studies show that men make more money after marriage while women make less.
women do more housework after marriage while men do less housework

[JesseP1nk]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 If a woman marries a rich guy after divorce their assets go 50-50 between them, Women get custody over kids.

[RavVid]

I would think what you say is true but I think the interpretation is false.

Both men and women act (and vote) to maximize the position of the family. Men will be more aggressive in increasing their income by working more hours (if that is an option) and seeking more highly rewarded but more stressful work which often requires unbillable hours.

As an example I have decided not to marry - ever - and so I am questioning whether to not put so much into work and perhaps put it into my lifestyle instead. I love working enjoy stress and prize achievements. If I married it would be unquestioned in my mind to put in maximal effort. Having decided not to marry the follow on question is how much effort do I put into earning the maximum I can? Still thinking on that.

[RavVid]

I have no doubt what you say is true that married men earn more after marriage because they push themselves harder.

I also have no doubt that women do more domestic work after marriage and in particular after children. Most women will take paid maternity leave for a start. Many husbands and wives will decide it is better - if economically possible - that the wife/mother focuses on the children and stays at home whilst the husband/father focuses on bringing in money. It would be the worst of all worlds if the wife and husband focused on earning more and neither focused on the children.

It still does happen that the wife continues to be a stay at home till at least all children are in elementary school and quite possibly later till they are responsible enough to mostly take care of themselves.

What you are describing is husbands and wives specializing in the division of labor in the family unit which they have been doing since humans made the evolutionary step of becoming Hunters & Gatherers and then becoming Early Neolithic Farmers 10K years ago.

It is quite trite to twist this labor specialization into females losing/males winning when it is husbands and wives maximizing the family benefits as they have for millennium.

[Finchie40]

Because most females are low quality as well these days , I feel social media played a big part on damaging the foundations of
Relationships these days , most people today don’t value each other , they just like the convenience of each other , When things don’t go their way they run to someone else thinking that person is going to save them or some shit. Most people today have a hard time admitting they are wrong , they always assume they are right

[Billlewis]

Well, for one thing, there aren't as many good jobs as there used to, so there are fewer guys who have money. Aside from that, I think it's just a case of women having the upper hand, and the luxury of being much more selective than they could be before. I don't mind being turned down as a partner for intimacy, as long as she'll let me serve her in some other capacity.

[Joshydavid25]

Wouldn't say the vast majority are low value.. But it's because society is not cultivating men like they are women.. Masculinity is all but being said to have wanted to be extinct, while at the same time being praised in certain individuals.. People talk all types of sh! t about men, even if they aren't sh! t.. And men are not only not appreciated, but looked down upon even by other men.. The amount of men never told to be the best they can be nowadays is astounding.. Even me..

[Asker]

has nothing to do with masculinity. it seems like vast majority of guys just don't want to commit and just want to sleep around. i can't even go one a date with a guy without him trying to touch me.

[Joshydavid25]

Vast majority of guys want to find somebody to love just like women.. Some guy must have just hurt you in order for you to say anything like that..

[DextroShade]

This the world feminism has created, these men aren't gentlemen because you females aren't ladies. Most of you are entitled, narcissistic whores who think they are better than the men you qualify for just because a high end guy fucked you once. No guy wants to be the flower cuck in the line of naked dudes.

[Anonymous]

Porn? Dating can involve a wide range of behaviors and challenges, from mixed signals to ghosting. It's important to maintain your standards and boundaries while seeking a partner who values and respects you. While challenges exist, there are individuals with both good character and engaging personalities to be found with patience and open-mindedness.

[BoopBoopBeep]

The dating pool needs chlorine. I can assure you the average caliber of women isn't all that extraordinary either.

[Asker]

I honestly think the men are way worse.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Of course you do, that's who you're dating.

[BarryLiverstone]

One reason is the traditional dating and courtship rules have fallen away. You know you used to go on a date and not even kiss. That meant both people took their time to get to know and rely on each other.

[Asker]

it seems like vast majority of guys just don't want to commit and just want to sleep around. i can't even go one a date with a guy without him trying to touch me.

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s similar to what girls want. As I said it’s a shift in overall expectations and a date is no longer just about spending time and getting to know someone. Seems like girls want to be kissed and want the guy to desire them.

[BarryLiverstone]

It may sound cray but I also believe the timing of a date matters. When you go on a first date what’s it been like?

[Asker]

read my question... it will speak to all my experiences i've had with men.

in all honesty... i just find men today so unappealing... im ok with never marrying

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok honestly you didn’t answer my question. I was trying to help. Good luck

[Asker]

i did answer your question...

[BarryLiverstone]

You said “read my question”… that wasn’t an answer. You assumed that I didn’t read the details to your question the first time when I did. It’s why I followed up to ask what some of your first dates have been like. You could have told me about your last date like what you did and how he met you and all.

I was trying to help and not start an argument. You asked a question which implied you wanted answers. Then you said all men are unappealing. That hurt

[Asker]

you asked what my experiences with men were. and it is entirely listed IN DETAIL in the question above... i don't know why you're trying to cause problems.

[BarryLiverstone]

Being willing to help isn’t causing problems.

[jimmy2]

When Dad left the home and never returned, mom was left to work 2or 3 jobs. Little Jane mom taught how to love her man. Little Johnny was left out in the cold. Now little Johnnys have grown into men and don't know how to love a woman.

If looking for a loving man you have 2 choices
One teach your man how to love you or get with a okder man who was taught by dad

[OfMiceandMen]

Men today are a far cry from the gentlemen they used to be..

[YAsQuen]

Feminism has feminized men and masculinized women. We are that far gone that we dont even realize that.

Anyways this has created a generation of low T males hence they have no drive to accomplish and are butt ugly. The only ones (most) not feminized men are those from the fringes of society (criminal adjacent).

So you get Simps 33%

Doomers (boys that have realized but are to low t to fight) 45%

Players 10 %

And decent men

Choose wisely modern women

[Truthatanycost]

'The rare good men with decent character usually lack personality. '

What do you mean by lack character?

[Asker]

google it

[Anonymous]

That's easy. You're a negative person. You CHOOSE the worst men and then decide to label on men when it doesn't work out. This is a YOU problem. And it's up to you whether you want to fix it, or remain negative. Good luck!👍

[Asker]

i don't choose the worst men. I can't choose a good man when good men simply don't exist.

[Opinion Owner]

And as long as you maintain that attitude and don't want to fix YOU this will persist.

[Anonymous]

If I could vote this a thousand times I would. You're speaking the truth and it sucks. I had an ex proclaim he cared about me for a while and then just out of the blue, he leaves me.

[zagor]

And the same goes for women. Take off your blinders - you probably don't notice as presumably you aren't dating women, but the pool there looks pretty dismal as well.

[genericname85]

asking the same question in different words: why is your expectation in men higher than what the vast majority of men can deliver?

[Anonymous]

They aren't. Men are what they always were. Get over it. You asshole. You aren't perfect!

[Asker]

sounds like you just didn't like my question. haha

[Anonymous]

If you can't find a guy, you either have unreasonable standards, or you're a toxic person so you attract toxic men.

[Asker]

I actually dont attract any men. Men dont approach to me in real life

[Opinion Owner]

Then you must not take care of yourself or maybe you look unapproachable. I'm not saying this to be mean, but most women are attractive by default. You just have to be healthy and not have an awful personality. You're doing something that is scaring them away.

[Opinion Owner]

You're young. You have plently of time to figure out what the problem is and fix it.

[Opinion Owner]

And don't judge men based on someone else's personal experience. As a said, those women most likely have a list of things wrong with them, too. that's why they keep the company they do. You ever heard "you are who your friends are?" The same applies to relationships.

[Asker]

If you're too dumb to realize that not every 25 yr old is attractive, I dont have to take your advice.

[Opinion Owner]

Ma'am, I'm a man who has had friendships with MANY men that you will never have. I'm telling you how it is. Most women do not have to try too hard. You just need to take basic care of yourself. Men really aren't that picky, especially with appearance.

[Opinion Owner]

But whatever, you clearly just want to be a victim so confine refusing to work on yourself and continue being lonely. It doesn't matter to me lol

[Asker]

Really? Men aren't picky with appearance? Meanwhile 90 percent of all men on GAG wouldn't date a woman over 30.

That makes your statement false

[Opinion Owner]

Common sense would tell you that GAG isn't most men.

[Asker]

Haha you can't just assume that

As far as i know, lame pathetic guys on here just say whatever benefits them

1 yr later, u will come back and say you won't date women over 30

[Opinion Owner]

Die alone, then... I don't know else to tell you. Lol. You're going to to be one of those 40 year old women complaining that she still couldn't hasn't been able to figure out how to get and keep a man.

Your shir attitude towards someone who was just offering you advice (which is the point of this site) is very telling on what type of woman you are and why men aren't interested in you.

[Opinion Owner]

Shit

[Asker]

I have a decent career, can pay my own bills, send myself on vacation.. so I don't need a man.
I can afford to have high standards..

[You're going to to be one of those 40 year old women complaining that she still couldn't hasn't been able to figure out how to get and keep a man.]

with the amount of low quality men nowadays, none of them are worth keeping. lets get the facts straight. I rather have no man than have a shitty man.

quite funny how men like you still think you're desirable when high quality women don't want you.

[jahaims]

Most people are low quality. Societal and cultural values have changed

[Twalli]

All the good men are taken, and we don't have problems so you don't hear about it.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Lol. And what about women?

Aren’t women just lovely in this modern age?

[Anonymous]

Men stopped acting like gentlemen when women stopped acting like ladies.

[In_Trance]

For the same reason the vast majority of women are

[Asker]

Men are worse. Women dont use men the same way men use and take advantage of women nowadays

[In_Trance]

That's a fallacy

[Joshydavid25]

They definitely do use men and brag about it on social media too.. Lmao..

[Asker]

@Joshydavid25

Women get used way more.

[Joshydavid25]

Nah, women use men in different ways to where men use women.. But they use each other in similar amounts..

[Asker]

@Joshydavid25

definitely not.. men use women for free sex too much. women help him wash his underwear, cook is lunch boxes, wash his dishes, do his laundry, even help him raise his kids, pay his bills and he wouldn't even call her his wife

[Joshydavid25]

I'm pretty sure a woman doing all that for a man would end up being his wife, simply because it's hard to find a woman to do any of that.. Lmao.. Most women ain't doing that unless she is his wife..

[BLP11520]

I agree with you