What does it mean if someone doesn’t congratulate you on your wedding?

[nella965]

I told my supervisors and some of my coworkers that I am getting married. Everyone was through the roof happy for me. Except one supervisor who knew I had a crush on him just a year ago and he got really excited. But eventually he noticed something about me that turned him off so he stopped pursuing me. He didn't congratulate me at first but sounded super incoherent like he was trying to rush me off the phone. Then later, he did manage to say "congrats" to me without any enthusiasm , as if he was supposed to say it rather than to say it with meaning.

When we met, he didn't seem to care , but I sensed that he was also a bit happy for me (body language wise) but never mentioned a thing about the upcoming wedding. But I thought he stopped pursuing me so its weird that he's not congratulating me.

[coachTanthony]

They don't see you as a priority in their life. Maybe they have been unlucky in love and is jealous you have something they don't.


"When people hate on you it's because you have something that they want"
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

[nella965]

I think it’s pretty standard response to congratulate someone especially in person , if they tell you that they’re getting married

[nella965]

Apparently he’s the only one who doesn’t seem to care

[coachTanthony]

I would be more worried about if NOBODY congratulated you. If you have one odd ball that didn't does it really matter in the end?

[nella965]

Yea every single one of my coworkers/ supervisors congratulated me with much enthusiasm. One supervisor began yelling/ cheering with excitement. the other one Supervisor rushed over to me to tell me how happy he is for me. I never expected that so many people would be so happy for me. It put a smile on all their faces.

Then there’s this one supervisor who knew I had a crush on him a year ago. But then I thought he was no longer interested in me so it doesn’t really make sense how he’s the only one that doesn’t seem to care

[nella965]

I’m just wondering if he still has feelings for me. Or maybe I misread him

[coachTanthony]

Probably a good chance he is feeling jealous or is bitter that it wasn't him.

[Goatmeal]

Nobody is as excited about your marriage as you are. The exception may be your mother.

[nella965]

The entire office is happy about my marriage except for 1 person

[Goatmeal]

Why should he be happy that you're taking yourself off the market?

[nella965]

Because he stopped pursuing me at one point?

[Goatmeal]

These things aren't rational. You can't turn emotions on or off like a tap. Maybe he still has some residual feelings for you.

[Luckylobo_taco5]

Here’s the craziest thing about life and people. They don’t have to do anything others expect them to. It’s called free will. If the supervisor (who more than likely understands how to keep things professional in your workplace) decides to be…well…professional, and says “congrats” but isn’t jumping through hoops and throwing a party because you are getting married (that’s outside the “professional” setting), so be it. Just be happy for yourself, happy that you have support and move on.

[nella965]

The thing is every one else at the office including multiple supervisors are jumping through the hoops in excitement

[Luckylobo_taco5]

And that’s what they choose to do in reaction. That doesn’t mean this supervisor has to respond the same way everyone else is. Honestly it sounds like the multiple supervisors are being unprofessional in your job, being congratulatory but not overboard with excitement and keeping things strictly business between supervisors and subordinate is what should be done in a professional job setting.

[nella965]

I mean We are not a super strict professional office. We are very causal and happy group where we joke around a lot like family. I was expecting a warmer more genuine response from this person. Certainly it’s odd to see one person not congratulate out of a very happy office

[spartan55]

He did congratulate you. What do you want fucking back flips out of everyone? You sound like a major attention vampire.

[nella965]

It sounded forced without enthusiasm

[spartan55]

Yeah, well what are you gonna do? Maybe he did, maybe not. Again it sounds like if you aren't the star of every show you just short circuit. Hopefully the attention you get leading up to your wedding will at least temporarily satisfy you.

[spartan55]

Is he obligated to have a certain level of enthusiasm? You think guys really give a fuck about that stuff?

[nella965]

Well it certainly is odd if everyone in the office is overjoyed except for one person. You think I wouldn’t notice that? This is the same guy who tried pursuing me before

[spartan55]

Soooooo what? Pursued BEFORE. You have a fiance now REMEMBER?

[nella965]

I thought he wasn’t interested in me anymore which was why I thought it was Odd that he’s not even congratulating me

[spartan55]

Since he stopped pursuing that means he is no longer interested. That means he doesn't care about you or your wedding.

[nella965]

Doesn’t mean you can’t be happy for someone getting married

[nella965]

His lack of congratulations makes it seem like he’s not over me yet

[spartan55]

Ha, so that's what this is about... geez, like I said, you have to be the center of everyone's universe and tbh it's nauseating. You can think he isn't over you in your self absorbed little head if you want, but I'm telling you he doesn't give af. I don't understand why that just can't possibly be true in your mind. Oh wait, yeah I do.

[nella965]

If he doesn’t give An f, then why would he be stumbling inchorently over the phone once I told him the news? and why would he lack such enthusiasm?

[nella965]

every single one of my coworkers/ supervisors congratulated me with much enthusiasm. One supervisor began yelling/ cheering with excitement. the other one Supervisor rushed over to me to tell me how happy he is for me. I never expected that so many people would be so happy for me. It put a smile on all their faces.

Then there’s this one supervisor who knew I had a crush on him a year ago. But then I thought he was no longer interested in me so it doesn’t really make sense how he’s the only one that doesn’t seem to care

[spartan55]

Okay: doesn't matter how he was on the phone, are you kidding me. You are totally grasping at straws. And for the 100th time: he wasn't enthusiastic because HE DIDN'T CARE.
Nice cut and paste on the second paragraph. I'm sure you are exaggerating everyone's reaction, but it doesn't matter. You have some serious self esteem issues, you are trying to get validated by everyone constantly.
So how can this guy 'not be over you' when you didn't even go out ONCE? Guys get hung up on girls that they actually have something with. This is another reason you are completely reaching for something that isn't there. And again, why do you even care? He doesn't. You have a fiance, remember?

[spartan55]

Your coworkers likely reacted that way because they knew if they didn't do cartwheels over your engagement you would get all pissy because you didn't get enough attention.

[nella965]

I think you’re just pissed that you know I’m not falling for your crap.

You think If every single person at the office congratulates me except for 1 person, do you really think I won’t wonder why?

If it were someone else getting married , he might congratulate them but not me.

[spartan55]

Wow, okay, now you know how I feel... fuck outta here. Falling for what crap? You aren't even making sense.
I never said you shouldn't wonder why only one person didn't kiss your ass... so stop making shit up. I gave you the reason he didn't do it. Understand the difference?

[nella965]

There is no evidence that I am making up lies or that I am expecting people to kiss my ass. It’s just that you want me to be making up lies and expecting people to kiss my ass.

And now you’re super pissed cus you found out I wasn’t doing either of those

[spartan55]

Huh? Girl you are seriously unstable. I WANT you to make up lies and expect people to kiss your ass? THEY DID KISS YOUR ASS, I don't care if they did or didn't. Where are you getting that crap?
You were claiming I said things I didn't, which I pointed out. Now you are twisting everything around for some reason. I see another opinion here that is pretty much the same as mine. Yet you want to keep arguing... you are a piece of work. Never your fault, right?

[nella965]

Wondering why he didn’t congratulate me compared to every single other person in the office , does not mean that I am unstable or looking for attention

You just like to come on here and cause trouble. You’re a troll. And now that you realize your trolling attempts aren’t working , you’re all pissed off

[spartan55]

Yeah, a troll, that's it. Look through my profile and read through it. Then you will see I am obviously not. But I know you are far too lazy to do that...😂
So, telling you what you don't to hear is being a troll? And it's "not working" so I'm ALL pissed off... you are about stupid.
So what about the pink user who had the same opinion as me, she a troll too?
And you are "wondering why" he didn't congratulate you with your answer already made up in your head. That's called CRAZY. I guess you think this guy will be obsessed with you forever because he tried to go out with you once... what a fucking joke. He doesn't care.

[nella965]

You are a troll. If not , why would you accuse me of being an attention seeker without solid evidence?

Do you just enjoy going around GAG accusing people of random things , just because you feel like harassing someone?

[spartan55]

Omg, really? The "solid evidence" is this entire thread. You are starting to bore me actually. Here you go: you aren't an attention seeking high maintenance pain in the ass, okay? Oh, and the guy in your office who you never even went out with isn't over you either, he actually LOVES YOU. There, is that what you wanted to hear, you freaking psycho?

[spartan55]

And I like how you keep ducking my point that others share my opinion. But we will just ignore that, right?

[nella965]

So if he never loved me then why is everyone else showing me excitement for my wedding except for him? I’m not even asking for a lot of excitement , just asking for a happy congratulations

[spartan55]

You act like you are entitled to a certain type of response. Are you really that self centered? He doesn't care about your fucking wedding, that's why he didn't care. Get it through your self absorbed little head already.

[nella965]

I think the fact that he has no happy response to my wedding then it means he‘s probably jilted by it

[nella965]

Getting married is a happy thing. No reason why you wouldn’t congratulate someone

[spartan55]

That's how YOU feel about getting married. So, to you, but that means everyone should feel the same? How fucking selfish can you get? Again, you aren't entitled to any congratulations. Why do I have to say everything to you multiple times?

[spartan55]

Yeah, you go ahead and think that he felt 'jilted'. By the guy who barely knows you, and never even went out with. Do you understand how crazy you sound? I think you have a very warped opinion of yourself.

[nella965]

Yea I hoped he would congratulate me just like everyone else but oddly, he didn’t

Isn’t that proof already that he’s jilted?

[spartan55]

I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I'll give you yet another reason he isn't 'jilted'. Jilted basically means rejected. So how is he feeling that way when HE is the one who chose to stop pursuing YOU. You didn't ever reject him... so... how do you explain that?

[nella965]

so how do you explain him being the only person in the office who is not happy about my upcoming wedding? everyone else is super psyched yet he is not anywhere near that. won't even give me a real congratulations

[spartan55]

Wow, do you not listen or something? Or are you just not very bright? I told you several times: because he doesn't give a F... that's why.
Everyone else is 'super psyched' yeah right...

[nella965]

so why isn't he happy with my upcoming engagement like everyone else?

because he secretly doesn't like I'm getting married.

why would it be so hard for you to accept?

[spartan55]

I've given you a couple solid reasons why and you just ignore them. You are seriously psycho. Oh by the way you have a FIANCE remember? Does he know how obsessed you are with this guy who doesn't even fucking like you?

[nella965]

I'm not obsessed with this guy at all. Its just that you seem obsessed with arguing with me, so i am arguing with you right back.

[spartan55]

Yeah, you are, or you wouldn't be carrying on about this. So what does your fiance think about your constant need for attention (remember him?) and what does he think about this supervisor that is supposedly in love you?

[nella965]

its just that you have a BIG problem acknowledging that he might still not be over me. why is it so hard to admit? i never obsessed over this guy at all. But I'm not gonna let some fool like you say something thats complete BS. We all know you just like drama on here

[spartan55]

Drama? Yeah that would be you, nice projection. I gave some very good reasons why he doesn't care and you just ignored them. Now your ridiculous ego has you believing he isn't over you based on... he didn't congratulate you 'enthusiastically' enough. You are a fucking joke.
So let's go into your crazy world for a minute and assume he isn't over you. (even though he dropped you in the first place) what are you going to do? Dump your fiance and hope the guy asks you out? Cheat on your fiance? What's the whole point here? This is all about your ridiculously fragile ego.

[nella965]

Hmmm he didn’t congratulate me because he wasn’t happy. End of story

[spartan55]

No, he didn't because he doesn't give a fuck! End of story crazy girl.

[nella965]

Even if you don’t give a fuck, you can still congratulate someone with a little bit of cheerfulness. The fact that he wasn’t shows that he’s not happy

[nella965]

What’s your problem with admitting that he’s not over me? Haha

[Luckylobo_taco5]

Dude, you are talking to a wall. Because she wants this guy to not be over her for some reason. I feel bad about this fiancé, because it seems she’s not over this guy at work, if she’s really wanting him to be hung up on her that much.

[Jamie05rhs]

Stop worrying what he thinks. His opinion doesn't matter. He's not the one you're getting married to.

[player61526]

They hate you 😡😡😡😡 be safe all the way from them. mind it...

[Anonymous]

Maybe he doesn't care?

[nella965]

Everyone at the office is overjoyed, except for him

[Opinion Owner]

And... Maybe he doesn't care

[nella965]

Is it because maybe he still had feelings for me?

[nella965]

You’re supposed to congratulate someone who is getting married

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe, or... Maybe he doesn't care?

[Opinion Owner]

You aren't entitled to any congratulations. It is a courtesy, not required.

[nella965]

Well If the entire office is overjoyed except for you then that is considered a bit strange

[Opinion Owner]

Not really 🤷

[nella965]

Yes it is. Believe it or not , people notice that

[Opinion Owner]

You noticed it

As I said, it's a courtesy, not a requirement. And if the guy has no interest in you, why would he care if you're getting married?

Also, if you're getting married, why are you so hung up on what this other guy thinks?

[nella965]

Maybe I misread him. Maybe he still has interest in me which is why he’s the only one in the office not enthusiastic about my wedding

[Opinion Owner]

Then ask him

[nella965]

Yea every single one of my coworkers/ supervisors congratulated me with much enthusiasm. One supervisor began yelling/ cheering with excitement. the other one Supervisor rushed over to me to tell me how happy he is for me. I never expected that so many people would be so happy for me. It put a smile on all their faces.

Then there’s this one supervisor who knew I had a crush on him a year ago. But then I thought he was no longer interested in me so it doesn’t really make sense how he’s the only one that doesn’t seem to care

[COMMODOREII]

Who cares you are getting married.

[matthonker]

Means they’re jealous

[exitseven]

forget about it.