Is it bad I don't consider romantic life a priority?

Question

i suck at communication... that's a known fact.  If I ever get to the point of life when I want companionship, I'd casually date but I just consider relationship burdensome. Would it affect how you judge me as a person? My mom literally said she can't respect a person who dates for the hell of it. I'm that person. I've sexual needs and currently I've a spot open for fuck buddy... She said I need to "respect" myself.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

We'll see you're probably the only one who thinks your communication sucks I honestly don't see how that works because I look at all your questions and it wouldn't seem that you had any problem communicating here I have a question for you.. so how do I meet your communication anyway I mean does it really suck LOL sorry I had to go there I don't know how many people are on Gag but I would think there's enough people here if you wanted to practice your communication skills why don't you just send a message start communicating build up your confidence if you want you can start with me okay now that your question I don't think it's bad there's not a priority I think it becomes a priority when you feel it

Tstrbrainer · Accepted Answer

Nah, your private life is none of my business.  By the way, where do I file my resume?

AmandaYVR · Answer

To answer your topic question... no. It's fine, theoretically.

But taking such a firm and permanent stance on it usually indicates some other issues that the person doesn't want to talk about. So they come off as strong, independent, because those are more socially accepted, and sometimes respected or revered.

But to shirk all 'romantic' relationships is often about frustration, being fed up from past bad experiences, insecurity, stubbornness, not wanting to let anyone in. But a person who did that for many, many years would be missing out on a very substantial, and sometimes rewarding aspect of life. Not finding someone and learning to live with that is one thing. Shutting the door to it completely is another. I'd guess that person has intimacy issues.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I wouldn't judge you harshly but I do feel some sympathy for you. Relationships require work but the dividends paid form a good relationship are tremendous and you are missing out on all of that. Having a friend for a fun roll in the hay is nice but going to sleep with my arms around her and whispering "I love you" to her as I drift off makes it SO much better.

hannahjo022 · Answer

Yeah dating gets tiresome as you get older. I'm 30 years old and its hard to date and even find someone. Most people are married, engaged, and in a serious relationship. I don't even try to find someone anymore and dating just gets stressful at times. I had a guy who I met and gave him my number since he asked for it. Notice I was not even interested in dating and talking to him. He even notice and asked that I am not the type of dating. No I just don't bothered and go on with my life. Plus when you're single you can do anything you want and don't have to worry about putting whole effort into a relationship with someone who does not put any effort.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

The idea that you having sexual needs and getting them fulfilled is "disrespecting yourself" is ironically a viewpoint that is disrespectful to women. It paints women as sexual objects, rather than people with needs. That you are just an object for a man to use for sexual pleasure and the submissive or inferior person in the interaction.

I think it's much healthier to view yourself (or women in general) as equal to men and therefore equal partners in sex, not the one who is "getting disrespected" by intercourse.

I forget the name for this, but it's a sort of double standard. That if a man has sex with lots of people, then he is considered powerful, strong, etc, (good adjectives), but if a woman does the same, she is considered weak, insecure, etc (bad adjectives).
The way your mom thinks is old fashioned and sexist.

Screenwriter · Answer

I feel what your mom's talking about, but I find fuck buddies a real disappointment. But if that's where your head is at, that's what works for you for now.

I don't think it has anything to do with self respect. But, I do err toward the side of, men love to use women for sex and ignore them when they don't need sex. That IS the definition of a fuck buddy, I know. Maybe it should be a FRIEND you occasionally have sex with. Fuck Buddy is so dismissive.

And let's face it, you're at the beginning of your adult life AND your sexual experiences. As you get more experience, you'll be able to weigh these options more maturely and come to a conclusion. I don't think there are any conclusions to come to at age 20.

TurboKid · Answer

I actually think it's reasonable to take it easy and focus on good times and fun and good company when younger. It's when we're young that we get to go most on adventures. Yet I think it's worth putting emphasis on good company and good friends.

My most casual and most blatant sexual relationships were ones I'd happily erase if I could in hindsight. They were the closest that I guess we might call to "hook-ups". I had "flings" though and I was fine with those. They were romantic and great with good company and good times. They just had a timer on how long they could last, so that prevented any sort of deep commitment

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

You aren't breaking any laws so you should live your life as you see fit. I am however a little surprised at you saying you lack communication skills as you managed to articulate yourself quite well in text.

natured · Answer

I think there is nothing to judge here, it's your own choice, just like people that don't want to have kids and so on. Everyone should lead their life the way THEY LOVE IT, not the way SOCIETY LOVES IT.
Why do you have to force yourself to be miserable just because society wants it, it doesn't make sense... ENJOY EVERY PARTS OF IT

Sbily · Answer

As long as you state it and don't give wrong impression it is totally okey. It is a lot more practical. There is not much difference with playing game with friends to satisfy your fun needs. When topic becomes sex, people loose their rationality.
Personally I don't prefer that kind of relationship but it is totally okey and logical for a person who can handlit

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Not really, you are young and should be having fun. romance and relationships tend to tether us to one person for long periods. casual living life is great within limits lol. live life and have fun.

CreamySeed · Answer

Historically men were the benefactors in that kind of lifestyle because they could run away from an accidental bastard child whereas the woman would become impoverished and forever a single mother. Birth control has changed the dynamics a bit but you gotta use it correctly. Relationships are meant for family formation and jealous lovers.

Kaneki05 · Answer

No not bad. Just different. "Not every one appreciated that. but i wasn't for everyone."

kitkills · Answer

Everyone has their different priorities. You're not at fault for not wanting to be pinned down with one person, I'm the same. It's better to focus on your life than someone else's

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

It’s not bad at all but it’s very hard to be that kind of person and still have a serious boyfriend

Quidthonian · Answer

Nope, At 42 I haven't prioritised romantics yet. I am an introvert, and I need to be alone to recharge my internal batteries. I use self-service to take care of sexual needs.

CasaNorba · Answer

you sound like the twin sister I never had. but no is not bad at all, its a lot better than being stuck in toxic relationships

Dchrls78104 · Answer

I don't think so; in fact, romantic life isn't much of a priority for me, either.

Still-alive · Answer

nope not at all. you do you and fuck everyone who tells you you're doing it "wrong" :)

KrakenAttackin · Answer

This is called the "cock carousel" and your seat on the ride is assured.

dolemite89 · Answer

no ur 20, u shouldn’t take relationships seriously til uve accomplished what u want in life

the_sinner · Answer

No it’s not bad. It’s better to listen to a few tantrums at times than get out of our comfort zone.

Deathraider · Answer

It wouldn’t change how I think of you.

Mystery_World · Answer

That will work as long as you date good guys. Not being in relation is stress free.

slatyb · Answer

It's your life. No one else gets a vote.

Wise4myage · Answer

Its a personal decision and I would respect that.

anylolone · Answer

Nope, you chose your priorities.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

It's your life but honestly I'd be concerned

abhi75757 · Answer

Yes..

Is it bad I don't consider romantic life a priority?

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