Does it matter who suggests getting together in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I’ve started to see this guy and usually he’s the one initiating contact and texting me most of the times. I barely take the initiative. We’ve only been together 3 times and he was the one suggesting 2 of them. I’ve suggested the last one. I didn’t ask him out nor planned anything just said it’d be lovely to see him before I went on holiday but understood if he were busy and then he planned a day. We’ve been texting a lot lately and I’m back from holiday, however I gotta stay home for 10 days cause I’m quarantining. Should I do as I did last time and suggest something or wait for his call? I’m just asking cause we’re at that stage where we haven’t defined what we are exactly and I don’t wanna seem too eager nor feel I’m investing more than he is. So does it matter who suggests?

Updates

+1 y

Me and this guy aren’t in a relationship so I don’t wanna feel like I’m more interested or investing more than he is. If a girl starts taking the initiative to ask him out too many times I know some guys fall into the lazyness of never taking the initiative. They start taking the girl for granted so they don’t need to work for it and that if it weren’t for me making plans he wouldn’t either

[VIVANT]

But he’s investing more than you and it’s not making you lazy

I don’t like one person waiting for the other it’s controlling. I’m not saying he is trying to be controlling but you are encouraging a dynamic where you have to censor your natural actions to accommodate what you are convincing yourself is his natural proclivity. This is going to leave you questioning your every move and maje you neurotic and THAT will turn you both off. Just be yourself if you want to do something suggest it. If you want to know something ask it.

The right guy will appreciate yoir beung direct. The wrong guy will convince yourself that playing games is “ natural” I think it’s already unfair you feel you have to second guess yourself and ask this question.

You’re not hurting anyone by initiative stuff it makes you stronger in life every time you go after something even just a small thing. It is healthy. It’s one thing if you are unsure what you want but to know and squash yoir voice to appeal To what you imagine someone else wants... it’s a bad he bit to get in and hard to break. It’s a good sign you felt comfortable Initiating at least that other time. 😊

I hope you decide to continue to be authentic which takes courage but is most rewarding 💕💕

[aintnocandle]

It doesn’t matter at this stage. He’s either interested or not. Showing interest and asking to see someone is normal behavior when you’re into someone? People are so overly cautious nowadays. Just do what you want to do, don’t play games. They either like you and will continue seeing you or they won’t. Showing interest won’t scare the right person away.

[Anonymous]

My personal thoughts if it was me..."nor feel I'm investing more than he is", that's how I'd feel as him. "I'm putting way more into this than she is" would be my thoughts. To answer, EQUAL INTEREST needs to be show. It's a 2 way street. Women have this thing of texting first and appearing "desperate" and I don't know where you get it from but it's ridiculous! You MUST show some interest beyond just replying to his messages.

[Interstate]

It is time for you to take initiative and reach out next to offer an invitation. Even guys will have their breaking point by saying that they are sick of the one having to pick up the phone first to make contact. I'm one of them! If you enjoy spending time with him, show it by making suggestions. Guys appreciate that effort.

[rosemilk]

If you want to hang out then tell him and set something up... I never understood waiting around for people to contact me to hang out. I did that crap as a teen... It's a waste of time! It's best to be straightforward with your intentions 🌸

[TheorionMage]

What's of greater importance to you? Your pride?
... Or a shot for genuine companionship?

"A coward dies a million deaths; ... a brave Soul only ONCE!"

If per chance, you get rejected or 'ghosted'
pull up yer 'big girl' panties and welcome to TRUE 'Male Equality'~

[aliali8]

I'm sorry but if after three dates, sparks are still not flying between the both of you, then most likely you both are just forcing a relationship to happen. After three dates, you both should be excited to see each other again that it won't matter who texts first.

[MrCommodore]

No I don't think it matters who reaches out first.

Considering that he has initiated most of the previous times, it might be better for you to initiate this time to show him you are still interested.

[FlowerSeeds]

No you're not wrong if you feel like you want to hangout with him then you tell him, you don't have to leave things on his terms ever.

[FlutteringFeelings]

Go with the flow. If you’re on his mind you both will make an offer and it’s as if he’s reading your mind. It’s not about who does it first but during the early stages it’s best to give things time.

[Aleximorgan]

not at all. i hate the whole guy has to do everything cliche, if you know u are ready for it and so is he/she/them then take what you want dont wait for it

[shydude1991]

Exactly, women can be badass too

[Omario2049]

OMG I can believe these are the things girls worry about. Call the fucking guy and tell him u wanna change out and stop overthinking every God damn thing. It's not that serious. 👍🏽

[MyNameJames]

No it's dumb that as of now it's always expected of men to take care of that

[Vikkrram]

Go to my question what i have asked recently maybe you will get your answers...

[Unbeatable]

Your ego is too big, can't even be straight up. It's an iceberg waiting to wreck any relationship you think you might have in the future.

[Romeocuck]

I would love to see more initiative from my girl because it shows me how much she wants me

[Anonymous]

Tell him you'd love to see him once your quarantine is over.

[Opinion Owner]

Saw the update. At some point, we all outgrow playing games. If you like him, suggest meeting up. And if you don't want to suggest meeting up, then don't complain when he eventually disappears.

[Joshua0213]

No I wish my girl did more cause it makes me happy knowing she likes to come over

[2021biguy]

It doesn't matter if you both care about each other.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Typically girls break up, which means typically guys get in to the relationship

[Anonymous]

Shouldn't matter who but why do I get the feeling it's always going to be the guy normally

[Anonymous]

women's equality right? so suggest something. it takes pressure off the guy

[Opinion Owner]

if you don't want to ask him out then don't come on here asking complete strangers for advice and wasting our time bitch

[Tiptoetamm]

Ask him out make him feel special

[williamHD]

You like him suggest a meet up!

[Alyssa11]

I think that if he wanted to he would.

[Bee-Hatch]

No it doesn't, next question please

[Ninani]

Not in a healthy relationship.

[Anonymous]

I would love if girl takes initiative

[anylolone]

Nope. Not at all.