At 28 I've honestly given up on dating there any hope?

[Anonymous]

I feel like it's just engaged guys and weirdos after me

[btbc92]

Listen. There is no point in dating. And I could tell you this as somebody who never did, and at the seam in hearing what everybody's going through on this site and everywhere else, I wouldn't. Why? Because a lot of people don't understand what relationship is about and they don't want to get married, and a lot of people don't understand what marriage is, and this is the old big mess. You got to ask yourself why you putting your hope in men when you just need to be having your hope in Jesus? And in God. That is where your focus needs to be. The key here is knowing who you are, what kind of woman you want to be, understanding the decisions you made, and why you're attracting those kind of people. You keep going out to strangers instead of building relationships with other people. It is simply the basics of socialisation that you've learned when you were a child. If you was not socialize much, you going to struggle with the same socialisation problems when you're older. If you didn't make much friends growing up, you can still have the same problem as you get older. These things tend to be adaptive in your life, and you got to figure out what's going on.

It's not that it's hard to meet people unless you're living in a place where there's not much people. But it is hard to find compatible people. But if your focus is solely on the man's personality and the physical appearance, that's where your problem is. Otherwise you wouldn't be getting engage men and you wouldn't be getting creeps. Start with WHY do you want to be involved with a man. Why did you do so in the first place? What is your intentions with a man? What do you expect his attention should be about with you or any woman? That is where you need to start at. Start with the basics.

If you don't know things about yourself like standards, morals, principles, Etc, that's why you got problems. Until you understand yourself, you can't expect people to understand you. You can do some self journaling prompts like what's your favorite color, your favorite time of day, what was your best childhood memory, things like that. Start digging deeper get to know yourself. Once you start understanding self, once you start understanding your background, your family, your morals and beliefs off, then you can start getting towards that step. People care too much about getting sex as opposed to finding partners that are like-minded and compatible.

[Asker]

Right now I'm getting this engaged guy hitting me every so often like wtf man

[btbc92]

That man have no morals. The fact that he doesn't leave you alone says a lot about what kind of person he is which is another reason why I stay away from those kind of people. Simply put just ignore him. It's people like him that don't need to be married and is very sad because these women think they know these men as some men think they know the women, and they don't know and they end up getting married into a mistake. Its sad. Again just ignore him. When you don't feed it when you don't pay attention to it, that's when they have no choice but to leave you alone.

[Asker]

Yeah this one guy told me I had to do certain sexual videos like giving a guy a facial... like wtf what's 2tomg with guys

[Asker]

Wrong**

[btbc92]

That's why you stay away from pornography and you stay away from people who does dabble with it. Because that's what they think. And then that's how they treat you. It doesn't matter if you're married or not, you get yourself involved that kind of person is just going to be miserable. You don't have to do anything. You know yourself. The fact that they got to tell you how to do whatever shows where they got problems. Someone like that is just looking for benefits they will not be able to love you. The person who loves you would never degrade you that way.

[Asker]

Why is it every guy these days... they can clearly see that my Instagram is bit slutty becuase it's a freaking art account. I'm an interesting person but know guy listens

[btbc92]

If you're saying this is your lifestyle, that is why you have male problems. Do you think a good man wants a woman with a "bit slutty account" on Instagram? They will overall respect you but will avoid you and not date you. All your doing is attracting men who are about what you about. It's not an art account. It's exactly why those men only want sex. Because your account is just that, about whoredoms. It resonates with them.

[Asker]

Sorry I dont think my last message was clear. I do absolutely have no selfies or anything sluttly. Even in person I dont act like that.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Stop looking!
Sorry this is going to be a tad big long this is from personal experience.
I am 27, and suffered from heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak. The inconsistency from guys. The constant let down from guys who “seemed interested”. The emotional roller coaster from guys when they don’t text back or when you don’t hear from them days, weeks, months. The sadness and anxiety you get when you get ghosted, rejected, and cheated. All of this caused my heart to become cold, bitter, hopeless. I started to think that I was the problem and felt unlovable and guarded my heart to protect myself. This led to me becoming insecure, I started to overthink and over analyze, and question every guys motive. I stopped believing in love and gave up hope. Last year right before the pandemic, I developed a crush on someone, the guy was everything I thought I wanted in a guy. Tall, sweet, handsome, smart, funny, a guy everyone adorned. I thought he had a crush on me because he asked for my number and started to hangout with me more. I realize that he didn’t like me after I asked him to meet up in which he rejected me, nicely and respectfully. However we are still friends. I self-reflected during quarantine and noticed that I was so busy trying to catch guys attention or getting a boyfriend that I forgot I existed. I never fully accepted the single life and never appreciated my own privacy and life. I started living for me, enjoy my own company, paying attention to me and allow myself to become selfish with my time. If I wanted it I got it, if it didn’t help me grow I left it alone, if I didn’t like something I’ll speak my mind. I started to live for me and love myself.
But then…just as I started to enjoy my self, quarantine lifted and a guy, who I’ve known for years, came into my life unexpectedly and made me believe in love. He showers me with attention, understands my needs, and is pretty much the male version of me. He is the only guy that has made me a priority and invested time in our relationship. He is more reserved, funny, decisive, respectful, awkward. Nothing like the guys I’ve liked or dated before.
Soo yea there hope!
My best friends told me this that has helped me with my dating life:
Before you get into a new relationship, crush, or situationship ask your self these questions…
* Instead of asking “does he like me?” Say “do I like him?” (like genuinely like him don’t say yes because your lonely)
* Can I be myself, vulnerable, and comfortable around him?
* Do I have doubts about his interest and intentions?
* Does this person respect me and my boundaries?
* Do or could they help me grow as a person and can I see myself being in a relationship with them.
I hope this helps. Please don’t give up. Your guy is right around the corner, he just making sure he has his ducks in a row.

[Dchrls78104]

I too have given up on dating. But then again, I am "old" and I have definite beliefs, principles, standards, and values and very specific turnons and turnoffs; so that might make me a weirdo 😂😂.

[btbc92]

Your not a weirdo. NOR are you old. You just need to be around like-minded people. We are just one of the few nowadays. But you need to understand that this world is backwards and the word of God have already prophesied this is what it's going to be.

[Dchrls78104]

@btbc92 truly, and well said.

[Anonymous]

Wait longer, it will get worse

[Asker]

I know it will! But I'm not getting any luck

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah i know i hear ya, i have it same. But reading through comments i can see there are many guys either also saying the same, or they say that they are happy single because a woman will not bring anything valuable into the relationship at this point ( food for thoughts, maybe some personality upgrade would be needed)

[Asker]

It's not like I'm saying I dont have options I just dont feel anything with the guys talking with... just not all that attracted

[Opinion Owner]

Oh ok, I dont know then

[Asker]

It's ok one day something will come up

[Opinion Owner]

Yes true

[SwitchGirl]

Yes there is, keep hitting up guys