Would you go on a date with someone you met online if you didn't find them attractive? Should I give it a shot?

Question

We have the same religion. It's rare to find a guy close to my age and of the same religion where I'm from, and faith is an important component of compatibility to me. Looking at his recent pics, I don't find him attractive. He's average to me. His social media pics show that he was slimmer and handsome when he was younger. But his current ones show that he's gained a lot of weight. He's kinda chubby. Women, would you still give it a shot?

RichardCranium6201 · Accepted Answer

A quick glimse of me. In the past, honestly, i have tried online dating. Skeptical about it at first. But tried anyway. I'm a pretty good judge of character and can see b. s. a mile away. There are some weird people out there, and thankfully, I've never entertained 1. Moving on, the few women i have met up with, ended up being wonder people with whom I'm still friends with them. I'm currently in a rekindled relationship of 6 years. And happy.
So now, my opinion would be, FIRST, you bringing it up in conversation, shows there's a little interest there on your part. But are also skeptical about the situation. You shouldn't let religion get in the way of your happiness. I understand what role religion plays in people's lives, but once you find someone that makes you both happy, religion can be worked into the relationship.
If when he was younger and thinner, and now heavier, makes me think something happened in his life too cause him to be depressed. If this is the case, (hopefully not)
Then you'll have nothing to worry about. He'll lose some once you 2 get established.
Now, my advise. Don't ever try and look for love. When u look for love, your setting yourself up for disappointment. Love dont descriminate. Love don't care about race religion, age, looks, back rounds, none of that. You won't know how or where or when, it hits you. Love has its own time. Instead, look for fun. It'll change everything.

Battooot · Accepted Answer

I complain about this side of you women a lot. Can you please ALL stop judging someone's attractiveness from ONLY his pics? Stop judging a book by it's cover.

Do you not agree that the most attractive thing in a man is his confidence, charisma, wits, funny... etc? Can you see any of that in his pics? Hell No. So how are you already concluding he is not attractive?

Have you never met someone that on first impression you thought they were not attractive but then after you got to know them and saw their personality suddenly with time you noticed you find them so attractive?

Meet him. See his personality and how he conducts and holds himself. Then judge.

Sometimes people loook sooooo bad in pics and are so much better in real life. I know i AM. My pics are horrendous and they are all selfies and shit. In dating profiles i do absolutely horrible no one matches with me. But when i meet girls in person suddenly they want to marry me.

So please. Stop judging a person from their pics that dont show their personality nor confidence nor humor nor charisma nor how kind or respectful they are.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

You forgot to mention the most important thing: does he make you happy, or do you enjoy talking to him? Disregard his looks for a moment-

I'd go depending on if you enjoyed his company or not. If you genuinely like him as a person, then you have nothing to lose. It's just a date. Worse case, you'll end up as friends. Best case, you'll decide to keep seeing him.

Now on to his looks. You said he's gained weight and looks "average." You realize people can lose weight right? I'm not trying to be rude, just giving you a friendly piece of advice.
As someone that used to be overweight, I lost weight and am now fit and look decent. If he's motivated, he will probably lose weight. But that's not something you can force him to do; he has to want to do it on his own!

With that being said, I think you should give him a chance. Not because of your religion, location, or appearance. But to see how you feel about him in person and are you compatible. Either you'll want to see him again or you won't- if it is the latter, at the end of the date, politely tell him you had a nice time, but you don't feel a connection with him.

JustAnj · Accepted Answer

It's up to you if you think it's worth your time. He won't be missing out on anything if your not interested and you won't either.

You seem like your unsure cause you don't want to miss the opportunity of finding out if he would be more emotionally attractive which is what really keeps couples together. Physical fades, but you have to ask yourself if him being overweight is a killer overall for a relationship.

Example: you got with a guy fell in love he was hot then gained weight so even though you also loved him he was no longer attractive to you.

Are you going to dump him?

This is the question all people should ask before getting serious to if it's yes I would suggest you keep testing the waters until you feel like you found someone you could love at any size and find attractive at any size.

Marriage is not easy if your not open to growth and living in a world that ages instead of thinking you will always be in your best shape. Things do happen to people.

Either way you gotta make the choice.

HawkPerception · Answer

There was an overweight girl I didn't really find attractive, but she was interested in me so I gave it a shot. It helped that she initially mentioned that she was on a keto diet and lost 50 lbs in 3 months. I respect anyone trying to at least make an effort to lose weight. When I did give it a chance, I ended up not having chemistry. But the point is, I was not attracted and still gave it a shot. You never know... they could have an incredible personality and you fall for them, then you slowly become more physically attracted.

Lionman95 · Answer

I´d try it because if he was a girl to get to see if she was offline the same kind of character as online. From my experience many people are often times online meaner or less caring than they are offline. So I´d give it a shot without expecting much of it. I´d also try to get to know what made her gain weight because if it was a rejection that something that could be easier changed than an addiction or something genetical.
Because I´m not the most handsome guy myself I´ve learned to judge people less on what they look like.

Explorer91 · Answer

well it’s unclear. You say he is average and you say you aren’t attracted to him. Someone can be average but you find them attractive even when others don’t, but it seems this is not the case.
No, I would suggest finding someone else.
there are heaps of people out there that you can have a lot in common with. They are called your friends. The difference between a friend and a romantic interest. Is well your not physically attracted to your friends.
Just my thoughts
Find someone whose “look” you like. They can still be average looking but at least a bit more your type

Hairylegs222 · Answer

I've already been there, done that. I no longer date overweight women. I had 2 relationships with overweight women. Our personalities clicked well but I couldn't get over her appearance and it bothered me too much. It also bothered me a lot how lazy they were taking care of themselves when I try hard everyday taking care of my body. It felt unfair as well. I initially thought sexual attraction wasn't that important, but I was wrong.

This is me though and my experience, everyone is different.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should give it a shot. It's one date... a mere hour or two of your life. If you have a horrible time, there doesn't have to be a second date. But what if you go and you two totally hit it off?

I met my boyfriend online. I didn't find him super attractive in his pictures, but I could also tell he didn't really seem like the picture-taking type. We had so much fun talking and texting, and when he asked to meet me a week later, I agreed. We met up for coffee (intended to be short, just in case), but then decided to go to lunch too. We had the best time! Sat and talked nonstop for 5 hours, ate lunch, shared desserts. Neither of us wanted to leave. We've been inseparable ever since (1.5 years. later). Can you imagine if I'd never gone on that date just because of his pictures? I would've missed out on my favorite person in the whole world.

Anonymous · Answer

First, I would not go on a date with anyone I met online... I don't care if they are portraying themselves to be attractive or not. All the women I have ever dated, I have met in person... period. I have no clue how anyone could possibly just go out with someone you have never met in person and only through a system that is easily exploitable to make you believe they are someone entirely different.

However, I'm certain that if that is the only method that you can actually attract and meet other people... wuteva. Go do your odd taking a chance on dating some serial killer, and I will remain glad that I never had to risk meeting others online to find a date. I seriously don't get you all, there are so many people like everywhere... Ya just have to actually start talking to them...

I'm sorry, but I just find trying to hold a conversation through texting as so lame.

Anonymous · Answer

Do you find him unattractive, or just eh? If there's something there, like he doesn't repulse you, then I say meet him at least, you never know. The attraction could grow over time as you get to know him. I dated a woman like that, I had no physical attraction to her, but personality wise and everything, we got along great! We had a few dates, and things can definitely change or become more clear for you once you meet. In my case, nothing changed and I didn't think it was fair for either of us to continue so I ended it, but I think you should at least meet once if you like him otherwise and just see.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Go out, have fun, meet new people. You never know.
if you go, you can stop wondering. If you don’t, you would still wonder if you should have.
also, keep an open mind, looks will fade.
if he and you can work out together, eat healthy food... that’s part of life’s enjoyment. good luck

muscularbumblebee · Answer

I wouldn’t if I were you, only because I made the same mistake before of thinking they might look better in person and usually it’s the opposite that’s true. If religion is the main issue I’d say wait for the right one, if you aren’t physically attracted to someone it can only go so far

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Guys have bad pictures in their profiles.. give him a chance.. what do you have to lose? Have everything to gain if you dont have any feelings for him after 2 months of knowing hin in person let him know he's not the one for you. You think he's great but you are looking for someone else. Wish him all the best. Tell him he's great will make someone else really happy you two just aren't a match.. but you guys can be friends.

Emmaraghavs · Answer

Well... When I'm in your situation.. I'll go for date with him... Because as u said.. When u from a community which give extreme importance to your own faith... You might find difficult in a arranged marriage... In ordrto avoid such issues.. I'll try him... I'll explore people.. Whether we both end up or not.. It might be useful for me understand about men better... If things works out... You can move forward...

As u mentioned.. His physical appearance is not much attractive... Believe me we can modify it😉😉 and life doesn't reliey only on that... You might find high compatibility with him... Possibilities are high dear.. I suggest you to go for date with him.. And don't stress about it... Make sure that.. Everything is in your control ( I mean.. Ur emotions, ur decisions)

Finchie40 · Answer

If you aren’t attracted to him , then it’s probably a waste of time , you can’t really force yourself to be attracted to someone , you will be missing out on someone that you are actually attracted to settling for a guy that just has things in common with you , just stay his friend but don’t go any further , you will just be wasting your time and his

hamzaelll · Answer

Since you are here asking about it, i guess that other than looks you don’t have other complaints. I think you could go out with him, but not on a date. Just go for coffee or something light and quick. Because most of the time guys are better looking in person.

boombastik · Answer

Yes, a date doesn't have to be romantic but I suggest telling him you aren't looking for anything but friendship but would like to keep your options open. That would only be right instead of leading him on and you never know, you might hit it off and then you can always take things further.

Jlegacy · Answer

The world is too concerned about the physical. Even Jesus according to Isaiah 53 came with an undesirable look yet He is the richest, baddest boy the world has ever seen and the best heart you can find and His love is the peak of love. Dates are not marriages. Why not go on the date and since tou are a personality addict, let a close look on his personality inform your next decision.

Anonymous · Answer

No as much as a persons personality is important, whether you're attracted to them is too. Because how would you expect to get physical and eventually have sex with a person you don't find attractive. It's not fair to you or him so I'd just dump him if I were you, he'll be fine.

ColoradoKid · Answer

If I was in your position and the person was female I would go on a date with them. How are you to get to know what they are like until you do? Sure you can get a glimpse of thier personality by chatting with them online. This person may not be the eye candy you want and have a heart of gold.

I have found that most women who are really good looking are not so good looking on the inside.

pleasestopthis · Answer

Physical appearance isn't the most important thing in my opinion. A guy could be handsome but that alone won't be enough to keep a nurturing loving relationship. You could hang out with him to see if you have more things in common apart from religion, and talk to him so you can get to know him better.

SuhRaw · Answer

Yes I would. If you have faith then you really shouldn't be bothered by his looks because the faith he has and his other qualities should make you more attracted to him as a person and in turn you would be more attracted to him more as time goes on. You'll be fine as long as you begin to see for who he is not what he looks like.

Floppy2112 · Answer

I wouldn't. That kind of has to be there. Some sort of attraction, if there is no attraction your likely not going to grow attracted later. Especially from online crap. You cannot possibly be in a position where your willing to date a person you have no attraction for, are you?

ToastyOats · Answer

I read a statistic before that the Average woman will turn down hundreds or even thousands of guys in her younger single years. Do women think all those guys are below Average!🤔 probably not.
The complexity of compatibility is becoming
a problem. From my experience, the women who are preaching the most diversity, inclusion and tolerance are the ones who demand most, that you must agree with them on almost everything they believe down to what Music or TV to watch.

m33lad · Answer

I would say for a girl a guys face average doesn’t matter but if you fit he must be fit too. because remember a strong mind with faith in God cannot survive in a weak body as the Bible said our bodies are a temple and also remember dating a guy around your age is probably not ideal that’s why most girls date guys five 10/15 years older.

jamiematt · Answer

Please take into account the recent lockdowns, mental pressure on everyone (including you). I've become a chubby guy and i was actually literally thin before covid. So kindly do not rule him out only on his fatness. Trust me, after this epidemic ends Im going to run half marathon, play cricket, soccer, badminton, cycle with friends. I've learnt the umportance of socializing and playing sports. Does he like sports? Does he like roming, walking, travelling?

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

Yes I would. Weight can always be lost. The once thing my boyfriend loves about me is that I thought he was still sexy as ever even at his worst looking when I first met him. He was doing the quarantine haircut thing at the time

Anonymous · Answer

Religious girl life is so sad. ( probably Muslim, Catholic, Hindu) You have to settle with someone who’s not attractive to you or you are all alone with your parents.

As you asked what would i do, i would never do that. I should like a man compeletely

Siren777 · Answer

No. I have to be physically attracted to him to continue to date. It's my preference. I wouldn't suggest you waste your time nor his. You will find a better match and let him find his.

cth96190 · Answer

No sane man will go on a date with a female who he does not find to be sexually desirable.
If the males does not fancy the female, he will not be motivated to make an approach, or invest time and money in courting the female.

ArztSchlachthof · Answer

Tried it once - one of the bigger mistakes in my life. Taught me a valuable lesson - when it's not there at first, don't seek it out.

Avicenna · Answer

I think you should go on the date. If nothing else, you have a fun time and hopefully some interesting conversation.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Am I being too inquisitive asking what religion you are? given that you say it's rare to find someone that shares yours?

AlexanderAnttila · Answer

Generally I do not engage in online dating unless it's under special circumstances. I prefer to find love IRL.

Zelda_5 · Answer

If you think it could work go for it. If it doesn't, then end it. You might as well try.

Aquariusmystery · Answer

Give him a chance. Sometimes they’re completely different in person. Their personality shines through more

Medlife · Answer

I wouldn't. If I am not attracted it's a waste of time.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Yea give it a shot. You never know who you'll like. Looks can be gained if u like their personality

okayk · Answer

Don't try it. I did, and trust me you'll just feel repulsed the whole time.

Alejandro3000 · Answer

Don't date him unless he shows he's looking after his weight. I am I've lost a stone and my tummy fat is going down to flat again.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

It depends on what I don't find attractive about them.

I_want_a_moustache · Answer

I'd go for it. This isn't the best example but, I find all my friends at least a little bit sexy because personality and how well you get along with someone makes them become more attractive.

pink_and_inlove · Answer

Yeah I would but I would keep my guard up because I feel like it’s always the ugly guys that end up hurting you badly lol

Mustermann · Answer

You say he's average, if that's correct then sure, give it a try. If you find him repulsive, then maybe not.

lazermazer · Answer

First thing first, pics lie.  Second, if you're Hindu, arranged is still viable option. Third what if he rejects you? Have your checked rankings in the game?

Anonymous · Answer

you said he was average. not ugly. so what's holding you back? this isn't that great of an excuse. it's a date... not a marriage proposal.

rcljr · Answer

Beauty only goes skin deep, ugly goes all the way to the bone, ugly attitude that is.

Ceslovas · Answer

No. What is a point then... unless they have good personality (i enjoy the way she thinks-thoughts process) Otherwise it is not worth it...

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I would give her a shot. One date. But if I didn't find her attractive after one date then I wouldn't continue to date her.

Wise4myage · Answer

No, I wouldn't see the point in doing that because it would be a waste of time for both me and the girl.

Luopio27 · Answer

I have because I forgot to read all the details of the date site profile of hers. I agreed before it was too awkward to pull out.

Better_off_here · Answer

i would not trust anyone online to be honest with you nor would i choose to meet them in person, sorry but online dates do not turn out well at all at least from what i have seen.

DiegoO · Answer

Why would you date someone you don't find attractive?

nickaboy · Answer

No, It is Just leading them on. I would However hang out with them but make clear there is no romantic interest

najekim · Answer

Looks are down on the list. Top two things has to be personality and the chemistry between the two of you.

Ryfyle · Answer

Yeah. Then again I'm down for anything that breaks from my current routine. In fact, I could really use a distraction from my everyday nightmare.

FamilyGuy2020 · Answer

Even though I am 56Yo I would still go on a date with you at your choosing of course even at a church BBQ , Jim

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't do it, it's hard enough matching up with people you meet in real life.

Caunsos · Answer

If we just talking physical attraction or attraction in general.

Unicorn_lover_2002 · Answer

Its not always about looks, get to know their personality and likes

crazy8000 · Answer

Depends on why I'm not attracted to that person in question.

lpoots · Answer

if you dont find him attractive  why waste  his time and yours  get to know him first  dont rush it as it is not fair on him

Anonymous · Answer

This sort of thing seems to work out better for girls than for guys. I would never go on a date with someone I wasn't VERY physically attracted to.

Would you go on a date with someone you met online if you didn't find them attractive? Should I give it a shot?

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