Are dating apps a waste of time and money for 80% of men?

[Lj0011]

Do you think dating apps are a waste of time for most men? as women clearly have an advantage when it comes to dating.

[dhinchak]

If a guy or woman were good enough, they wouldn't need dating apps tbh.

The apps are trash and below are the reasons why they don't work out:

In case of guys,

1. Nice guys who are average looking or below, have more chances at hitting it off in the real world because their pics would never attract a girl. Although I understand that they need to do a lot of work on a single girl just to get her interested, let alone dating, I still believe real world is the way to go for them.

2. Good looking nice guys would hit it off more often in the real world, so they wouldn't need dating apps. The same logic goes for good-looking and average looking women.

3. Good looking guys who are not nice are the only ones who would need to be and succeed on a dating app because of their pics, but that again is not going to work for the women they match with, just like in the real world.

In case of women, the ones with below average looks need to be on a dating app as they don't hit it off that easily in the real world, but since they wouldn't swipe on a nice average/below average looking guy, they're gonna match with the bad ones and come back with some bad stories of online dating like men who just want sex, or men who are narcissistic, etc.

Other women (also covered in point no. 2 above) are mostly there to increase their social media followers, so they're not keen on matching anyway.

[Qdbrown]

If any guy thinks he is using dating apps to his advantage, is an idiot. They are being extremely exploited. I am talking to the women who run online.

Sure, there is a small percentage of guys who are getting some serious action. But they are being sought after by many women. It's not widely known, but these women just on the outside will do dispictable things to mess up all the other girls vying for the gravy train dude. It's amazing how wicked people are, when they get desparate.

As for the other lucky ones, you will be prospected. They are not really looking for big d dude. They don't mind the experience, but women naturally graviate to guys who they are comfortable with and they perceive can care and defend. A woman will pick an ugly fat old dude if she feels really safe with the guy over a fickle low earning heartthrobe.
Most average to less should not waste their time with online dating. There is like 2,000 guys for every one real girl. The numbers are just not there for you. There are better ways to spend your time.

[sagevalentineee]

Well it's up to how you use it. I have a tinder profile, I put a long bio and my instagram username at the bottom. I'm not active though I never check it. My now boyfriend is probably the only person who looked long and attentively enough to find the username and message me on instagram. We went on a drinks date the next week and and also had sex on the first date.

He got me pretty good if you ask me - and I that's because he targeted me. Tinder (and other dating apps) encourage you to go through high volume, swiping on a lot of people, which is fine. But to be honest it's much better to persist on one person that you're really into. Trying to do a maximum and messaging 30 girls at once is super ineffective.

Of course improving yourself in other ways is going to help, you know, making yourself desirable by having the right skills and attributes etc.

Also I recommend a direct approach so she know what she's getting for example the:
Hey
Hey
what r u on this app for?
Like please no.

This is what he said to me:

Hey ___ sorry for sliding into your Dms so randomly but I saw your profile on tin and would like to take you out for a drink. Are you located in ___?

Simple, direct, I got the message, we met up and had a blast.

[K-I-S-S]

Glad he followed rules nr 1 and 2.

Glad he got lucky and found a decent woman who liked him back. Very rare, most of the time online dating is really hard for guys.

[Levin]

Be bold, be direct, be unapologetic. If you want that sweet pussy.

However, the well adjusted and independent just do what they do on apps the same as in real life. The men that are hopeless on apps are also hopeless in real life.

[Qdbrown]

You're interpretting from a woman's point of view. Not many women have to work hard to meet guys. You're lucky if you get any response from the 200 or so girls you wasted your swiping or sending likes.

[sagevalentineee]

@Levin Well said!

[Xoxocutekitty]

If 80% of men are using dating apps incorrectly, then probably they are a waste of time?

The great part of being a man in the dating world is that you get to decide who is attractive, then you can pursue them openly, assertively, and on your timeline.

If you want a traditional relationship, you can model that for her in how you talk to her, how you suggest or plan a first date, and how you of course treat her. Traditional women wanting a man to treat them a certain way, often cannot articulate 'I want a man to open doors for me, fully accepting a cook/clean tradeoff" without coming off as entitled as a first impression.

Men on dating apps, modern or traditional, often fall into the trap of taking any option, and then realizing they don't actually want the option for reasons that easily could have been avoided (she's too chubby, too tall, her face is meh etc).

Men as the active pursuer or even as the active reciprocator, should be more discretionary about who they want to invest their time in.

So yes, if you Swipe right indiscriminately and actively pursue people you don't find attractive, then yes you are using dating apps wrong and should duck out.

[CasaNorba]

women are the ones who use it incorrectly. try telling a woman who uses tinder that the app is used for hooking up

[OlderAndWiser]

What advantage do women have in dating?

I can't speak for anyone else but my own experience with dating sites was very positive. I used them in 2007-2008, 2005, 2017-2018, and in 2020. Every time, I met some quality women and eventually settled with one into a long term relationship.

[waynezaz]

Why would a guy spend money on it if he can spend the money on making him better? Be it better looking, better shaped, better intelligence, etc. Spending money on a dating app doesn't mean you're gonna get laid. You still are the same person. You need to improve everyday to become a better person, then you'll get noticed no need to spend money on an app for that.
As per the question about 20% of men are doing it (spending money, effort and time on themselves) to make them better than before.
So for the 80% of men need to adjust their lens and focus on what's more important.

[JustinTimberlegs]

If you're looking for hookups then yeah, women probably have an advantage, but for relationships I think it's equally bad for everyone, just in different ways.

It's harder for guys to get matches because of there's so many more guys competing for attention.

It's worse for girls because of the amount of creeps and stalkers and assholes and guys looking to get laid.

It's like if a guy got one date a month, but it would most likely be average vs. a female getting 10 dates a month, one is average and 9 are bad.

Then they also have to deal with guys that are creepy, like randomly turn up at their house or work or class and have their entire schedule memorised.

It just sucks for most people I think, not just guys.

[Novacane]

Yes, 100% of women love saying that it depends on how you use it but let's be honest as a man it doesn't matter how you use it if you are not good looking enough most of those women will not even pay attention to you. It is also statistically proven that way men rate women are more disperse vs the way women rate men. A man will be open to talking to someone they consider a 5-10 but for a woman, if you are not a 9 or 10 they don't won't even bother with you. Women are the gatekeepers to sex so in the end, they get to decide who can and who can't talk to them, and they will most likely always choose the 6ft+ guy with money and that's how it is. So as a man you either get your game up or your money up, women don't really have to do anything.

[Lionman95]

I´d say yes because you´re judged by your looks no matter what you write in your bio. Because there are things that many people have commonly written there it´s of no real use.
Because many guys have written the same in there as you and have mistreated women anyways most women won´t be believe when you write such qualities as loyal/patient in there.
As long as you´re not rich have at least a well paid job don´t even try.
I don´t know how it is where you come from but I happened to communicate on dating apps often time with fake profiles that were installed to give the business going where people that weren´t interested in dating where paid to play a role of dating interested young woman.
So read the terms of service because many dating plattforms could use such bots.
Alltogether online dating is a highly costing waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Yes, because as a man even the tiniest flaw could break your chances on a dating app. The best way to illustrate this point is to look at the common standard of “only 6’+ men are allowed to pursue me.” Already that’s cutting out 85% of the male population if you live in the US… and let’s be honest, most men over 6’ don’t have to resort to using dating apps. Beyond that, is the man ugly? Does he have a small dick? Is his nose too big, too small, or does he have some other flaw? Very few men fit all of these standards, so if you’re one of those men dating apps will absolutely not be a waste of time. But yes, I’d say for at least 80% of men, dating apps are a waste of time.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

The biggest mistake people make is that they think in terms of what they are looking for or want rather than being what others are looking for.

Figure out what you have to offer, then figure out which site is most likely to have people looking for what you offer. If you are one of the people just looking for something, then you will see little to no success. If you are what other people are looking for, then success is just easy.

[Anonymous]

Not all women have an advantage----just like men on these apps, you're basically being judged about 95%+ on your looks at first so if you don't have 'the look,' odds are man or woman, you're getting passed over. I just don't think it's the best idea to do the app thing over a real interaction with someone at first, but it does work for some people. Sometimes it's luck, sometimes it's persistence, sometimes it's lightening in a bottle.

[MrNameless]

women just have to be at least average to get matches. And even then, they get more matches or at least just as much at the top 10% of men

[Opinion Owner]

@MrNameless I get that, but ugly is ugly and below average is below average whether you're man or a woman so I'm pretty sure those that fall in that category who are trying just as hard as everyone else on the planet to get dates feel the same way men do because it's very superficial. If you don't have the look, no on will even talk to you.

[ToastyOats]

Definitely a waste of money! Any woman that would expect a man to give money to a corrupt company to run a dating service is very short sighted and selfish. Job searches like indeed, dating services, video hosting (you tube) and all published college papers should be available to the public for free in their most accessible formats. A national socialist government would make this a top priority!

[LeeannaDD]

I didn't realize unsolicited dick pics were an advantage... maybe if 80% of men didn't treat them like they are ordering a prostitute and people are solely their for sex

[nickaboy]

It is impossible to send those if you never get matches.

Or when you allready get deleted when you have a match pops up
🤷🏻‍♂️

Those People sending those dickpics must be in 20% cause we 80% don't get matches

[LeeannaDD]

Not all dating apps work like tinder lmao. Which if we're being honest is a hook uo app not dating.

[nickaboy]

I Have used , bumble, badoo, happn, and some other one badoo is the only one where dickpics are possible I give u that one but thats it.

So if we cancel out badoo it is impossible. For 80% and trust me when you get 0 matches for a long time and then finally get one and it is an actual woman than you are not willing to risk it with a dickpic

[LeeannaDD]

It's not impossible. Never heard of plenty of fish? Also it doesn't have to come from the app itself. Had a lot of guys follow my social media and do it there

[nickaboy]

Yeah I never get why Girls put socials in their bio

[LeeannaDD]

Trust me I learned quick but once they get your name and pic they can find you pretty easy

[nickaboy]

Yeah Iknow, in It class 3 years ago we challenged eachother to find the socials of a speaker we only knew her last name nothing else

The first one found it in 2 minutes
For us it was Just games so we didn't do shit with it Just wanted to test the algoritm of Facebook

[VanillaSalt]

Why are you bitching about duck pics… any intelligent person realizes it’s an instant for sure no and you can shorten the relationship to one pic…

[VanillaSalt]

Btw… I’m tired of being invited to women’s cams/Instagram/only fans… it’s the male version of a duck pic. And we have to pay for it. You drop $5 on tinder for what we pay $15 for. Girls get in clubs free so we ha e to pay to get in and get drinks.

Instead of pointing out how your a fucking victim try pointing out our advantages if you have to make the argument.

[oddwaffle]

Yes.

You either have no money and should look for work or have too much money and women will fly to you. If you are some middling dude with some money but not enough for a good life then you are just waiting to get scammed by these companies.

[Avicenna]

They are a waste for younger men, especially because of the endemic hypergamy most younger women on these apps are notorious for. For guys in their 40s and older, it probably works better.

[Astarlessnightsky]

No, the chance are probably the same to meet a women, but at least you can get rejected in the comfort of your own home.

[Adam1978]

Yeah but without the ability to read the woman and learn from it.

[Astarlessnightsky]

But with the ability to actually talk to strangers, so its quite balanced.

[Adam1978]

What stops you from talking to strangers? You should say talk to strangers in private because the world will see your interactions in real life. If that is what you are afraid off.

[godfatherfan]

Nope. I don't know about young people, but it is the only way I would ever be able to meet anyone. I work from home, on midnight's. I don't go to church and I don't belong to any clubs.

[Anonymous]

Go after girls in real life. They are so overwhelmed getting hit up online all the time it will be a breath of fresh air to talk to a real guy for her. Don't hit on her unless there's instant chemistry where you practically jump on each other. Just friendly conversation to start.

[jshm2]

To be honest. They are actually chat apps and hookup apps, rather than "dating apps".

They put themselves down as that only so they fall the right side of various laws.

[DJB72]

I met my wife on one 20 years ago so no, I don't think they're a waste. Unless you're just looking for a quick fuck, in which case you're the waste, not the site...

[Adam1978]

Certainly a waste of money, most likely you will spend more time for less result then if you actually went out in real life.

[kyleelyn199723]

I think it’s no different than having Instagram or Facebook. You meet new people on there and have a chance of hitting it off with someone.

[LoveIsFake]

Only women have chances of meeting someone on dating apps. Y'all match every time, guys get no matches

[kyleelyn199723]

That makes no sense because most dating apps the matching needs to be mutual. The girl and the guy must both match each other

[LoveIsFake]

Yeah but what I'm saying is girls will match with one guy after the next like one after another. Guys dont get any matches one after another. It's probably just 1 match in a day. A girl could get 20

[kyleelyn199723]

Why do men not go after that one match though? It’s that ratio usually because more men are on dating apps typically than women are

[LoveIsFake]

We do but we really don't know how to make things happen or y'all just stop texting us because y'all look for dudes who are supposed to be like kings at fucking texting and shit. A lot of men are in dating apps because they struggle to match with women in real life so they go to online dating and even there it's difficult. It doesn't really matter for a woman. A woman can match with any guy and get any match. Guys can't that's what I'm trying to say

[kyleelyn199723]

I think the big problem with dating apps, is they mask you of who you actually are as a person. So if you struggle in real life, reality is going to hit once you are off that app.

[LoveIsFake]

Basically dating apps are only for looks. I think most people in dating apps already know they struggling lol *haugh* me 🤣

[kyleelyn199723]

I mean why settle for someone you aren’t attracted to? I think people just think things magically change because they are on a dating app. If you are pretending to have confidence and stuff that actually attracts women, when you don’t , reality is going to hit and you are going to be left high and dry

[LoveIsFake]

Exactly why I don't date 🤣 I don't even consider myself attractive so I know any girl will leave me for any good looking dude that comes her way. Anyways I don't fake my confidence since I really have none. But that's fine by me. I've past a point of not giving a shit

[kyleelyn199723]

Why would you want a girl to date you that isn’t attracted to you? Just curious. That should go the same for you. Why would you date someone that you aren’t attracted to? Maybe work on your confidence. You are who you present yourself as

[LoveIsFake]

Well I wouldn't know if a girl I date finds me attractive or if she's after something else. A woman can always lie to you and tell you she likes you and not mean it and you fall for it. I've tried to work on my confidence but when you've had zero luck with girls and dating it's almost impossible to have confidence in yourself. Especially with women. I've basically always received the same outcome

[Chthou95]

@LoveIsFake Unfortunately dude most girls are going to give you bullshit responses or not be completely honest. This is why you gotta with the red pill approach. None of this blue pilled shit you were taught growing up. So if you want to have any kind of success, you gotta hit the gym. Work your ass off in the gym for a while & then work on your confidence which takes time too. After that make sure you have a job and are making a decent amount of money. Money does attract women to a cetrain extent even when they tell you it doesn't. These things are what you really need to attract women

[kyleelyn199723]

@Chthou95 I think my response was pretty honest 😊

[kyleelyn199723]

@LoveIsFake a girl can sense confidence a mile away. If a man isn’t confident, chances are she’s going to be scared to reject if she just isn’t interested

[Chthou95]

I gave him the advice he needed to hear though. Girls give shit advice and it won't help

[kyleelyn199723]

I literally gave him the same exact advice you just gave in different words lol

[Chthou95]

You told him to just work on his confidence. Confidence alone isn't going to do jack shit. The most important thing for him to work on right now is his physique and money

[kyleelyn199723]

Confidence comes with bettering yourself. So yes essentially when I say build your confidence that means exactly do shit that can build your confidence up. Nobody looks in the mirror and says “I’m not ugly” and feels automatically better about themselves

[kyleelyn199723]

It’s not money, it’s the drive to work and provide. There’s men in successful relationships that make $60,000 a year 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think my boyfriend being a hard working man is sexy

[Chthou95]

You have to separate the two. You can't just work on your confidence and boom things will get better. He has to work on the very thing that's truly holding him back & that's his looks. He's gotta work on that & then with that comes the confidence. And as much as women would say money doesn't matter, it does. Women to a certain extent are hypergamous & man is the financial provider in the relationship most of the time. So yeah my advise for any guy out there is work on your looks & money

[MCheetah]

@kyleelyn199723
Almost all the women are going after the top tiny percentage of males on there, meaning the women who don't get the Chads whine that "they can't find anyone," and the men who are less than a 9/10 end up wasting their time and feeling like sh*t afterwards.

[MCheetah]

@Chthou95
All of that may be completely true, but honestly, most women on the planet aren't worth that effort and the hundreds of hours of your life you won't get back. If that's what it takes to get an average boring woman nowadays, I'm better off alone. The advice is true, but don't do it for women. Do all that stuff for yourself and yourself alone. IF a woman would only like you after all of that, then she's not worth your time anyway.

[kyleelyn199723]

@MCheetah the problem is, is that men feel like they can possibly pretend to be something they aren’t on places like tinder so they can attractive someone as high as an 8 when they are a 4-5 at best. Why not accept the 1 a day match and see if that goes anywhere? Why? Because she isn’t an 8?

[Chthou95]

You do know that women are more pickier than men especially online right? They did a study and found that 80% of men are unattractive and only the top 20% of men are being chased

[Chthou95]

@MCheetah Yeah i should have said that at the end of the day, do all of that for you. No one else

[kyleelyn199723]

I think some men just have a warped sense on who they can pick up and they try to pick up what an 8 can pick up.

[MCheetah]

@kyleelyn199723
Most men don't even get one a f*cking day! Even THAT is high! Most men, like 5s and 6s, are getting 1 match every two to three months, if they're lucky! And that's the desperate men who will swipe right on anyone. Women are THAT picky on dating apps. Men who are getting 1 match a day are 8s and higher.

[kyleelyn199723]

@Mcheetah that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever seen. Lol if a man is getting less than one match a day, then he is matching with too many women he has no chance getting. Be realistic. Stop clicking on women that have the capability of getting an 8. Why? Because like you said before they are more likely to click on the 8. Why shouldn’t they click on the 8 ?

[Chthou95]

Most men don't just chase 8s or 9s. They chase after all kinds of women. Women seem to be the one with a specific preference. And even average looking women don't want average looking men. Women want to date higher. Men are okay with anything, women need a certain kind of guy

[Chthou95]

And i can show you a graph that shows women think 80% of men are unattractive. Mind you these guys are probably just average looking but it's still not enough

[LoveIsFake]

@Chthou95 I actually have an athletic lean build and go to gym very often. Anyways having a good body doesn't mean you'll be confident. I'm extremely fit and have no confidence. I was mainly talking about face looks. Then I'm also not tall so. About the money thing, I make a good amount with a normal job of 18 and hour. I definitely don't want a career so I'm actually in process of making a business. Even then though if I have money it'll only atract gold diggers

[Chthou95]

@LoveIsFake It helps though. It definitely helps and like i said work on your confidence and social skills. Itll take some time and you will fail a lot but be persistent and don't give up

[MCheetah]

@kyleelyn199723
You don't have to believe it. But you're not a man, this problem will never affect you, and you ultimately (from what i can tell) don't care about it, so what you choose to believe or dismiss is irrelevant.

If it was just a matter of persistence, then every man would have a woman by now. You are trying to apply female logic (being picky, having ridiculously high standards, dismissing viable options, etc) to men and it makes your argument sound foolish, given most people know men don't operate like that. Not even attractive men.

And yes, most women find most men to be undateable.

[kyleelyn199723]

If it doesn’t work for you then man up and pursue in person , problem solved

[Chthou95]

Yeah that's what he should do. Dating will always be easier for women so of course they never going to understand

[kyleelyn199723]

I mean with some of you men there’s no solution to shit. 🤷🏻‍♀️ bitch if there’s a solution, bitch if you don’t want to accept any solution

[Chthou95]

I already given him the solution. As long as he doesn't folow blue pilled shit said by women, he'll be okay

[kyleelyn199723]

You gave him the exact same advice as I did in a more detailed way lmao 🤷🏻‍♀️ so boo hoo for copying my advice and then acting as if a man is the one that created that one.

[Chthou95]

Again no you didn't lol. You just mentioned confidence. I mentioned looks, money and confidence. My advice is more valuable because i don't sugar code shit

[kyleelyn199723]

Confidence is one category for all of the above. Also a man doesn’t need lots money, he needs good work ethic. “Your advice is more valuable “ who are you to determine who’s advice is more valuable? Maybe both of ours isn’t valid to the user. Grow up.

[Chthou95]

Lol women say one thing but their actions say another. Money does matter & that's one of the things men need to have. Again women are hypergamous and exceptions don't break the general rule. Sorry it's just the truth

[kyleelyn199723]

There’s men in relationships that make an average living and their partner is 100% fine with that. To think a guy needs to be rich to ever achieve a women’s love is BS. Again, your advice isn’t the only valid one here. Grow up.

[Chthou95]

Again exceptions dont disprove the GENERAL rule. Money plays a part. Looks, money & status. Those are the three things guys need to attract women. You don't ask a fish how to catch fish. You ask the fisherman

[kyleelyn199723]

Money is to a certain extent, but more willing to know when to find something to do to pick up some money when in need is more sexy. A hard working man is sexy. That doesn’t mean he needs to be a millionaire

[Chthou95]

I didn't say he needs to be a millionaire either. But he does need to have some money along with a good physique and status. Looks, money and status. Remeber that Asker

[kyleelyn199723]

And all of those go into the word confidence. So yes thank you for letting me know my advice is valid.

[Chthou95]

Those are separate things but whatever helps you sleep at night, continue to think that way 👌

[kyleelyn199723]

No it is not. Status is obtained from being confident and friendly. Looks are obtained from confidence and wanting to look better for yourself, and being hardworking comes from drive and confidence

[Chthou95]

Confidence doesn't come without success. You can't just be confident and boom everything is better. Guys have to make improvements first and then confidence can kick in once you earned success but confidence alone is horse shit

[kyleelyn199723]

Confidence is probably 70% of why a girl you don’t know would pursue you. We know when a guy is and isn’t confident and that comes with how you present yourself as a person including looks, status and your ability to work hard

[Slim57]

I disagree with it falling apart after you get off of the app, if I can ever get a girl off of the app on an actual date 90% of the time I have a 2nd. The problem is not getting a match, getting a response, or getting left for another guy

[kyleelyn199723]

That’s you personally. When there’s guys pretending to be something they aren’t on these dating apps and then they meet in person and reality hits

[Chthou95]

Let's agree to disagree because we both stand by our opinions and it isn't going to change

[kyleelyn199723]

Your opinion is actually pretty sexist but to each it’s own.

[Chthou95]

Let's agree to disagree then. Because we both have our own opinions and that's not going to change

[kyleelyn199723]

Okay so you admit that you are sexist 🤷🏻‍♀️ that’s why you are arguing with me. Get off my comment

[Chthou95]

No this isn't being sexist. I'm just not politcally correct and give red pill advice. The advice that society won't tell men because they're feeding men these blue pill ideologies that won't work. Think whatever you want though

[Siren777]

Waste of time for someone looking for commitment but great for people who don't want commitment.

[CasaNorba]

complete horseshit, I used tinder over 5 years ago and the women who use that shit treat it like its some normal dating app. and you'll be surprised how many women in this site actually testified they done the same