So has marriage been outdated indefinitely and sex is the new “ normal “?

[kc_4308]

Is sex, friends with benefits , and situationships the new normal for dating

[ObscuredBeyond]

The need for the marriage bed to be honored is not something that will ever be truly obsolete. Not until the Omnivova (2 Peter 3:10) destroys the entire universe in a cosmic cook fest. (Matt. 5:18). It just means that a reset of human civilization is soon to be necessary, on par with the one that happened during the fall of Rome.

Willful ignorance of the command and need for it of marriage and honoring the covenant of it, in favor of every form of disrespect, is simply becoming more popular, because decadence has gone unpunished for too long, and acceptance of it is becoming more and more hardwired into the perishing civilizations.

These things go in cycles. We're near that part of the cycle where the death of high society becomes inevitable. And it could take a century or two for a rebirth to occur.

In that part of the cycle that we're in, the society begging for its own destruction becomes consumed with complete moral apathy over the fallout of sexual deviance. And so it comes to reach an attitude of contempt for the covenant such that no form of sexual deviance is ever deemed "too deviant."

Sodom was built near a volcano. America is built on top of one of the world's largest supervolcanoes. Cycles.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. I think most people still like the idea of marriage and forever.

2. A loudly vocal minority trash talk marriage.

3. Many people today are not well suited for marriage because they want instant gratification without effort. Marriage is not outdated, but a significant part of the population is substandard.

[ToastyOats]

Kids especially like the idea of forever. They hate moving, hate new friends. I think marriage is something to aspire to simply because it gives children so much hope for their futures.

[OlderAndWiser]

@ToastyOats Yes, permanence and knowing that you can always count on someone offers great comfort. . . as long as you have chosen your partner wisely.

[NicoletteXO]

Ooooh - your number 3 is good! I think a lot of it has to do with the economy to be honest. Whereas 50 years ago, any hardworking guy could earn enough to support a family, even if he was a janitor. The couple could expect to own a home, a car, and live decently. These days, you need to be exceptional to be able to single-handedly support a family as a guy - and even then, buying a house is so hard unless you have inheritance. In this context, women just feel like they have to do all the masculine stuff (be earners etc), but when they get home it's not like most men do all the feminine stuff. It's a rare guy who actually proactively does chores to a high standard (maybe 1% of guys do). So, if she is in a marriage, she will basically have to keep doing what she's doing work wise and then double her workload at home. As a couple, she has to do half the man's job in term's of earning, and usually 80-100% of the women's job. It's exhausting and lends itself to bickering and lack of libido. Things just worked better when a man could provide and a woman could nurture, I think. The economy makes this very difficult.

[OlderAndWiser]

@NicoletteXO I am not one of those who thinks that EVERYTHING was better when I was a child, but things were certainly different. I understand what you are saying but let me give you a different perspective on what has changed.

In the 1950's and 1960's, the standard of living - with respect to material possessions - was much different. Most families lived in houses that were 1500 sq feet or less. Families only owned one car. The wife didn't work and if she wanted to use a car during the day, she drove her husband to work. They didn't go on cruises and vacations to Europe; a vacation meant driving some distance to visit with relatives and you stayed with them instead of in a hotel. Dinner in a restaurant happened MAYBE once a week. If an appliance broke, you repaired it instead of replacing it. Families owned ONE television and it was in the living room; everyone sat in there and watched TV together. A family had A telephone in the living room or kitchen; cell pones did not exist. Many children did not get new clothes for school; they got their older sibling's hand-me-downs. As a result of this reduced lifestyle, a family could survive on one income, but many men had a full-time job and a part-time job BUT. . . mom stayed at home and raised her children instead of sending them to day care, kids grew up knowing that their parents loved them because they spent time with both parents every day.

In the 1960's, the media began to portray family life as glamorous and glitzy. TV families lived in huge houses, they had two cars, the kids had televisions in their bedrooms, they went on vacations to Disneyland or Europe or something else that was exciting, and all the kids went to college. People watched this and it excited them and they wanted it. . . but it required that the wife also get a paying job.

And it all went to hell after that.

[NicoletteXO]

Yes, that all makes sense... but what I'm saying is that even if you lived exactly like the average family in the 1950s, you'd still be struggling to live on one income and buy a house these days, even if the husband had a high paying job. The economy is not the same. Real estate is unaffordable for most young people.

[Jamie05rhs]

@NicoletteXO @OlderAndWiser You are both right. It's the economy, but it's also people's expectations of luxury.

@OlderAndWiser I think what you said about reduced expenses due to a more minimalist lifestyle is a very important thing for everyone to understand. Can you please write a MyTake about that?

[NicoletteXO]

Yup. Seems like marriage is a thing of the past, except amongst the elite.

Interesting how it's mostly the poor bums or slightly pompous woke-ish middle class who eschew marriage - the lack of which only leads to instability and suffering, especially for children.

[CurlyGirl42]

Naah.. back in the days people often had sex before marriage and then they just had to get married because the woman got pregnant.. I don't really see the change.. except now you have more of a choice to get kids, buy a place to live and so without being married.

[kc_4308]

That’s not traditional relationships honey that’s doing what society says

[CurlyGirl42]

yes, that is marriage for you, 'honey'. that's how most relationships was like during the time there has been marriage. The church wanted it, so that was how society was. If you think it was more romantic you need to look up on history.

[dray995]

Nope. Most people weren’t out having sex before marriage because marriage was the norm and people were expected to wait, not like nowadays where there is no expectation of that. Pre-Marital Sex was the exception, not the standard back then.

[CurlyGirl42]

@dray995 I said often.. not what the norm was.. anyway you cannot know what people actually did since it would obviously not be recorded how many secretly had pre-marital sex. I personally think if one could get away with it one would go for it. People had the same hormones running in their body, teens would do risky shit.. the biological sexdrive did not change.

[TonyMetal___86]

Marriage is the norm and the right thing to do...

Marriage ain't outdated except for the people who are just materialistic, not serious and seeking only sexual stuff...

Only a marriage ceremony will make a man and a woman become one and get the blessing of god to become a family, united spiritually and physically, before marriage no matter how much they love each other they are still strangers to each other and do not have to hold the responsibility of each other...

Also they can't see each other naked or have sex...

You might tell me that the majority are doing it, i'll answer you that i'm not ready to follow a tribe whom i know that they are committing a sin and might burn in hell...

I'll take the good and right path even if i'm going to be alone on this road...

[kc_4308]

You are correct the way how dating is equals the sum of depressing and sad how people date..

[TonyMetal___86]

True! Also this generation is always affraid of love and marriage, they always think that they will end up being cheated on or divorced that's because they do no have enough faith in god, also they lack of morals and values... etc

[kc_4308]

Yes Tony it’s bad so many guys shy away from marriage, but are eager for sex. I still wear my purity rings

[TonyMetal___86]

Your a precious lady and only a real man can admire you and appreciate you for your beliefs and for your purity, also he will support you and let no one touches you in a hateful way...

Girls like you are rare these days because to become a bad lost person is easy but to be a good loving forgiving person is something hard and that's why humans always tend to take the easy destructive way...

How many girls have been hurt by men seeking only for sex while claiming that they are in love and empty promises of marriage? Also how many girls had fallen for guys who sugar coat them with beautiful words and acting till they get what they want...

On the other side how many men had fallen in front of manipulative women, gold diggers and women who uses their bodies and sexual attraction as a weapon to get what they want from a man...

1st men have oppressed women and treated them like slaves, after that the feminism movements started and reached a point these days where it became lethal and made only to get revenge from men...

The fact is men and woman should support each other, love each other and act as one because god created them to complete each other and to compete against each other but it takes someone who can zoom out to see the whole image and not just a fragment from it...

[kc_4308]

Tony my boundaries are up and will remain up I don’t know anymore.. yes I’m rare and hidden and want to remain hidden as always.. I don’t believe what I’m after is out there anymore.. if it is it’s in small numbers and not large numbers.. I’m safer hidden than found

[Jake99999]

No. What is normal is for you to do it your way, if you prefer a relationship and not just fuck buddies, then you do you. I am the same way. I like to find someone who I care about and be in a relationship. I think sex is much better in a relationship with someone you love, anyway. I am with someone and very happy. Do it your way. Don't follow the herd, follow your heart.

[ToastyOats]

Marriage is about children, keeping your people and your culture going. There are a lot of people who are so self absorbed and lazy they are unwilling to pay forward to another person what they had. We all get old and die. Accept it and live like you believe it, and trust me, you will begin to want kids of your own.

[kc_4308]

I do have kids

[ToastyOats]

Great. I really hope I am able to. If I could do it by myself I would have. Even if it meant giving birth to them myself.

[kc_4308]

Yes I’ve been married before the way how dating and marriage is now a days it’s a slim thing nowadays with dating

[kc_4308]

And this climate as well.. over sexualized population

[ToastyOats]

a lot of people are sick from all the crap out there now on TV and online. Porn and movies. Honestly sex is probably one of the most fulfilling things people can do together but I see what you mean. Sex for me is a way too inspire me in my life to do better, like a healthy meal. If all I ate was junk I might think food was the problem, its not though. How can show to women that im a good man?

[ToastyOats]

Like good food, good sex is Life.

[Yourfriend2021]

Hi, how have you been? It seems outdated but lots of people are still getting married when they are young but divorce rate is high.

[kc_4308]

I’m ok hru

[TheFlak38]

marriage is a thing of the past. it only serves the interests of women and destroys men's lives. Some people believe and wish we can go back to the traditional days, which cannot be done and won't fix anything. Others want a new solution that is compatible in the modern world and in a gynocentric society where women demand and more and more rights by the second one of the only possible solutions is segregation.

[Chris2769]

Look at most friends with benefits questions, most of them turn to “does he like me now”

[kc_4308]

Right …

[Chris2769]

So there will always be more than just sex

[Sohard]

i don't know. I don't experience friends with benefits situation EVER because I got no game whatsoever when it comes to picking up the ladies haha

[Gwenhwyfar]

No. Just for people under 30. And even they often have real romantic relationships (just rarely marriage).

[Jamie05rhs]

@Gwenhwyfar What's a real romantic relationship, though, if it's not marriage? Marriage is the only one that lasts for life.

[slatyb]

Last I checked people are still getting married. But not as much as they used to,

[Andres77]

It's more common and gets more attention than monogamy.

[Yaharro]

😆😆😆 hook up culture may satisfying but it will never make you happy

[bamesjond0069]

Pretty much as long as girls keep giving up their virginity at age 14. Whats the men to do?

[Bulbullll]

Nah. Sex is the main focus before 25 . After both men and women want a family

[dray995]

It would seem so, unfortunately.

[Starman5]

For some people I guess so

[AmeerX]

No, marriage is still the norm

[Jamie05rhs]

Apparently.

[Sugar_7]

Never will be