When a Red Flag appears in the person you are dating do you pause and seek more information or end it right then and there?

Question

hannahjo022 · Accepted Answer

Eh it depends on the red flag. Recently had a guy who contacted me almost a decade later and wanted to rush being in a relationship with me when they told me they were going through a divorce. I thought it was weird that person hit me up again NC for almost 10 years and they were going through a divorce. Seemed like I would be their rebound. I wanted to get to know them since people change since the last 10 years you talked to them. I thought it was weird to rush into a new relationship going through a divorce. They did not care and started to flake on me when told them I did not think it was a good time. They ghosted me and found out they are back with their ex again. I dodged a bullet with that one. Maybe I should date their friend who I thought was cute 10 years ago and still is hehe.

Alyssa11 · Accepted Answer

If you decide to leave, you’ve got to be done for real. Helps avoid any regrets or missed opportunities. Nobody is perfect, and I’d usually want to gather a collection of red flags to really decide I’m walking away. Of course, there’s going to be some red flags that I can’t just look over. For example, if another woman is involved and I get the slightest sign of disloyalty from him I’m out. No negotiation.

BeenThereLovedIt · Accepted Answer

I used to 'seek more information', but there's a gigantic flaw in that concept.

Much like politics, when we seek information it's more to confirm our bias. If you really like her and want it to work, you will focus on the positive info and dismiss the negative. Or opposite if you are looking for a way out. Confirmation bias is a bitch.

Anyways, from real-life lessons, I've learned that where there's smoke, there's fire. Lots and lots of flame, smoke, liquid magma, you name it. Soon as I see certain red flags, I'm gone. No need to live through that pain again. Same as the guy who was once caught in a fire.. he doesn't run into smoky buildings. Smart guy.

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

Pause and seek more info. I once accidentally dated a feminist, as well as accidentally dated a queer woman ('bisexual'). The latter one grossed me out and I felt hurt and betrayed that I had basically been cucked by a lesbian. But with the former, I talked to her about it. She was a full-blown fourth wave, Tumblr feminist. This was 2015. So I broke up with her, despite her body and the sex being *amazing.*

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I think it would depend on the red flag

SLRK3 · Answer

Because my dumb ass always tries and sees the best in people. There is always a story behind everything, so maybe there is a reason why that red flag is there that isn't that person's fault. I know that it doesn't make sense. There is also the whole benefit of the doubt thing. I tend to use that one a lot as well. Between those two things, I tend to get myself into enough pickles of a situations than I can account for but what can a girl do.

Jake99999 · Answer

It depends on what the red flag is. Some would be an instant "end it", others you maybe would try to understand a bit more. Some red flags are pretty extreme and you don't really need to think about it. Examples... You notice the person seems to have a serious drinking problem - Unless you want to sign up for a ton of misery, end it. Someone's credit card is rejected trying to pay for dinner? Could be a problem, but could be lots of reasons for that.

loveslongnails · Answer

Coach, that would really depend on the type of red flag, although since it's "red" anyway, it's worrisome. I can think of some red flags where I'd end it and some where I'd want more info.

NathanDavis · Answer

I never rush to conclusions or decision making based on first impressions nor assumptions... always best to get more info, a much better perspective

but then of course, sometimes is just obvious that it won't work out... lmao

Ninani · Answer

Depends on the severity of the red flag. Usually I try to understand the reason behind each of their actions, but in some cases it's also a question of security. If I feel threatened, I don't wait for anything but a way out.

FR_Ruby · Answer

In my mind I define a Red Flag as a cause for concern or warning. It's definitely possible for something in itself to be a Deal Breaker, but I'm not sure what I would call that. I'd probably just call it a Deal Breaker instead of a Red Flag if I had to end it.

GoldenAxer · Answer

Might still be able to hang out and have a good time even if I've lost some interest that way. We're already on the date. Might as well make the best of it and have a good time.

libsaretards · Answer

This depends on what the red flag is and whether or not it is the only one. I will pause and seek information until I am convinced that things need to end if the red flag is minor enough. EVERYONE has flaws in some way but if those issues can be worked through then I put the effort in. If the red flag is something crazy, things end right then and there.

ChiTown33 · Answer

What do you do before war? You dig fox holes. I don't end it right there it's only 1 red flag but it's not my first radio and It would only be prudent though to prepare for what I thought was coming

Browneye57 · Answer

Obviously it depends on what it is, and whether it needs further investigation, inquiry.  If she's a lesbian or hates sex, then all bets are off. LOL

pleasestopthis · Answer

Pause and seek more information, sadly when a red flag arises I tend to think "maybe I'm overthinking or misunderstanding something" and so I need more time to confirm my suspicions

pink_and_inlove · Answer

Pause and seek for information. I don’t think I’ve noticed any red flags in my boyfriend yet and it’s been more than a year now

YollyM · Answer

I ask the people around the person, but not his friends because surely they'll lie and so would he. If he's toxic without profound reason (not that it's okay to be toxic with reason but certain things change people) then boy bye👋🙄

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I'm not impulsive, so I never end things right on the spot. I do take a step back, though.

Anonymous · Answer

First option. Nobody is perfect but I’m definitely more cautious.

LogicalGal123 · Answer

I gots no time for bs. If I see a red flag. I'm out. I know what I am worth and I know what I want. I don't have time to play games and I don't have time for nonsense.

ThatNoUVAtYourEyes · Answer

I scan for those before talking at all - and skip once I can tell it is there.
It mostly is.
That's why we're meant to be with just one other person.
A matching type of... even insanity/filters on reality, if you will.

electromagnetic · Answer

END IT THEN AND THERE. some red flags are extremely hard to ignore.

slatyb · Answer

End it. If I think something is a red flag, the chance that I am wrong is small.

PinkLady21 · Answer

I would bring it up and question their reasoning behind it… then if I still felt uneasy I’d end it.

Azura_88 · Answer

I end it immediately if I see more than 2 red flags.

Anonymous · Answer

Gut feelings and red flags are a problem but the heart sometimes rules your mind.

kc_4308 · Answer

I’m ending it a red flag is a red flag

Jojo74doug · Answer

I have a whole collection of red flags

FreyaRed · Answer

Red flag means it's over.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Usually pause and seek more info

Anonymous · Answer

I don't even know what the red flag means. lmfao

exitseven · Answer

I like to trust but verify.

Mavie · Answer

Pause and seek more info

es20490446e · Answer

I qualify my prospect upfront.

Fuentes · Answer

Seek info then never hit them back up

dustybiker · Answer

I trust my gut.

Assi2k · Answer

End that mofo

Slim57 · Answer

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When a Red Flag appears in the person you are dating do you pause and seek more information or end it right then and there?

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What do you consider a red flag when dating someone?

When a Red Flag appears in the person you are dating do you pause and seek more information or end it right then and there?

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What do you consider a red flag when dating someone?

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