Girls, Forum for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse. Share your story?

[LeoPride93]

I'll start: last spring I started dating a very attractive older man. I didn't know it at the time, but I had just gotten involved with a narcissist.

He was very charming, insightful and he made it seem like I was the most special person in the world. He went out of his way to do things for me, he told me how beautiful I was, and he was constantly taking me out on lavish dates.

About three months in, he told me he loved me. He planned the whole day out and it was absolutely perfect. It quite literally felt like it was out of a movie scene and I was the main character getting swept off my feet. I was in love.

Not too long after that the red flags started to appear. It started off small, then slowly things got worse. I knew something wasn't right, but I was in love. He would ignore me, sometimes for days on end and whenever I would get upset, I was "selfish" and "needy". When I would get mad, he insisted I had an anger problem that needed to be worked on, and when I would go out for a weekly drink with my girlfriends, I was suddenly then labelled an "alcoholic". I also wasn't allowed to share my issues within our relationship with my friends.

I would confront him over his flirty comments and texts with other women, to which then I was being "paranoid" and "crazy" for questioning him. When I went to his house one evening, I found two wine glasses on the counter and an open bottle of champagne (he never drank champagne unless it was a special occasion or date night). I asked him why there were two glasses, and he said he had some champagne but didn't use the same glass twice. I had things at his place in the bathroom, bedroom and randomly around the house, but whenever I would leave for a day or two, I'd come back to all my stuff put away in closets, drawers or tucked away in the spare bedroom. I found a woman's bathing suit in the drawer of the night stand on my side but claimed it was an ex's and he forgot it was there.

I will continue my story in the comments.

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Cell phones weren't allowed in the bedroom at night for whatever reason. I would leave my phone charging in the kitchen at his house. He worked earlier than me and would get up super early to workout. Little did I know he was going through my phone before I would wake up.

On Thanksgiving he had his son down visiting for a few days and I was supposed to meet him for the first time. I ended up really sick with an infection and had to be hospitalized. He showed no sympathy, wasn't concerned...

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... and was upset that I couldn't make it. I eventually left the hospital to go and see him and his son, which went very well considering, but then the next day when I broke out in a fever, I was the bad guy for putting himself and his son "at risk".

My family booked a vacation for Christmas break and he became excruciatingly mad because I didn't consult with him before agreeing to go. I should have run it by him first (his words).

He always talked sh*t about everyone his knew...

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

It’s a long story so I will try to keep it short, it’s the main reason why I joined this site.


I had met my ex boyfriend through mutual friends, he was so sweet. I mean, he absolutely swept me off my feet and said everything I wanted to hear. Love bombing, is what he did, but I was oblivious because I had no idea what narcissism or any form of emotional abuse was. I just thought he wanted to marry me and I was everything he wanted. So foolish and naive of me, but I trusted him, and I trusted my mutual friends that he was a good guy.


Fast forward a few months into the relationship, my first pet gecko passed away, he got me a new one. That new one was a baby and came from a non reputable breeder, so it passed away. He was angry. He was absolutely fucking furious at me. He started to list off everything about me that was irresponsible, stupid, worthless, etc. she gave me the whole rundown of flaws that I had. I just thought it was understandable to be angry at me for that since he bought me a new gecko and it passed away so soon. He broke up with me. He made me feel so guilty for “murdering” the gecko. He even went to say that I would be a horrible mother because of it. Yeeep.


We got back together a couple weeks later, he apologized, I accepted his apology because I had low self esteem and thought it was just understandable to be mad. Anyways, the second time we broke up… He told me I was irresponsible once again, listed off my flaws, guilt tripped me, threatened me, and made horrible jokes about me, he told me he wouldn’t get back together with me until I got a job, (I am and was a full time student and had lots of classes, so I was holding off on a job). I got a job, we got back together. Soon after, he dropped a bomb saying he lied about his parents, he lied and said they were dead, but they were alive. I just said whatever.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Third time we broke up, the very last time. It was past our 1 year anniversary. I went above and beyond to make him happy. I spent money on him that would take a month to earn back. That’s not easy when you’re full time student and trying to work just part time. Anyways, the last time he came over, he was angry at me for no reason. He pushed me, he hit me, he yelled in my face, he called me names. I didn’t know why. He left the next morning and I didn’t want to reach out, but he reached out and said that he’s going to a different state and wants to break up because I wasn’t willing to come with him. I asked why he wanted to break up, he said I drove him crazy, etc. I just wanted the bare minimum. He knew in the past that I was crawling back to him and it just fed his ego. He knew I was weak with a low self esteem because of him and it just made him so happy. He put on a great front.

So, we broke up. I didn’t contact him. I let him go. Somehow, he got in contact with me and lied to me (once again) and sent me a fake picture of a plane window. He was leading me on once again, but I could smell his bullshit. I already knew what he was doing. I asked him why he lied, and sent him proof of how I know he lied, and he said he’s an asshole etc. (no shit). I left him alone. It was hard to finally emotionally detach myself after over a year with him, and still holding onto the hope that he was still that sweetheart I loved in the very beginning. I had to accept that he wasn’t, so I moved on

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Fast forward months later, no contact from him, and I moved on. I got therapy and decided to move on and try to go on dates. I let my current boyfriend. Months into the relationship, boom, I hear from my ex. He was saying he wants to talk and meet up. I said no. He showed up at my house unannounced. We talked. I told him I don’t want him to come here again or talk to me again. He threatened to kill himself. He’s impulsive, had a weapon, and was drinking, so I definitely took that seriously. He asked me if I was seeing someone else, I lied (for my safety), and I said no. He went back home, and a few weeks later, he found out I had a boyfriend. He was cyber stalking me and our mutual friends. He harassed me, my boyfriend, and my friends. I got nasty messages and phone calls from him for months, and so did my boyfriend. He would text from any platform he could find us on. He would threaten me, my boyfriend, and my family and his family. He blackmailed me. I finally put in a cease and desist order and he stopped…

It’s not a good situation to be in. It was exhausting, and it still is emotionally exhausting even after it’s over. I still struggle with regaining my self esteem back and everything else that was broken in me when I was with him. Retrospectively speaking, I know I had every chance to leave, but my heart didn’t want to because I was attached. I finally was able to though, and I am more than proud of myself for that.

[LeoPride93]

Thank you for sharing your story :)