If a date puts you on the spot about political views you don’t agree with, what is the best way to react?

Question

I’ve seen more and more of this go on over the last few years. I personally NEVER bring up politics on a first date. Agree or disagree it does absolutely nothing for romantic energy. However I’ve seen more and more women put men on the spot about this.

In a way it feels like a shit test. A guy might be tempted to seemingly agree just to please her because he wants to get laid. But also if he stands his ground and (tactfully) disagrees it can show that he is confident. For some women having that strong counter balance is a huge turn on because it’s a challenge.

But how do you react?

224466881010 · Accepted Answer

I'd get very curious and try to find out why they have their political beliefs. I'd probably just undermine most political views because they're arrogant in the first place. I find that most people who hold political views don't actually have the slightest clue about the actual reality of the situation. It's all based on hearsay from their favorite pundits. I can almost guarantee they didn't read the scientific papers, they don't know the numbers, they don't actually know what is said behind closed doors and they know nothing about economics or people from different cultures. If someone brings up a rigid political belief right away, I almost immediately discover that it's mostly supported by arrogance and emotions rather than rational thought or logic. So basically I'd try to humble them or show that they're putting the cart before the horse.

I'm not saying it's impossible to have well formed political views, I'm just saying most of y'all are completely full of shit and it shows, because it's really difficult to have accurate knowledge or a plan for even just a singular issue. So when someone claims support for a particular political party or trashes others... DEAD GIVEAWAY. They're full of shit. They aren't even talking about a specific issue (and each individual issue on a political platform is no doubt enormously complex), let alone a wide group of issues, even when people should be disagreeing left right and center (pardon the pun) WITHIN a single political party. No. You don't know anything bro. You're a sheep. Try your hand at actually examining and solving a problem instead of playing crusader slacktivist with your stupid pamphlets and posters hailing a chosen hero who's going to swoop in and save us all. That's Disney, not reality. Politics is mostly for making people feel important and is only actually played for real at high levels.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I had this issue arise and I told my date, "Whether we agree or disagree, I am not looking for a companion with whom I can discuss politics, and if we disagree, I am quite tolerant. Is it a deal breaker for you?"

And, for her, it was. And so, ultimately, we would not have been a good match, because she was intolerant, and breaking up early on avoided me wasting more of my time on her.

Nomina · Accepted Answer

I won't bring up politics when getting to know someone and I hate the fact that even I have been roped in on this BS. It does kill the mood, real fast. So I will listen instead and tactfully disagree. It is a deliberate act not to jump to conclusions about the person and to keep your feelings at the door.

I try not to let someone's political beliefs affect the way I treat them, but it can affect my desire to be with them.

And I will admit I don't want some male feminist trying to woo me by whispering in my ears about how oppressed I am or something not only due to being a woman but also being black! Double Whammy!

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

I mean it depends on. It would be difficult if he is radical leftist/radical right. A (radical) right party's members in my country were arrested for corruption for example. I am open minded when it comes to political beliefs as long as he respects mine beliefs

HollyK21 · Answer

Hear from her mind but speak yours too. Sometimes political views can be dealbreakers and sometimes you will find a healthy way to have clashing views, but accept that the other person thinks differently and coexist with that. But don’t stay quiet, because if this topic isn’t coming up now then it will at another point. Might as well address it now so you can pull out of that situation and there won’t be too much emotional damage.

PinkMichae · Answer

I'm good at listening to why they believe what they believe. But I definitely won't just agree with them. I make a point to know what's going on in the political world. So I'd probably show them proof why they are wrong and they will probably get offended and try to insult me.

And if they can't be respectful of my beliefs, which is usually the case with people on the left, then they can kick rocks. I wouldn't have wanted to end up with someone that's going to focus on teaching our kids how they are victims or oppressors, depending on their skin color, and to be Anti-American. And not to say all leftist think that way. But in my experience a lot do.

But I guess I just got lucky. Because the 2 men I did end up having long term relationships with had the same beliefs as me. And I really didn't know until after we were falling in love. Politics wasn't a big priority for me until about 7 years ago after I was already with my handsome guy. It wasn't till I saw what was happening to our country I decided to really get involved and research the lies I kept catching the msm in.

007kingifrit · Answer

here is what i do/say:

"i think labels trap people in little boxes and instead of defining us they tell us what we are supposed to be. so i don't label"

I then transfer the conversation into a philosophical discussion instead by starting with do you think human nature is good/evil? if you think humans are evil you're on the right, and if you think humans are ultimately good you're on the left

another philosophical question to ask is equality vs fairness. equality is when everyone gets an outcome equal to other outcomes and fairness is when everyone gets an outpet dependent on their input

Shizunk · Answer

The diplomatic approach is to state my position briefly and neutraly and then ask questions about hers to fish for things we do have in common so we can turn this into a positive experience. But frankly, if she is a toxic feminist, or something else directly relevant to the relationship, great. I would rather not bring that up, but if she does inform me that she is entirely undateable, might as well say that early so we dont waste time.

Rachel794 · Answer

Most likely bringing up non political first date topics is better. But if it does come up, show interest. Even if you disagree. Ask a lot of open ended questions, giving your date time to answer and without interrupting. This will show you can also handle conflict well in a relationship. Very rarely is a couple going to agree on everything. That’s what makes for an unpredictable and fun relationship.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I'd just say I'd rather not discuss politics on a date. I might give my opinion if she presses the issue, but tbh it's not gonna endear me to her if i feel like I'm being dragged into a political debate. It's not that I won't ever debate politics. (I can and do on many other occasions, even right here on GaG). But that's not what a first date is for. If she can't respect the "dance" of flirting and witty banter that a first date is meant to elicit, then why should I respect her demands to know my political views? She's welcome to leave the date and go find some more politically charged date with another guy instead.

wysiwyg2525 · Answer

Always start off with sets of rules that tou should never chat about.
Politics
Religion
LBGTQ
Ex never ask or compare yourself to them
Independenacy of a person
Their education/knowledge
Abortion

When you are upfront with the person before you go on a date then your more likely to weed out who you want to be with.

t-8900 · Answer

I tell them I'm A Political and slowly and tactfully over the course of the relationship pretend you are starting to notice things that bother you about the world. be like "did you hear about this?" or "what do you think about this?" subjects they might not like but it opens them up to new ideas without you having to deal with hostility. Rather than go hard full on "this is how I feel" be more like "I was thinking that there's some possibility of A & B and I can understand why people have these viewpoints and why others might disagree with it. It's a mess, I don't know but I'm sure with open dialogue people could find more understanding and not be at each other's throats. It's so sad to see people fighting when we all want the same outcomes, which are what's best for all." Works like a charm for me.

horsenrhinounicorn · Answer

Agree to disagree, let the other share their opinions of what the main qualities of that person that got them to that choice. What are the main qualities that they believe a person should look for prior to making this choice. In the workplace one does not choose a person by their political association for getting the job, they make the choice by who will be the best fit to serve the needs of the organization. Workplaces are filled with great people who come from both parties and when everyone can work together and make a good team thats when success happens.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

Just be honest. If that is a show stopper for her, then so be it.
You could also tactfully say "Why don't we put that aside for now and just enjoy the evening", which may or may not work, but it's a decent thing to do. There are many people who feel pretty strongly about politics now and for many, disagreeing on this may be a complete turn off. Again, just be honest. She may think you're an asshole for supporting a particular political agenda, but if you lie about it to get laid you definitely are.

NicoletteXO · Answer

I love political discussions on dates. I don't care what their position is, but I care deeply HOW they arrived at their conclusion. If a man has epistemic integrity and intelligence, we are gonna do great in the bedroom!

Anonymous · Answer

Normally lol: it’s just a question on your views, if they disagree it’s their job to convince you otherwise, but they should be open to having their opinion swayed as well. People shouldn’t be judged based of their political views for a romantic relationship no matter what it is, all it is is a good way to learn about someone.

Personally I find you can bring some romantic energy if your charismatic enough and disagree In a respectfull (almost non caring) way. Never had someone hate me or dislike me on any of my views even the controversial ones, turned them into fun little discussions.

doopayo · Answer

Who even brings up political views on the first date, that’s so awkward. That’s something left for the third or fourth

Diodoro · Answer

I can count on one hand the number of times politics has ever played a real role on any of my dates or relationships. If it's consistently a problem for you then you need to do better vetting of the girls.

Like in the past two years I can think of one girl who said that Billionaires don't deserve their money and that they should give most of it to poor people who need it.

I challenged her on that. We discussed. We moved on from the topic. Didn't effect our experience overall.

Dude_777 · Answer

Hold your ground and test her to see how she reacts. I don't take interest in politics, but if she has one, she needs to have sensible political views.

Just say, i have this point of view (make a different sensible one from her point of view to create a disagreement), to see if she respects your POV or not. If she respects, good. If she rants, disrespects or tries to impose her beliefs on you, good riddance her 😅. It will save you a lot of headaches in future.

MCheetah · Answer

B. Like when someone tries to tell me why I need to respect Black Lives Matter. I'm sorry hun; but you just failed the Idiot Test. (I don't really say this, but I think it.) I really don't like closed-minded, low IQ ideologues.

MrNameless · Answer

I think people bring it up for 2 reasons

1. They want something to talk about and they are passsionate about it

2. I wouldn't call it a shit test, but they likely do want to see what your political alignment is to see if its aligned with them, because different political beliefs is a deal breaker for many.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

If they are too outside my views, then I tell them dates over and walk.

Unlike the States we actually have left wing people here in the UK.

i can handle a certain amount of political bollox but anyone too far extreme left or right is gone.

Ditto with religion, if the word God comes out of their mouth chances are the next noise will be my chair moving.

Same with racism and homophobia, walked out before because of their views.

Bobsyoruncle · Answer

Be graceful without compromising your opinions or beliefs.

Get the date wrapped up as quickly as possible.

See them home or safely where they need to go.

Write them off.

The WORST circle of hell is the one where you have to spend time with someone who is wrongheaded about things that are important to YOU.

Darksign · Answer

I'd stand up for what I believe. I'm not gonna lie for some pussy. But if she's gonna bring up politics we're gonna get deep into why she believes what she believes and expose her lack of education on the subject. If she keeps squawking about trump this, trump that, but can't back it up with facts then that shows her ignorance and lack of character

noohair · Answer

It is the opposite or Classical Liberalism which allowed for an intellectual disagreement that did not lead to one person being right or wrong. The phrase, "I disagree with you completely, but I will defend your right to your own opinion." has been replaced by, "if you think that, you are evil and I hate you."

Ninani · Answer

I'd argue my case and we can have a friendly debate.

LinaDaGoddess · Answer

I don’t know much about dating because I’ve haven’t been in the dating scene long, but politics is definitely a subject to be avoided. I would keep it short and simple, then never speak to them again. (If things went left)

HighValue · Answer

I would tell them my views. Many political views have to do with moral values and I wouldn't want someone with different morals than I have. It is better to find out each other's morals sooner rather than later so neither person wastes their time with someone they aren't compatible with.

Anonymous · Answer

Politics aren't a big deal to me at all. They are irrelevant to relationships and I don't judge people based off of their views. I judge people based off how they treat others. Like what you like, I don't care. T

EssenceOfLight · Answer

A
People are indoctrinated about some political or religious things. The best way is to avoid revealing your stance in particular topics. They will react often irrational if you disagree with them even if they seem to be emotionally balanced and tolerant.

ChiTown33 · Answer

If she puts me on the spot I will try to be as tactful as possible. But she asked my views so she's going to get them. And then we'll go from there. I mean we're both adults. There's no reason we can't discuss this like adults. Who knows maybe we'll learn something from each other.

Anonymous · Answer

The best option is simply not to even get to the first date with people with whom you do not agree. For example, I would not go on a date with a girl if I did not have at least a vague idea of ​​her character and her views on certain issues. And this is relatively easy to understand - she almost certainly has some posts on her social media, for example, from which it is clear at least approximately what her views are. From what she publishes you can find out almost everything about her. Even if they are not explicitly in support of one party or another. If she publishes things in support of feminism or LGBT, for example, everything is clear.

Anonymous · Answer

The irony in a lot of this is that people who think they are disagreeing are not always.

My wife thought we were different political beliefs, but turns out she just misunderstood a lot of what I was saying. She thought I was too liberal for her, turns out once she fully understood my position we were actually very similar.

She had just heard all the excuses before, and assumed I was the same but then realized I was just saying the same thing, just different style.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I usually dont ask anyone their political views, it just eventually comes out. But if someone asks me, im gonna give my honest answer. Depending on the topic and response will determine if i choose to stay with them

Laura456 · Answer

I would tell them I don't keep up with the politics. Then change the subject haha

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

I think it's important to have similar views about politics and be able to openly talk about how you feel about things going on in your country without judgement. Who knows maybe the other person could provide insight

Kenzy009 · Answer

I have views that reflect both sides so I usually talk about my liberal views if im with a liberal and my conservative views if I am with a conservative. I find that conservatives are more open so you can probebly be more honest with them. After you get to know them better you make a judment wheter or not they are worth your time

VanillaSalt · Answer

Look… my politics are everything, they make up the fundamentals of what I believe so here’s how it is. If I agree then let’s do this if your s as n insane woke leftists I’ll agree, get laid, then I’m out peace!

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I would shift the conversation, especially if we are dating. Serious topics like that are way too touchy as is and it will not take much to shatter the rapport you have built with her depending how much she values them.

Anonymous · Answer

probably go quiet because that is not something i discuss with anyone anyways. plus, it's not even that important to me. at least i'm out of a dating game forever and don't have to deal with this haha

Anonymous · Answer

I don't talk about politics. I got into politics when I was like 17 then I realized a month later nobody ever wins the war. It's a fucking waste of time. People are so addicted to drama they love that shit. Lie all you want you love drama.

hahahmm · Answer

Women are always testing men. The best response is to not care about her opinions and to be totally honest. Extra points if you do it in the style of Billy Butcher from The Boys, or Dave Chappelle.

GaryBacon · Answer

How can you marry someone who doesn't share at least most of your morals. If you are just going on a date to have sec why not just hire a prostitute. You shouldn't be in a long term relationship with someone who has different core values from your own.

cocoamaca · Answer

How to react? Be honest & say you’re not comfortable. or express that they have their personal views & you have yours and that’s completely OK if you don’t agree.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I'd just set her on fire and whip out some marshmallows.

Agape93 · Answer

Im blunt. They'll either disagree or agree. I don't care, but the next date will be in the air at minimum.

impossiblebones · Answer

Argue back hard. If she can't handle it, that's her problem. I'd rather win an argument than fuck any day.

imfreeze95 · Answer

I don’t change my opinion unless I am presented with facts or have a genuine change of heart they can take it or leave it

Deserter · Answer

Say what I believe, but not be so confrontational about it. If that's still too much for her well congrats, you dodged a bullet

genericname85 · Answer

I them that everyone is entitled to their view and that she's not entitled to change mine... also that she's free to never see me again if she doesn't like that.

tiajoka · Answer

I don't know if id say taaactfully disagree. But id do my best to be polite about it.

Anonymous · Answer

I stay away from crazy political women. Don't want to hear their pointless rants that will make no difference.

rcljr · Answer

It’s part of seeing if you are compatible, I would never commit to a liberal, not in a thousands lifetimes.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Get up and live say goodbye it was nice talking to you but I have to go.

NewgodX · Answer

Be straight forward and clear  Lies are never good foundation for anything

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I don't like anyone who is rigid like that, no matter what their views are. I would slowly back away and phase out the conversation. I want to be with someone who is open-minded.

jshm2 · Answer

Depends on the views. Just because they are not your own, doesn't mean it's a dealbreaker.

slatyb · Answer

Since I met all my dates online that never happened.

DCooper · Answer

Cut your losses and be glad you didn't waste your time.

Anonymous · Answer

Overly liberal political views are a deal breaker for me. If she's civil about the disagreement, I will continue to try to have a nice time together but I won't ask her out again. If she gets nasty about it, the date is over.

loveslongnails · Answer

It would depend on how radical or distasteful her views were. If she were a trumper, I'd dump her.

legalboxers · Answer

look at your phone.. tell them you have a family emergency and you need to go (either pay half or stick them with the bill) then walk away (change your number or block them)

Jayplays900 · Answer

I love politics, but it has to place in my personal life. Especially since it can ruin friendships with the people I care most about, I'd rather keep my ideals to myself.

cth96190 · Answer

If the woman was not a fellow Deplorable, there would not have been a date.

If a date puts you on the spot about political views you don’t agree with, what is the best way to react?

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If a date puts you on the spot about political views you don’t agree with, what is the best way to react?

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Would you ever date someone who disagrees with you politically?

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