I have had questions from boyfriends in the past about why I wear this to bed. And my answer usually is "to maintain my hair".
I did have an ex who is black, who used to tell me that when I wore it he thought I looked ugly and he'd try and take it off my head at night. It used to really anger me. And his way around this was to not stay over. I dumped him, because it seemed anything I did to maintain myself was an issue to him.
Yes it bothers me
No it doesn't bother me
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Does it bother you to know that when you date a black girl, she'll probably look like this when going to bed at night?
Seems crazy if it does bother him. Sometimes we wear them to protect our hair. Cotton [pillow cases] dry out your hair (of any hair texture) but even more so for black people. Satin or silk pillows cases can be used as well. Not as comfortable, but they do help. Bonnets/scarves also help with keeping hair from getting tangled in the middle of the night, helps keep hair softer and smoother overall. It’s an option to help maintain healthy hair. It can be for those that wear their natural hair, weave or braids. There is a method to the madness.
I was just interested to see all the opinions. I simply said what I said because there seems to be so many ill-informed people on this post. Mostly ignorant, but hey to each their own. 🤷🏾♀️
What's unattractive is fake hair. Too many black women have been so easily brain washed into thinking they can't grow their own hair long so they wear fake... but they do not realise what it's doing to them psychologically. Have a look for yourself. Observe the body language when she wears the fake hair convincing herself it's real... and then observe the body language when she's not wearing it and has to face reality.
I helped a black woman see through this brainwashing, and not only does she have her own hair now, but the last time I saw it I did a double take because it is so long!
None of these women wear fake hair. If you check out the YouTuber at the top she has natural hair. Many people have commented on this talking about things they have no clue about. It was a straightforward question.
That might be true for others, but not me. My hair is waist length I only wear wigs for color. My mom died for cancer so cancer runs in our family. I rather not dye my hair with harmful chemicals and increase my chances of getting cancer. I just wear a wig if I want color.
@Morenamore Do you think henna is just as bad? By the way, if cancer runs in the family then you will want to research iodine (if you don't already know about it). Iodine deficiency is linked to multiple cancers. The book 'Iodine why you need it' by David Brownstein is good. I've also lost people to cancer...
Maybe if it was massive head dress and I'd be worried about screwing it up by rolling onto it. Pass that I don't see someone covering their hair when they going to sleep being an issue. At least with it being a big head dress there would be some logic to a grievance, but I think your ex's issues ran deeper then him not liking you covering your hair when you sleep.
Might have been that he wanted to end it and didn't want to be the one to do it. So he thought driving you away was the best way out. So he nitpick everything he could and acted like a total dick to get you to end it.
Maybe... Maybe... Who knows but when I ended it he went as far as to pretend he was his "girlfriend" to ruin my birthday. Suggestion coming to a financial arrangement... Ridiculous really
I don't have a problem hence why I'm asking the question. Being a black woman this is a normal way to be. Women have worn things over their to keep it in place for years. Women especially did this when they used rollers to set their hair. Why this has become an phenomenon I really don't know... Its ignorance at its height. What I will say is that I work with English and European women and they look ghastly and pasty (their words not mine) first thing in the morning especially in the winter months here in the uk but a good hair brush and some make up and they look human... Its normal... No ones perfect.
And it goes without saying that these stars would be in nowheresville without their hairdressers and makeup artists. They are fake. And especially for B-Cardi who admitted to drugging men and robbing them when she was a Ho. A leopard can't change it's spots. so how she became famous is a mystery to me.
The fact that people think wearing a bonnet is only for wigs hahaha. My mom usually wears one and my dad thinks it's funny so he walks around the house with his own bonnet. It's pretty stupid. I think most guys dating black women don't care, some people are just ridiculous.
I'm not a man but I think that if a man really loves you he will support you and this should mean nothing to him, he will always encourage you. he will see you as beautiful no matter what. this is something childish and stupid for a man to do. I mean, what does it matter if you have to wear a scarf? but hey, before anything gets serious with a guy tell him you wear one or wear one in front of him, and if his reaction is negative dump him immediately, he's not worth your time
I don't know why it would bother someone that you wear something on your head to sleep. Did he also expect you to wear lingerie to bed every night? People don't get all dressed up to go to sleep, they wear whatever is comfy
He didn't stay with me but he when he'd come over he expected me to "dress up" for him. After a while I started to feel really cheap, like he only had one agenda.
Honestly, regardless of a man’s race if he loves you for who you are and admires you’re beauty he’s not going to stress over the little things. Your Ex that is nitpicking and attempting to break you down to pieces doesn’t have respect for you in general. A real man knows his woman isn’t a made up Barbie doll and there’s a time to look made up and a time to look cozy for bed.
Im black and dont wear those. I rarely wear fake hair but when i would try braids, i just said if they get fcked up, they get fcked up cause its too hot to sleep in a scarf. 🤣 My hair is short now but my moms hair is still really long and she sleeps in a scarf. I just can't and won’t. Do you use it to help with shine or just to avoid frizz? I sleep on silk pillowcases to maintain the shine. And that shit is hot enough.
Im saying i didn't wear them for fake or real hair. And i only wore braids for the week i’d go swimming. But do you wear them to avoid frizz or is it causs it helps with shine? Like whats the point of it?
He couldn't handle it. He abandon me when I was ill, I nearly died. I had meningitis and was severely dehydrated. What he did say was "ugh, can't you go and wash?" at this particular time I was screaming from having a severe migraine and all he cared about was how flakey my skin was... This was after I refused to sleep with him due to symptoms listed
Some guys don't like girls that take care of themselves because they are insecure and think their girl will leave them for someone better. If they look ugly then they're more secure.
Do guys really know how much of a pain it will be to get ready in the morning if the hair is not contained. If a guy doesn’t like something he needs to be willing to compromise and each person needs to do their own part to make the relationship work.
The way life works is that if you're rude, disrespectful, domineering to a guy then his patience with you falls to zero fast. If you're really loveable & giving then he thinks most stuff you do is "cute", "quirky", "sweet" and other cheesy things like that.
Some guys are addicted to vagina... and those guys will think the stuff you do is cute even if you're nasty but your boyfriend wasn't one of those... which is exactly why he voiced his opinion.
My current girlfriend goes to bed like that and it never bothered me and it never will, she always likes to sleep on my chest even when she has those things in her hair sure it hurts me but i can take it! that is true love!
That's would be like the stupidest thing to bother someone.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
going anon for this because this subject really seems like it's important to you and I dont want you to feel upset or offended. It's just for me it's not something I'd be into. It doesn't at all take away from her character but it's just for me personally not something I could get used to. But if it makes you happy that's fine and I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who won't care one bit.
you know i dated a few black girls and not one of them wore anything like that to bed but even if they did i can't say it would be anything that would put me off them.
Why so picky. No one's perfect and your willling to leave someone jus cos of a headwear you won't even see when your sleeping? Good luck finding a woman who is 100 percent perfect in everything when your probably only average yourself.
@KoolKid66 Everyone is picky, except you apparently. And your assumption that I wanted a perfect girl is, well... ignorant. And I don't need "luck" since I have a girl, with beautiful natural should length hair who doesn't have to process it at night. And no, I don't have to, nor did I, lower any standards when it came to finding a good woman.
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