Is this something I should worry about?

[Cass510]

Hey guys long story short my boyfriend and I been together for 2 years. He hasn’t done anything to make me not trust him, In fact he goes the extra mile to ensure I do by now. Anyways he has a couple female friends that were close pals that he knew since middle school days. Recently one called him up and they talked about life and catched up and another friend of his the following month. They rarely do this but he let me know about it and it was a HUGE fight because I was jealous and didn’t like it. I obsessed over how long they were on the phone and he said an hour or so. I was so upset that this conversation was exhausting. He lets me look at his phone when I please and I was looking for the time he spent on the phone and it wasn’t there I asked him where it went and he simply said “ I deleted it because I knew you would be tripping looking at the time and I didn’t wanna argue about it again” I felt more rage and wondered why he did that as if he was hiding something? Am I being too much? Help me out guys

thanks

[Shizunk]

I don't see how 1 hour vs 8 hours makes a difference. Seems like just a reaction to your pressure rather than anything suspicious. People talk. Could be every week over a beer and it's still fine. It's not impossible for the other girl to be a threat, but even from your own description it seems unlikely. Honestly if you distrusted me to this degree, I would seriously be asking why and asking you to stop. I do have female friends and some of them I even dated in the past. I am not going to stop talking to them for no reason. So if it was me, you would have no other chance than to get used to it. If I know a girl for that long, there is always a reason why I'm not with her. So in this case, you may want to ask yourself why this feels so threatening to you. If he has done nothing else suspicious, the problem may be on your side.

[Andres77]

IF he's open enough with you to let you look at his phone then he's probably not planning on doing anything with her. Just catching up is fun.
I'm a little concerned that you think you can control everything he does. That's a huge red flag for me.
Just let it go.
If this is the kind of "love" that he's going to get in the future then hearing you say "I love you" is going to sound like "I'll show you what I say is love and you'd better accept it or else".
You're the one with self-esteem and control and anger issues.
And all you're going to do is push him away, right into someone else's arms.
Lighten up.

[Anonymous]

So you are getting upset with the fact he talked on the phone with one of his female friends whom he has been friends with a lot longer than you 2 have been together man I thought I was crazy

No it’s not something you should be worried about it’s not like he hid the fact he talked to his friends and it’s not like he his how long they spoke for from you he even lets you look at his phone girl work on your insecurities and your lack of trust because you will push him away and you will drive him to hide things from you if you keep blowing up at home for talking to his female friends

[Cass510]

So I shouldn’t worry that he deleted their phone log convo?

[Opinion Owner]

No because at the end of the day You are the one who is pushing him to delete things and hide things from you he done the right thing by being honest with you about talking to them and how long he talked to them for he even let you look at his phone and it resulted in you blowing up at him so I don’t blame him for deleting the phone log cause he knows you are just gonna go crazy and blow up at him

[chubbybear33]

Oh man, your behavior has lead me to cheat on people I otherwise never would have.
That is just pushing him away. You are also taking away his masculinity and sense of independence away. I would say that this behavior should lead to a break up sooner rather than later. Its purely abusive and women shouldn't tolerate it from men either.

If you really want this relationship to work then you have to be willing to let go of the jealousy and get help for it. It will be a problem in every relationship you have

[Cass510]

So him deleting their phone call on his log isn’t weird?

[chubbybear33]

To be honest I've had a girlfriend like you. She went through my phone everyday. I ended up having to delete all social media, remove people from my contacts, delete every text everyday.
She went as far as to accuse me of cheating because a cousin of mine she didn't know about yet texted me.

So yeah it seems weird but you set the environment. He doesn't want conflict so he has to take extreme measures.

I also don't know your particular situation so I'm basing this off of my experience. Anything is possible. You need to be able to identify what's being created in your head vs reading body language and behaviors from him correctly.

[chubbybear33]

Overall if your instinct tells you something then i would follow that.
It may not be right but your body is telling you something

[shepardmaddison]

No offense but it's pretty controlling... I have also female friends from school and university and I would never think of them as girlfriends, specially if I had a girlfriend I love. So I think you don't habe any reason to worry about

[boggboss]

Yes because u are insecure and have issues trusting him you are policing him he has never given u reason to question him and u still think he is being shady

[noohair]

I would have an issue with someone as insecure as you. It would be exhausting.

[Backseatvibing]

I would have my guard up