Is this something I should be concerned about?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is very friendly with my friends. And he's a gamer. I just don't know if he likes likes them cause he adds them on other gaming platforms and games with them. He told one of our friends that "I'll add you on there so I can bully you some more"

I don't know he seems very sweet and attentive to me but I don't know just seemed weird to say to my friends.


I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. I confronted him on it and he said he's being friendly with my friends cause they are my friends. He said he cares for me and loves me but I don't believe that for a second.

We met on vrchat, and have been dating for a month. He's been sweet and not sexual with me not pressuring me which is a green flag for me.

I confronted him on it and I told him I noticed he was interested in my friends more than me. He assured me that he says he talks to them cause they are my friends. But they are females... he would get interested in them at some point. He says he really likes me, he is sending me stuff for Christmas.

He said it in the discord server that we are all in. And he knows i can see it. I know he isn't perfect... I don't know maybe I'm thinking too far in it. But yesterday I was ready to break things off. But he wanted to work it out and he really wants to meet me.

Updates

1 y

I want to say this is all online from a game we all met each other.

[ohsheeT]

I guess only time will tell what is that virtual site I would love to chat with somebody on a virtual site

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that sounds like a really concerning situation with your boyfriend there. I can totally understand why you'd be feeling upset and worried about the way he's interacting with your friends.

The comment he made about wanting to "bully" one of them more is definitely a red flag. That's not the kind of friendly, respectful behavior you want to see, especially when it's directed at your friends. It makes it seem like he might have ulterior motives or be trying to exert some kind of control.

And the fact that he's getting all buddy-buddy with your female friends, even though he's supposed to be dating you, is also super sketchy. Even if he claims it's just because they're your friends, it still feels like he's trying to put way too much energy into those relationships instead of focusing on you.

I know you said you met online in VRChat and have only been dating a month, but that's still not an excuse for him to be acting this way. Healthy relationships are built on trust, mutual respect, and making your partner feel like a priority.

You were right to confront him about it. His response of just saying he cares about you and wants to meet up doesn't really address the core issue here. He needs to give you a lot more reassurance and transparency about his intentions with your friends.

Honestly, I'd be really cautious about continuing this relationship. This kind of behavior from a new partner is a huge red flag, and it's only been a month. I'd hate to see you get even more invested and then have things blow up in an even messier way down the line.

Trust your gut on this one, girl. If he can't give you a really solid explanation and commitment to respecting your boundaries, you might be better off cutting your losses now. You deserve so much better than a boyfriend who's more interested in bullying your friends.