Have you ever dated someone so long distance that you had to fly to see them or vice versa?

[coachTanthony]

[MrOracle]

No, but when I was 20 I dated a girl for a year and drove 240 miles each way every weekend to see her, before moving to be with her. Never again.

I can't say this often enough: DATE LOCALLY (ONLY)!

The whole point of dating someone is to spend time with them, NOT to spend time with your phone. I strongly recommend not dating anyone who can't get to you, or vice versa, within 15 minutes. Otherwise, you won't be able to see each other enough and that's going to cause problems for you.

It's one thing if you are married and have a strong commitment and one of you has to be away for work, military deployment, or to care for a family member or something, but even that is dangerous to the relationship, and that's with a strong commitment!

Studies have shown that when you are apart for more than about 90 days, your brain's grieving mechanism kicks in and starts to emotionally separate you from the other person, which destroys your motivation to maintain the massive effort needed to sustain a long distance relationship.

Be smart and only date locally!

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

That's why the commitment needs to be there before deciding to get into a LDR. Because they CAN work when both parties are on the same page. And you can date locally and still feel like you're in a relationship alone. Been there, done that, got the keychain to prove it.

[MrOracle]

@ShaTTeredMasterpeace You are arguing the EXCEPTION, I'm arguing the rule. There are always a few exceptions to anything, but too many people grasp at the 1% and say "it's POSSIBLE" while ignoring the 99% that says "it's extremely unlikely."

[MCheetah]

Yes. I had a LDR with a girl from England, who was briefly living in the US, but went back to England. This was the wealthy, crazy, sociopathic, older lady in her early 30s, who I briefly mentioned before. Though I wouldn't consider a LDR to be a real, actual relationship. She had the means to fly to the US on the weekend, whenever she wanted, as her parents were worth tens of millions of dollars as pharmaceutical execs. But she still never did. It was "too much work" for her. And mind you, this was before COVID. Ah, she was crazy anyway, so I didn't care about her too much.

[lilyanony1]

I had a boyfriend in Turkey I planned to visit him but my mum stopped me from going. She insisted he wasn't genuine and put the fear into me that he was going to kidnap me or something silly.
Knowing I don't make friends so easily and speak so little Turkish I really didn't want to end up stranded if something went terribly wrong.

I don't think things would have gone that way but I panicked because a month after I cancelled my trip he started to try to convert me to Islam sending all this stuff about the prophet mohammed and talking about the kurdish people and sounded really angry.

I had met his parents over Skype prior and his sister they were really sweet especially his sister who I spoke to every now and then.
He tried to commit suicide 3 weeks after we broke up. His sister called me. I was devastated.

He was spiralling. I sensed something was up before I cancelled my trip but i thought it was his desperation to see me.
He was in the military 18-21. I Don't think it did him any good.

[coachTanthony]

Yeah looks like you dodged a bullet there.

[lilyanony1]

It's sad really. I do think he loved me. I certainly loved him.
But with hindsight he was lost.
Things are a mess in Turkey. He didn't seek professional mental help which is what he needed for what I would say was ptsd.
He knew that I would have to convert to marry him and that's what that was all about. But as I said to him he knew I didn't have a religion and before. We discussed that I wouldn't convert which is what I discussed with his parents.
I told them that they and he would have to respect that and they were OK so long as I allowed him to practice his religion and I observed the rules that come with that. In the event we had kids they would be Muslim and I told him that they could learn but nothing harsh that felt like they would disrespect me.

This sudden change was his mental instability.
It was scary because everything we spoke about was almost like it didn't happen. He himself didn't want to be Muslim. I think its a combination of things. Not finding a stable job to stop his dad pushing him to work at the bank with him, his family pressuring him to marry. And then them saying he wasn't being respectful of the religion.
When we met he wasn't living with his parents. But he moved back 6 months after we met because the work he was doing dried up.
😢
I hope he's better now. Last time I spoke to his sister, she said he was engaged, but when I congratulated him, he messaged me on Facebook and said they're no longer together this was a year ago.
He needs to move.

[kingykringy]

That’s quite a story…

[friendlypelican]

as a kurdish girl whose people are being gassed to death, bombed and murdered, hello. please dont listen to him. he sounds very radicalised. also please dont hate kurdish people :( we just want somewhere safe so we aren't mass murdered by 4 countries consecutively every year…

[lilyanony1]

I'm not interested in fighting or killing anyone.
This is not my fight.
I would rather we could all find peace and harmony in this world.
What he thinks, what he feels that is on him.
As you read we do not share the same thoughts and feelings

[susie22]

My boyfriend lives about 230 miles away, and we both have weird work schedules, so we make things work by either driving or flying to be together when we get a few days. I'm fortunate that my job allows me access to aircraft, that makes things a lot easier.

[Guardian45]

Your job helps. I had NO such access and I was poor!

[ludorock]

Yes. My partner and I lived nearly 3,000 miles apart for three years. We say each other for a long weekend every other month. I was in the military so if I ever left the area (even on weekends and holidays) I had to take leave, so he always came to visit me, but we split the airfare cost.

We are still happily married and very much in love, but I would never willingly do that again. It was awful.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Nope. Don't do long distance dating...

[KieranByrne]

I am currently 'Talking' to someone who lives in Ukraine, we say 'Morning' and 'Good night' we do also check to see how each others day's are going, and if each other are both OK!
I would not call it 'Dating' as such, more 'wishing the best' or keeping an eye out for one another!

If things change, then it will be kind of hard, but there is always trouble when 'Dating' long distance!

We do not send 'nudes' or anything like that! Strictly messaging, and if the day ever arise of talking on the phone, or face to face meeting. I hope the person is whom they say they are!

Going cold is tough, but the person is quite 'Intellectual'

Thank you for your question!

[KieranByrne]

Edit: I live in the U. K!

[Jamie05rhs]

I would not be willing to "fly" to see someone on a regular basis, because I am an environmentalist and I do not wish to contribute to pollution. I personally feel okay with flying on an airplane every once in a while (maybe once a year or less), but I don't want to make a habit of it.

If I fall in love with someone who lives across the country, and if it's a one-time thing to meet her to see if we like each other in person, then I will fly. But that is something I would do on only a rare occasion and a special circumstance.

I live in the Mid-Atlantic (DC region), so there are many cities that are medium-distance away from me and that have airports that I could easily catch a flight to. However, I would rather drive there, just because I think that has less of a carbon footprint.

[Jxy95]

Yeah... it was very hard. My ex and I were 9000 miles/14000km apart! I liked him and didn't mind flying 21 hrs to see him. But I guess it all got too hard, he wanted someone close by and not someone living so far away. After we broke up for a while, he messaged me again saying he missed me but by that time I already have a boyfriend. I guess if it weren't the distance we could of been happily living together. We both agreed some distance would of been fine, but not 9000 miles away...

[DiegoO]

Wow, you win me by a 1000 miles.

[msc545]

Yes, I have. A few years back I was living in Los Angeles, and I met a woman from Mexico City at a party, and we really hit it off and spent about a month together. Sadly, though, she had a business in Mexico City and could not move to the US, and I had a practice in Los Angeles and could not move to Mexico City. So we spoke on the phone a lot, and every other weekend I would fly to Mexico City and spend 3 or 4 days with her. Mexico City is *great*! She would occasionally come to LA, but we both liked Mexico better. We traveled all over Mexico when we had vacation time which we took together. In the end, we didn't work out, but for about 18 months life was very good for me. I never minded the travel at all.

[tilmyheadblows]

I met my partner online in a gaming group. He lived in the same continent, on the opposite side in another country. We met irl twice and now we're married and live together.

[LikeALog]

Yes, my job required frequently visiting the small city she lived in. It was a two hour flight and an hour and a half drive. After that job was completed, I flew there as often as I could. Eventually, we decided that she should move and join me. We are happily married now.

[BossThe2nd]

Yes, I dated two such people in my life.
But I was working as an external contractor, so every time I just stayed in the country for the maximum duration allowed for me as a non-citizen (3 months).

[exitseven]

I dated somebody for 3 years that lived 1500 miles away. I drove the first time I visited her but flew after that. She took the bus once when she saw me but flew the other times.

[friendlypelican]

im currently in this situation. we live 14,000 km apart. we are doing really well actually covid is making it hard to go see him but other than that both of us are happy.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Actually yes a long time ago he lived in Chicago when I was in law school. Didn’t last that long. And a boyfriend in Austria back in high school but he flew in to see me.

[Aethereal]

I'm doing that now. I'd have moved to her country by now if not for the pandemic, and the fact that her country is closed to non-essential travel i. e. no tourists.

[menina]

No. But at this point if I wanted to date it would have to be a long distance relationship since I can't date local men.

[Prettygurl12]

While we were engaged, my husband was in the UK while I was in the US but that was only for a few months... but I guess it counts lol

[NathanDavis]

nope, not my style...

well, not my payroll... I can't afford private jets on a weekly basis, lmao

[girlinthemirror]

Yes i did. I met my boyfriend in my country, after several years he had to go back to usa and we tried to get us visa for me, but something went wrong and i didn't get it twice, so we met twice a year in some warm countries for several weeks.

[Anonymous]

No but if I ever do I hope he’s loyal asf and would do that for me.

[AviatorTom]

Fly? NO. I did date a girl when I was much younger who was a 3-hour drive away. It was a nice summer fling. Didn't last beyond that.

[jekyllhyde]

Yup. Went to the east coast the first time. Another relationship I went to the other side of the world. Got manipulated and used. Not stretching my neck for that particular reason anymore.