I'm dating a gaurded man, n I'm not sure how much to let him know what's going on in my life. Should I let him know of problems, thoughts, other guy?

[Anonymous]

We don't live together or see each other much. I just don't know if he wants to hear that kind of stuff or will it make him feel like his opinion matters n it does. I'm just been super independent n very use to handling things on my own.

[caring__1]

People are guarded because they've experienced too many negative unexpected surprises. The more you keep him in the dark, the more he'll see you as a repeat of his past. I'm not saying to lay everything on the table in one sitting, but show him you are willing to be an open book to him. Let him know you are willing to answer any questions he might have, and then give him honest answers. Present the answers as how you've discovered opportunities rather than how you've encountered obstacles. People tend to be reluctant to start off a relationship with significant dark clouds above them. Show him how you're moving forward rather than focus on your unchangeable past. I'm not saying to be a Pollyanna, but don't be a Debbie Downer, either.

[hahahmm]

Of course he's guarded. He thinks you're sucking off some other dude, and he's right. Or at the very least you are not interested in him enough to be exclusive. And if you told him there's another guy the message you're sending is, "You're not interesting enough for me to focus on you" which will push him away. But it's also not fair to be dating multiple dudes at the same time if one of them thinks you're exclusive. I'm not saying that happens after 1 date but at some point it does, especially if you're giving the guy a lot of time. Of course if he never asks for exclusivity then maybe he's not that interested either.

[Asker]

No I'm not with any other guy. I mean if another guy hits on me or messages me. I turn them all away n down telling them I'm happily taken and I am. I just don't know if my boyfriend wants to hear or know all that stuff.

[hahahmm]

If you talk about that it can send the message that you're trying to make him jealous. Guys don't want to know every time a random dude hits on you. Unless that guy was rude AND you want your boyfriend to get involved like someone is harassing you all the time.

[hahahmm]

Not saying mentioning a guy trying to hit on you once in a blue moon is a big deal. But every day/week would be too much.

[Asker]

Ok so then when should one say something? I have 1 that keeps messaging me, saying I want you, ik you want me, come see me, drop him, he won't know, etc. At least like 1 a week or 1 a month n I always just text back n say no not gonna happen I'm not like that. N thats it he doesn't text back. But again I'm independent told him no, so why should I bother in telling my boyfriend I handled it.

[hahahmm]

I wasn't saying you have to tell your boyfriend. I thought you were asking if you should. Anyhow, with the guy who keeps contacting you: you should just ignore him 100% - block and stop responding. Some guys think they have a chance BECAUSE you respond at all.

[Anonymous]

maybe he's an undercover man maybe he's on the down low

[alleon]

I love that!! That’s hilarious lolol really it made me laugh 😂😂

[Opinion Owner]

I'm glad you liked it

[Iron_Man]

You can give him a little bit of a taste

[Asker]

I've done that, n he gives his honest answers and I appreciate that but have no clue what it makes him think or feel

[Iron_Man]

Think about it maybe you don’t wanna relationship with him

[Asker]

No I really do! I'm just not good at opening up about me n my life. I've always taken care of me my son and anyone I was with. I've told him before I can talk all day long about life n stupid things, but I don't talk about me n my life cause I've always handeld it on my own. This is my 1st time being with someone who doesn't wear their heart on their sleeve.

[Iron_Man]

That’s awesome just take things slowly but surely

[In_Trance]

whatever works for ya

[Asker]

Idc either way, if he wants to know I'm open to share and ask for advice. Just don't want to share things that may make him feel a type of way