How do I let him know I am in a relationship without embarrassing myself or hurting his feelings if he does have them for me?

[DelightfulFairy]

I watch a lot of livestreams on twitch and yt. Recently I started talking with a guy and we also game together (only texting and voice calls when we game. We leave in different countries). He seems to be teasing everyone and teases me too and some times I think he might be flirting too 'cause he calls me cute and stuff like that but because of his personality in general I can't be sure. The thing is I like his company and I want to be honest with him and let him know I am in a relationship but since I am not sure if he is indeed flirting I don't know how to let him know without embarrassing myself or hurting his feelings if he does have them for me. How do I let him know? I don't wanna lead him on and as time passes, he might get his hopes up! Help!

Updates

+1 y

I ended up mentioning my partner a couple times and felt like all was ok but I kept talking to him and I am pretty sure he has mistaken my kindness and the fact that I like gaming with him as having a crush on him. So it is about time I cut communication completely unless I see him in the community we both belong to. Thanks for your input everyone.

[Anonymous]

Just stop talking to him. You two are coworkers, classmates or anything that makes him difficult to avoid in person. He’s some dude on the internet you really don’t have to interact with. I get what you mean about not wanting to make assumptions because some men get their pride hurt and act mean or cold in response, and that’s definitely avoidable. You don’t owe him an explanation and who knows how much he’s even care. Your boyfriend is the priority, not him.

[DelightfulFairy]

I mostly agree with you. Like the part that I owe him no explanation and that my boyfriend is my priority is 100% what I think also. But I am having fun playing video games with this guy. Plus, it was always a dream of mine to have people to game with and have fun like that with. Also, the community I met him in is important to me as it got me through a lot and he is a big part of that community so I can't exactly avoid him unless I am to stop being part of that community which I am not willing to do.

[DelightfulFairy]

Maybe I can spend less time talking to him but completely cutting him of is really a no from me.

[Opinion Owner]

So you didn’t ask, but fun fact about me, I was also a gamer. I don’t play much anymore, but through my 20s I did a lot. I was part of a community for one specific game, even made an IG page for content that got over 5k follows. I peaked 2016-2018, made some great friends, some I still talk to. But at the beginning of last year I retired a lot of that. I got into a relationship and found I had more fun hanging out with him. Ofc my gamer guy friends didn’t like it, we used to have so much fun, make teams, stay up crazy hours, even watch movies together in parties lol. Real life mattered more though, and I would tell you to keep that fact in perspective. Gamer friends are fun, but when you disconnect and lay down, who’s next to you? Your partner. Who’s consoling you through hard times and being there in ways that guy online never could? So while I understand your position, I think some things matter more. This dude online, it’s just not worth disrespecting yours partner when you know he’s being flirty and giving you attention he has no place giving. There’s so many other people you can meet, play with and have a more respectful dynamic. You don’t have to give everything up, just this guy who may already have the wrong idea about your friendship.

[DelightfulFairy]

Well, I get where you're coming from and I definitely believe you are one of the best people to take advise from since we kind of have similar stories. Taking everything you said into account, I agree with you. Though, I am not completely sure that he is flirting, I will make it clear to him that I have a partner and am not interested in anything more than a friendship and if he doesn't respect it, well as you said, my partner is more important.

[Opinion Owner]

I think you know it’s flirting, but don’t want to make that assumption as to verbally acknowledge it with him and I get that. In any case, setting boundaries is important. You can find a way to mention your boyfriend if being direct is uncomfortable, just be sure no matter what the message is clear.

[DelightfulFairy]

You were completely right with everything. I mentioned my partner a couple times and felt like all was ok but I kept talking to him and I am pretty sure he has mistaken my kindness and the fact that I like gaming with him as having a crush on him. So it is about time I cut communication completely unless I see him in the community we both belong to. Thanks for your input. I was too excited I had a gaming buddy to actually admit to myself you were right. Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry to hear it came to that. I get the excitement over having a gaming buddy, that’s why I had joined the community I was in and there were times when it could be a lot of fun. Unfortunately though it’s hard to be one on one with a guy gamer. Maybe if it’s a few guys, but 9/10 if you’re the only girl you get targeted with flirting and hit on in some way. I think those guys are just too much of introverts, so they aren’t meeting women and hone in on the ones who “give them attn” online when really you’re just trying to play the game. Hopefully you can find someone more respectful to play with❤️

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Casually bring up your boyfriend in conversation

"Do you like skiing? My boyfriend and I are going this weekend. I can't wait."

Something like that

[DelightfulFairy]

That makes sense. I was thinking to do it this way too. But for some reason I am scared to do so. I believe it might be best to do it like that though. Thank you.

[FeelingGroovy]

Best answer.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Sure thing! It'll be fine 😊

[Stevefiveo]

Just casually mention it.