If a guy who turned you down liked you again, would you date him?

Question

I used to like a guy from work who was not allowed to date me because of his job and I tried to get in touch with him after I got laid off but he would never talk to me cause he was worried that if I returned to my old position, he would get fired for dating me. Since then, I’ve begun to lose interest in him because it’s been a year and a half but he keeps creating new profiles to check up on a fake LinkedIn account of mine which he alone knows about - No photo and a fake name, nobody knows about the account other than him, so I wonder if he still likes me because he keeps checking up on me and trying to do it in secret. I just think that with how good my life is, he might not be the best match for me now.

Moose304 · Accepted Answer

I made a comment in another question that men generally don't settle and I am going to continue to stand by this opinion. There are two basic kinds of men. Men that love unconditionally and will stand by their woman and will support her. Then there are "players"! Because I don't consider myself a "player" I will just say this. I am asked out a lot by women, most of the time these same women on later dates will actually cook for me. When I turn a woman down it is because she is doing something that turns me off. I'm not going to articulate my turn-offs here! In this situation, I am not going to then flip and contact her later. I also HIGHLY recommend you do not allow a male to do this. There is a fantastic chance you are dealing with a player!

Mangospacho · Accepted Answer

That’s pretty much how my wife and I ended up together.

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

Probably not. Besides the fact that I'm not interested in dating at all anymore, even hypothetically if I was, I would have most likely moved on and lost interest by the time he returned to me. Plus, I know enough people who get desperate and settle for the first chance of a relationship they get that I'd be very leery of whether or not he was truly interested in me, or was just using me as a placeholder until he found something he liked better. I would never be interested in entertaining the latter.

Kkoalalita · Accepted Answer

Depends

Account · Answer

I wouldn't. I want people I am interested in to prioritize me. If he didn't prioritize me in the past, who says that he will do it now?
I can acknowledge that work is very important, however, my ego doesn't allow me to be on the back-burner.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Only if he turned me down because he was interested in someone else or not interested in a relationship at the time. But no I've had a guy turn me down for a very different reason. A racial one. And now he acts all interested and says he's more openminded now. Lmao in other words, he no longer cares about pleasing his mommy who disapproved of interracial dating or else he's watched some interracial porn and probably started fetishizing. He can kiss my ass. Im much happier without him and with someone who actually is openminded and doesn't let racial factors depict their decision

FlutteringFeelings · Answer

Personally, I lose interest very quick and I’ll take the first ‘no’ and walk away for eternity. It’s impossible for a guy to ‘like you again’ when he turned you down. If he was genuinely interested, the moment you expressed your interested he would instantly take the opportunity to get to know you. Men rarely turn a woman down that they’re interested in and I’m speaking from experience. If a man ever turns me down that’s the end of them and I’m onto the next guy. Never wait around for a man who decided to use you as his backup plan once his first plan failed through. The woman he was interested in is gone and he remembered someone who was more interested in him than he was in her. Run.

Once he finds someone that is his cup of tea he’ll turn you down once more and the cycle continues.

VianneRoscher · Answer

I'd say no, but my experience told me I go for the irrational solution 😄 That is to say, I gave another chance (didn't work out though).
In your case, I think you're both grown ups. Why play all those games? If he likes you, why not be a man and take you on a date? What is that teenage-girl behavior for?

Sleeptalk · Answer

Honestly no, I would not. By the time I've been rejected, I would been already working on myself... trying to forget him and making myself better. By the time he comes back again I would've lost interest. You said it's been a year and a half? That's way too long. I would just move on if I were you. He had stalker vibes going on too without contacting you

ChiTown33 · Answer

No. You only get one shot at dating me. If you were truly interested in me you would never have rejected the first chance now would you. I had this one girl I asked out reject me. A year later she came back and asked me out and I rejected her. And she said "oh, you're already seeing someone"? And I said "no". :::Short pause::: then she says awkwardly "oh". 🤣

lilaccc · Answer

better not before he can hurt me again in the future ( aka broke up lol)

crazy8000 · Answer

I wouldn't stay around someone that comes with that lame excuse.

People that ends up in that kind of job situation finds work around to initiate relationship if they really have strong feelings of the right kind. some even ignore the rules for a while and then do the work around when it hits of.

aintnocandle · Answer

I think the reason why he turned away from you could be a real reason. I’d give him another chance if I really liked him. If you don’t want him then there’s not much more to it.

all_hayl · Answer

Based on what you have said here, I’d go with my gut if I were in your shoes. Almost sounds like stalker-like activity. Maybe even block him (though I don't know if you can block people on LI). Sounds like drama that you don’t want/need.

LinaDaGoddess · Answer

I would wonder what made him “suddenly” see an interest in me that he missed the first time… But probably not because I’d feel like a second option.

Blackcupcake · Answer

nope I’d lose interest, and it wouldn’t simply come back just because he started liking me

Anonymous · Answer

Is he a tsundere? Gawd damn tsunderes. Technically me... shit... lol.

Okay back to the actual topic, I would say just go with whatever you think you should do, just based on what you know bout em.
Dunno.
If you over it and you feelin gud about yo life right now, might be best to leave it be as is, but if its bothering you maybe meet up once see how they doin see if ju feel any connection or anythin with em and then go with flow.

Marhaban-1 · Answer

I would only date them if i could see me been with them for life

Cowboy6666 · Answer

I won't if the girl turned me down. I will move on.

heytakeiteasy · Answer

No, but I'd be cordial

Grubhub · Answer

Yeah I would t do it. I don’t trust people with their intentions

WowwGirl · Answer

No but I'd rub it in his face he didn't

Toldol2 · Answer

He had valid and responsible reasons.

JosyJosy · Answer

No I would have moved on already

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