How does a man find a girlfriend?

[JessieBellll]

I know a guy who is turning 25 in 3 months and he didn't have a girlfriend yet. How does a guy like that find a girlfriend?

[Bobsyoruncle]

Phase #1 you need to work on your game. Identify your weak points... Overweight? Lose some weight. A weakling? Hit the gym. Dorky looking? Do your best to clean up your LOOK. Dorky sounding? Clean it up your ACT, or cultivate a more ‘strong, silent type’ persona.

This is going to be the work of at LEAST a year. Don’t even TRY to score with regular (non-whore) women during this phase. Continue all self-improvement measures, layering on new phases as you reach them.

Phase #2 get laid once and get that damn virginity monkey off your back once and for all. Jack off all you want during this phase because the operative word with respect to getting laid was ONCE.

In 60 days get laid again, then again a couple of weeks later TWICE, no more. You can still jack off, but not every single time you have an erection. You need to occasionally feel some ‘edge’.

After 90 days you can get laid ONCE going forward every 30 days and jack of sparingly from time to time. Adjust this schedule as required by your individual nature so that you feel a strong, constant, nagging desire to copulate.

Phase #3 Get off your ass and circulate. ‘10-3-1’ For every 10 dates get to second base with 3, fuck 1.

Rack up a body count of at least 5 before you ever date the same woman twice. Avoid the puppy love romance crap. Nature, or God, designed you to spread your seed, you can’t do that moping around with one single ‘love of your life’.

Maybe later you’ll find someone who you want to throw your single life away for, maybe not. Doesn’t really matter, at least you’ll have developed the ability to function as a male.

And, if you haven’t figured it out yet, all the aforementioned ‘getting laid’ is with ‘working girls’. And NEVER the same one twice.

Don’t screw around with ‘dating’ until Phase #3, and then remember your (10-3-1) drill.

Don’t get cocky and fuck around with more than one girl at a time until at least 3 years have passed, you’ve completed all your phases and are functioning like a well oiled machine with one-at-a-time girls. Screwing more than one woman at a time is over-rated and an invitation to problems.

Leave the fancy crap to the horn-dog greaseballs with something to prove.

This... Or, just settle for getting your rocks off with working girls. They’re more reliable and cheaper than dating and WAY cheaper and less of a pain in your ass than a wife over time.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

This is really helpful. I will strictly follow it to the point.

[Bobsyoruncle]

@The_Shadow_Dweller

Blueprints are good, but don’t die on ANY hills.

Adjust Fire as required.

Good luck!

[Fireguy17]

first, he has to want to be in a relationship.
It can be surprising the number of people out there are fine being single.
I was for years.
I could come and go as I pleased, always meeting new people, motorcycle trips across the US, Canada & Mexico, building the new engine for the latest stock car in my living room, as well as a couple of motorcycles, yes, I put plywood down so I wouldn't make a mess.
Hard to do with someone else living there.
But, if you/he is truly looking to be in a relationship then the hard work begins.
It isn't like a Hallmark movie where the new stranger wearing a flannel shirt moves into town and becomes friends with the hot chick, but then she sees/hears/finds out something that isn't correct, usually it is his sister, and they are close, backs away, they talk it out and end up undressing each other with their teeth.
Dating sites, the better ones where people are serious about finding the right person, not a hook up.
You need to be honest with what you are saying about yourself, and what/who you are looking for.
Endless first dates until you say screw it, put on a flannel shirt and move into a small town and end up bagging the hot chick.

[Dana223]

Dating app sounds good though I suggest to take one that's not free (aka. freemium). If he's determined then he should not economize on that 10 bucks or whatever they charge. I'm sure the time you save with sparing cheap dating apps is worth those dollars. Also because whoever pays for it has more serious intentions than collecting swipe-to-rights.

In real life: just make sure she's not in a hurry, in the first place. Talk to her if you think she has the time for it. Go to a community where you literally have something in common to talk about -> implies to find a hobby.

[Louis-1]

NO, I am sure he tried tinder if he is desperate, and there wil be less women on such premium dating apps as well

actually they are the problem even, a girl wil have hundreds of matches, a guy, even moderatly attractive ones, even really attractive ones that are not doctors or engineers or business owners, wil only have a couple,
these apps, and i do use them because everyone does certainly now, are what made dating harder to begin with, it became a meat market, and in the end girls often end up having had nothing but fuckbois that look good but are gone immediatly and guys like the one in question have had nothing but rejection,

the real solution is exercise and getting out there, and that is not a guarantee either

[Dana223]

Thanks for MHO 💖

[dustybiker]

Put an add out in the local paper with a positive image. “Single man looking for first love. Good guy. Friends recommend him. Are you the one?” He’d get replies. A lot of quiet and desperate woman out there too. Doing something unique like that could work.

[ManOnFire]

He can simply be more sociable, and it doesn't matter where. Be charismatic. Be friendly. Include a good dose of humor in your dialog, and a little light flirting. Make the girl comfortable. These never get old.

[Heartache0405]

I’ve only had 4 relationships in my 25 years of living. Two I met online and happened to have been able to meet in person. Jumped into those far too quick without getting to know them and they both cheated on me. The other two I had I met in high school. A few friends got us to talk and got us to exchange #s and she was very lonely and emo and the first text she ever sent me was I love you even tho she didn’t even know me yet. The other girl I dated from high school was the only one who admitted to liking me. Had asked me to homecoming which we went to along with her best friend. And eventually she asked if we could date and I decided to give it a chance. Shouldn’t have though because I wasn’t interested at all and felt horrible for breaking up the day after Valentine’s Day. When I tried to see where things would go with this girl who I met in college who I thought was going to be my next girlfriend ended up falsely accusing me for staking claiming I made her fear for her life when I did no such thing. Served me an ex parte PPO which I fought to change into a temporary restraining order and we never spoke again. That’s when I gave up on love and relationships entirely and after almost 6 years I just can’t see myself in a happy relationship.


People who have been single for too long are the hardest to love. Because they become so used to being single, independent and self sufficient, that it would take something absolutely extraordinary to convince them that they need you in their life. That’s where I am

[Fromdusktilldawn]

come on dude "only" 4?

[Heartache0405]

Only 4. 4 pointless relationships for me to realize they were never worth it in the first place

[Anonymous]

Need a lot more context here. First off if you are a woman NEVER ever assume dating is the same way for guys as it is for you when all else is equal.

I had countless women make offhanded extremely ignorant remarks to be about being single when I was growing up and in my 20s. My mother was the worst about this. She was born as a beautiful woman and never in her life had to deal with rejection. I on the other hand have been rejected dozens of times including being publicly humiliated (2 to 3 times). But more often than not I had to deal with friendzone bullshit which is actually the worst form of rejection.

Anyway most semi attractive and especially very attractive woman don’t have the slightest clue on what men have to put up with on this. They almost never get turned down unless the guy is already take or they have ulterior motives (e. g. gold diggers) and the guys senses it.

So before I give advice about your friend you need to be brutally honest about his background. Is he attractive? What’s his personality like? Is he smart? Educated? Has a good job?

[Diodoro]

I guess it depends why he's never had one.
My younger brother has never had a girlfriend and he is 29, turning 30 this month.

He's also non verbal autistic. Lives with my parents because he's not capable of living without them just yet.

Obviously an extreme minority example lol. But that's just a point to say you don't know what's going on inside his head. There might be some serious reasons that doesn't allow him to get a girl

It's also possible he has a dating life and he just does not want to have a girlfriend. I went multiple years just playing the field. Didn't want a girlfriend, even though I could have had one at any point in time

[Red_Dawn123]

Well. The best advice I can give is for him to go out and socialize. It’ll might be Awkward at first, if he’s not super extroverted, but even if he is shy/introverted then maybe he’ll get the hang of it. Confidence with people comes with practice. The more he interacts with people the more comfortable he’s likely to be. That will pass over to confidence in social situations (like romantic opportunities) Women like confidence. But also equally important…he has to be himself. Because any façade he may put on will eventually fade and people need to like you for who you are.

[CalogeroValledolmo]

Lots of factors involved with that. If he has attitudes about women and life that impact the pleasantness of his society, he should resolve them.

But I would generally say one needs to cultivate good self soothing methods, and cultivate themselves and hope to find someone later. Cultivate interests, virtues, hobbies, et cetera. The telos of life is to enjoy it, so start now. That inevitably attracts people to you, because it's a natural choice to join someone who looks like they're having a fun time already.

[TexasRed95]

So I'm 26 and never dated before. My situation is probably a bit different than most. My dad left us and I had to work 18-20 hours a day for the past 4 years to support my mom and younger sister. I don't have my own vehicle because I never had time to learn or money to get a car. I didn't have time and I have just never been good at socializing in general. And now I feel like I don't have what it takes to be with someone. I have tried meeting women but they never show interest and I don't know how to get them interested.

[lilyanony1]

Umm well does he have hobbies?
A good social life?
Does he get the opportunity to spend time in an area that isn't close to his home?
Does he have family from another town?
Does he put himself out there and approach a person that he finds attractive?
I think it's incredibly hard to find love these days and you really have to play your cards close to your heart.

[integrale77]

Takes a bit of luck to be honest!

If you don't have a dating profile create one then create a profile as a man pick an average picture and see how long it takes to get 100 emails on your profile and compare that time to the male profile to get 1-2 genuine emails.

To extend on that send some messages from the male profile and see how many get a response?

[Effably]

Is there anything truly wrong with him? Plenty of people delay relationships for sensible reasons or simply a lack of interest.

Most people who remain single while wanting to have a partner do so not due to an inability to attract others but due to not meeting enough new people.

If after a dozen dates things are still stuck at no progress or if he can't get a date despite actively trying that is when one can look for alternate solutions or fixing glaring issues he may have.

[kellytheman]

My opinion is to go out with a wingman or winggirl and have them help him to find a girl he likes and talk him up factual of course and girl might be interested. There is also dating sites like tinder but those are hit and miss and you might cost some money.

[SupremeWarlord]

Most people meet their lovers through friends and friends of friends. He can go out to social settings and meet people there, but I think he has more chances if he goes with some people he knows already, going alone to meet people alone is very hard, and probably creepy to women, I don't know, you could help him with that.

My strategy is to put a sign in front of my house saying "I desperately need a girlfriend", because I don't have many friends.

[DWornock]

If you believe you would be doing well, it is difficult to impossible. However, it is easy if you see a girl that would think she is doing well. In that case, when you get her attention, ask her a non-threatening question. If she answers and doesn't quickly leave, you can invite her to have coffee, tea, ice cream, etc. with you. It doesn't matter is she has a boyfriend because she will dump her boyfriend for you, an upgrade.

[DiegoO]

I can only explain my experience.

My closest experience was a 3y LDR. From there on, I honestly haven't known how to procede. I mean, my priorities are far over the necesity of finding a partner. Also, I am introvert. Social gatherings draine me out pretty fast. Is why I rather don't socialize much.

🔝Top priorities:
✔️Have emotional stability.
✔️Take care of my mom (she has a chronic illness). ✔️Assure my financial future.

[Xoirwinkan]

I am 27 and never had a girlfriend. I've moved a lot in my life and am introverted, so it takes me a while to get comfortable with people. I see no easy way to meet girls since I've finished my educations and don't party like other people. I've thought that perhaps joining a club or church with girls might be a way, but that's no guarantee. "Luck" is very important, because I've never interacted with a girl I clearly thought was 'right'.

[Jerre]

I find them or they find me at the local Pub. They have a BB where you can leave notes for people. One of my friends with benefits tells girl b who tells girl c about me. Next thing I know, I have several notes from girls, gibing their phone numbers and would like to meet me.

[AndyOh]

Hang out in places that he likes... hobbies, sports, whatever, where there might be some women.
You also might coach him a bit on what to say (my problem) and how to act. Women are very selective when it comes to a mate.

[JSmuve]

The fact that this question exists and was asked by a woman in her 30s shows how little women know about the male experience. And the answers given by the two women are as equally bad.

[InventorofWarp]

I don't Jessie, I don't get sex and I don't know wtf is wrong with me. And I told you, it's 7 6 months, not 3, now for Chris sake, please stop posting my life around on here.

[BobbyC65]

You club them on the head and drag them off. 💞

I got a girlfriend. 💞