I know people always say "When you feel ready," to this question. But I want to with this guy I've been talking to. We had one official date after talking everyday for weeks, it went well, and were going on a second date this weekend.
On the first date, he was really passionate about how much he respects that I wanted to wait to have sex. And now even tho I want to with him now, I don't want him to lose respect for me
How long would y'all say is a good time to wait it out?
Do you want to have sex because it would be fun, or because it would make you feel closer and be a way of expressing affection?
You've only had one date and I would think that this is a bit early to be feeling affection or deciding whether you want to date him exclusively.
If you have sex on the next date and break up a week later, will you regret your decision? How do you know that scenario won't play out? You've only had ONE date!
If we aren't really serious and I dont see a long-term future, then I'm not having sex with her. Condoms break, BC fails, I'm pro life, so I need to make sure I'm with the right girl. I need her full trust. I need to know we are exclusive and on our way to a betrothal at the very least. Something we've talked about in great detail and all that and she was on board. I actually do NOT want to blind side a girl with a ring like that. I want her to have thought long and hard about such a decision because I also don't believe in divorce unless she or I cheated or she or I struck each other or threatened each other. I do not believe in no fault divorce. I also believe in holding myself to a standard of honor and integrity. If something happened and she got pregnant I'd get a ring right away and ask her to marry me. That's just how I am. Chivalry is not dead, but it's something earned.
Iv been on dates that have been amazing. The guy is a gent, conversation flows. But that's it. Nothing else's comes of it. I know I need that something extra, a connection, a feeling, to have a desire to have sex with them. So it isn't always about a certain date or days, weeks, months. It's about emotions too.
3
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Good point, I have those too. Thanks for sharing 💖💖
You can only do what works for you. The only thing that doesn’t make sense is having sex on the first night which is dangerous. Other than that, you can do what works for you.
My belief is waiting until marriage and some believe 3 months, 90 days, 1st month, and the list goes on.
Well as you already stated, there is no set time frame... you just know when your ready and you should go for it. You do not and should not have to wait for some arbitrary time period for something you feel is right. So if you are ready then go for it. I assure you the guy is more than likely just saying he totally respects your feelings on sex, because he hopes you will change your mind sooner than later anyway.
Having sex with someone does not mean they lose respect for you, for me it makes me respect them more. Because I like confident and secure women... and those that are not prepared to engage in a sexual relationship are often not very secure or confident and its a huge turn off.
You barely know anything about this guy and already you want to partake in the most intimate act two human-beings can do. Have you forgotten what it means beyond desire?
You are trying to form the shape you think the man will find the most pleasing, therefore this is likely to fail.
I hear lots of younger guys talking about a three-date maximum, but at my age, I'm not in that big of a rush. My target range are women from their early forties into their mid-fifties. There aren't many virgins in that range. Even so, it can sometimes take a while. I can wait.
Why cut your standards short just because you like the guy? He respects it and that’s awesome. Personally you should stick to your standards and wait until things actually feel serious. Once you allow a guy to break your standards, he will feel like it’s okay to further break more of your standards. He’s fine with it. Now build up the sexual tension and wait until things get steamy.
Be spontaneous but not impulsive do what feels right but use your head and be as intimate as you are secure in the company of the person you're with, understanding that trust and being open with each other is absolutely necessary and key to a healthy relationship of any type.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Depends on the person and the relationship you have with them. My boyfriend and I waited 8 months. He said that's when he started to get more comfortable with me (we meet online) and it just happened. None of us brought it up or said anything about it till then. When I asked him he said that was why.
You could always take the math out of it and *gasp* wait till you’re married. I know, society says that that’s old-fashioned and lame/unnecessary. Society is also made up of selfish, impatient, irresponsible idiots.
Till both individuals are comfortable enough with each other to get that intimate. Which could be on the first date or 3 to 6 months later. Either way respect each other wishes.
No right answer here... Depends person, situation, desires, long term wants, shirt term desires...
Had great relationships from right away and horrible ones from waiting... time for sex will not change or improve or ensure any relationship will work out.
Honestly it's not about the amount of time you do or don't wait but on him respecting your choice regardless of what it is. I hope this helps to answer your question.
Whenever the time is right. Setting specific numbers of dates or weeks, time periods is wrong. That doesn't mean a girl or guy has to give it up immediately either.
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