It's supply and demand. Virtually all women want "the best men", so those men have a huge selection of women, and there's little reason for them to be "on the market" for very long, especially if their goal is to get married.
At your age, you are competing for the same men with 20-something women, who have younger bodies, more years of fertility, generally lower body-counts (than women your age, on average), and tend to be less set in their ways and more cooperative. When all else is equal, those men will always choose the 20-something. If you want any chance at these men, you have to offer more value to those men. You can't become younger or reduce your body count, so you have to increase your value in other areas: you have to be MORE cooperative, MORE peaceful, MORE feminine, MORE fun, MORE maternal, etc.
Those men are looking for wives and mothers of their children. Your degree, your career, your income, etc., will usually be unimportant to those men - they're going to prioritize women who want to be moms and home-makers and take care of their husbands while he's out earning for the family.
Again, the supply of the men you want is small, and the number of women who want those men is very big, so the competition for them is very high. If you hope to get one, you have to be competitive with their other top choices. If you can't or won't be competitive at that level - making the sacrifices necessary - then you aren't getting one of those men. You'll either have to settle for a less-desirable man, or remain unmarried.
Just as a kid with "Honda Civic money" isn't going to be able to buy himself a new Ferrari with what he has to offer, a woman who isn't bringing enough value to the situation isn't going to get a top man - and it's rough when the primary standards of value is youth and fertility. If you lack those things, then you REALLY have to be exceptional in the other areas that men care about.
@MrOracle at least here in India (Asia), girl look for money and only money. Girls in their 20/s keep on rejecting guys and often date with bad boys for fun! Not-so-rich boys want to marry but girls keep on rejecting them and wait year by year for the best (richest possible, one life!) one.
Here is the thing -
In early 20/s the boys just start their career or business and they do not have money and girls are prettiest in her 20/s.
When both boys and girls are in 30/s, the boy might have earned a lot of money and his wealth usually increases with time. But girl start to 'loose' her beauty and probably the emotions and this loss usually continues with time. At this time, girl does not have much to offer to a boy!
For The First Time Ever, Women in Their 30s Are Having More Babies Than 20-Somethings
www.sciencealert.com/for-the-first-time-ever-women-in-their-30s-are-having-more-babies-than-20-somethings
@LZPanzer
I’m 26 and I date guys 28-32. I can easily tell you from my experience that most young millennial guys prefer a woman who has a career and education.
Misogynists on here may tell you that men don’t look for those things but I Garauntee you that if you have a career , guys will respect you more
@shaysh87
For guys there is a very big gap between datable and marriage material.
Guys are not picky when it comes to dating. We are very picky about who we marry.
Just because we are dating you doesn't mean we want to marry you. Dating just means we are check out that possibility.
Unfortunately women seem to equate dating and marriage to be the same criteria or similar criteria. For guys this simply isn't true.
@LZPanzer
Typically guys in their late 20s or 30s won't “date” a woman without intentions of marriage. By the time a guy hits a certain age , he won’t be interested in playing around. Most people are hooked up in serious relationships or marriages by the time they hit 30. Babies start coming out in 30s. Most guys already have kids by the time they hit 40.
Guys who play around in their 20-30s will only find themselves still single with fewer options by the time they hit 40. People get taken as they get older. Don’t wait till all your friends and peers are married to begin dating
@LZPanzer
There are nice women out there. Reality is , everyone knows days see relationships and friendships as disposable. If you grow bored of one women, you can easily dump her and get another. There’s no value in being a partner. Once you grow tired of someone, just rotate partners.
Friendships for Millienials / gen z last for a maximum of 5 years. In the past , friendships used to last for 15-30 years. People divorce way too often. People are even avoiding marriage so they don’t need to commit to one person forever. People are constantly looking for something or someone better. Once they do meet someone hotter or more interesting , they vanish,
This is why I won’t get married, there really is no incentive
Even looking for a friend that you can rely on is extremely difficult nowadays. When I try to make conversation with someone , very few people are actually emotionally available. And those who are emotionally available tend to be members of the old generation such as folks in their 40-60s.
Nowadays it’s very common to see someone with 1000 Facebook friends but nobody they can truly rely on in their times of need
It’s also extremely common to see couples who date 5-10 years only to break up.
@shaysh87 Your article proves my point. But it's not that women in their 30s have had a large increase in children, it's that women in their 20s have had a massive drop off in children.
And this trend is continuing to worsen. Tons of women in your generation are going to be alone forever because they weren't interested in marriage and children (or anything but the top 5-10% of men) in their 20s, and as those men get older and more successful, they are going to reject those women just as they were rejected.
People used to understand that the best path to success is to build a good life together, but today, women expect that good life from Day 1, and they are undermining their own futures. But they don't grasp that until it is too late.
@MrOracle
You like to constantly put down women in their 30s but the reality is, most women get married in their 30s especially if you live in a modern city. Most birthing mothers are in their 30s.
The lies that you’re spewing out is just your imagination , not what happens in reality
People are getting married later Ans later in life, both men and women. Most women are birthing later too.
@shaysh87 I'm not putting women down, I'm simply telling them that the situation changes - a lot - from their 20s to their 30s, and that they have to make changes in kind if they want to be successful. I didn't say they couldn't get a man or get married or have kids - they can, IF they are willing to do what it takes to attract the kind of men who want those things.
What I wrote is only offensive to women who think that they'll have the same options and ability to attract men in their 30s and 40s as they had when they were in their 20s, without making any changes. That's simply not the case. Men will overlook a lot, and even accept a "bad deal" if the woman is young and fertile, but around 30, that exemption expires.
It's like having a Disneyland Fast Pass in your 20s - you don't have to stand in the long lines waiting for rides because you have a Fast Pass and get to cut the line. But the Fast Pass expires, and when you're above 30 or so, the days of cutting the line are over, and you have to wait in line just like everyone else. When you are used to always having a Fast Pass, having to wait in line is a harsh reality that a lot of people have trouble accepting.
@MrOracle
I’m waiting until my 30s to get married and have kids. I’m not afraid. My mom got married and had me and my bro in her 30s. My moms cousin also married had her kids in her 30s. All 5 of my aunts had kids in their 30s.
And now I see a fool like you telling me that I can’t have kids in my 30s.
@shaysh87 Yes, they do - but that's a BAD thing, not a good thing. It PROVES my point.
If you go to your boss and ask for a raise, and he responds by cutting the pay of everyone else doing your job so that you make more than they do, it may be true that you're doing better RELATIVE to the other workers, who are now doing much worse - but it doesn't mean that YOUR situation has improved - you're still making the same money you were before.
Likewise, the fact that a higher percentage of women are marrying and having kids in their 30s doesn't mean that the raw numbers for women in their 30s has gone up - they haven't - it means that the numbers of women in their 20s marrying and having kids has fallen WAY off. And that's BAD! It's bad for women in their 20s, and it doesn't help women in their 30s either - or men, for that matter. We all lose.
I never said that at all. I simply said that your options for attracting a partner will be significantly reduced, and that the top end of the market will be almost completely unavailable to you. I never said you couldn't find a man - it just won't be the kind you could have gotten in your 20s.
@zeitgeist057
Mroracle has a history of shitting on older women on here. Last time we spoke , he even said that women in their 30s can’t have kids without IVF
@shaysh87 Your replies reflect frustration and anger. Instead of venting it out on @MrOracle , you can get yourself checked so that you can see the reality with a broad mind! Yes, you can get married at any age be it 30/s or 40/s but you will surely not get the 'best men', which is the subject of discussion here.
@Changed_Person
Reality is this website is filled with bitter misogynists who hate women. So they go around devaluing women by saying things such as “are women worthless after they reach the end of their child bearing years?”
Or constant talk about how women are undatable , unwed-able after the age of 30.
Constant talk about how men get more desirable as they lose hair , grow wrinkles , lose muscle mass , gain weight , go bald , saggy balls as they enter their 40s.
Or constant talk about how all 18 yr old girls like dating 40- 60 yr old guys
This is all just a fantasy of a bitter angry aging single man who can’t get any woman’s attention.
Overwhelming majority of men on this website who constantly shit on older women are the same frustrated guys who Can never ever get a date
@Changed_Person
[Yes, you can get married at any age be it 30/s or 40/s but you will surely not get the 'best men', which @Changed_Person
[Yes, you can get married at any age be it 30/s or 40/s but you will surely not get the 'best men']
As far as I can see, Mens options don’t get better as they hit 40s either when they start losing hair , gaining weight , white hairs , wrinkles. Saggy balls, erectile dysfunction
What makes you think girls are attracted to that? How many 18 yr old girls are dating 45-60 yr old men? None. Maybe gold diggers but no woman would ever be attracted to them.
@shaysh87 No. There are all kind of people on this site but you are depressed and frustrated and only see those men.
When girls had some power (or value), in their 20/s they become extremely choosy. Now guys have money the will become choosy.
I encourage you to run a feminist movements, where you bash all the males, and tell them that they should accept older women, they should see the "soul" instead of "beauty", "age does not matter", and do not forget to call them misogynist. Maybe then you may have some more options.
30/s male can get marry to 20/s girls. 30/s girls will have to marry 40/s men.
@Changed_Person
30 yr old women have careers , cars , houses and don’t need to prostitute themselves to old rich grandpas. Women get financially stable as they get older , just like men.
The only young women who are willing to have sex with you are desperate evoke college girls looking for sugar daddies to pay their tuition.
Once they are finished with college, they will dump you and marry a young handsome man in his late 20s to early 30s then start a family
@shaysh87
You are way too butthurt over the reality of things. All statistics on the matter have proven that women in their early 20s are the most attractive to men of ALL ages. There is no if or but to that.
That is pure, physical attraction - meaning other things to play a role for picking a partner. But it is the hard reality.
Additionally studies have also proven that women are their most fertile and have the healthiest children when they give birth during 22-28 (+/- 1-2 years since these numbers are from the top of my mind). With every additional year past 30 your risk to have a child, have a risk-free pregnancy AND have a healthy child increases logarithmically. Or in other words. With every year these risks incrase by a bigger margin than the previous one. Just because YOUR mom had children in their 30s doesn't take away from statistical likelihood. Also its an logical fallacy (=anecdotal evidence).
You can accept this reality or not. That's on you. But don't pretend like this isn't the case when science clearly disagrees with you.
@FakeName123
Talking about women in their early 20s being most attractive wasn’t even the topic being discussed,
I never refuted that younger women were more attractive. I never refuted that young women were more fertile
My point is, women in their 30s are still marrying , having kids with men. Actually more women are marrying in their 30s than 20s. So this alone proves that women in their 30s are still desirable.
Doesn’t matter how much you like to shit on older women. When statistics and data all proves that more women get married and have kids in 30s than 20s
@FakeName123
And what is your obsession with women in their 20s? It’s like you talk non stop about them. Are you some sort of pervert or something?
Because the reality is , A 40 yr old man who only dates 20 yr old girls will only dump her by the time she hits 30 for another hot 20 yr old girl
Not everyone is a pervert like you where only looks matter Ans nothing else
There are gold diggers Ans you’re a sex digger
@shaysh87 I'm not following MrOracle on other questions, so I don't see all the things you are accusing him of. All I am commenting on is this question and all I see is a realistic view, not with any hate or trying to hurt anyone.
Just like you would realistically tell someone that their athletic career is going to be at its peak when they are younger, and as they get older it's not going to be as easy to get the best performance. To say that isn't "hating on" older athletes, it's just saying something factual and realistic. I don't see anything saying older women are worthless or any of the other accusations you are throwing out. It sounds like you are dealing with past trauma instead of paying attention to the present thread of conversation. I'm sorry if you are feeling attacked or torn down, I don't think that is anyone's intention.
@changed_person Don't be rude, please.
Oh- I guess he got banned again. Oh well, lol.
@zeitgeist057
Listen dude , everyone knows that dating is best when people are in their 20-30s. It’s the same for men. But my problem with these people is the fact that they are talking about older women in such an arrogant , disparaging and condescending way as if they don’t age themselves. They seem to have sadistic joy in making excuses to put down women.
And I will tell you that it is because these men have been rejected by women so much that they want to come in here to take revenge
Data have proven that average age of marriage and birth for women is getting older and older. More women are having kids and getting married in 20s than 30s.
In the past @MrOracle loved spewing that women can’t give birth in their 30s without IVF, or how nobody wants to marry a woman in her 30s.
Well data has proven him wrong and I can easily pull up the statistics
@Jamie05rhs I am back bro! Two Indian girls have ganged up, one is some influencer, they are misusing the platform and deleting my account.
@i_am_back_again You need to behave yourself, dude.
@Jamie05rhs Okay bro.
Don't give up hope. In fact, out of the millions of men, there will be more than one best man. Finding the best some does take time. It is worth the struggle.
BIASED MHO
I’m gonna tell you something that might be difficult To hear. It’s very common to see single folks 35+ to have issues. VERY COMMON. You may ask why? Well because there is always a reason why someone is still single at that age.
now I’m not saying every single person over the age of 35 has issues. But it’s extremely common to see such undesirables in the single older population. Likely nobody wanted them during their prime. Or another common reason is because they may have never wanted to get married or have a family. The dating pool will likely get worse as you enter your 40s.
if you want a decent guy without issues that you can get along with , finish your search in your 30s.
Get yourself checked by a good psychiatric! Wishing you a good health and recovery :)
Open your eyes. Girls in 30/s have lot of options but not as many as they had in their 20/s.
Most girls marry for money and most guys marry the beauty. Girls over 30+ have lost beauty and only going to get old. Guys over 30+ are only going to get richer. While girl get the money they were always looking for, guys have nothing to gain in this deal. Hence, only a fool will marry 30+ girl.
@Mary087 Good. Option will always be there! But asker said "good men" are taken.
@Changed_Person
Haha that’s hilarious because marriage statistics still shows that overwhelming majority of women marry men less than 10 years older than them. How do you explain that?
Gold diggers prostituting themselves to rich men aren’t the real definition of true love or marriage.
And if you’re 45 years old balding , wrinkly, looking worse every year , you’re not gonna be able to get an 18 yr olds attention.
So you also won’t get the best women.
Men over 35 also have hard time finding a partner. Though there may be 30+ age girls available, but they don't find it worthy to get married to them. Exceptions exist.
But if someone in 30/s or 40/s have decided to find a good partner and marry then they shall surely find. They just have to search hard.
@Changed_Person
When you’re 35 years old, balding , lack of options , you will have no other options but to get married to a woman in her 30s. You don’t have another 10 years to get balder wrinklier and fatter still hoping to score a woman in her 20s. Just letting you know that your options don’t get better as you age either
So quit your pompous attitude as if you never age or exit your prime
Men around 35 have chances to get with girls in age bracket of 27-32. Or they can choose not to get married! Marrying a 30+ plus loose ass girl is unworthy. Worst decision any man can ever take.
For women over 35, their only option is to get marry to a guy in a age bracket of 35-43. However, those guys will still choose to be single instead of marrying 30+ years old "burden".
Im 23 and i dont waste any time in fact i wanna get married one day but it's funny people try to put the blame on women like its our fault and we can control guys that break our hearts... the reason im single is because most guys just want sex and nothing serious. Get over the age bullshit and look at the way people have lost value in relationships
Yes it is much harder as you get older im not disagreeing but my sister is healthy and actually really gorgeous for her age and I've seen women in their 20s who look far worse.. so we can't lie and say health doesn't play a factor because it does too but I'm super happy she found someone at her age and doesn't mind her age and her struggles she faced in her first marriage. Age matters with the children part because of fertility issues but not being a lazy person also does, if a woman takes well care of her body, health, skin& mind that can go a long way. I know you guys will say im possibly crazy for saying this as a 23 year old and yeah i have a lot to learn still but im taking awesome care of myself now and even when im in my 30s but we shouldn't always put a damper on age. To me i dont get why everyone cares so much, number 2 love has no limit,& number 3 there needs to be less hate and more kindness in this world so let's spread that instead of negativity.
@shaysh87 it's not like im wanting to be single forever and especially not after 35.. i just have had bad luck in dating. Its the dating style these days and lack of effort. Marriage and one day being a mom is something i value wholeheartedly and i dread the fear of that not happening and no i dont party and i also dont whore around. I don't know what the issue is besides just unluckiness and the wrong guys I've met
u My mother didn’t find her soul mate until she was 40. She has been happily married for 11 years now and her husband is a great guy who treats her better than my own father ever treated her.
The dating pool gets harder the older you get, but don’t give up hope. You may think that this married guy is the love of your life, but clearly he is not the one for you if he is already happily married. Leave him and his wife be. You will find your own soul mate one day.
Thank you so much for the positive post, It makes me feel like there is still hope 😊
Possibilities are endless. Meet lot of men. You will definitely find you man. All the very best.
Opinion
113Opinion
I feel the same about married women. A lot of them that I've known personally - usually older ones - tended to be much more special than single women, and it often hurt to find out that a special woman was married lol.
But unlike women, I have never actually tried to get these married women, except for one, and that was a sexual attraction. Other than that I have never been interested in trying to attract or get a married woman, even when I did think she was a great person.
I hope you don't mind me replying. But I often wonder if those women come across as being special because they're stable.
Dating brings so much anxiety that people say and do the most and sometimes silliest of things just to be accepted.
Then there are times some after being so ill treated don't even bother to worry about finding the right one, just the right Mr or Mrs right now!
@lilyanony1 I think you're probably right about that, yeah. But I also think it's because a married woman is more relaxed and confident that she is loved by her man, which you could say is a form of stability, yes.
Thanks for responding and hearing my thoughts... 😊
I think it has to do with the fact that married women aren’t interested in anyone or she doesn’t have to please anyone or she doesn’t get nervous around men
I’m a single lady and I find that guys tend to like me the most when I am free to talk about anything that I want to them. In front of attractive guys , I am never like this cuz I’m too nervous
u Are you one of the better women?
What is the best? A height 6.3 + him getting a salary $150K after taxes + super handsome + manly like a Marine + kind and open hearted when it comes to fathering his children + being an emotional supporter when you need a shoulder to cry on? Even if you can find such a man, what can you possibly bring to the table and offer him? Obviously not sex or being a mother. Those type of man date and marry girls who are in their late teen years or very early 20's, because they are still full of young energy for both sexual activities and raising children (It takes A LOT of energy and patience when it comes to kids) Money? he doesn't need more money, he is making more than enough. Beauty? again those type of man date and marry beautiful younger girls for obvious biological reasons. You are 30+ years old! what were you doing for the past 12+ years? during your golden and most precious biological years? sleeping around with an army of guys? living a selfish live style whatever it might be? waiting for a Perfect man? what is it?
I was attracting thr wrong kind of attention to be honest. I don't sleep around and I have goals and a career, I always get f**cked over to be honest.
Because you want what you cannot have, you want social proof that they are good before wasting your time, and that you expect good guys to be a dime a dozen.
In this dating age, dating sucks. Most men don't need a partner anymore. Many girls will give it and sell it for a fraction of what a committed relationship is worth. Why should they jump off the wagon?
All you older women past 30 make the same mistake believing that this guy that practically doesn't exist will sweep you off your feet, and you gaze at the women who do have husbands, but feel like the prize is just a day away...
And yet almost a third of the men under 30 have never had sex or a girlfriend. Maybe they have issues, but if the mating world is that bad right now, every new day it only gets worse.
All you women, young or old, fat or skinny, can date until you're 60, but if you wait too late, especially after 30, your marriage chances really begin to decline. Some will still get married after 35 and 40, but these are the exception. Especially after 50. Time to either date for recreation and get a pet to die with.
One thing I have discovered is a lot of men over the age of 30 have already been burned. I am not going to get into all the different colored pills or that MGTOW movement. I know a guy that lives in my apartment building. He is like me an engineer and like me makes 6 figures a year. He is in his early 40s and still is in therapy from his divorce several years ago. According to him, she cheated, then left him saddled with debt and he was paying support for several years. He is still struggling because of her. This dynamic has only just got bad these last 20 or so years. I also agree with what MrOracle said in his comment. For females, at or post wall it is tough to find a "best man". Not impossible, just tough. I will just leave it with this comment I heard tonight. I am about 90 minutes from finishing a men's recovery group. One of these men is a 40 something Naval Officer, US Navy I won't disclose his race or rank. He was asked about dating again. He shook his head and said he would date, but would NEVER get serious ever again. He took the time to speak the letters in NEVER! In the two groups, I have more than 10 men. ALL have jobs and ALL are nice guys. This ratio of available women to men is not 1:1 far from it. This is so bad that some of the gals I see are always trying to set these guys up with friends of theirs who cry themselves to sleep every night. There are a lot of 20 something females on this website. Right now you are in your prime. Girls trust me on this. STOP listening to all the toxic harpies in your life and settle down. All these Chads and Tyrones are going to do is put a baby in your belly and run like hell. I know, I am just being a mean misogynist bastard! OK, let's revisit this conversation in 20 years and see who was right!
I have a girlfriend/fiance, took 50 years. I think the woman has an influence on the mans behavior, sometimes on his success and how he projects. I used to be drawn to married woman because of how they project.. confidence, security. You are seeing a "settled" and content person, his woman is influencing that. not fair.
never be jealous of someone elses partner, you don't know what the relationship or person is like on the inside. They aren't showing their nuances, you just see the good facade. You don't know someone until you date them.
another member of our family just got married and having baby, startig at 36yrs old... after a long time single. things happen quick.
your thinking is poison, change it. Lots of decent single men out there.
You are so right, thank you for taking the time to comment 😊
because someone found them before you did, and they cared enough to treat them right, so they are happy to stay.
There are still good people out there that are available, but it takes work and a lot of trying to find one.
Not sure what your expectations are, do they have to have a 6 or 7 figure income, be a doctor, own a huge house, fancy cars or can the guy go to work driving a dump truck, or be a welder, makes a good honest living, drives a pickup truck and be happy to see you when he gets home from work every night and will treat you like a queen?
Sometimes, not saying that you are doing it, but some people can set the bar too high, and they end up with a very narrow field of people to choose from.
To be honest a job is a job I'm not too bothered as long as they are earning a living and would provide and take care of our family, My ex partner who left me and our child had a career when I met him a few years down the line he completely lost any motivation to work, he became addicted to drugs and I was taking care of us all on my income which isn't much, He had the cheek to say my career always came first. It had to or we would have had nothing, he lied, cheated and took everything, I am now just 30 this year and I feel I have a child and I'm very alone, I have tried the dating scene and many men I have met had the same traits he had, I hope to find stability and happiness one day, The reason for this post is I met a amazing man who became such a great friend and brought me new found happiness but he is married and I'm not the type to become a homewrecker, I fell head over heels in love with him but I wouldn't have ever said how I felt as he is unavailable, I found he's whole attitude to he's relationship with he's wife and children so uplifting, I felt the connection within seconds (that has never happened in my life) hopefully this will happen again but with a man that isn't unavailable.
wow, you have been through a lot.
I have to agree with you about staying away from married people, no matter how bad they say it is.
That has never worked out well for anyone.
I live in a small rural area and went on E Harmony had had very good luck there.
I met women that I would not have found any other way.
I didn't go out much to bars etc.
You have to be honest in your profile as well as what type of person you are looking for.
Most people on sites like that are not there to just hook up, but there are some of those regardless of what site you are on.
It can take a while, finding the right person is time consuming and a lot of work.
Good luck!
Thank you so much I feel its my turn to find happiness as I have always tried my hardest to please everyone but myself. I am so pleased you found happiness in a great woman, I hope someday I will too meet someone special, have a great new year 😊
Well, what to women think will happen if they don't work hard on looking for a decent man?
Instead of just sleeping around or just waiting around until they are 30.
Most good men and women tend get married or into long term relationships at about 22-25.
There are few good people left after that, but most are pretty introverted, so finding them won't be too easy. And you would have to initiate a lot of the time.
You might also get lucky with somebody who had a shitty partner.
And there are those good men who just haven't found the right girl yet. Or girls rejected them and a lot of guys just "give up" dating for a while and obviously women won't approach men constantly, so chances of anything happening is low. These men will probably start looking for girls again at some point at whatever age. And then the girls will find good men again. Until then it's just fuckbois everywhere.
I suppose some women like myself stay with a toxic man for too long and then wonder why we lost out on all the great ones.
@ElvenMr yep sounds about right
To be honest. It's not really difficult to tell if a man or a woman is toxic. Comes out pretty quickly in a relationship, a lot of times in just few dates.
After a while it's really not really on the toxic person if you one chooses to stay with such.
Your totally right, I have got to say con men are very hard to work out till later down the line, One of my friends from school was with a man for years he was living a double life with another female kids etc. She didn't find out till quite some time after. I Suppose it's a matter of finding a good one which is very rare in this day and age.
I say this. Its essentially about timing. The men that are married, especially if they did the asking, did so because they were ready to do so.
I'm sure some will say no, they were push either by her or parents etc etc.
But this is your life. You know.
Noone knows the person they choose will be right, sometimes making that commitment is about saying. I like and love you enough to be able to see and work with you towards a common goal.
I wouldn't say they're the best men, they're just men who probably wanted similar things to the person they're with.
You will find yours 😊 xx
It's not we are all married. I personally have trust issues because of my ex. She spent everything that I put in the band for emergencies---$16-17,000, she cheated on me with a county deputy, tried to ruin my life with false charges, lied through entire divorce, went through with children and mother and stole, destroyed personal property, mother stole a shotgun and sold it. When I say she lied, I had the proof because I recorded her phone calls. That is why I am single. She was also lousy in bed and did nothing but lay there and moan. Nothing else.
I am so sorry you experienced this, Some woman take a good man for granted, I had similar issues with my ex partner, I suppose its a case of finding a special someone and it's very hard to come across.
You are so right. Many when they find them, they do not realize it.
You are totally right there, thank you for taking the time to comment I hope you have a amazing new year 😊
You don't need the developing problems. I stay single and if someone comes along, then ok. If not, I am fine also. Miss some things, some not.
You definitely have the right attitude.
I sure try. Company is the biggest thing though, it could come tomorrow, probably not, but I don't worry about it.
Exactly live everyday as it comes
That is the only way. I don't rely on anyone.
at least here in India (Asia), girl look for money and only money. Girls in their 20/s keep on rejecting guys and often date with bad boys for fun! Not-so-rich boys want to marry but girls keep on rejecting them and wait year by year for the best (richest possible, one life!) one.
Here is the thing -
In early 20/s the boys just start their career or business and they do not have money and girls are prettiest in her 20/s.
When both boys and girls are in 30/s, the boy might have earned a lot of money and his wealth usually increases with time. But girl start to 'loose' her beauty and probably the emotions and this loss usually continues with time. At this time, girl does not have much to offer to a boy!
I totally understand this, thank you so much for your comment, I hope you have a amazing new year 😊
Same problem here, so I must not be one of them. Most girls where I live are married in their 20s. I just hit 30 and feel like I'm just getting started, but everyone else has been married, had kids, divorced, remarried and had more kids. It's like everyone trips on a curb and lands on 6 more suiters. Maybe I'm just picky af.
That's how I feel I am 30 now I have a child but never been married, Many of my friends are getting married or already married and here's me all alone crushing on men that are already settled, Hopefully I will find my happy ever after as I hope you do too. 😊
Because being attached is one of the things you find attractive. It means he's already passed someone else's filter. It means he's stable and willing to commit. It means he doesn't need to impress you, and they're for comes across as cool and nonchalant. When you meet a single guy, he's looking for something, so you see him as desperate, or he makes a fool of himself. You assume there's something wrong with him, otherwise he'd have a girl.
Usually married men are used to the traits a woman looks for as they already know what women look for in a serious relationship.
Maybe they seem like the “best men” because they are taken? Just because they tied the knot doesn’t automatically mean they are high quality.
Women have a real complex about taken men. Much worse than vice versa. They think just because another woman has accepted a guy that means he’s been “tested” and of higher quality. But you never know what’s going on beneath the surface.
Just about your update. Do you know why taken men come off as more attractive to lots women? Because they don’t care about impressing you or what you think of them (as opposed to a single man who is interested in dating you). They are just being themselves. Some of the unscrupulous ones might have idea or two of getting in your pants. But most taken guys are just don’t care one way or another.
Women have very strong intuition and sniff out hints of desperation in men which fair or not (usually very unfair) is a huge turn off for them. Taken guys will rarely give off those vibes. So they are a challenge. Some women get even more turned out that they are “forbidden”.
I can remember how differently women acted around me when I was in a long term relationship. I've had women try to give me their number and always try to connect on social media. It’s just nuts.
I really wish women can be more intro perspective about this. You can fantasize about it which we both know goes nowhere. Or even if your dream came true and he leaves his girlfriend/wife for you then he will very likely leave you for someone else. Not worth it at all.
I totally agree with you, This man is one in a million I have dated a lot of men and found not one of them respected me or treated me or even took the time to talk to me the way he did, It just happened to be a married man who literally felt like my soul mate, I know it's not worth it all and i would never want to break up a family so I did step aside the friendship with him.
That’s because his horniness is greatly dissipated given his steady access to you know what (hopefully). Its like the scene in the old movie “there is something about Mary” where Ben Stillers friend tells him to “clear the pipes” before his big date. He’s more relaxed and honest.
If he wasn’t married he still probably would be a great guy. But he would be more anxious for something if he was attracted to you. Even if he was patient and as well mannered as you said you would still sense it.
I get it that women don’t like pushy guys. But it’s in our biology to have those needs. Doesn’t mean we should be an aggressive creeps. But women shouldn’t get all taken aback if they “sense” that. It’s normal (that and needing romance).
Spend your time meeting single men. Just because they are single it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them. They might be waiting for the right woman. Also dating as a semi good looking guy vs. dating as semi good looking girl is radically different.
Your so right, thank you so much for your comment 😊
No problem. I hope that helped.
Because they are in high demand and have a lot to pick from.
the older a woman gets,
The less she has to pick from every year.
the good ones get hitched,
Then your left with scraps.
Not only that your compeeting with younger women, in their 20s.
Who are firtle longer. And. Generally look better
the girls that play games in their 20s.
usualy end up. Paying the price for it later.
I've seen it happen enough to know.
@ElvenMr oh I totally mean behaviour I'm not at all shallow with looks, I would prefer a great man with a great heart than a beautiful looking man with a ugly heart, I just seem to attract the ugly hearts and I can't understand why, I suppose it doesn't help I am very in to my own looks I have botox anf fillers and I enjoy beauty regimes, I don't have an amazing job and I'm not that smart.
The more you care about your looks, (i mean after a certain point) the more primitive/toxic men you'll attract imho. Oh and i find that showing others that you have a good heart and good intentions is way harder, then showing that you are a jerk. And girls might misinterpret something a guy says and now they think the guy is an asshole.
There is a sweetspot you can stay in as a girl, but i have no idea where that is tbh. I know that i won't even try with girls who look like they put on too much make up, or have fake boobs etc.. a bit like how you described yourself. Although lip filler and some nice make up can look good.
I would prefer girls who stay natural tho.
I always think girls who care too much about her own looks will care too much about mine as well, and well i'm not perfect.. so yeah. And i think to myself they probably don't want anything serious anyway.
@ElvenMr that sounds like me, I am really in to my looks but looks don't mean a thing to me on a man it's the personality for me, I got bullied when I was younger so I decided to really try harder to fit in with the way girls were preciceved as pretty, I don't want someone to judge me by the way I look but I must just send out the wrong messages, I mean I love make up beauty hair nails the works but I also love emo rock music etc. I have such an open mind, I just want to find happiness with someone who loves me for me and the same love for them ❤
I got married at 24 to a 21 year old woman who went homeless with me. I don’t know if I’m among “the best” men, I certainly wasn’t then. But I know you can’t buy that kind of loyalty for anything.
If you are wanting the best men, you need to be the best women to a man BEFORE he becomes his best. Otherwise, a 35 year old guy will be going for a 20-25 year old woman.
Dumb luck and high standards. Closest I can get to a standard is that neither of us lost our virginity until I proposed. My virginity was my choice. Not fair to demand my wife do something I’m not willing to do myself.
I believe the number of sex partners plays into the concept of loyalty.
But I always pretended with other women that I dated that the number of sex partners wasn’t a big deal, in order to get them honest about it. Only one other woman got past date 2, and she wound up cheating on me, then cheating on her new fiancé, then getting pregnant and coming to me and saying if I didn’t raise her kid, she’d abort it. I got picture message of the toilet a couple of days later.
That’s why I say “luck.”
As a married guy, this question intrigues me because I've been approached by women and several have offered phone numbers without me ever asking. It puzzles me because this seldom occurred in my single dating life where I felt much more effort was required. I think the married man just carries a different vibe. I'm less concerned about "impressing" women and more content with myself. I don't have to "pretend", I'm happy with who I am. Having kids dramatically increased my patience, made me much more responsible, and helped me understand how to prioritize other peoples' needs before my own. My wife just saw that potential before others did, I guess :P
When you obviously have a woman, you are "pre-selected." Another woman has "signed off" on you, and women want what other women have. This is why women will approach you when you're in a relationship, but never when you're single. It has nothing to do with who you are or how you're acting, and everything to do with women assuming that your woman sees desirable things in you, so therefore you MUST be worth having.
I've taken a female friend to a party, and had girls who had been at other parties and ignored me suddenly come up and try to talk to me. Nothing about ME had changed, but this time, some OTHER WOMAN seemed to approve of me, and thus the other girls were now interested. And I wasn't even romantically or sexually with the girl I came to the party with - the other girls had just assumed.
@mobiusforniner Women usually date bad guys or best guys in their young age. It is proven at 80% women go for top 20% men in dating. Once the dating is over, and top 20% guys are taken, these women in 30/s look for someone who just pay their bill for the life, usually the good guy who they themselves rejected!
Not gonna happen. Good guys are awakening.
Well, because the best men usually marry young, about 20-25 to 30 years old. However, there are exceptions - there are good men who have not found a suitable partner and have not married for some reason until old age. Unfortunately (but hopefully for women like you) there are also many good men in their 30s, 40s and older who are divorced because they married inappropriate, immoral, and selfish women who didn't appreciate them. Perhaps this is the best chance for a woman over 30 to find a good man - just to look for a divorced man who is good and willing to remarry. There is certainly no shortage of such men today. The question is, do you have anything to offer such a man, would you offer him what he would really want and seek. But still, "the best man" is an evasive concept. This has different meanings for different people. What is the "best man" for you? Someone who has a lot of money? Someone who is a devout Christian? Someone who is very attractive?
My perception of a "best man" wasn't intended on looks, loyalty, respect, stability etc. I just found married men used to the life of being around a woman and knowing the traits of married life as they have already experienced this, I have male friends that are married and I seem to find them more down to earth and ready for commitment, all the single guys in this day and age I have came across aren't looking for anything serious and half of them were still contuining the bachelor lifestyle.
I love this question because just wait two weeks and a woman would be divorcing one of those men because she feels completely different than you do about it they're not all taken there's a lot of them out there here's the single ones just haven't found the right one yet
Yes I agree with you and what you're looking for is a very special person which is out there I know that for you I can feel your energy and you have a very beautiful heart and I'm pretty sure that you'll find that person pretty soon it all depends on how this covid-19 stuff turns are the direction it starts going that's what's holding me back I think
I've given up hope because in my case I want a good husband material who doesn't want children, this combination is incredibly hard to find. Because most good guys wanna be fathers. I'm just dying in the pain of my fictional character who is my soulmate. It's difficult to find honest, loyal, loving guy who will never even let children come in between us.
Because men of quality, who are wanted, are an opportunity that women will not allow to pass if these men happen to be single. That man, if he is smart, will be picky in who he chooses to give him commitment to. And a smart woman who knows other women want her man will make sure she keeps her man interested by being a good partner who takes care of him. If she fucks up, another woman will come right in and do everything right that the other did wrong.
80% of divorces in the US are initiated by women. This would suggest that a lot of the middle-aged men available are ones that other women found lacking in some way or another. Also, a high-quality single man in his 30s stands a good chance of attracting a woman five to ten years younger than him. This makes things difficult for women who find themselves single in their 30s and later.
That’s what happens when you don’t find a partner in your 20’s. The emotionally healthy people that wanted a partner found one. You didn’t for whatever reason and will have to find one among the men who did the same, or men who are out of a failed relationship. But it’s not hopeless. My wife and I both made bad marriages, then met and have been very happy together.
The best men aren't taken. Many of them are single, they're just not spotted by women. All the pimps, baby daddies and wannabe gangstas are... and not only that, but they've got a handful of women flocking around them daily. I'm. watching it right outside my building. My roommate is even 1... and not a nice guy to women at all, though he's good on his half of the bills. He brought 3 over last night-and that doesn't count his main squeeze who he half caves in her head about every other week. Nuttin nice about it...😏
The best solid successful good-looking men are snatched up by well-rounded relatively stable-minded women with little or zero baggage when they're in their 20s. As the years pass, time and life wear at you, and you become older and more jaded the best men you're going to qualify more and more are the guys you would've rejected when you were young and glowing. At 35+ you really need to be looking for guys who will treat you right, respect you and do the best they can to be there for you. You're long past the expiration date for white horse prince charming. Go for the nerd you rejected at 23 but now he's 42, got into shape and still has a crush on you.
How many guys like the 'most amazing man' have you turned down in the past?
Did you think that they would be still hanging around for when you were 'ready'?
I haven't actually turned any of the decent guys away I have had two serious relationships in my life and both started well and ended up very bad, the men I tend to date are the only ones that show me attention and they turn our to be the type of men that I have no intention of committing to.
Not true but realistically there's a reason they are married. However since over half marriages end in divorce are they really the best men? Just find someone you are compatible with that your could see going through tough times with. No such thing as perfect relationship.
Good, best, bad are very subjective.
That is just confirmation bias; the food on someone else's plate always looks better. If the taken men weren't pre-screened by other women, you would find a reason to not like them.
I understand what you mean, When I met this amazing married man I am referring to i actually didn't know he was married to begin with, I felt he was respectful, kind and charming something I have never experienced before, Had doors held open for me, Umbrellas to hold in the rain, I mean the 30 years I have been alive I have never had a man treat me like I meant something before, I hope there is other men like this but available
I wish I could have a sign or at least the address of someone like him 🤣
Oh great, not another one of these... The next thing we're going to get is "all the other men are trash" at this rate.
Nope not all men are trash, I seem to meet the trash that's all 🤣
From having enough male friends I know often some of the best guys are hidden in plain sight.
It’s easy to be kind for two minutes to strangers. In relationships there will always be times when they’ll be difficult to deal with and others when they’ll be sweeter than honey. Love isn’t easy.
New pic is gorgeous😍
the best men statistically date 22 year olds maximum. its far too late for you to date like that
perhaps its time we warn young women sooner that dating needs to be done before school. your college degree can wait, your relationship potential cannot
Only women who can’t see the true value in a good man say that and usually let them slip through their fingers or he didn’t become a good man until he met a great woman like that old saying goes
I did meet a amazing man and he was unfortunately married. We were friends nothing more but I fell hard for him.
That’s why men and women can’t be friends
Yep, Unless your friends with couples and you are also in a relationship, On them terms I think its acceptable
No not even then
They don't mess around and marry the woman they are compatible with so it happens easily for them,& that woman knows what she has. Don't worry im sure your future husband is out there somewhere. Im 23 and too hope to marry one day too.
Because they are the best men and somebody else latched onto them first. You have to be fast to catch the good ones.
Totally agree.
I could say the same for all the best girls, since I've never been anything but single because every girl I've ever looked at is unavailable or else unsuitable.
Yep totally understand this, let's change my term on best men in to best people 🤣
Some of us end up with crazy cheaters and get divorced. Only down is we usually have kids or so I am told. Men get a bum wrap because most women think the man was the problem. Lol
Women can be just as bad as men tbh. It's a matter of person I suppose.
Lol I know, she was the cheater. I think most people blame the guy because it was more common at some point not sure any more.
I still feel men get targeted more than women of the perception of being the bad guy but honestly it works both ways, you always bad and good people in any type of situation in life, I just used the term men because I'm a female who is interested in men.
The thing is the women who noticed there ways of life and how they carry themselves through different life circumsatnaces,
and behavioural style did not take no chance in saying yes to them but they simply followed the brains and said yes to them.
Though our times of present many people do fall in lobe for looks or material things and tbat is where the problem begins from.
Yes, the best men are taken... by the best women, who were smart enough to know what a good woman actually is, and try to be that woman, and to jump at the opportunity when she finds it rather that squandering her prime years looking for something that won't make her happy in the end.
The best ones aren't taken. They're just having fun with multiple women, and have no need to commit to one :)
Triggered some disembowelee-wannabes with this one lol.
Because they're the best, and women who get them take them and keep them. If you found one of the best and he was single and liked you, you wouldn't let him go.
True say.
All the people saying that you're too old to attract them by looks are bullshitting. By all accounts I qualify as one of the best men. I certainly have qualities (that are not physical) that women seem to desire in men. My girlfriend was 32 when we started dating and I've been with her for over 3.5 years now. Although this may not help you with finding the best men, you may be able to screen guys before dating to decide if they qualify. The best men are those that are good people in nonromantic settings. They are kind and courteous without an ulterior motive. These people may not be crème de la crème of good men, but they'll be better than most and among the best.
Thank you very much, I hope you have an amazing new year 🥰
The best men aren't married.
You just see married men as the best.
Fix it.
I have had great experiences with married men being respected and the conversations so refreshing compared to a single man, I suppose its a matter of person and not the fact they are married though.
It's the fact that they're married.
Yep 😄
Fix it
That's how it works men and women who are most desirable will have an easier time getting a spouse, so it makes sense
Same reason all the good women are taken, they get them early on, all you can do is wait till they get divorced which is pretty good odds but then they already have kids
I’m available now though since I’ve been through all that already
Yeah I understand this really well I also have a child from a previous relationship which went very bad, I met the most amazing man as a friend and I fell totally in love with him but he is married and has two children, one minute he is completely besotted by her the next he would moan about her, She was very controlling and reminded me a lot of my ex the way he was. I guess I just met him a little too late, he is literally perfect but I cut all contact as he is taken and I am not a homewrecker and my feelings were getting stronger i didn't want our friendship to be ruined.
Yeah it’s best not to get involved with someone still married. They would have to be divorced first. I’ve been divorced over 5 years and still getting no where
No I won't get involved she found her Mr right and to be honest he's that charming and great he could be anyones Mr right, all kudos to her she found a great one, let's hope we find great ones too.
Yeah I hope we do
Well same is true with women. So what does that say about you?
It says I obviously attract the wrong kind of men.
if the best ones are married and you are not married, that means you're not one of the best and those men you don't like are exactly on your level but you falsely thing, you're better than them :P
Not true at all, I have never been proposed to, I had a child with a man who left me because I was to obsessed with my career apparently and a few dates have led to nothing but casual dating, a man who is ready to commit is so hard to find.
well... i have nothing more to say about that. you said it all.
Divorce rates are higher than marriage rates. So don’t judge yet and count your blessings.
If you want a 'good man™' you have to tear him out of other harpy's claws. This leads to new dilemma, a 'good man' who cheats on his woman isn't a good man anymore. The quadrature of a circle, somehow.😂
No, but like any other valuable thing good potential spouses will be snapped up fast. You need to put yourself out there more often and meet more people. It’s a numbers game. Don’t give up.
Commited people have learned all the things single people haven’t by living with each other. It’s a process for both genders.
No they are not. You just been looking for the needle from the wrong heinstash.
I hope to find a good one in the near future.
Cuz smart girls snap them up and actually appreciate them.
And don't be thinking there isn't one for you, you just have to date a lot of quality guys and you'll find one. Time to get busy.
@shaysh87 maybe check out the number of up votes this post has gotten. It's very clear that the majority of men agree with Mr oracle.
Or at you just going to call all of them misagynists.
Statistics and data do not lie, but they can be biased and still have the risk of sampling errors.
@Tstrbrainer
I have multiple very legitimate sources from very well known popular websites.
When were these data collected?
Because they don’t play around and settle soon by the time you meet them they are married lol
Because they get first pick of women. The more desirable a person is the easier it is for them to find a partner, the same goes for women.
It's expected for those men to be already taken, same goes for women.
You're probably overlooking a guy who would be great for you just because he isn't a Chad.
Not you too.
This is exactly the issue with a lot of 30+ single women. They have rejected a lot of potential (good) partners just to get with that top-tier % man. Only to find out that these men do not want them. I have several family members and acquaintances who are in this exact situation.
Or they've been sportfucking their way through their 20s only to find out that these do not want to commit to them. Many of them happen to be single-mothers. So they try to settle for a nice guy for financial aid or because their biological clock wants them to bear a child asap. These women are often unsatisfied with their choice because they are used to higher calibre men in their younger years lol
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 I don't know how you can go through life without seeing this in action lol but ok.
@TruthBringer hypergamy is such a tragedy, for the men it leaves behind and for the women it ultimately dupes in the end.
Please work with me here.
For sure there are girls who like Chads. But are those all girls? Are those even the girls you want? Only bimbos with the mental capacity of a grape want them. Not the kind of girl we want.
The good ones don't go for them.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 good women, like good people are a very small minority.
Sadly I agree more and more
@Juxtapose Nailed it!
I mean I agree about people in general. I have less and less faith in humanity.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 I would only put your trust in people who have proven themselves to you.
I agree.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Nope; the good girls want them, too! 🤷
@Jamie05rhs Let's make sure we are talking about the same person.
I am talking about the guy that is an absolute idiot. Has as IQ equal to his age. He has a overly agressive attitude. His only qualities are his body and... that's it.
I am not talking about the guy who looks good, but is also nice, has a backbone being agressive only when necessary.
The first is the Chad and no, aside from bimbos, no one likes that guy.
@This_Is_My_Opininion8 Ok, maybe there are different definitions of "Chad"s. Lol
@Jamie05rhs His definition on what a "Chad" is, is quite unaccurate considering Chads are often high value men having shit going on in their lives and not necessarily being asshole muscleheads with no brain.
@TruthBringer That's actually what I thought.
@Jamie05rhs then tell me what is yours?
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Basically the same guy that you described but after he graduates from college and gets an office job.
@Jamie05rhs an office job is not enough to make him appealing with his many flaws and bad personality.
@This_Is_My_Opinion Who said he had a bad personality? I think Chads have GREAT personalities! They always have. Even from elementary school age. That's why we all want to be friends with them.
@Jamie05rhs oh so you don't put the trash person's in "Chad" category.
So a Chad to you is a good person, with a good job who looks good?
Of course women like that.
Men also like women who are good persons, with a good job who also look good.
That's literally what everyone wants.
@This_Is_My_Opinion Lmfao. I never said he was a good person. When did I ever say that?
@Jamie05rhs here:
"Who said he had a bad personality? I think Chads have GREAT personalities!"
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 That's right. I said he had a good PERSONALITY.
Might I remind you that Matt Lauer had a great personality as well.
So did Bill Cosby.
@Jamie05rhs don't know who that guy is. Buy if you aren't a good person, you don't have a good personality. Period.
@This_Is_MyOpinion8 I think you must be a little naive, man. Tons of evil people are very charming.
@Jamie05rhs that's called being fake. Why? Because in fact they don't have a good personality.
But unless you are saying that only people who are actually bad achieve greatness in this world I don't see the point you're trying to make. You are ready to say "women only like assholes" aren't you?
Nope. That's the opposite of what I mean. Yes, lots of women DO like assholes. But many women just like charming guys with great personalities (many of whom happen to be fuckboys. But the girl might not necessarily know that.)
@Jamie05rhs we are on the same page than. Yes I agree. Fuck boys know how to take it.
Tell me something. Do you think a good guy, with decent socials skills, grooming and a steady job will be single for long?
@This_Is_My_Opinion8. Ok; cool.
He might, if he's selective. He may get a lot of female attention, but he'll turn them away if they're trash females.
@Jamie05rhs as he should.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Agreed!
The best men are already married they already have an idea of who to marry beforehand.
Totally agree, thank you for commenting 😊
My opinion is they are very few and far between because most women are extremely "selective". So I guess depending on what "best men" is for you... lol
Haha I say that with women. All the best ones are taken. But it's way more comfortable to talk to someone who is taken, rather that someone who is single.
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions