Would you date someone just for sex?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Yes. My reason for dating in the first place was always for the purpose of getting into a sexual relationship with a pretty girl. I wasn't in love because I didn't even know them initially. I was physically attracted.

I think the idea that you have to be in love in order to have a wonderful relationship that includes sex is silly. I don't think sex is something sacred. It's just a really enjoyable activity.

And when I was young, I wasn't even looking for a life partner to marry and start a family with, so the main object was unlimited sex with a steady girlfriend.
Is that "friends with benefits"? I don't know. Back then, it was just called having a girlfriend.

I wasn't into one night stands or sex with slutty girls. I didn't even try to take advantage of women in order to get in their pants. I preferred good girls with healthy values. I wanted mutual infatuation.

If we got along, we would go steady. Sex and infatuation would quickly follow. Aside from sex, I liked the girls and enjoyed going places, doing things, chatting and hanging out. I think women are delightful and charming.

I wouldn't have sex with someone I didn't like, if that's what you're asking.

Although I did have one particular girlfriend in my early 20s whom liked me a lot. She may have thought she was in love. We were both deeply infatuated at first. I liked her a lot. But after several months or a year, my infatuation began to fade. I realized that I didn't want to be with her forever. I started to distance myself. But at night, when I got horny, I would go to her house (she lived with her parents) and tap on her window. She would come out to my car and give me a blow job or, more often, we would fuck. So at that point, I was definitely just using her. I wasn't particularly proud of myself but I couldn't resist. I was needy and she was willing. Plus she was a nice girl, not a skank. I knew she was clean. She never hesitated when I called on her. She was happy to satisfy me and wanted to be my women. At that point, though, I felt like a dick for taking advantage of her.

The best relationship I ever had in my life (aside from my wife) started out sexual. That hypersexual, orgasmic woman did things to me that had never imagined until then. I virtually lived with her for over a year and our relationship grew. I came to love everything about her. She is the first girlfriend that I loved with my heart and soul. But alas, a life together was not meant to be. We wound up separating for reasons that are not worth getting into, but it didn't involve cheating or anything mean. We loved each other. I still love her and am grateful for our time together.

So, dating was sexual for me. I wouldn't continue to date someone unless the relationship became sexual. But a sexual relationship can grow into deep love.

Sex isn't a bargaining chip. You give yourself completely to a relationship.

TonyMetal___86 · Accepted Answer

No way, i'll only date for lpve and marriage because that's the right thing to do, also i think that sex without love worth nothing...

LinaDaGoddess · Accepted Answer

I’ve had this done to me, and I got feelings for the guy.. I finally understand when guys say they can have sex with anyone and not get feelings.. (emotionally) I have to have an emotional attachment to someone in order to have sex with them and having sex made it worse.. I’ll never do this again. Lol

Ninani · Accepted Answer

It's easy to get sex, I date for the connection.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I would not date a girl if I saw a reason why she could not become a partner in a long term relationship. And I wouldn't have sex with that girl, either.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

Absolutely not.

walter89 · Answer

I use to say yes when i was 18.

Now i am 31 i say NO. Sex is healthier when being with someone you love. Honestly, sex word is not even used when you love someone. Instead, without a word y'all make love.

Using someone for sex, you are materializing him or her for your needs. You really don't know their background as in how they were raised or what they gone through. Why? The more you feed their suffering they more they closing their mind to the point they feel is the only option. You are creating harm to another human being. Many may say what has to do with me? The question, are you suffering too? Because you closed your mind using someone for your needs. When instead being more active person distracting your mind by working out, involve in some sport in your community, help your community. Will help you relieve by helping another person and not sharing no more suffering. May be asked, that doesn't solve having sex? The question does sex has solve your questions, wonder, and suffering?

JustNotherHuman34 · Answer

Never. I’m actually the exact opposite since I’m a virgin 🤣
When I was younger, I told myself that I’d wait ‘til marriage. Since then, I’ve modified it a bit, waiting ‘til I’m at least in love with someone. I’ve never been in love; therefore, no sex. I’ve always been clear about my stance with every girlfriend I’ve had. The compromise was that I would do whatever else I could to make them finish, whether it was fingering them, eating them out, using toys (no one took that option, but I would’ve been open to it), etc. Two of my four exes thought they could handle that, and things were good when things were good. But when weren’t on good terms, both caved after 2 months and cheated. In both, we decided that it was best to end it. But I digress.
No, I wouldn’t date someone just for sex, even if it’s just foreplay (my favorite, and only 🤣). In order for me to want someone sexually, I have to have some kind of connection with them. That’s why every person I’ve dated or been sexually involved with has been a friend. For me, if I can’t get along with someone as a friend, then any other kind of association is meaningless.

I’ve been single for almost 10 years now. If the right person finally comes along and I share a mutual love and connection with them, then awesome! That’s the only way my virginity will be lost. But if not, I’m cool with that too. I’ll only be sexual with someone with whom I vibe. And if sex never comes, you can never have too many friends, although I basically have none 🤣

AncientWisdom · Answer

I have in my past as have most men if they are honest. The inferior perietal lobule of the brain is larger in males. This regulates vision , auditory , and somatosensory cortices. The sexual centers in males are more active especially when visually stimulated. This is because human males evolved to be polygamous. Monogamy is only good for females their nature is to be monogamous, but they have a evolved behavior called hypergamy and when they cheat that’s why they tell themselves they deserve better then what they have and after convincing themselves of this the start searching for a more powerful or wealthy man. The reason females want monogamy is because it benefits them to have a man focused solely on her and her children or theirs if that is the case. Females have a shorter biological clock as well unmarried childless females get desperate around 28 to 32 .
Men on the other hand can provide the catalyst (semen) to create a child in the womb of a woman all of their life usually ( little known fact the Sperm cells live for 3 to 4 days after death there are women in the world mostly in Asia who have harvested their dead husbands Sperm and been artificially inseminated ! Gross right 🤮) it’s true…
So mens bodies match their nature. Luckily for women male nature is to bond they do it with their friends , but when they love a women they sexually bond to her. It’s their nature to protect and fight for her. Women and their “ shit tests “ and “ games” usually are her undoing. For that and weaponizing sex which is a male need is why men cheat after bonding the female breaks the bond. This is not all men when I say most 51 % is more then 49% there are loner types and predatory types all the types but for most men we are very simple to understand. So there’s your answer if a man is not pairbonded yes he will date for sex to get his needs met.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Yes, absolutely, and I would add some other things to this because I know there are going to be a lot of sex-negative and shaming answers on here that promote the ideas that sex is dirty, that sex is meaningless, that having sex degrades people, that if you have sex and just sex with someone it means you don't care about them, etc, etc.

Having sex with someone can be all those negative things people are writing, but I want to be very clear that that is not about sex, that is about the person having the sex. If sex is meaningless, it is because you are MAKING it meaningless. If it is is degrading, it is because your ATTITUDE about it is degrading. Change yourself, and you will change what sex means and what it is about.

I can, will, and do have sex with other people for mutual pleasure, to express love, and I think it's great. I would absolutely have sex with that beautiful woman in the post photo, omg she's dreamy. I believe just making another person feel good while they are making you also feel good is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Same as hugs, and you don't see a lot of people hug-shaming, but that's just the crazy world we live in.

Qdbrown · Answer

Up until three years ago, yes! Now, any man dumb enough to have easy sex with any woman can destroy him.

Now any woman, no statue of limitations, can say you forced sex on her through alcohol, social and peer pressure, and destroy your life, especially if she ever get bitter at some point in her life, and she finds out you have a good wonderful life.

That whole MeToo thing was great when it was being used on influencial powerful people. Now it's being used on any guy that upsets the wrong woman. And she might be happy today, but feel raped tomorrow by something that didn't happen. If you know just how much some women love drama, it makes sense. And they will laugh you all the way to financial ruin or prison or what is nothing more than a simple insult.

Now a good many women will never pursue it, and maybe just call their time a mistake, or a weird time in their life, but as a guy, a woman can become problems at any moment in your existence. Why risk it?

TheorionMage · Answer

How many times have YOU had your imagination visually inspired, and thought "GAWD, I'd LOVE to rock their world. To be in a position to watch them/him/her 'surrender' and to lustily LOSE THEIR SHIT!"

ESPECIALLY if they're normally so 'prim', 'proper', 'reserved' and 'shy'...
to have them FULLY shamelessly 'surrender' to their 'animal' appetites.

There's an entire category of 'fetish' erotica wherein those who've elected celibacy
are by circumstance, depicted, compelled to experience their repressed carnal potential
Clerics & Nuns... Macho marines cross-dressing 'nancy boys'... societal 'innocents'
naughtily NOT being innocent.

ALL part of the same mind-bending phenomena~

mstbooblover · Answer

Really for the sex only? Honestly I'm not sure in spite of having had fantasies about that, but it would in any case depend on the girl, if she really wants me and tells so explicitely without any doubt, which sadly never happened to me, professionals set aside. On the other hand, that's why men go to prostitutes for : sex only in exchange for money. Still, depending on circumstances, I wouldn't say no, but it's no use dreaming too much : only very, very few girls would accept having sex for the sex only ;0)

MannyFrs · Answer

of course but only if they promise to wipe it out and i promise to wipe it off if I/they engaged in sexual activity prior to our meeting.

LOL

no probably not just like these open relationships that some people have its like wow you must really trust someone and don't respect yourself if you are in an open relationship. To me its pretty much the EXACT same thing as "there is no honor among thieves" or what have you.

How can you be sure she didn't just get dont having a huge orgy then she comes over and starts to kiss on you?

To me thats the most vile and disgusting thing i can think of

t-8900 · Answer

No it's not only against my faith but my heart and soul. I need 1 woman in my life and only 1. I don't need "practice", I dont need a "side piece", I dont need an "affair", I don't need a "mistress", I need a soulmate. I've had plenty of offers in high school and my early adult life but always turned them down. I'm glad I did too. Most of the people I know that did that (well the ones I knew personally) all regretted those lifestyle choices. As others have also noted I would never even consider a relationship with someone who was into that sort of thing or had ever been. I'm not an object, neither is a woman. We need to stop treating each other this way.

IAmMichael · Answer

I have before. I was upfront about it, so was she. The sex was good but outside the bedroom she and I really didn't get along much and it imploded, as was inevitable. Wouldn't do so again, wanting more significance out of relationships now, but sometimes good sex is good enough for a while.

Dragonpurple · Answer

I would now that I've given up on having relationships, now just looking to hang out with friends, not even sure I want to call it dating but I want more than just friends with benefits, I want to do stuff together too but not be considered a couple or romantically involved.

An advanced form of friends with benefits's that is more than just sex but not a relationship.

Surely · Answer

Are you referring to someone just showing up at your door and hoping into bed? Or are you saying to go out for dinner and maybe spend some time together before the sex part?
If you make each other happy and not going to hurt someone else. Why not enjoy each other’s company.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Most guys and women actually do.

Yes yes, you also like the person. But then again the reason you like them is sexual attraction towards them, you also like your friend but no sexy time or dating.

Not many would also stay in a non-sexual relationship.

And nothing wrong with that, sex is important part of relationships and also pretty fun.

DaveJord · Answer

Yup, as long as it was passionate and hot... I would keep dating her even if I knew it was not going to work out and try to move to friends with benefits type thing.

OlderThanILook · Answer

I would if the girl wanted to date me just for sex. I wouldn't initiate a relationship for sex. I'd rather just try to get laid and skip the BS in that case.

Diodoro · Answer

No, I wouldn't be with a girl monogamously for sex. Requirements for a relationship is higher than just a sex partner. If all you can provide is sex, even good sex isn't enough for me.

ohshee · Answer

friends with benefits I HAVE And we both walked into it like that and it was one of the best natural freeing experiences that I've ever had absolutely loved it

AviatorTom · Answer

When I was younger and single, I did just that. Wasn't interested in a relationship, and neither was she. Lasted a couple months before we both got bored.

Would you date someone just for sex?

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