Guys, Im a single mom of 2 kids , would you enter a relationship with a single mom and what would your views be on dating a single mom?

[Anonymous]

[MCheetah]

No I would not and neither would most men.

As I stated before on this site, you're doing twice as much work (winning over both the mom and her kids, especially if you hate kids) with half as much return on investment. You will never be able to date her without having to do extra work to make the kids happy as well, which is even more mental effort involved. You are always going to be DEAD LAST priority in her life, behind her kids, her family, her job, etc. Sex is going to be near non-existent. And she likely won't have time for you very often in her life, anyway.

This isn't even getting into her poor life choices which lead her to be a single mother in the first place (widows excluded). Single mothers also, ironically, tend to be very entitled. Or bitter and negative, cause they dicked around in their 20s and now have hit their mid 30s and no one wants them anymore, so they overcompensate and demand perfect men who "got their sh*t together." (They say this, unironically, AS SINGLE MOTHERS!) Yeah, cause why should *she* have her life together, when you just need to be the one who does?

I always use the same analogy: Dating a single mother is like paying twice as much for a used car. You can get a brand new one for cheaper. Why would most people want to do that?

[Asker]

But what if she has a job for herself, her own money , own house , kids are in school, grandparents mind the kids at weekend leaving lots of alone time with her date
I understand your point but life happens, i would have never had a family with him if i knew what the future would entail, like him having an affair, i just don't think that i shouldn't have the opportunity to find love someday because I have kids
I'm not your typical single mom
I have my life in order

[MCheetah]

Then she's probably in her mid 40s or 50s, and being a single parent is either a non-issue (adult children who live out of her home), or she's only searching for men in her age range.

But your profile says you're 18-24, so this wouldn't apply to you. And you can find can certainly love... With single fathers. Even *if* you didn't expect the man in your life to be buying and changing diapers like 99% of single mothers expect from men, a man would also grow suspicious of your character if you WEREN'T taking care of your kids. Then he'd just assume you were a sh*tty mother and probably wouldn't like you on that alone.

It's like, no one is trying to punish single moms for being single moms. But most of us don't want to put in the extra work to buy diapers and Christmas toys for someone else's kids, for maybe 25% of the time a childless woman could give him.

[integrale77]

My girlfriend is a single mum.
First thing I wanted her to know is I haven't done the parent thing myself so I'm inexperienced. So be prepared to have to explain things.

Something to make any potential partner aware of is having a kid means you have to plan things out in more detail and some times plans can change all of a sudden.

Me and my girlfriend have been together 1 year tomorrow so know things can work. You just need to find a man who has got to an age he has decided he's not going to find a girlfriend who isn't a single mum now.

[IMuser]

I don't know your story and this might be a little offensive but i believe a lot of guys would think like this.

If you are really in the age bracket of 18-24 and have 2 kids, thoughts would be:
1. This girl acts on her impulses rather than logic. Like fucking a guy without any kind of protection.
2. Let us assume that he doesn't mind the kids. Now would she be willing to father his kid if the guy wishes to have his own child?
3. With already two kids around, will there be any time for her to give it to the guy? Like kids will consume most of your time and then the remaining time will have to be partitioned between work, self care (just relaxing) and relationships (friends/family/love). A girl without kids will give him much more of her time to him than you
4. If you get married and divorce in some years, would he be effectively paying for children who are not even his?
5. Let us assume that everything is alright and you guys decide to marry. The parents of the guy will ask "why are you marrying someone with this much of baggage AS compared to someone who does not have it". (This is a tough question and your relationship really needs to be strong to answer it. Unless you are planning to have a open relationship)

It's surely a disadvantage in the dating scene, however you can find someone. Just find the answer of "what I can bring in the relationship for him".

Makes sense?

[slatyb]

Not as a childless young man. I don’t want to deal with the complications. Mostly you won’t be available to go out when I want to. Besides, you’ve already shown poor judgment. Why should I choose you over a woman without children?

On the other hand when I was 17 or 18 I met a woman about a year older with an infant daughter. She taught me to kiss. I was in college and nowhere ready to share her life. I’m still in love with her.

[Asker]

You got to experience true love

[Ian69]

Everyone has different views, and entitled to their own options. But having said all that, then yes I would be more than happy to date a single mum. There would have to be some sort of mutual connection/attraction to get things started and the children would have to like you too. I think it would be nice to be able to be in a position have your own little family, especially if things worked out. If things didn’t work out, then i know i would miss the children.

[Adam1978]

No I wouldn't. You made your choice and need to walk the road for about 20 years. So unless things are awful you should have stayed with the guy you picked as your family man.

[Asker]

He was having an affair
Left me for her
And got her pregnant in less than one month after the breakup
So I would have never had kids if i had any idea i would be in this situation
I just don't feel like i should lose out on the opportunity of finding love because I have kids

[JBlade]

Unfortunately, life isn’t fair. Regardless of how it happened, you now have way less opportunities than someone without kids.

[Adam1978]

So you made a bad choice. The most important choice of your life and now you have to live with the results. There is a reason why we have a strict picking in the history of women. Because it has always been known that it is what decide a woman faith. No man of value will take cleanup duty for that mistake. So you have to live with the slim picking or settle with bedroom fun only.

[Drumlin2001]

If I were in the dating pool i'd be a single dad of 2, so wouldn't be put off by dating single mum. But then i'm old, so would be looking for people in 30's/40's most probably. Maybe guys I their 20's would feel different

[VikingWarLord]

She'd have to share me, cuz I'd definitely be cheating.
I think I'd only consider otherwise if she was over 8 out of 10 in looks.
But how many single mothers are that fuuckin hot?

[Asker]

But why would u cheat just because she's a single mom?
Do u have less respect for single mothers?

[VikingWarLord]

It's extra burden on ME, especially since I have no little rug-rat crumb-crunchers of my own.
She'd have to be super fuuckin hot and even then I'd still probably cheat or keep my eye open for other options. Most single mothers get super fat and stay that way too. No dammn way I'd settle for that shiit. I'm assuming you're average or not as hot as you were before getting prego too.

[VikingWarLord]

hmm you are young though, 18-24 I'm assuming at least 21 though if you've had two.
What was your height and weight before kids and what is it now?
Send me a DM with some pics too, I'll be brutally honest if I (or other dudes) would jump into a relationship with you being a single mother.

[awkward_author]

I'd be willing to date a single mother if we had a connection, and there was mutual attraction. However, the children would need to approve, and I'd acknowledge that her kids will always come first.

[JBlade]

No way. I don’t want kids, especially not someone else’s.

[Anonymous]

Single moms are only useful for sex so it would have to be a purely sexual relationship. The second she asks me to do anything for her kids I'm out

[Asker]

Im not your typical single mom
I'd never ask any man other than my kids father to help me with them

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah yeah yeah all us men that have tried dating a single mom have heard that before.

Never again. Only for sex

[Asker]

Ok lol
You have your opinion
But I have my own job, my own house, my own money and parents that mind my kids when I go on a date and also the father of the kids so I don't think my life should be over because he had an affair
We don't all like to use other men

[HighValue]

No way.
I'd suggest looking for a single father. Maybe you'd have better luck with them.

[MrtoddsWildRide]

I'm a single dad with two kids. Hopefully it would end up like the Brady Bunch.

[Asker]

Your completely right
I feel like if i do have any chance in finding love someday it would more than likely be with a man who has kids

[MrtoddsWildRide]

It is a good common ground and a way to judge how suitable he is as a mate. If he has a bad relationship with his kids, then he will have a bad relationship with you. If he sacrifices and loves and cares for his kids, he's a keeper.

[Yourfriend2021]

It's more work than a single girl with no kids, you have to win the kids over too.

[Better_off_here]

i guess depends on where the father was in all of us too.
but i personally would choose not to.

[lycanthrope3]

I dated a few in my time, when it did not work out, i missed the kids

[Berethor]

Too much baggage.

[Jmmmfi4]

Probably would but prefer not to

[Yellovv]

I can date her if she like that too..

[Anonymous]

I don’t date single moms